“Yes,” Jake persisted, “but what feels best?”
“I don’t know. Just touch me.” To deflect the embarrassing conversation, Sandy rubbed her hand along Jake’s cock. “Maybe we should get out of the tub and make love.”
“Hmm, maybe we should.” Jake stood up, guided Sandy to a standing position, opened the drain, and turned on the shower. “But first, I, for one, need to rinse off,” he said, adjusting the shower to a warm pulsating spray.
Sandy felt Jake turn her so her back was against his chest, her chest directly under the water. He wrapped his hands around her and massaged her breasts, pinching her hard nipples until they stood out from her chest, tight and tingling. “Nice,” she purred.
As the water sluiced down her body, Sandy felt Jake’s teeth nibble at the tendon that ran across the top of her shoulder. “I don’t want to tickle you,” he said as his hand slid quickly down her belly and between her legs. “Does this tickle?”
“No, baby,” Sandy said. “That feels great.”
His fingers rubbed her erect clit. “Does this feel better?”
“Feels good,” Sandy moaned.
“Yes, but what feels best?”
“You do. Everything you do.” Sandy was breathing quickly now, hungry for what was to come.
“Show me,” Jake said. “Put your hand over mine and show me where you want me to touch you.”
Sandy stiffened. She frequently masturbated in the warm water of the tub, but this was entirely different. This was kinky. She couldn’t touch herself with anyone knowing—even Jake, even with his hand between her hand and her body. “Oh baby. Everything you do gives me pleasure,” she mumbled. “You know that.”
“I do, but I want to know more.”
“You are very stubborn,” Sandy said, her reluctance cooling some of her sexual desire. “Can’t you let this go?”
“I don’t want to, baby,” Jake said. “I want to know how to please you.”
Seizing on a way to divert his attention, Sandy said, “Will you show me what you like?”
Jake hesitated, then said softly, “Okay. I will if you will.” He quickly turned off the shower, grabbed two towels, and handed one to his wife.
In only moments, naked and still damp from their shower, Sandy and Jake were in the bedroom, stretched out on the bed. Jake’s hand caressed her breast, teasing her erect nipple, his mouth beside her ear. “Show me what you like, baby.”
“You promised you’d show me what you like first.” She propped herself up on her elbow, both excited and curious.
Jake smiled up at her. “I guess I did.” His cock was hard and it stuck straight up from his groin. He took Sandy’s hand in his and molded her fingers around his hard shaft. He slowly used Sandy’s fist to rub up and down. “I like it when you hold my cock like this.”
Sandy had rubbed Jake’s cock often, so she reached for the tube of K-Y jelly on the bedside table. “Let me make my hand slippery,” she said, squeezing a big dollop of chilling lubricant onto her palm. “Okay,” she said, placing the tube back in the drawer, “where were we?”
“You had your hand on my cock,” Jake said, his breathing raspy and uneven.
“And you were showing me what you like.”
Again, Jake took Sandy’s hand and pressed it against his erection. “Cold,” he said. “I love it when your hand is so cold and so slippery.” He slowly guided her hand up and down his cock.
He’s moving much more slowly than I do, she thought, and pressing more softly. I always thought he liked it fast and tight.
He guided her hand to his balls and tickled the sac with the tips of her fingers.
Sandy looked down at her husband’s closed eyes and the look of pure joy on his face. She felt him shudder. “Should I rub more?” she asked.
“Yes,” he groaned. “And touch here.” He pushed her finger to the small area of skin between the base of his balls and his anus. “Stroke here, softly.” His breathing quickened.
Sandy used her free hand to surround his slippery cock while massaging his balls and skin with the other. “This way? Does it feel good?”
“So good that you’re driving me crazy.” Jake’s back arched with need, and sweat broke out on his forehead.
Sandy was amazed. She had never imagined she could give so much pleasure with just her hands. She had used her mouth on Jake’s cock from time to time, but this was new. “Could you actually come from me touching you like this?”
“Continue and you’ll know soon enough,” he panted.
Sandy was thrilled as she watched his jaw clench. She rubbed and massaged, watching Jake’s face to see what gave the most pleasure. Soon she felt his cock start to twitch and spasm. “I’m going to come, baby,” he moaned. “Stop right now if you don’t want me to come yet.”
“Oh baby. I’d love to watch you come,” Sandy said. “Faster?”
“Yes. Faster. Now.” Jake came, streams of thick, sticky fluid spurting from his cock.
A short time later, Jake had recovered enough to remember the second part of their bargain. He snuggled against Sandy, his tongue circling her ear. “Please,” Jake said, resting his hand on her mound. “Now show me how to touch you. You’re so wet and so hot, I know you want me.”
“Yes, I do want you. Very much. I want you to make love to me.”
Jake looked down at his flaccid cock. “Not a chance for a while,” he said. “Anyway, we had a deal. I want to learn about you—about your body.” He moved so his mouth was above Sandy’s right breast. Then he licked from her breast-bone to her areola, not touching her nipple. Again and again, he licked, avoiding the erect nub he knew she wanted him to touch. “Do you want me to lick your nipple?”
“Yes,” Sandy whispered.
Jake nipped at her erect flesh. “Like that?”
“Oh yes.” Jake teased Sandy’s breast until the nipple was hard; then he switched to the other one. As her hips began to move, Sandy felt her hunger increase. “Love me.”
“You’ll have to show me what you want,” Jake said simply.
“Please. Touch me.”
“No, baby.” He lifted her hand, placed it on her lower belly, then placed his on top. “Show me. Touch yourself while I feel what you like.” Jake knew Sandy was reluctant, despite what they had just done, but he insisted. “Do it.” Jake’s voice took on the commanding quality that Sandy found very erotic. “Do it for me.”
Slowly, Sandy slid her hand lower, with Jake’s hand resting gently on top of it.
“Yes, baby,” Jake whispered. “Do it for me.”
Sandy slipped her fingers into her folds and felt her clit, so hard and needy. Her fingers knew just what she needed, but she was reluctant to reveal how well she knew her own body.
“Right here?” Jake whispered, his breath cool on her wet breast.
“Yes.”
“And here?”
“Oh yes.”
No longer able to resist the pull of her own body and the insistence in Jake’s voice, Sandy surrendered to her own needs. Her fingers found the places she liked to be touched and she rubbed them. “Yes, baby,” she heard Jake whisper. “Oh yes. That’s so good. Make it feel good.”
As she rubbed, Jake’s fingers slipped inside her, first one and then another, until her pussy was filled with him. It had never felt like this before, her masturbating while her husband’s fingers rubbed and stretched her. Higher and higher she drove herself, until she felt the familiar tension begin low in her belly. “Yes,” she said through gritted teeth. “Yes.”
She knew Jake had moved so he could watch their hands, but she no longer cared about anything but her approaching climax. “Don’t stop,” she begged him as his hand fucked her.
She knew just where to touch, and her fingers flew over her skin as her orgasm overtook her. “Yes,” she cried as her muscles clenched around Jake’s hand. “Don’t stop! Oh God, don’t stop.”
As Sandy prolonged her orgasm, Jake’s fingers filled her. When it was over
, the two lovers collapsed. It took a few minutes for her to catch her breath.
Jake sighed. “I’ve never felt anything like that. When you climaxed with my hand inside of you, I could feel all of it.” His voice was warm and loving. “Usually when you come, I’m otherwise occupied.”
“How did it feel?” Sandy asked softly, fascinated by the sound of wonder in his voice.
“I could feel all your muscles as you came. It was like you were pulling me inside of you. I actually got almost the same kind of pleasure from your climax as I do out of my own.”
“It was okay, what I did?”
Jake raised himself on one elbow and looked into Sandy’s eyes. “It was magnificent. I loved it. Was that very difficult for you?”
“In the beginning, I was very embarrassed. But eventually …”
“Yeah.” Jake giggled. “I know. Me, too.”
“That was wonderful.”
Tangled in each other, they fell asleep.
As you have seen, showing and/or telling your partner what gives pleasure and what doesn’t requires some understanding from both parties. Jake was so right when he asked whether he was supposed to guess. Too many of us think that a bit of body language or a few slight shifts of position will be sufficient to tell our partner how to move, what to touch. And when that isn’t enough, we try again once or twice, then give up and settle for the usual.
Your partner is probably just as frustrated. He senses that something’s not perfect, not the way he wants it to be, but he doesn’t know how to fix it. He tries to discover what’s needed, but maybe he isn’t as brave as Jake was, brave enough to ask out loud. So he flounders, fumbles, then gives up and settles for the status quo.
Sad, isn’t it? Both of you want what gives pleasure. You want the same thing! Help each other.
The problems are different, but no less important, for a newly partnered couple of greater experience. Many new relationships are formed between individuals who have been involved with others previously. Second and third marriages are more the norm than the exception—couples who are now trying to create satisfying relationships, having had permanent partners prior to this. This causes new problems.
Maybe you were happy with your previous partner and want to mold your new one into the image of that person. Sexually, you want the same type of foreplay and you want intercourse in the same sort of position and with the same timing and denouement that you had before. But your partner does, too, and there’s the problem. You probably don’t want exactly the same things.
The answer? Communication. There are no great lovers, only great partnerships. Talk with your partner. If you have trouble broaching the subject, have a glass of wine, a beer, or a drink, then relax and cuddle. However, don’t get so tipsy that you lose control over your mouth. This is a delicate process.
Try beginning with the things you don’t like, explaining them, perhaps, in the context of previous experiences.
“I had a lover once who liked to make love on the living-room carpet. I thought it would be fun, but I ended up with the worst rug burn on my bottom.”
“I had one who enjoyed making love in the shower. It was really nice until he got soap in my vagina. It burned like hell and I was too embarrassed to mention it.”
This kind of lighthearted discussion can lead to more serious topics. Take care, however, not to get into a “let’s knock our previous partner” contest. That’s a sure loser, since it puts your current partner in competition with your previous one. This is a new relationship and should chart its own course.
While you’re laughing about negative experiences, listen carefully. Extend your personal antenna and try to hear the truths that might be hidden inside the jests. Carol found out some interesting things when she and her new husband, Barry, had such a conversation.
CAROL AND BARRY’S STORY
“I remember one man,” Carol said, snuggled against her husband, Barry, on the sofa one Tuesday evening, “who made love to me and never took off his socks.”
“You’re kidding!”
“Nope. One evening, he kept his undershirt on, too. He said that when he did his next load of laundry, the semen stains would remind him of me. That was the last evening I ever spent with him.”
Barry’s laugh was forced. “I know you had lovers before we met, but it still makes me a bit jealous.”
“Me, too. About your women, I mean. But whatever happened is in the past now.” Carol cuddled closer and put her hand on her husband’s chest, her head in the crook of his shoulder. “What was your worst?”
Barry smiled. “Hair spray. This girl I dated … well, she had hair like straw, and when I finally got her into bed, it looked like the scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz. It took days to get the smell of that sticky stuff out of my nose.”
Carol chuckled. “Don’t say anything—I used to use lots of that stuff.”
Barry ruffled Carol’s hair. “I’m glad you don’t do that anymore.”
“Your talk about smells reminds me: I dated a guy who smoked. He started to kiss me, but I couldn’t do it. His breath was so nasty that I went home. Just like that.” Carol hesitated. “Did you ever want to do something that a girl didn’t like?”
Barry got a faraway look in his eyes. “There was a girl once. Her name was Marge. God, I loved her tits almost as much as I love yours. They were big, pillowy, soft.” Barry reached over and stroked Carol’s large breasts through her sweater.
“What did you want her to do that she didn’t want to?”
Barry shifted position and tightened his arm around Carol’s shoulder. “You’ll think this is gross.”
“No. I promise I won’t.”
Barry tweaked Carol’s nipples through the fabric. “I wanted more than anything for her to let me rub my cock between her tits.”
“Really?”
“Okay, maybe I’m some kind of pervert, but that’s what I wanted.”
Carol glanced at Barry’s crotch and saw the unmistakable bulge their conversation had created. She sat up, pulled off her sweater and bra, and knelt on the floor between Barry’s feet. She quickly unzipped his fly and took out his hard cock. “How?” She leaned forward and captured his member between her large breasts. “Like this?” She pressed the palms of her hands against the sides of her breasts and moved up and down, fucking his cock with her tits.
“Shit, honey,” Barry groaned. “Just like that. But it needs to be slippery.” He dipped his fingers into the water glass on the coffee table and rubbed the cold liquid in the valley between Carol’s breasts. Then he held his cock as she grasped it between her now-wet globes. It took only moments before he was spurting come all over his jeans and shirt, covering Carol’s chest, as well.
Later, he said, “That’s been a fantasy of mine for so long that I couldn’t wait. I’m sorry it was so fast.”
“And you should be sorry,” Carol teased. “But maybe I can figure out a way for you to make it up to me.”
“Oh?” Barry said, one eyebrow raised.
“Actually, I have a few things I’ve always wanted.”
“Name them,” Barry said, grinning. “I dare you.”
If you are newly partnered and have had previous long-term partners, you and your ex had certain understandings, whether you realize it or not. Maybe you never made love on Fridays. Or perhaps you made love only after eleven in the evening. Or, like me, you may never have made love while you had your period. See whether you can discover what those rules were, although they usually evolve so subtly that you’re not aware you even had rules. When you discover one of those “Goes without saying” regulations, decide whether it’s one to keep—like my aversion to making love while menstruating—or one that should be reconsidered—like never making love outside the bedroom.
I’ve had three long-term relationships in my life: my marriage, a six-year partnership, and my current twelve-year partnership with Ed. In each relationship, my partner and I had to establish new ground rules and discover
all over again the things that gave each of us joy. And, surprisingly enough, those things changed. You may have given up the idea of some activity because your previous partner didn’t enjoy it. Now you have the opportunity to try all over again. Hooray for new relationships.
One part of establishing a monogamous relationship is birth control. You’ve probably already begun to discuss family planning, but if you need more specific information, consult your doctor or do some simple research. Having children is the most important decision you and your partner may ever make. If she becomes pregnant, let it be because you both wanted it, not because of ignorance.
There are many things that do not prevent pregnancy—for example, douching, making love standing up, and withdrawing before ejaculation. If you want details about why these don’t work, check with your doctor or a text on the subject. But trust me. They don’t.
Also, there are those who believe that if a woman doesn’thave an orgasm, she can’t conceive; that a woman can’t conceive while she has her period or while she’s nursing; or that she can’t conceive during her very first sexual experience. Unfortunately, all those myths are just that—myths.
Men and women used to soak in hot baths to “kill all the sperm and eggs” right before intercourse. That didn’t work, either.
Many women believe that douching with any number of concoctions—from vinegar to soapy water to over-the-counter products—right before or after copulation will also prevent conception. Wrong.
A warning: Let’s take a moment to discuss douching. Don’t douche. Many doctors believe that commercially available douches and/or douching with vinegar or other liquids can upset the bacterial balance of your vagina and lead to irritation and infection. So don’t be sold on the “feeling fresh” advertising. A woman who bathes and/or showers regularly will be fresh. If you really don’t feel clean or odorless and it’s interfering with your sex life, shower right before sex— together.
As far as selecting the proper method of birth control, check with your doctor and discuss it at length with your partner. There are many options available and more on the way, since the FDA perpetually has products in the approval process. Each method has its advantages and disadvantages, so for each couple it is a personal choice. But whatever you use, use it regularly. Don’t miss that pill. Use that foam or sponge precisely according to the manufacturer’s directions. Be sure that your diaphragm is filled with plenty of spermicidal gel and in place every night, whether you plan to have sex or not. That allows for spontaneity, with no unexpected surprises nine months later.
Now and Forever--Let's Make Love Page 3