Who R U Really?

by Margo Kelly

  “Thea, what would have happened if you’d met Derek after school? That is what you were planning, right? To meet him before basketball practice?”

  “Someday. Not right away.”

  “What would that someday look like? How would the events unfold?”

  “I don’t know—”

  “Answer him,” Mom said. Her tone of voice sent daggers through my heart. She was on his side.

  My chest tightened, and tears threatened to fall. I lifted my eyes to the ceiling. “We would’ve talked. Gone for a walk. Gotten something to eat. Nothing major. Nothing wrong.” The officer sighed again. Seriously? He was supposed to be helping, but he was ticking me off.

  “Thea, he would have gotten you in his car and taken you to another location.”

  “Okay,” I said. What was I supposed to say? The officer shook his head.

  “He would’ve taken you to another location, and if you were lucky, he would have only abused you and left you alive. If you were unlucky, he’d leave you dead.”

  My chest rose and fell noticeably. I didn’t want the officer to see that he was upsetting me, but the idea that Derek may have wanted me dead ripped apart my soul. I folded my arms across my stomach and tried to hold myself together.

  “Thea, we’re going to investigate him. We’re going to get in touch with the Georgia police and have them investigate him also. We’re going to go onto Skadi and pretend to be you and engage him in conversations. We’re going to arrange a time and place to meet, posing as you. Do you understand?”

  “He’ll be able to tell it’s not me. You won’t know the answers to certain questions he might ask.”

  “We know what we’re doing, Thea. We’ve been doing this a long time, and we’ve caught a lot of predators. But, please, tell me what questions you think he might ask that we won’t know the answers to.”

  “Well, our friend Red lives in Hawaii, but she hasn’t been online in a while.”

  “Your friend?”

  “Yes.” He made it impossible for me to give him this information, but I needed him to listen. My breathing quickened, and I continued. “I’ve been worried about her because she hasn’t been online in a while. What if Derek is a predator, and he’s done something to her?” I pulled a folded piece of paper from my pocket. “This is the article from the Internet. Could you find out if this is my friend Red and see if she really is dead?” He stared at me without responding for a few seconds, and then he reached out for the paper.

  “We’ll check into it. But she is not your friend. How do you know she isn’t Derek’s partner? Maybe she helps set traps to lure kids in, like you.”

  I shook my head.

  The detective leaned forward and raised his voice even more. “Thea! No one online is your friend. Your friends are the ones you see in person on a regular basis. You’ve got to understand that. You were fortunate here. Your mom stopped this before you were violated, raped, abused, or killed. You are one of the fortunate ones. But now you have a responsibility. It is your job to tell others—your real everyday friends that you go to school with—tell them what happened to you, so nothing like this can happen to them. Do you understand me? Is any of this sinking in?”

  I found the courage to ask one more question. “What will happen to Derek?”

  Detective Corbett shoved away from the table, disgusted with me. “If we’re lucky, we’ll be able to find a law he’s broken and arrest him.”

  “You know his name and where he lives,” Mom said. “Why can’t you arrest him now?”

  “It’s not that simple. We’ll search through Thea’s phone and computer, and we’ll pose as her online, but unless we can find a law he’s broken, there won’t be much for us to do. If he resided in Idaho, it’d be easier for us to pursue him, but since he lives in Georgia, that complicates the matter.”

  “What would he have to do in order for you to be able to arrest him?” Mom asked.

  “He would have to cross state lines and initiate sexual contact with Thea before any law would be broken.”

  Mom paled. “So, are we wasting our time here?”

  “No. Like I said, we’ll go through her equipment, and we’ll try to catch him with something online, but he’s smart. He’ll be on guard.” The detective turned back to me. “Thea, you understand, you can never use your old usernames again. We’ll be using them. So, never create another character with any of your previous online aliases. Got it?”

  “Don’t worry,” Mom said. “She’s never going online again. Period.”

  The officer glanced at her and then back at me.“Whether you go online or not is between you and your parents, but I’m asking you to never go on Skadi. And never utilize your old usernames. Can you agree to that?”

  “Yes.”

  He rose and extended his hand to me. “Thea, I’m glad to meet you in person and alive, rather than finding your body somewhere. Stay safe and make smarter choices. And tell me, who are your friends?”

  “The people I see in person on a regular basis.”

  “That’s right. Now go tell them the same thing.” He shook Mom’s hand. “I’ll call you when we’re done with the phone and the computer. It’ll take us a week, and then you can come back and pick up the equipment.”

  CHAPTER 23

  Mom dropped me off at school after the appointment with the detective. I handed the attendance slip to my second period algebra teacher. Janie squirmed in her seat, but since there was no empty desk near her, I sat on the far side of the room.

  I tried to focus on the math, but my mind kept drifting back to the detective. Once the class ended, Janie bolted over to me.

  “Are you okay?” she asked.

  “Yeah.”

  “That’s all you’re going to say?” I looked into the undernourished face of my best friend and fought to control my emotions.

  “I’m okay if you’re okay,” I said.

  “This isn’t about me.” She stiffened with each word. I linked my arm through hers, and we walked to the hall. Her shirtsleeve seemed to be the only thing covering her bones.

  “You’re too skinny, and I don’t know what to do about it.”

  “Don’t criticize me. You promised . . . How’d the appointment with the detective go?” The bell rang and the hall cleared as fast as cockroaches running from the daylight. We stayed together a moment longer.

  “I’ll tell you later,” I said. “We need to get to class.”

  “I want all the details,” Janie said. She removed her arm from mine and headed in the opposite direction.

  ■

  At lunch, Tim and Janie had a million questions about the police detective. I wanted to answer their questions, but my mind faded away to conversations Derek and I had with each other, especially when we quoted song lyrics. Lauren Harper’s words played over and over in my head. We were supposed to make history. Sing and dance. Because this was supposed to be more than just a short romance.

  “Thea, did you hear me?” Janie asked.

  “What?”

  “Did the detective find out anything about Red?”

  “I told him about her. But he was pretty upset with me.”

  “Why?” Tim asked.

  I chewed on the inside of my cheek.“He kept going on and on about who your real friends are.” I rubbed my eyes. “Can we talk about something else for a while? I can’t deal right now.”

  “Sure,” Janie said. “What do you want to talk about?”

  “When’s your dad coming home?” Tim asked.

  I threw my head down on my arms. My breath rebounded from the lunchroom table and spread warmth across my cheeks.

  “Sorry,” Tim said.

  I lifted up and asked, “How am I ever going to fix this with my parents? They are so disappointed in me.”

  “Do everything they say with a smile on your face,” Tim said.

  “Speaking from experience?” Janie smirked.

  “And I’ve lived to see another day.” Tim waggled his ey
ebrows.

  The bell rang.

  We separated for classes. The rest of the afternoon went quickly, and I headed to the locker room to dress down for basketball. I laced up my shoes and gave myself a pep talk. I could do this. I needed to concentrate on my basketball skills.

  I listened to the basketball coach and paid attention, but halfway through practice a guy who resembled Derek peeked in through the gym doors, and I stifled a scream.

  Surely, it wasn’t him, but I couldn’t tell because he didn’t come all the way into the gym. I had to stop for a second and take a deep breath, but that made it worse. My gut hurt like someone had taken a sledgehammer to it. I was overreacting. I ignored the pain and ran back into place for the drills.

  Mom showed up and watched the end of practice. I grabbed my gear and walked out with her.

  “How’d your day go?” she asked.

  “Fine.”

  “Really?”

  “Really.” We got into the car and headed out of the lot.

  “So, what was the best part of your day?” Mom asked. My mouth dropped in surprise. Was she not angry with me anymore? Her sympathetic tone made me wonder if the danger was over. “Well?” she asked.

  “Seeing you?” I accidentally said it as a question rather than an answer. She picked up on it immediately.

  “You don’t sound certain of that. Let’s try again . . . What was the best part of your day?” I remembered Tim’s advice to smile and do what she wanted.

  “Seeing you,” I said with confidence.

  “What was the second best thing?”

  “Well, basketball went better today.”

  “What was the worst?” She kept her eyes forward on the road.

  “Disappointing you.” At first, she didn’t look at me or say anything, but then a tear slid down her cheek, and she wiped it away.

  “Thanks,” she said.

  We rode the rest of the way in silence.

  ■

  After dinner, Mom handed me a wrapped box.

  “What’s this?” I asked.

  “An early Christmas gift.” She surprised me.

  “I figured you’d returned all my presents to the stores. Only coal for me this year.”

  “Never.” She placed her hand on my arm. “I love you, Thea . . . Open it.”

  I did. It wasn’t a Quote of the Day calendar. Instead, the box said, Positive Daily Affirmations. I looked to Mom for a clue, because I wasn’t sure how to react.

  “I don’t get it,” I said.

  Mom opened it and showed me that the calendar was similar to my old favorite; however, instead of quotes, each day said things like: I can positively influence my life, and I deserve love.

  Just. Great. Tim’s words from lunch echoed in my mind. I smiled and said thanks.

  “Don’t worry . . .” Mom said as she fussed with a ring on her finger. “Your Quote of the Day calendar is still wrapped for Christmas morning. I just thought you might like this one also.”

  Or not.

  She hugged me, and I headed for bed.

  CHAPTER 24

  As I packed my backpack the next morning, I picked up the new Positive Daily Affirmations calendar, tore off a couple of pages, and shoved them into my backpack. I had to show them to Janie, because I knew she’d get a good laugh out of them.

  When I set the calendar back on my nightstand, a cold chill ran up my neck. I flashed back to the self-defense class and remembered Jackson’s warnings. Pay attention to your instincts, he had said. I jerked around expecting to find someone behind me, but no one was there. I checked my window. Still locked. But goose bumps covered my arms. I pulled up the blinds all the way and opened the window. I peered out. Nothing. I poked at the screen with my index finger to see if it would come loose. It didn’t. I couldn’t tell from the inside if it was screwed in like Derek had suggested that one night. Why had I never checked it before now? I gathered my courage and examined the screen.

  Two black plastic tabs stuck out on the right side. With a hand on each one, I tugged, and the screen moved a bit. I pulled harder and then wiggled it upward. The screen popped out of the frame, slipped from my fingers, and fell to the ground outside. I leaned through the window, and my hands grazed a bunch of nicks in the outside framework of the window. With the tip of my index finger, I traced the gouge marks. I glanced outside, but I needed a better view. I shut the window, hustled down the hall, ran through the kitchen, and rushed out back.

  The screen lay on the ground, bent. Dad would kill me when he found it. I lifted it and tried to straighten it back to its original shape. No luck. I only made it worse. I propped it against the house and studied the nicks on the window frame.

  Had someone tried to pry open my window? No. That was insane. Those marks had probably been there for a long time. I fiddled with my lip and tried to come up with a reasonable solution. But I couldn’t think of one.

  As I turned to head back inside, another shiver ran through my bones. I scanned the backyard for anything unusual. The naked branches of the large dogwood tree squirmed after a short gust of air blew through the yard. My imagination was playing tricks on me. I swallowed hard and realized it was official. Not only was I alone, but I was also going crazy. I assured myself Derek was still in Georgia. He’d made up the stuff about my screen being screwed in, and I was worrying for nothing. After a few deep breaths, I went back into the house to finish getting ready for school.

  ■

  I jogged into the cafeteria and searched for Janie, but I didn’t see her. A hand seized my arm from behind. I tugged away and spun around. Tim stood frozen, apparently confused by my sudden action.

  “You scared me! Give a girl some warning before grabbing her!”

  “Sorry,” Tim said. His perfectly straight teeth distracted me.

  “Where’s Janie?” I asked.

  “I was about to ask you.” We checked the room once more. No Janie. The bell rang. We headed for the hall and walked toward her locker, but she wasn’t there.

  “Maybe she’s sick,” Tim said.

  “She was fine yesterday.”

  The tardy bell rang, and Tim said, “I’ll see you at lunch.” We went separate directions for our first period classes. Where was Janie?

  ■

  Tim waited by my locker before lunch. “What are you doing here?” I asked.

  “Watching for you.”

  “We could have found each other in the cafeteria.”

  “Sure, but this way we can go together.” Strange. It was one thing when Tim was helping Janie and me get back together, but it was odd being here alone with him. Well, as alone as two people could be in a herd of high school students.

  “Where are Josh and Taylor?” I asked. I hardly ever saw Tim hanging out with them anymore. Tim pointed down the hall. Josh and Taylor huddled with a couple of cheerleaders. The two guys proudly wore their wrestling T-shirts. I glanced around the hall at the other students and spotted several more guys in their school spirit wrestling shirts, and then realized the cheerleaders were wearing their uniforms.

  “Is there a wrestling tournament today?” I asked. Tim nodded.

  “Where’s your shirt?”

  “I’m not on the team.”

  “Did you try out?”

  Tim shook his head, and then without warning, he grabbed my hand. “Come on, let’s go to lunch.” He dragged me away from the locker and down the hall.

  “Wait!” I pulled back. “The coach promised to post the rosters by lunch time. I want to see if I made the team.”

  “Sure thing,” he said and dropped my hand. But before I could breathe a sigh of relief he placed the same hand on the small of my back to lead me down the hall. Pretty sure I didn’t need to be led.

  “What are you doing?” I stopped in the middle of the hall, and a girl bumped into me. The stream of students flowed around us.

  A bit of pink colored his tanned cheeks, and his blue eyes were duller than I remembered.

  “Why a
re you hanging out with me? Touching me?” For as long as I could remember, Tim always invaded my personal space. I wasn’t a hugging kind of girl, and I didn’t understand why he needed to be so close to me all the time.

  “Why aren’t you on the wrestling team?” I asked.

  Tim sighed and evaded my questions. “Let’s check the list,” he said and reached for me, but I swatted him away. “All right,” he said. “No touching. Sorry.”

  “Why aren’t you on the wrestling team?” I asked again, determined to find out the truth. “Why aren’t you hanging out with Josh and Taylor?”

  The color on his cheeks darkened.“Don’t push this. Let’s check the list and then eat lunch.”

  What was wrong with him? I’d never seen him act this way before. I hated that he wouldn’t answer my questions. But considering how patient he’d been with me, I decided to cut him some slack. I had no idea why he’d stuck with me through all this crap with Derek. He even stuck with me when Janie hadn’t.

  “You promise to tell me later?”

  He gave a slight nod and said, “Sure.”

  We made our way to the gym. Tim moved shoulder to shoulder with me. His hand brushed against mine, but he didn’t try to take it. I wasn’t sure if I was relieved or sad. I looked up at him and smiled. He slowly smiled back.

  A crowd of girls surrounded the list posted on the gym wall. I maneuvered my way to the front and searched for my name. It wasn’t there. I scanned the sophomore team list, the JV, and the varsity, but my name was nowhere. I read through the lists once more. A girl to my left screamed and jumped. She made varsity. Two girls leaned into the list and found their names on the sophomore team. They held hands and squealed. Somebody bumped in front of me, and I could no longer see the roster. Another girl squeezed past me, and I stepped backward. My eyes burned. I blinked, hoping to fight the tears pushing against my will. I looked down at my white-knuckled fists and shook them out.

  “I’ll be all right,” I whispered to myself and took a deep breath.

  I walked back to where Tim waited. “There’s always next year,” he said.

  “How’d you know I didn’t make the team?”