Before the Rains

by Dinah Jefferies

  ‘Would you like one of me standing too?’ Indi was saying.

  ‘Maybe another with the book in your hand first.’

  ‘Hē bhagavāna,’ Indi said as she turned the page, ‘why is Jay reading about toxic chemicals?’

  ‘No idea,’ Eliza said and changed the subject. ‘Did you know your grandmother came to help when I was bitten?’

  ‘She told me. It was odd, actually; she spoke a lot about you. But why all the fuss – people rarely die from a black widow’s bite.’

  ‘I think I had an extreme reaction. Jay was wonderful.’ Eliza couldn’t help but grin at the memory of his gentle care and consideration while she’d been ill.

  ‘Oh, he would be,’ Indi said, and gave a chilly smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

  ‘Indi, I –’

  ‘Oh, don’t worry; I can see it in your eyes. His too for that matter. But be warned, if I can see it, everyone else will too.’

  ‘I’m sorry. We just started out as friends.’

  ‘Don’t be. I’m over it. But I wouldn’t fall in love with him. You’re not the first, Eliza, not by a long way. And Laxmi won’t like it at all.’

  ‘She doesn’t know,’ Eliza said, as calmly as her thumping heart would allow. In her mind she was remembering his legs tangled with her own, so dark against the white of the sheets.

  Indi pulled a face, then shook her head. ‘She may seem all kindness to you, but when it comes to her darling sons, they can do no wrong. Make no mistake, she will not allow it to continue. You’d better watch your step.’

  Eliza examined her nails but didn’t reply for a moment. When she spoke it was in a small tight voice. ‘You mean not the first English woman?’

  ‘Of course. But he must have told you about them. Isn’t that what lovers do? Tell each other. And you’re not a virgin anyway, so what does it matter? He usually likes the married ones. Over soonest.’

  Eliza swallowed hard. How many had there been?

  ‘Is that why Jay was reading about toxic chemicals?’ Indi said.

  ‘I don’t follow?’

  ‘To poison Laxmi.’ She threw back her head and laughed, but Eliza was horrified. Jay had probably just been reading up on pyro.

  At that moment Jay walked in. Eliza saw the anxiety in his eyes when he caught sight of her face.

  ‘It’s a joke, Eliza, just a joke,’ Indi said.

  ‘Something wrong?’ he said, looking from one to the other.

  Eliza shook her head. ‘Just a joke I didn’t get.’

  He frowned. ‘That’s all?’

  ‘Relax,’ Indi piped up. ‘Gosh, you’re tense. Been doing something you shouldn’t have, Jay?’

  ‘Indira knows about us,’ Eliza said, thinking it best to just come out with it.

  He shrugged. ‘It was bound to happen. Now, Eliza, where do you want me?’ he said, as he turned away from Indi.

  ‘Sitting at the desk. Is that OK?’

  ‘Good idea,’ Indi said. ‘The Prince at his desk. The British will love it.’

  Jay laughed, but Eliza knew exactly what he was recalling in his mind’s eye. Just before they had left his palace to come back here she had found him pacing his study. He’d asked her to come to help with the papers that lay all over the room, but when she took a few steps towards him he’d picked her up and sat her on the desk. Then he’d kissed her neck.

  ‘I thought you needed me,’ she’d said, glancing at the papers.

  ‘I do need you, more than you know.’

  She laughed as he undid her blouse and then lifted up her skirt.

  ‘Glad you’re not wearing trousers,’ he said.

  She helped him slip off her underwear and then he removed his trousers. He bent his head and kissed her stomach. She threw back her head and gazed at the ceiling, no thoughts in her mind at all, just the sensation of his lips brushing her skin and his hands on her breasts. When it got too much to bear, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him to her. The papers went flying and ended strewn across the floor as they made love. When it was over they were both so damp they’d gone to her room and she had wiped the moisture from his skin. Then he had done the same for her, although it hadn’t ended there. He had washed her hair, gently massaging her skull afterwards. Indian head massage, he’d said. He had made her sit on a stool and had spent ages massaging her head, neck and shoulders until she felt as if her muscles were made of liquid. Then he’d carried her to the bed, where they’d made love again, although this time so slowly Eliza felt she had slipped outside herself.

  She was in the process of learning what he liked, how he sighed when she touched him, how he liked her to move with him inside her, but he seemed to already know exactly what she wanted, even before she knew herself. For those last few days at his palace they hadn’t been able to stop themselves. They had lived in their own world, safe from everything that might hurt them, and it had made everything beautiful. The sunsets were especially splendid, the dawns heart-breaking, the wind had carried the fragrance of frangipani and jasmine and the sun had shone. Her love for him, and her love for life and his beautiful palace, had expanded until that was all there was and all there would ever be. ‘What is this?’ she’d said. He’d replied that it was a result of his terror of losing her after she’d been bitten. He had to make her truly his.

  ‘And you mine,’ she’d said. ‘Hamesha.’

  ‘Always,’ he echoed.

  Now, standing in the room with Indi and Jay, Eliza came to with a jolt. She knew she was reddening at the memory and wondered if she could ever look at a desk in quite the same way.

  Jay had spotted the colour on her face and winked, but Indi had seen it too. ‘For goodness’ sake. If you want to keep it secret, no more lingering looks.’

  Eliza had not been aware of lingering looks, but of course that was the thing about being in love. The sparkly sweet-scented madness that rendered you helpless – so wrapped up in that one person you became oblivious to everyone and everything else. Even though Eliza knew it was lunacy, she did not want it to stop. Not ever. She decided she must practise being more discreet, though at the back of her mind she wasn’t really sure she wanted it to remain a secret. Surely if they explained that they loved each other Laxmi would understand? Then Indi’s earlier remarks about Jay’s previous love affairs came racing back. Was he really the type who fell in love at the drop of a hat and then got bored? As she asked herself that question, she looked at him and the love in his eyes shone out. No. He couldn’t be that kind of man.

  25

  The following day Eliza was surprised when a handmaiden came to say that Clifford had asked to see her and was waiting in the durbar hall, wanting to talk with her.

  Only ten in the morning and already hot, Eliza slipped into a summer frock she had made herself: vibrant green with white spots, a fitted bodice that had taken ages to get right, short sleeves and a crisp white collar. Then she made her way to the durbar hall, where she found Clifford walking the length of it with his back to her. She watched for a moment or two. How stiff his narrow shoulders were. She imagined him naked, and at the thought of his pale body she couldn’t help the comparison with Jay, whose skin, when lit by a lamp, glowed like burnished copper. She pictured touching Jay in the way he loved, his body molten and moving in tandem with her so that they seemed to have been designed to fit.

  She was sorry for Clifford, but when he twisted round to look at her, she shrank from what looked like triumph in his eyes.

  ‘So, Eliza, you decided against Shimla.’

  ‘You know I did. I still have things to do here.’

  ‘Things to do, Eliza?’

  Even though she realized he was trying to embarrass her, she refused to lower her eyes and held his gaze.

  ‘So?’ he said.

  She drew in her breath. ‘Clifford, I’m busy. Was there something?’

  ‘Yes. Here’s your camera back.’ He handed Eliza a box.

  ‘Thank you, Clifford. Was there anythi
ng else?’

  ‘Oh yes. Most certainly. Your prints will be back soon.’ He still showed no sign of moving.

  ‘And?’

  ‘Let us walk out to the courtyard.’

  Outside it was already sweltering and Eliza began to perspire. ‘Aren’t you hot in that linen jacket?’ she said.

  ‘Don’t worry about me, old girl. I’m used to the heat.’

  They walked across to a wide flame tree and made themselves comfortable on a bench beneath it. The birds were sleeping now and all you could hear was the water falling from a small fountain and the mali moving slowly as he tended to the flowerbeds at the other end of the courtyard.

  ‘So you’re wondering why I’ve come.’

  Eliza looked up at the endless blue of the sky and wished he’d leave. She wanted to be alone with her thoughts of Jay. She liked to go over each moment they’d shared, and when she did a little shiver of physical memory gripped her. She was becoming addicted to recalling moments too thrilling to share with anyone, though she knew they’d have to tell people something soon. And by people, of course, she meant Laxmi. She was lost in her thoughts when Clifford spoke again, and for a moment assumed she had heard incorrectly.

  ‘Say that again?’

  ‘Jayant Singh is likely to be arrested.’

  She twisted her body towards him, thinking it must be a joke. He wasn’t smiling.

  ‘Why?’

  He puckered his chin. ‘Under suspicion of insurrection.’

  ‘Don’t be ridiculous. He’s almost as British as you and I.’

  ‘But not where it counts.’ He thumped his chest. ‘His heart is Indian through and through. Anyone caught circulating seditious papers can be imprisoned indefinitely. Anyone. No appeal. And for a member of a royal family to be active precludes their right to rule for ever.’

  ‘But he wouldn’t do anything like that,’ she said, feeling heat at the back of her eyelids and pleading with herself not to cry.

  ‘And you know that, how?’

  ‘I just do. He’s good and honest.’

  ‘And you have been spending far too much time with him.’

  She stiffened. ‘That isn’t any of your business.’

  ‘Does his mother know?’

  She looked away, knowing her eyes would tell him the truth.

  ‘I thought not. She won’t be best pleased.’

  ‘Clifford, please don’t say anything. I’m asking you as a friend.’

  He gave her an ingratiating smile. ‘We’ll see.’

  Eliza hated that phrase. That and Let me think about it or I’ll give it some thought – the dismissive phrases her mother used to make her feel as if she were insignificant and whatever it was she had asked for was of little or no consequence. She got to her feet.

  ‘You know what, Clifford. I bloody well don’t care. Do your worst.’

  He glanced up at the gallery that circled the courtyard, hidden behind jali screens. ‘Never know who’s watching. Personally I can’t imagine anyone wanting to remain in a place like this. Don’t give the silent watchers anything to gossip about. Calm down and sit down. That’s not why I’m here.’

  So that was why he’d led her out here. He had known they’d be in full view of the zenana and she would not wish to make a scene in front of them.

  ‘Now smile and be a good girl,’ he continued as he patted the seat. She took a deep shuddering breath and sat, though it only made her want to slap his smug face.

  ‘So what has Jay done? Tell me exactly.’

  ‘I can’t say just yet.’

  ‘You’ve no proof, have you?’ She watched his eyes. ‘No proof at all.’

  ‘Eliza, be assured I have everything I need to put your Prince Jay behind bars for a very long time.’

  Even though it was terribly hot, a chill passed through her. He had to be bluffing. Surely. She had a sinking feeling that seemed to be growing by the minute. First, all the things Indi had said about Jay’s affairs with women, and now this. But still she could not believe what he was saying.

  ‘Why tell these lies, Clifford?’ she said. ‘It won’t make me care for you more.’

  ‘I need you to take me to Jay’s study without him being there. Can you do that? Is there a way we can do it without being seen?’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘There’s something I need to check.’

  She narrowed her eyes. ‘You want me to help you prove he is disloyal to the British?’

  ‘You can look at it that way. Or on the other hand it might prove that he is loyal.’

  She snorted. ‘And that this is some ridiculous trumped-up charge.’

  ‘Exactly.’

  ‘Who has accused him?’

  ‘I can’t tell you that.’

  ‘Very well. I don’t suppose I have much choice. Though I don’t see the need for this ridiculous skulduggery.’

  ‘You have the key?’

  She nodded.

  ‘He must trust you.’

  They walked slowly through the long, thick-walled corridors, though for Eliza the cooler air meant scant relief. She unlocked Jay’s door and they both went in. Clifford didn’t look at anything but went to sit at the desk and pulled the typewriter closer. ‘Where does he keep the paper?’

  ‘In the second drawer down. Why?’

  He didn’t answer, but opened the drawer and pulled out a sheet and inserted it into the machine, slowly rolling it round to the top. The sound really irritated Eliza, who couldn’t help but feel Clifford was dragging this out – whatever this was. He typed a few sentences, rolled the sheet of paper through and pulled it free.

  ‘I think that’s enough,’ he said, as he got to his feet and pocketed the sheet of paper.

  ‘What did you just write?’

  ‘You can look. Nothing significant, I promise you.’

  He handed her the sheet of paper and she read some nonsense about Kent being the garden of England.

  ‘You’re from Kent originally?’

  ‘I am.’

  ‘So what’s Kent got to do with Jay?’

  ‘Kent? Nothing at all. And now I must leave you.’

  Eliza was puzzled. ‘But you said you wanted to look round his study?’

  ‘I’ve seen all I need to. Thanks very much.’

  ‘Aren’t you going to explain?’

  ‘Another time.’ And with that he gave her a cheery wave and left her not knowing what to think. Had she made things worse for Jay or had she made them better?

  As if that was not enough, the very next day she was summoned to the outer rooms of the Maharajah. When she arrived he was already sitting on a small gaddi with Priya at his side. Standing facing him were Jay and Laxmi. Jay’s rebellious stance – arms folded, legs wide apart – indicated that there was trouble afoot. In addition Chatur was there, sitting on a high-backed chair with his back against the wall.

  ‘Thank you for coming,’ Anish said, waving at Eliza to come closer but not indicating that she should sit. Priya didn’t meet Eliza’s eyes, and Jay simply nodded at her. Laxmi turned away, but Eliza had glimpsed that Jay’s mother seemed to be looking very red-eyed. What on earth was going on here?

  ‘You took it upon yourself to do this?’ Anish was saying.

  ‘I did. It was all my doing,’ Jay said.

  ‘And you, mother?’

  ‘I –’

  ‘She had nothing to do with it,’ Jay interjected.

  Laxmi shook her head but remained silent.

  ‘And how were you able to get hold of the key if your mother did not assist?’ Priya added, spitting the words in a disparaging tone and emphasizing the words your mother.

  Jay looked at the ground before answering, then raised his head and met Anish’s furious glare. ‘I knew where she kept the keys to the jewel safe.’

  ‘And the mortgage you raised on these family jewels? My inheritance, not to put too fine a point on it. Not yours.’

  Priya made a sharp tutting noise, but Anish held up his hand a
s if to warn her to keep silent. If looks could kill, Priya’s face would have had Anish dead on the spot.

  Laxmi’s shoulders heaved. ‘It was I who suggested it. It is not Jayant’s fault.’

  Priya stood suddenly. ‘Say that again!’

  Laxmi squared her shoulders and stared at her daughter-in-law. ‘I gave him the key! It was my idea to mortgage the jewels. The irrigation of our lands is crucial if the people are to survive another drought. You, Anish, were doing nothing. Your father would be ashamed of you. Don’t you realize the British will accuse you of misrule unless you act, and then we’ll lose everything.’

  ‘Mother!’ Anish said in a shocked tone.

  ‘Mother,’ Jay repeated, but more sadly. ‘I can’t let you take the blame.’

  Priya sat down. ‘Send her away. Do it, Anish.’

  Laxmi stood her ground. ‘I’ve warned you about this, Anish. You haven’t gone far enough to reform the land revenue systems, nor have you agreed a fairer arrangement for land management. The people will rise up against us if we do nothing to help. You know the States Subject Conference is there purely to undermine the Princes.’

  Anish looked at his hands and fiddled with the rings he wore, at least two on each finger. Priya glared at him with a sourer face than you could imagine, and that made Eliza feel sorry for Anish. He was weak and his wife despised him for it. He was also incredibly effeminate, and Priya did not give the appearance of a satisfied woman.

  ‘You want the peasants to turn to the British instead of to us?’ Laxmi said.

  ‘Nonsense, mother. You’re getting worked up over nothing,’ Anish said. ‘And of course you weren’t to blame for the theft of the jewels. This is Jay’s responsibility, not yours.’

  Priya snorted, loudly enough for them all to hear, and then spoke. ‘So when will this so-called mortgage be repaid?’

  ‘We had to extend when the first British investors dropped out, but we have others on board and the papers are due to be signed in a few days’ time,’ Jay confirmed.

  ‘And how much do you owe?’

  Jay swallowed visibly. ‘Thousands, brother, thousands.’

  Anish spluttered. He had turned bright red and then, clutching his chest, he winced as if in pain. Laxmi took a step forward but Priya stopped her before speaking bitterly.