The Hustle (Irreparable #4)

by KJ Bell

  “No . . .” she kisses my cheek. “I make it okay by loving myself enough to tell him to pack his shit. By not loving a douche bag my obnoxiously over protective brothers can’t stand.” My sister is so much stronger than I ever gave her credit for. I hug her, promising to leave Harrison alone because it’s the right thing to do, and under the rage is the guy who’s trying. “Now where’s my nephew? I have a birthday gift for him.”

  She strolls away to the group of kids who welcome her, mostly because she has candy offerings. There’s a loud rumble at the table where Andrew sits.

  I make a face, looking at Tori. “Did he just . . .”

  “Shit? . . . Yep.” Tori laughs, smacking Brady on the shoulder. “And it’s your turn, dad.”

  “No way, it was my turn last time,” Brady argues.

  “Nice try,” she says, shoving him toward their son. He grumbles loudly until Little A gives him a smile that turns him to a pile of mush as he coo’s about how, “Daddy loves him more” and “Mommy’s a big meanie.”

  “Guess I should be grateful I missed the shitty diaper phase with Javier,” I say, taking a seat at one of the tables.

  “It’s not too late,” Tori says as she fills the seat next to me.

  That look on her face is the one I get every time she’s about to meddle in my life. So I do what I do every time, deflect with humor. “Uh . . . if the boy starts shitting his pants now, he’s going back. That kid can clog a toilet.”

  “Stop.” She laughs, shoving me in the arm. “You know what I mean.”

  I rub my face with my hands, attempting to wipe away the frustration. At every turn, this woman pushes me. “I don’t know, Tor.”

  “She hasn’t left yet.” The words sit between us for a moment as I refuse to fully accept them. As far as I knew, Peyton left yesterday and I fought going to her the entire day. I don’t think I have the strength to do it again. “She called me last night. She was getting new tires on her car to make the trip. It took longer than she expected and her car won’t be ready until four.”

  I release a long drawn-out sigh, keeping my head down. “Why are you telling me this?”

  “Aidan Hunter, you’re so incredibly thickheaded. Jesus, I can have a set of tires put on my car in a dozen places in a couple of hours and so could she. She called me because she knew I would tell you. She’s giving you one last goddamn chance to stop her and if you don’t do it then I may very well kick your ass myself.”

  “I . . .” I’m stunned and when I open my mouth to argue, laughter erupts from inside of me. I laugh until I nearly cry. I laugh until I feel something close to happiness and then I realize . . . I don’t want Peyton to go. I have a chance to really get to know her and not just because I want her to ease my pain or fill a void. But because I want to experience falling in love with her again for the first time.

  Telling Tori that crap about tires was pathetic, but sitting in my car at five after four, convincing myself Aidan only needs five more minutes is an all-time low. I have to be the most hopelessly desperate woman on the planet. I’ve given him three weeks, and not a single damn word, yet I’m clinging to this next five minutes like my last breath.

  Make that four minutes left while I sit in the driveway, staring at myself in the mirror on the visor as I try to think of another way to convince him to want me. The hum of the engine reminds me I’m wasting my time. That my future is in Shingle Springs with a man I’ve yet to meet. Someone normal, without a Dateline Exclusive past. A man who doesn’t hate himself and is willing to love me.

  The madness has to stop. I can’t keep torturing myself. Aidan isn’t coming.

  “You can’t hang on to the past.” My mother has said this to me a dozen times, but it’s only now I agree with her. Aidan’s stuck in a dark place, where he doesn’t wish to escape. I’ll never reach him. I can’t force him into the light and sitting in the car, rambling like a madwoman won’t change anything. For the sake of my own happiness, I have to move on.

  My hope finally transitions to anger as I shift into reverse. Relieving the built-up stress comes in the form of a scream as I slam my palms into the steering wheel. I mumble under my breath about being a loser and how foolish I am as I hit the gas.

  The sound of crunching metal echoes around me before I realize I hit something. My ears ring as I try to focus on what I see in the rearview mirror. I can’t decide if I’m thrilled or angry as I step out of the car.

  Aidan obviously isn’t hurt as he stands next to the mangled front end of his Porsche, but I have no idea what to expect when he finally speaks. His hands rake through his thick brown hair as he surveys the damage, grumbling profanities.

  Maybe I should speak first, but he did make me wait three long weeks. Three weeks that turned me into a woman distraught enough to back out of a driveway without looking because I was too busy talking to myself. He finally came for me and in a moment of crazy, I crashed into his car, which if it didn’t so utterly define our relationship, I’d be horrified about.

  As the sexy smirk I’ve come to adore crawls up the corner of his mouth, I don’t care what he says, as long as it’s not good-bye.

  “I’m so sorry,” I say, half laughing.

  “That pissed at me, huh?”

  His playful teasing gives nothing away because Aidan often uses humor to distract from things that make him uncomfortable. Like when he may need to tell a mentally unstable woman to take a hint and get lost. No matter what he’s here to say, I’ll keep myself together and be strong.

  “I didn’t exactly expect someone to be parked in front of my driveway.”

  “Really?” In the two seconds it takes him to close the gap between us, his expression transforms from humorous to dead serious. It takes everything in me to hold my ground and maintain his gaze, knowing there’s a chance he’s going to rip my heart out all over again. “Because I thought you were expecting me.”

  Actually I was begging and praying and groveling with every force in the universe for him to come, but . . . I wouldn’t say I expected him.

  “Yeah, well you’re late.”

  “Better late than never.”

  The little shit knows I’m not mad, but I still want to make him work a little harder to win me over. Like three weeks of genuine hell crammed into the next five minutes. But who am I kidding? Waiting five more minutes is only bound to drive me further insane. Maybe even land me in the nuthouse. “I guess that depends on why you’re here.”

  When his hand reaches up and caresses my cheek, I know he was worth every minute, every tear, and every restless night of sleep. And that I’d probably wait a lifetime for him.

  I hold his hand close to my cheek, closing my eyes as he says, “I’m here to take a risk.”

  “Better late than never,” Peyton mocks me before she lifts up on her tiptoes and plants a quick peck on my lips.

  It’s not a proper kiss for a reunion of this magnitude. And I make sure she knows it, by grabbing both sides of her face and holding tight as I bring her lips back to mine and kiss her long and deep until she’s panting for air. I take my time tasting her and relishing in the sensations rippling through my body as I finally give in to my feelings.

  Expressing how I feel with words would never convey my feelings for Peyton. All I can do is show her I’m ready to try by continuing to kiss her, while I massage her neck and back as if I can somehow force how I feel through her skin and into her heart. She attempts to pull away, but I hold her tight, not wanting the moment to end. Not wanting to look into her eyes and see how much I’ve hurt her.

  Her hands press flat against my chest, pushing until she finally breaks the kiss. “I had to come up for air,” she says, laughing.

  When I do look into her eyes, I don’t see a woman hurt and angry. I see something I’ve never seen before, not with Tori or Maria. Something unconditional; love and happiness and devotion, and all the things I don’t deserve from a woman I’ve toyed with. I’m just selfish enough to take what she wants to
give me because I want to feel straight again. It’s wrong . . . because I’m not sure I can ever love her the way she loves me.

  “You should’ve left.”

  Her head shakes frantically as her smile contorts to a gut-wrenching frown. “No . . . that last five minutes was all that was left in the time you needed.”

  “I’m here because I’m selfish, Peyton, not because I love you.”

  Her cheeks flame red as she recoils back. “Don’t . . . don’t revert to asshole status because you’re scared. You’re here because you want to love me or you’d never have come.”

  “But I don’t know if I can.”

  “I do . . . Okay?”

  There’s no way to stop myself from smiling. “Okay.” I nod as her satisfied smile nearly knocks me off my feet before she kisses me again. I break away, glancing around. “We should go inside because all I want to do is rip your clothes off and give the minivan-driving, soccer moms in your neighborhood something to gossip about.”

  She smiles and then I follow her up the driveway and into her place. The inside is completely empty, reminding me how close I came to losing her. I shake with nerves, considering I may lose her anyway when I tell her how I really feel. When she knows what happened to Maria may have completely ruined me.

  “I don’t want you to go,” I say with hesitancy. It should have been the first thing I said when I saw her, but instead I acted like a dick.

  Her eyebrow lifts as she sends me a flirty grin. “Okay.”

  I release a laugh with my next breath.

  “I’m sorry,” I begin, pausing a moment to breathe. She looks slightly worried and she should be. “I have a bad habit of fucking up.”

  “I’m aware.” She giggles, letting me know she’s teasing.

  “But I have Javier now and I can’t afford to mess shit up. Every decision I make from here on out has to be right. And this . . . I mean you . . .” Her expression saddens and I realize she thinks I’m here to say good-bye. “Hey let me finish.” She nods faintly. “You were the only choice I ever made that was right and I want to try to be the man you think I am.” The gorgeous smile she provides gives me the strength I need to continue. “I want what you want, but it’s going to be a fight. When I lost Maria, a big piece of me died with her.”

  She looks at me like she thinks I might bolt but then smiles, placing her small hand on my chest. “Then let me in and maybe we can find a new piece to fit.”

  I’m well aware that missing piece will never be replaced. But I refuse to say it to her right now. Instead I lower my head to look into her eyes. “I suck at communicating how I feel, so I’m going to kiss you now and when I do, I want you to feel me letting you in. I want you to feel that you’re the only woman I’ll ever let in.” I finish in a whisper and take her lips, delivering the promise I just made and praying she comprehends my sincerity.

  In mere seconds, we’re pulling at each other’s clothes, greedily wanting to satisfy the need that consumes us both. Once we’re naked, the desire to take my time kicks in. We’ve been apart for a long time. I want to learn every inch of her body all over again. Rushing won’t allow me to feel and I need to feel her, taste her and devour every inch of her. I need to disappear for a while from the weight of life, the responsibilities of fatherhood and all of my failures. More though, this is about Peyton. I want her to feel that whatever part of me is left belongs to her.

  Securing my hands on her hips stops her from touching me, which she responds by grumbling under her breath.

  “I want to see you,” I say taking a step back as my eyes slowly study the curves and points of her perfect body. Her tits, highlighted with tightly-budded pink nipples, makes my dick twitch and her creamy thighs beg to be touched.

  When I drop to my knees in front of her, her hands immediately tangle in my hair. I slowly caress her left thigh in between my hands, feeling her shiver. As my hand on her inner thigh rises, I enjoy the slight shaking of her body. Her desire wetting my fingertips causes my balls to tighten and my dick commands me to take action, but I won’t, not until I’ve made Peyton scream.

  “Spread your legs,” I command softly, pushing her thighs apart with my hands.

  She complies, inching her feet across the carpet until her legs are spread wide. I grip the backs of her thighs in my hands as I lower my head, inhaling the scent of her arousal. “I’ve missed you.” When I slip two fingers inside her, she clamps tight around me, letting out a wild cry as her head tilts back.

  I take my time, working my tongue slowly at first but gaining speed with the subtle commands of her body. Her clit twitches and her legs jerk every few seconds, but I don’t stop. I’m waiting for full-on convulsions, for the moment when she pulls my hair, screams my name, and surrenders to me.

  “Relax,” I coax, pushing my fingers in and out of her. “Let go, baby. Give in and give me what I want. Come for me and then I’ll know you’re mine.”

  “Oh, God.” Her breath stutters as her legs lock tight.

  I don’t give her long to ride out this wave of bliss before I lower her to the floor and bury myself inside of her. As I lift my head and get a good look at the lust raging in her gaze, I nearly lose control. There’s no mistaking how perfect we are together like this. As I move my hips, there’s no question how right she is for me. How she’s exactly who I should be with because she is the only woman capable of loving me despite my flaws. With each thrust, my breaths come out in loud groans. I’m intoxicated, the affair mind-numbing, and then it hits me.

  When I chose Maria . . . I chose wrong.

  It was always Peyton.

  I shake my head, because with the revelation comes guilt. I have to stay with Peyton in this moment before the consequences of my mistake consume me.

  Her moaning brings me back. My hand slips up the back of her smooth thigh until I’m palming her ass and pounding harder. I need her so much it’s painful.

  A year without sex is sure to make me come early, but knowing that doesn’t stop me from slowly moving and hitting the same spot inside of her that makes her back arch. We have all night and I’m not leaving this room until we’ve made up for lost time.

  As I settle over her, pushing deep and bringing my forehead to rest on hers, she closes her eyes. “Open your eyes. I need to see you when you come.”

  I need to see her eyes and see how she feels so I can feel it too.

  A whimper leaves her mouth as her jaw clenches tight, but her eyes stay focused on mine. Pressure mounts in my chest as I absorb the pure adoration I see reflecting back at me and I’m a fucking goner.

  Strong, muscled arms hold me as soft, delicious lips kiss my shoulder. I’ve waited so long for this, for him and it feels like a dream until he reminds me he’s really here. “I have rug burn on my knees and as much as I’d love to stay like this, I need food. And you have nothing here.”

  I lift my head, looking up at him. “Kinda your fault.”

  He grins and for the first time in a long time, I don’t see resistance in his eyes. He’s not fighting me or what just happened between us. I see contentment and that’s exactly what I feel. My only concern now is how long it will last once we leave my place and dive back into our lives. The last few hours hasn’t erased what he’s been through. He’ll fight again, but I’ll never let him win. I won’t let him go back. We move forward from here, even if I have to drag him kicking and screaming.

  Only an hour later, after renting a car and having ours towed to a repair shop, we are eating dinner at a restaurant near his loft. Aidan’s quiet, like he always is when he’s letting his thoughts run out of control.

  Knowing he’s thinking about Maria crushes my spirit, but I signed up for this. He told me being with him wouldn’t be easy. He needs me to be the strength that holds us up. And I will. I’ll restrain my insecurities and keep them buried deep inside until he’s strong enough to see them. Whatever it takes to make him whole again, I’ll do it. I would sacrifice anything for him.

  Smot
hering him every second of the day would be a mistake. He needs time with his thoughts and his son to heal and to continue accepting my place in his life. That it’s okay for him to love again. I want him to know how much I respect that there are parts of his life I don’t have a place in yet.

  With that in mind, I push my chair back and stand up. “I’m going to step outside and make a hotel reservation. It’ll probably be at least a week until the moving company gets my belongings back to me.”

  He stops mid-sip and sets his glass down. “Don’t.”

  His voice carries and I feel eyes on me from patrons around us. “Don’t what?” I ask quietly, leaning forward over the table.

  The vein in his temple throbs and I can’t understand what I did wrong. “I have enough doubt for the both of us, so don’t make assumptions.”

  “I was just going to call a hotel.”

  “No, you assumed it was best you call a hotel. But you didn’t ask what I thought.”

  I laugh, which probably isn’t wise given the harsh tone of his voice, but I can’t help it. We’re not exactly a sit down and share our feelings kind of couple. Hell, we aren’t even a couple.

  “I don’t see what’s so funny.” He tries hard to contain his smile but one pushes through as a small laugh bursts through his curved lips.

  “Neither one of us knows what the hell we’re doing.”

  In the instant it takes him to hear me, his face contorts to frustration and his hands rake through his hair. “I know exactly what I’m doing, angel, so park your sweet ass in the chair and listen to me. You’re not staying in a hotel. You’re staying with me.”

  “You don’t get to order me around,” I snap at him. His eyes narrow at my tone and I try not to laugh again. When he doesn’t smile, I reluctantly sit down. “I mean it. Just because I care about you doesn’t mean you can treat me like I’m a toy . . . like . . .”

  “Don’t say it,” he growls, his hand clawing at the tablecloth. “I know exactly who you are. You’re mine and don’t ever think I don’t know that. Don’t ever assume I think you’re anything like the other women I’ve fucked. You’re different and you always have been. You’re with me and I want you to stay with me.” His brown eyes hold my attention as they plead with me to hear the promises he’s making. It’s not forever, but it’s right now and that’s all I can ask for. “And not because I ordered you to, but because you want to. Will you stay with me?”