I’d realized these past weeks how much of myself I’d been hiding. I was a man who enjoyed the company of both men and women. When I was with a lady, nobody batted an eye, not even my pop. Because it was considered normal.
No guy had ever really kept my interest for long, not outside of mutual attraction or sex. Not like how Smoke had captured me—heart and soul. He was the first man—the first person—I could actually envision a future with. One whom I desperately wanted as part of my life on a daily basis, and that thought alone was making me feel restless and twitchy.
Not because it would be denying or quieting that other part of myself. My attraction to women would always remain. Didn’t mean I needed or wanted to screw them all. It meant that from out of the fire that burned deep in my core, Smoke turned out to be the darkest flame. Just one look and he utterly consumed me.
But now more than ever I was faced with exposing the part of myself that might change how others viewed me. It wasn’t so much that I was scared, because fuck, I could clearly take care of myself. Even my pop would come around eventually, I hoped.
It was that I felt a sense of responsibility to these men who were keeping me safe. I wasn’t being up front with them, but here I was, sitting in their house—eating their food, drinking their beer—and they didn’t even know the real reason why they were providing me a safe harbor.
“You good, Vaughn?” I heard a familiar feminine voice over my shoulder. Already Melanie had sought me out.
“Yeah, how about yourself?” She handed me a beer and I accepted it gratefully, since I hadn’t yet reached for one in the cooler.
I certainly didn’t want a repeat of our last time in the back bedroom, so I simply smiled politely, then turned my attention to the recruit who had sat down next to me.
Felix lived below Smoke, and from what I could tell, they seemed to be pretty tight. But I couldn’t say I’d ever had a real conversation with the man outside of the bar.
Melanie patted my shoulder and then took a seat on the other side of me to speak with one of the ladies across the table. When I knew for certain she was engaged in the other conversation, I again turned my attention to Felix. “You seen anything out there on patrol?”
He looked over his shoulder to gauge whether or not anybody was listening. “I saw someone poking around in your lot last night. I gave chase but he got away.”
My back went rigid. Had Jake broken into my apartment for a third time? At this point, I felt like torching the place down and starting over from scratch. I didn’t know how I was going to feel comfortable enough to make a life there for myself again.
“Think he got inside?” I asked, almost afraid of the answer. Nothing that was left there was valuable to me. It was more the intent that boiled my blood.
“Pretty unlikely,” he said. “Looked like he was just pulling in. By the time I got around the corner, he’d already heard my motor and gunned it out of there.”
“What would’ve happened had you caught up to him?” I asked real low, so nobody grasped onto our conversation.
Felix’s dark brown eyes bored into mine as if he was debating whether or not to share the plain truth. “I’d bring him to Mal.”
The statement was simple, but also held a hint of danger and intrigue. It reminded me whom I was dealing with here. The Disciples might have been having a barbeque on their spacious property in the country, but they never let down their guard.
“And then what?” I muttered. “He brings his own form of justice?”
He shifted his weight to turn toward me. As if to school me on the politics of biker clubs. “Mal believes in having proof and until he sees it for himself, he’s not going to take out another club member on speculation alone.”
My stomach rumbled thinking about just how Jake would’ve been taken out. Still, Mal was a smart and sound leader. I sipped from my beer to cover my hesitancy. “Sound decision.”
Felix’s gaze followed mine to Smoke on the back lawn. He had his arm around one of the biker babes and though I kept my features neutral, for a moment I thought I had been busted. My mouth opened to make some kind of flippant remark about him getting laid. But Felix beat me to the punch.
“You’ve been a sport about all of this.”
“It’s no real hardship,” I said after dragging my lips away from the bottle. “Smoke’s a good guy letting me stay at his place.”
“That he is,” he said and then wiggled his eyebrows as the girl whispered something in Smoke’s ear. “If he keeps you up tonight, hope he makes it up to you somehow.”
I laughed and nearly choked on another swig, hoping the acid sloshing around in my stomach didn’t come up my throat. It looked like Felix wanted to say something else, but he held himself back.
The girl kissed Smoke’s cheek, and I felt a pang of jealousy flare up. Smoke’s head drew back, and his fiery gaze connected so solidly with mine that right then I knew with crystal clear certainty that he wouldn’t be going home with anybody else but me. Thump. Thump. Thump.
This was for show, and I had to be okay with that, for now, so I focused my eyes on the grill, where Jonas was lip-locked with his old lady.
Felix made a noise in the back of his throat as the backyard grew eerily silent. A couple of Scorpions had showed up, proudly wearing their leather cuts and bandanas. I recognized only Fish, who stood with two of his men flanked on either side.
The quiet continued to draw out until Mal strode from the back table, where he had been holding court with some ladies.
“Welcome,” he hollered by way of greeting, lifting his beer bottle.
Like a skipped record that had been placed back on track, the noise rushed back in again, and some of the Disciples stepped forward to greet the newcomers. I watched as Felix sauntered over to clap one of the club members on the back. Fish stood talking to Mal.
The dude on the other side of Fish made eye contact with me and held steady. Then his gaze traveled down my torso, as if he were checking me out, maybe even eye-fucking me. Either that or I was losing it. I felt a delicate hand on my thigh and realized that Melanie had turned toward me. I resisted pulling away lest this guy see straight through me. I had zero interest in Melanie, let alone any other woman or man. I only had eyes for one person at this party.
Next thing I knew, Smoke had materialized directly in front of me, as if he had read my thoughts or was attempting to block the guy’s view.
“Hey, Vaughn,” he said nervously, which was so unlike him. “Any more of those brews left in the cooler?”
“Uh,” I said, nearly struck dumb, because it sounded like a fake conversation. Smoke didn’t even drink alcohol. I looked over at Melanie, who had been the one to grab the beer in the first place, and raised my bottle.
“I’m not sure,” she said. “But I’d be happy to check for you.”
“Thanks, honey,” Smoke said as she sashayed by him. His gaze immediately fell back to mine again.
“Who is that?” I asked, knowing he’d understand full well whom I was referring to.
“One of Fish’s recruits,” he said. “Guy by the name of Sawyer.”
“You think he suspects something?” I said low and steady.
“He always eyeballs me when I’m there, makes me nervous,” he said. “Don’t know what he’s playing at or if he’s only feeling us out, seeing who might be interested, if you know what I mean.”
“Sure seems that way to me.” I avoided looking in his direction again so he didn’t figure out we were talking about him.
“But tonight it seems like he’s checking you out,” Smoke said through gritted teeth. “And I don’t like it.”
Hearing the jealousy in his voice made the blood thrum wildly in my veins.
“Why would he be so obvious about it?” I asked.
“Is it really noticeable to anybody else, though?”
I looked around the crowd, most of whom were either well on their way to being smashed or completely unaware of us at the moment.
“I guess not.”
A large hand clapped Smoke’s back, and he flinched. It was Fish. “Hey, Smoke, you having a good time?”
“Yeah, for sure,” he said, shaking Fish’s hand. The guy who’d been eye-fucking me earlier suddenly had an entrance, and he sidled up next to Fish.
“I haven’t met you before,” he said, reaching out his hand. “I’m Sawyer.”
I stretched my arm, and his clammy palm clasped onto mine. “Vaughn.”
“You manage the Hog’s Den, right?” His hand lingered on mine, and even from my side view, I could see the vein in Smoke’s temple throbbing.
“Right,” I said, sliding my fingers away and swigging my beer.
He looked around at his boss, who was busy talking to Felix.
He cocked an eyebrow. “Anyone single at this party or is everybody taken?”
I clenched my jaw tight to prevent a reaction as he blatantly stared me down. Holy fuck was that a forward move.
“Who exactly do you have your eye on?” Smoke said through a clenched jaw.
“I’m single, honey,” Melanie said, stepping forward with Smoke’s beer. For the first time tonight, I was relieved to see her.
“Are you now, sugar?’ Sawyer drawled and then thumped me on the shoulder. “I figured you were with Vaughn here.”
“I’m not with anybody,” she said and then looked pointedly at me. “Isn’t that right, baby?”
Sawyer looked between the two of us. “Maybe Vaughn wanted you for himself tonight?”
I found it hard to swallow. Smoke’s gaze burned into me, but I couldn’t meet his eyes.
“We made no plans,” Melanie said, running a finger down Sawyer’s arm. “But he can join us if he wants.”
Sawyer’s eyes latched onto mine as if silently pleading with me to accept the offer. And maybe any other time I would’ve. But not when the man I desperately wanted to be with was standing right beside him. And I couldn’t even let the world know.
I wanted to grab Smoke by the neck and haul him toward me, kiss him hard, and ask him to take me home. The tension coiled around us like a lasso, and I felt the hairs on my arms rise as his elbow brushed innocently against mine.
“Nah, not tonight.” I attempted to look natural when I was strung so damn tight, he could’ve played me like a fiddle. “You guys enjoy yourselves.”
I turned away and walked back inside the compound, tucking my shaking hands inside my pockets.
I’d been propositioned by guys before, but not in this environment. I wasn’t sure what the hell was happening, but something felt way off. It was as if the world had gone and turned itself upside down.
I stayed inside for a bit, shooting the breeze with a couple other Disciples, and Smoke smartly chose not to follow. I wasn’t sure what ended up happening between Melanie and Sawyer, but after another hour, I texted Smoke that I was taking off.
Smoke: About fucking time. Right behind you.
Chapter Twenty-eight
Smoke
Vaughn was barely inside the door before I was caging him against the wall. “I want you to fuck me.”
I felt his cock tighten in his pants as my lips stroked against his. “Does this have anything to do with the proposition I received tonight?”
“Maybe, maybe not. Does it really matter?” I asked, my lips pressed against his neck. “Point is, I’m not sure how much time I’ve got with you. It kills me to think of you topping some other guy, and I…”
“You what?” he said, shoving at my shoulders in frustration, but I refused to budge. I didn’t want to be away from him for even one moment longer. “I already told you, I’ll take what I can get.”
“I want you to own me,” I said, biting at a patch of skin at the hollow of his throat, and I felt him shiver. “I need to feel you inside me, in case…”
“What?” Vaughn said, challenging me again. He doubted whether I was thinking clearly. He didn’t want me to have any regrets. Little did he realize I’d never been more sure. “You don’t have to prove anything to me.”
“You need me to spell it out?” I asked, thrusting my hips against his groin, showing him how fucking much I needed him. “I’ve never felt this way before, okay? So consumed by somebody. Like I want to—”
He waited me out, his gaze scorching into mine. I saw the same thing reflected back at me, so I knew I was safe to tell him how I felt. I’d tell him even if I were still uncertain of his feelings. I was tired of holding it all inside.
I grasped at his face and then gentled my mouth against his lips. “Fuck, Vaughn, I feel like I want you here with me always. I…I’m in love with you.”
His entire body pulled taut as a fishing line and for a split second, I thought I had said the wrong thing.
Until he growled and flipped me around, shoving me hard against the wall. “Jesus fuck, Reed. That’s all I’ve been feeling for days on end.”
My heart clawed its way up my throat as I gaped at him. He had my hand locked above my head, and all I wanted to do was submit to him. Get down on my knees and worship him.
“Goddamn it,” he said, his lips raining kisses over my chin, my cheeks, and each of my eyelids, while I tried governing my runaway breaths. “I’m head over heels for you, man. I don’t want to be with anybody else. You’re it for me.”
My heart nearly exploded out of my chest as I clutched at his neck and crashed my mouth against his. My fingertips pressed against the pulse at his neck, which was fluttering as erratically as mine.
We left a trail of clothing in the hallway leading to the bed. I was trembling with untapped energy but also undeniable panic. I was finally allowing somebody inside. Somebody I was in love with.
Fuck, I was in so deep with him. And I’d just told him so.
Vaughn pressed me facedown on the bed and his lips were everywhere. On my ear and neck, shoulders and back, licking and biting and marking me. Making me his. And fuck, that was all I wanted right then. To be his, only his.
I squashed down that little voice in the back of my head urging me to fight back, to force him off me. But this was Vaughn. He wasn’t going to mistreat me. He’d even stop if I asked him to.
When I angled my head, he took my mouth, and we warred it out with our tongues. His fingers clutched the back of my neck and he tugged at my hair, commanding the kiss, taking what he wanted. Then he reached for the lube, and within a few seconds his finger was pushing at my hole.
I immediately tensed, and his gaze shot to mine. His finger slid out of me, almost remorsefully. But I gripped the sheet in front of me. “No. Please. Again.”
I felt him exhale against my back. I didn’t want him to give up so easily.
First one finger, then two. He was inside me, and I was pushing back against his hand. As he scissored his digits back and forth, the span felt uncomfortable and sucked the breath right out of me.
In another minute, the muscle loosened as if from memory, and the pain transformed to ripples of pleasure.
He nudged my shoulder to the mattress, his lips on the small of my back, while his fingers curved upward and worked their magic. “Tell me you want this, Reed.”
Vaughn using my real name during sex gave my heart a jolt. I looked back at him as my hips continued moving against his hand. “Fuck yes. I need you now.”
When he ripped open the condom wrapper, I stilled, but my cock was throbbing against the mattress. His hips tentatively slid against mine, his large cock gently prodding at my crease, and I held my breath.
“Just do it,” I bit out, unsure of why he was hesitating.
“When I’m good and ready,” he grunted and grasped at my jaw, planting a bruising kiss on my nape. Letting me know exactly who was in charge. He was essentially telling me to give up control, and I was more than ready to hand it all to him.
“You got it, Boss,” I said. He stiffened and let out a deep growl. The last time I’d called him that was our first day together behind the bar. He slid his broad cock down the crack of my
ass and barely breeched my snug hole.
“Fuck,” I shouted, and I heard a gurgled response as his fingers clamped hard around my hips. He became motionless as he rested his head against my shoulder blade, and I could feel the warm air releasing from his lips.
“You okay?” he whispered, as if afraid even to move a muscle. Vaughn’s cock felt fucking huge, and it stung like hell, but I nodded anyway, because I remembered what was yet to come.
As I became adjusted to his girth, he drove forward another inch, and there it was, the pleasure-pain that I once seemed to crave.
Before other shit ruined the experience for me.
“Uuuuhhhh, you’re so damn tight,” he said, and he thrust further inside. “Goddamn, that’s—”
I fisted the covers because the sensation was too much for my brain to handle. I moaned and swayed my hips, nearly toppling to the side and hunching in a ball. His arm reached down to hook around my abdomen and he kept me tucked up against him.
He kissed my shoulder, bit it on a growl, and then began moving. Shallow stabs at first, but enough to make me shudder and sweat.
“Damn, it’s good,” he said. “So fucking good. Like nothing else.”
His talking had always been arousing, but while he was buried balls-deep inside me? Amazingly fucking hot.
“Come on, Vaughn, give me more of that incredible cock,” I said, driving back into his length. “I can take it.”
His hands grabbed onto my ass cheeks and squeezed as if my challenge had provided him a renewed energy. His hips propelled haphazardly against me, and thrust after thrust sent me spiraling higher. My balls began tingling, and I sank down on my forearms, groaning long and low.
His chest dropped against my back. It felt so nice to have his skin next to mine, like we were one unit, working toward the same satisfying goal.
“Fuck, Reed, I can’t even—” He slowed his hips and laid sloppy kisses on my shoulder and neck. “Turn over. Now.”
The Darkest Flame Page 17