A Friendly Arrangement

  Holly had felt nothing but love and support. And she needed their strength.

  And now here she sat. Thursday morning. Alone, but okay.

  The fog she’d been under had lifted to be replaced by a simmering anger. How could Roth have not bothered to come over, call, or at least text?

  She understood he needed time to mull things over. A day or two should have been enough to come to terms with the fact he was going to be a father, whether he liked it or not. But he’d had close to five.

  A rush of desperation caught in her throat. She wanted them to do this together. She needed him. Didn’t he understand she was afraid, too? Damn it, Holly Haggerty. You can’t make someone into what they’re not. Just like you can’t make someone love you.

  If he didn’t want to be a part of her life—their baby’s life—then so be it. She couldn’t handle any more of this roller-coaster ride of emotions. She had to get her life in order. Good things were going to come her way, and this morning had been proof. She’d already received a phone call that had started her day on the right note.

  After several email exchanges and a couple of phone conversations, Brooke’s contact from the west coast had finally offered her a position as his virtual assistant. His timing couldn’t have been any better. Her personal life might be in turmoil, but her career had taken a turn for the good.

  She flipped open her laptop and clicked on her email. The contract she’d sent off less than two hours ago was already in her inbox and electronically dated and signed.

  As for the nine-to-five job, they’d seemed to like her, but she hadn’t heard back from them. If she could get one more virtual client, she wouldn’t have to look for that traditional job any longer.

  Even though she tried to keep Roth out of her head, her ears were in tune to every sound that came from across the hall.

  She sucked in a breath when she heard voices and then a feminine laugh outside her door. Unable to stop, she pressed her eye to the peephole and instantly wished she hadn’t. Not only were her actions a bit stalkerish—and she hated that—but the sight that met her eyes burned a hole into her heart.

  Roth had a beautiful, dark-haired woman gazing up at him with the biggest smile Holly had ever seen. Then he smiled down at the woman. The affection on his face was evident in his soft smile and bright eyes. Holly pressed her hand to her throat, swallowing down a sob as he touched the other woman gently on the back and ushered her through his door.

  Her heart pinched at the idea he’d moved on so quickly. Not even a week and he already had a new woman coming to his home. Was he cooking her dinner? Designing her a piece of a jewelry? Would they make love in Roth’s bed? The same bed Holly had…

  Stop it!

  He had made his decision. If he’d found a new woman, then that definitely gave her the message he wanted no part of what they’d had.

  She rested her forehead against the door and closed her eyes. She would not cry. No more tears allowed. But damn if the tears didn’t burst through. The dam busted and her shoulders shook as she sank against the door, pressing the side of her face into the wood. Her chest constricted. She couldn’t breathe. Her heart raced, then stalled, then raced again.

  She slid to the floor, a complete wreck as she cried so many tears she didn’t know how her body hadn’t pruned up from lack of moisture.

  Her phone on the counter vibrated across the surface and pulled her out of her misery. She stumbled toward the counter and forced herself to smile when Susie’s name appeared on the screen. She didn’t want to give any of her family the idea they needed to rush to her side.

  “Hello.” Holly amazed herself with how normal she sounded.

  “You sound good,” Susie said. “I’m just calling to check in on you. You know, using my rights as your sister-in-law to make a nuisance of myself.”

  Holly chuckled, amazed a second time that she sounded so upbeat. “You’re never a nuisance.”

  “Pest?”

  “Nope.”

  “Whew, that’s good. Anyway, how are you doing? Andrew told me that you got a new job. Did that publishing house call?” Susie’s dog barked in the background, and then the sounds of a dog dish being filled with dry food echoed across the receiver.

  “I haven’t heard back from them, but I did get a new virtual client who lives on the west coast.”

  Silence settled across the line. Holly hoped she wouldn’t get a lecture from Susie about finding a real job, too. After seeing Roth with that woman, she didn’t know how much more she could take before she curled up into a ball in the corner and stayed there.

  “You always amaze me, Holly. If you ever decide to take on an employee, I mean, if you ever have so many clients you think you need someone, I’d love to work with you. It’d be nice to make a little money while I’m home with Eric. I’ve been telling Andrew that if I worked a day or two a week we could put that money toward the cottage.”

  Holly could hardly believe her ears. For a moment all the pounding in her head clamored into the distance. “You’d work with me?”

  “You betcha. Why not?”

  “I thought you’d be like Andrew, Dad, Mom…”

  Susie laughed, and the sound was music to Holly’s ears.

  “I love Andrew, but your business is a subject we always manage to butt heads about. I admire that you’ve gone your own way and are making it work. You’re an entrepreneur, and I respect that. As a matter of fact, Holly, I know Andrew does, too. We’re proud of you.”

  Holly could feel her face heat. “I don’t know about that. I get a lot of —”

  “I know. I’ve nagged Andrew about that several times. It’s just because everyone worries about you. You’re alone, running your own business, living away from everyone…”

  “And I’m okay.”

  “I know that. We know that. Just give your parents time. I think with the news of the baby, they’ll see how responsible you really are. They’ll see that you can take care of yourself. That you are taking care of yourself. You know, just this past weekend your dad was talking about your accomplishments. How driven and determined you are.”

  “He was?” Holly sagged against the counter, her smile now genuine.

  “He was. I even teased him that maybe next time he should brag about you when you were actually there to hear it.”

  Holly laughed. Susie echoed the same thing Roth had said weeks ago. It was nice to hear that her family took pride in her. And understandable that they worried. “I needed to hear that, Suze. Thanks. And if you’re serious about working with me, I will definitely take you up on that when I’m ready. I’d hoped to add at least one employee this year. I’d love working with you.”

  “That’d be awesome. I think we’d—”

  Holly’s ears perked up at the sound of voices in the hallway again. This time it sounded like there were several people. She didn’t want to look again. She couldn’t bear seeing Roth looking at the other woman like he had earlier. Like he used to look at her when she had his full attention.

  Jealousy isn’t very becoming.

  If he and his new woman were going to be in and out throughout the weekend, or entertaining friends, Holly would prefer not to witness it. Or hear it. She might have her outer shield in place and could feign strength, but inside her emotions were broken and scrambled.

  “Hey, if I offer my services at the cottage, would you let me stay again for a few days? You have any more knobs that need to be put on cupboards?” Her chest ached. She needed to get out of here. To think. Make some decisions that needed to be taken care of.

  “No little jobs I can think of, but you can head up there anytime.”

  “Thank you. I really need to get away for a bit,” Holly said. No time like the present. She might as well make a mad dash before Roth and his party returned. She stubbed her toe in her hurry to get to the bedroom. As she pulled her suitcase from the top shelf of her closet, the comic book Grams had brought her fell at her feet.

  Justice L
eague #12. The comic you’d planned to give Roth. She fingered the pages lightly and turned the first few. Tears blurred her vision. She might be in total confusion in regard to Roth, but in her heart she wanted him to have this. She’d intended to give it to him, and she still would, because she loved him. And the memory of that night when they’d been superheroes still made her smile.

  Before she left to head to the big lake, she’d drop off her key to his apartment along with the comic book. She would no longer need access to his home. No more plants to water, late-night talks, dinners, movies—or lovemaking.

  She swallowed hard when Susie’s chuckle broke through her thoughts.

  “I’ll warn you, though. Andrew has been heading up after work the last couple of days to paint the loft. I know how he operates; there’ll be paint cans, brushes, and rags strewn all over.”

  Holly blinked several times, forcing a smile into her voice as she tossed a pair of jeans and then a couple of tees into the case. “How about I’ll pick up after my brother in exchange for room and board?”

  “You don’t have to do that. Relax. Be lazy and enjoy a bit of time away. I’ll make sure to let Andrew know you’ll be staying there so that if he drops in you don’t surprise him.” Susie’s bubbly laughter erupted across the phone. “Of course, it might be fun to freak him out a little.”

  “You’re bad. But in a good way.”

  “I know.”

  Holly cleared her throat. “Thanks again, Suze. I do need to get away.” More than you can imagine. The idea of Roth and that other woman ate at her gut. She couldn’t bear hearing their laughter, voices, wondering what they were up to, and wondering who she was and how Roth had met her…

  Stop it!

  “You sure you’re okay? Would you like Eric and me to join you? A little company might do you good.”

  “I don’t want to be rude but—”

  “Say no more. You want to be alone. I get that. But if you do change your mind, I’m only a phone call away.”

  “I know.”

  Silence settled across the line until Susie took a big breath. “For what it’s worth, Holly, I’m sure he’ll come around. Give him a little more time.”

  How much time should I give him? He’s already had more time than I had. Instead she pursed her lips and mumbled, “I know.” She had no desire to have this conversation with anyone right now.

  “Well, I’ll let you pack. You know where the key is. And Holl…”

  “Hmm.” She scooped an armful of undergarments from her drawer and tossed them into the case. Who cared if she had fifteen bras and only two pair of underwear? She’d figure it out when she got there.

  “I love you, girl. We all love you. Stay strong.”

  “Love you, too.”

  Holly hopped off the old green Schwinn bicycle and walked it the last few feet to the ice cream shop. She leaned it up against the side of the building because the kickstand had broken off years ago. The morning might be chilly with the lake breeze caressing the sleepy tourist town, but it was never too early for ice cream. Or too cold.

  She squinted across the quiet street to peer at the town clock. Barely seven o’clock, but Mandy always opened the shop around six, because she also acted as the local coffeehouse.

  Holly had been at the cottage for two days and had come to some decisions that had surprised even herself and made her feel more focused and lighthearted.

  The first being that she had to sell her condo. Good thing the units in her building were in high demand. At least according to her mom. Having a Realtor in the family had its upside. More than likely, she’d have an offer as soon as she listed it. That was one of the perks of the city having limited housing. She needed a bigger place, maybe closer to her family, and definitely away from Roth. She couldn’t torture herself by living across the hall from him when they couldn’t even manage a conversation.

  And she definitely couldn’t watch another woman in his life. She’d had a hard time getting the picture of him and the dark-haired woman out of her mind.

  The tension would only increase between them as time went on. That wouldn’t be healthy for any of them. Especially her baby. She touched her tummy as she rounded the tiny ice cream shop and held her other hand above her eyes to ward off the reflection of the sun coming off the smooth water. The last few days she’d developed a habit of rubbing her still-flat stomach whenever she thought about a baby. Her baby.

  Funny how she’d never wanted to be traditional, and she’d gotten her wish. She’d be a single mom, making a life on her own for herself and her baby. You couldn’t get much more untraditional than that.

  At least you have the amazing support of your family.

  Things could be worse, but at the same time—no matter how much turmoil spun around in her life—they couldn’t get much better. At least that was the mood she’d settled on for today.

  She walked up to the window with a determined spring in her step.

  Mandy slid the glass to the side and smiled. “Morning. Want your usual soft-serve?”

  Holly shook her head. She liked that they knew her. That she already had a “usual.” “Nope. I’m going to switch things up. What flavors do you have in the hand-dipped ice creams?” She scanned all the signs and posters dotting the windows of the shop. There were so many it’d take her the entire morning to learn all they offered.

  “Only four flavors. Chocolate, strawberry, rocky road, and salted caramel.” Mandy leaned out the window, her ponytail falling forward off her shoulder, and pointed to a small hand-printed square sign to the right of her window.

  “I’ll have a double scoop plain cone with chocolate, please.”

  “Coming right up.” She gave Holly the total and then yelled out her order to the girl in the rear of the shop.

  Holly paid for the treat and stuffed a dollar bill in the tip jar. In what seemed like lightning speed Mandy slid the window open again and held out a double-decker ice cream cone.

  “Thanks.” Mandy shot Holly a wink as she took the cone.

  “No. Thank you.” The window had barely closed again when Holly traced her tongue around the edge of the ice cream where it met the cone.

  Leaving her bike propped against the shop, she walked around the back and headed to the shoreline. She stuffed her flip-flops into the back pocket of her jeans so she could dig her toes into the cool sand. The gray fog lifted off the water in the distance, and only a few people were out and about.

  Two pregnant women strolled her way from the other direction. They walked fast and pumped their arms, talking and laughing as they approached. Each of them eyed Holly’s ice cream cone, and they all shared a conspiratorial grin. Holly pressed her palm to her stomach as she licked her ice cream. How much longer before she felt movement? When would she have to invest in maternity pants?

  The future suddenly seemed bright and exciting, even on this dreary morning. So many changes. Too bad she’d be experiencing them without Roth. God, she missed him. Would she ever not miss him? Would life ever feel “normal” again?

  His touch. His smell. His laugh. His sexy, deep voice. All things that played out over and over in her mind. Yes, she wanted a father for her baby, but she wanted Roth for herself. She hadn’t believed in love before, but now she knew there really were soul mates. And Roth was hers.

  She trudged across the beach, determined to stay in high spirits, pushing against the wind as she headed uphill toward the boardwalk. She had to remain upbeat. It’d be healthy for the baby. For her. As the sun rose farther in the sky, more people seemed to come out of nowhere, walking along the beach or on the boardwalk—most in pairs—and a few solo runners huffed on the sidewalk across the two-lane street filled with tiny tourist shops offering T-shirts, trinkets, and kites. Farther down the beach another pregnant woman sat on a bench with a small dog perched on her lap, enjoying the cool morning breeze as they both looked over the water.

  Holly found her own bench and plopped down on the edge. She’d gotten
to the part of her treat that was all cone, and she took a crunchy bite, chewing as she continued to people-watch.

  How come everywhere she went the last few days it seemed everyone was pregnant? The grocery store, the bank, and now the beach. She’d never noticed so many pregnant women before, but then, she’d never paid much attention. Or been in the position where it would be normal to notice. She felt more connected, as if she were a member of a secret club.

  She smiled as she took another large bite of her cone and chewed, making eye contact with the pregnant lady on the bench with her dog. They shared a smile, and Holly popped the last of her cone into her mouth.

  If only Roth were here. If only he’d loved her—them—enough to take a chance.

  For the first time since she learned of her pregnancy, a surge of protectiveness blanketed her because of the miracle growing in her belly. She rubbed her tummy, closing her eyes.

  “I don’t know you, little baby, but I already love you,” she whispered to the morning breeze.

  She’d always rolled her eyes when her mother and Grams talked about Mia, Susie, and Hailey having a pregnancy glow. Now she understood. Even though her heart cracked and ached every time she thought about Roth, she felt lit up from the inside; a glossy sheen of hope, excitement, and love bounced off her. A love for a little baby that was probably the size of a bean growing inside of her.

  What would life hold for them?

  With a suddenness that had her sitting back on the bench and looking up at the gray-blue sky, Holly knew she wanted to be a mom. With every fiber in her being, it felt right. How had she ever imagined she could give up her child for adoption? She wanted this little person in her life more than she wanted to breathe. Even if Roth wouldn’t be by her side. Even if life would be a struggle. She could do this alone.

  You will do it alone, girl.

  She wouldn’t wait around for him forever, but she’d never deny him his child if one day he decided he wanted to connect. Holly crossed her fingers and sent up a silent prayer that he would. That he wouldn’t miss out on this miracle. Since when have you gotten so sappy? She laughed into the wind tousling her hair.