At the Highways of Madness

by West, David J.

  “Your precious tarps are fine. Besides, that thing is invulnerable, you saw what it did to the tree. Now those Nazis won’t have any idea on our identities.”

  The Squid shook his head. “You seriously think they can’t piece any of this together. About who was driving tonight? Maybe they call all the dispatch offices? Or ask that nose picking waitress who was there tonight?”

  “No, dude, we are talking government employees here. They can’t be bothered with that.”

  “I hope you’re right.”

  Ogre laughed and said, “I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it.” He then stared at The Squid for a long moment. “Well?”

  “Well what?”

  “Who said that?”

  “You did.”

  “No, I mean who said it first? Who am I quoting?”

  “I’m not playing your games Ogre,” said The Squid, before he took a swig from a Mickey Big Mouth.

  “Who said it?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Come on, its important.”

  The Squid shook his head. “I don’t know, man. Socrates?”

  “Ha! No. Our Savior, FDR. He won us the big one.”

  “Whatever.”

  “Do you not know the 33rd degree President?”

  “I know who FDR is, I just disagree OK?”

  “Really?” asked Ogre, with genuine shock.

  The Squid shook his head. “So what are we really doing?”

  “We’re taking it to my brother’s, he lives somewhere just southwest of Durango. We’ll drop it off and you can still make it to Denver for the baby’s delivery.”

  The Squid wiped his face and held back a retort. “We’re finding out if she is pregnant not due, that’s it. But I’m talking about the thing. We’re taking who-knows-what’s-in-there, to the four corners? I mean what if there’s something bad in there? Did you see Andromeda Strain?”

  “Don’t make fun. That was based on a true story, Squid.”

  “I’m not making fun. I’m seriously asking the important questions and you’re giving me bullshit quotes you don’t know the real answer to and we might be transporting some diseased alien to your brother’s place.”

  Ogre nodded and looked out the window. “Yeah, can we just be cool about this please? Just drive.”

  4. Living After Midnight

  A pink dawn rose behind the Oquirrh mountains just as The Squid reached the Tooele exit. “This can’t be right. What the hell man?”

  Ogre jostled in his seat and woke up. “What?”

  The Squid smacked his dashboard. “I’m almost out of fuel.”

  “Yeah?”

  “I fueled up at the Flying K, your U.N. Stop and Shop. That was a hundred miles ago.”

  “Did your tank get hit too?”

  “I don’t think so. I looked when I strapped down the craft, but that’s not what is really bugging me.”

  “What?” asked Ogre, as he adjusted his ball cap and shades.

  “It’s dawn.”

  “So,” asked Ogre, wiping at his eyes.

  “So? We picked up that thing just after midnight.”

  “Yeah, where you going with this Squid?”

  The Squid pointed at the brightening east. “It’s morning! And we’ve been driving all night and we are only getting to Toolly.”

  Ogre slapped himself in the face a couple times. “Okay. Draw me a picture. What are you saying?”

  “I’m saying, Ogre, that we drove all night to get maybe eighty miles. It took us like eight hours.”

  “I could’a sworn you were doing more than ten miles an hour. What happened?”

  “I was doing more than ten miles an hour! I’ve been doing damn near ninety. This trip takes just over an hour. It should not be morning.”

  Ogre shrugged. “Missing time, dude. I’ve read about this.”

  “Lotta good that does me. What the hell happened?” The Squid pulled off the exit and pulled into the truck stop. He hopped out of the cab and put on his sunglasses. He then went to inspect the rear of his truck and trailer. Looking at his trailer he threw up his hands and cursed, “Son of a bitch!”

  “What?” asked Ogre, jumping out.

  “Not only did we lose a whole night and full gas tank, we lost the damn UFO!”

  The tarps and straps were still there but the craft was gone. “This is some Twilight Zone shit, Squid.” Ogre pulled at a tarp and strap which were still secure. “Cheer up Squid, on the bright side, no Feds can say we took anything extra-terrestrial last night. No evidence. No body. No case.”

  “I’d think after everything we’ve been through last night; you’d be a little more upset. What about doing all this for your Mom’s cancer?”

  “My Mom doesn’t have cancer. Wasn’t this mostly your idea?”

  “My idea?” shouted The Squid. “Oh, that’s just great.”

  “So what happened to the body we saw?” asked Ogre, earnestly.

  “There never was a body!” yelled The Squid, pacing in a circular pattern.

  “Well, we are completely in the clear then aren’t we?”

  The Squid kicked his tires. “Oh, you think so, Ogre? Why did I let you talk me into this?”

  “I don’t remember,” Ogre mumbled. “Everything is fuzzy from last night.”

  “Great. Exactly. You needed this for your Mom, so I went along with it.” He walked around the side of the truck and started pumping fuel. “This wasn’t ever my idea.”

  “I’ll just go get us some drinks and grub,” said Ogre.

  “Catch the fuel and a new side mirror inside the Truck Stop.”

  “Why?”

  “Because your dynamite trick blew off my side mirror.”

  Ogre coughed loudly and pointed at the pristine side-mirror. “Looks fine to me.”

  The Squid waved him off and pondered what could have happened. He saw shrapnel shatter the side mirror. How was it still intact? He had fallen asleep at the wheel before a few times, but thank the Lord, he had never wrecked. But on top of that, he had never lost a full night of driving before. It felt like an hour last night and yet it was morning. Where had the time gone? Why did he remember that mirror being broken?

  Ogre returned with drinks and snacks. “What do you remember from last night?”

  “Nothing, just driving,” said The Squid.

  “Had to be something. What happened after I fell asleep?”

  The Squid, took off his sunglasses and rubbed at his face. “Ugh. We hit some cross winds. But it shouldn’t have taken this long. It couldn’t have.”

  Ogre pondered, then he walked to the trailer and clambered up on it and started lifting up the tarps. “Look at this, Squid-man.”

  The shadowy outline of the craft was distinctly there almost like silver paint had been sprayed in that bizarre cigar shape, but tiny hairline tendrils of the mercurial ship also stretched out over the trailer, barely perceptible against the dulled steel. The Squid looked, then went to his cab and noted that they had spread everywhere, even encroaching onto the glossy surface of the Mack’s black paint job. On a whim, he slid underneath and saw the silver veins entwined there too. “Where did that thing go and what are these lines everywhere?”

  “I dunno man, that’s freaking weird.”

  “Great, that ought to help the resale value.”

  “You know what else is weird. The clerk inside said he saw that fireball last night when it was still way up in the atmosphere, he even barely felt the impact all this way and that the army and cops have been here all night. Guess they must have called ahead. Good thing they weren’t here when we pulled in? Huh?”

  “Yeah, great Ogre. Especially after you said they wouldn’t have any idea who we were.”

  “Hell, if we don’t know what happened, they don’t know. They just had to call around after that spectacle last night and this is the closest service station so . . .”

  A highway patrolman slowly pulled into the fueling station. He cast
a wary eye at the two of them and they could see he was on the radio talking excitedly to someone.

  “Let’s get the hell out of here,” said The Squid.

  “Right,” agreed Ogre, throwing his sack of snacks into the cab.

  The Squid slowly pulled out of the station. The highway patrolman followed closely. “Damnit! He must have our descriptions!”

  “Now take it easy Squid, remember we don’t have the UFO, they got nothing on us.”

  “What about the damn tree, resisting arrest, smashed helicopter and all that? I think they have a case.”

  “You’re such a pessimist.”

  The highway patrolman was right behind them.

  “I’m a realist Ogre! You live in fantasyland, thinking you know shit about the world and you don’t! You listen to conspiracy radio and dream up that you have the inside scoop on things. But you don’t get any of it right! And you even try to distract me by telling me my girl is a tramp.”

  “She is dude.”

  The Squid reached over and smacked Ogre, the truck swerved while he did so.

  “Well now that Bear will have an excuse to pull us over,” said Ogre.

  Expecting to see the red and blues flashing, The Squid was surprised to see no trace of the patrolman. He had just been right behind them hadn’t he? The highway stretched out in a long straight grey line. Where could the cop have gone? The Squid had only taken his eyes off the cop for a second to hit Ogre. He kept watching the rear view for a long time but there was no sign. “That’s not right.”

  “The hell it’s not. Karma dude,” said Ogre. “We deserved to get away clean.”

  “But where did he go?”

  “Who cares? We’re in the clear.”

  The Squid wasn’t so sure but there was no denying the patrolman was gone. They were only a couple miles down the road and the sun was already far too high in the sky for his comfort. It looked like noon, but they had only just filled up. “What time is it?”

  “I dunno, lost my watch last night,” said Ogre. “Does it matter?”

  “Yeah it matters, I have a schedule to keep and we’re way behind.”

  Ogre scoffed, but smiled to make up for it and handed The Squid a beer.

  “What?” asked The Squid, as he popped his open.

  “Nothing, just that time is simply a construct of man. It’s meaningless.”

  The Squid shook his head. “What? You have deadlines and schedules.”

  “Sure, but not by my making. That’s all just to please someone else and for what? We made pocket watches so we could meet appointments with our social betters. What did we do before that? We gauged time by sun up and sun down. Not for me if I have a say in it.”

  “Oh yeah, you don’t! How else will anything get done?”

  Ogre took a deep swallow of his beer. “Squid, come on. Before we watched the sun up sun down thing, life was free and easy. We did everything as long as it took and there was no stress. Time is an artificial construct we’d be better off getting rid of. It’s such a stressful frame of reference.”

  “You’re crazy.”

  “Am I? Does anything hinge on New Year’s Day? Anything natural? Does any plant, animal, vitamin or mineral give a damn what day it is? What time it is? Of course not. So why should we?”

  “Wait, you said before sun up and sun down. What the hell was there before that?”

  “The purple dawn of creation, Squid man. Everything was an Eden. We lay back and let fruit fall from the vine and into our mouths. We should live that way again. Back to basics. No worries.”

  “Uh huh. I must be losing it, your insanity is almost making sense and it looks like it’s afternoon already and I know we’ve only driven about five miles and this has been the emptiest I have ever seen the highway. There’s not another vehicle in sight.”

  “Must be some kind of Utah holiday. Maybe May-Day is Pray Day? Yet another good reason not to recognize time.”

  The Squid shook his head. He was buzzed but this was the strangest day of his life and it went far beyond Ogre’s crazy ramblings and the cold beer.

  5. Smoke on the Water

  The Squid was looking at a dark cloud out over the Great Salt Lake. At first he thought it was smoke or mist but it rapidly changed shape and density. It grew growing darker by the moment, forming into undulating bizarre movements. He thought it was a UFO until he pointed it out to Ogre.

  “It’s just birds.”

  The big cloud of birds wafted about in the sky near Saltair. He couldn’t tell what kind they were but guessed they were starlings flocking together to create weird shapes. A few more miles down the road and he seemed to think they were following. “That’s weird.”

  “What,” asked Ogre.

  “I don’t see any other trucks or cars or anything on the road and those birds look like they are following us. Just looking at the sky I would say it is three o’clock in the afternoon, but it was dawn when we filled up.”

  “See I told you. Time is bullshit.”

  “Those birds are getting closer and they look huge. What are they?”

  Ogre looked in the rear view mirror at the rapidly approaching shapes. They were indeed big. A whole lot bigger than starlings. “Hell if I know, Squid. Storks?”

  The Squid grumbled. “Ha ha, very funny. I’m supposed to be in Denver with Jeanie right now. Don’t talk storks to me, Ogre.”

  “Actually—”

  The Squid reached to smack Ogre who ducked away. “Don’t ever start a sentence with ‘Actually’ to me again! Got it!? I’m pushed to my stressing limits here!”

  “It’s not like storks really deliver babies, Squid. I’d think you’d know that by now.”

  “I know that jackass; I just don’t like being reminded of what I’m missing because of your needs.”

  “Please, this isn’t about me. Without the UFO, we—”

  “What?” The Squid threw his hands up off the steering wheel and the truck started to drift out of its lane. “I want to hear you say it.”

  But Ogre had gone deathly silent staring at the rearview mirror.

  “Say it Ogre.”

  “Can this rig go any faster?”

  “Yeah, but you are gonna tell me.”

  “Just put the hammer down and get us the hell outta here!” cried Ogre, in a panic.

  “What is it?” asked The Squid, as he looked in the rear view mirror, while taking a swig of his Mickey Big Mouth. He was stupefied. He looked at the bottle then back to the rear view mirror at what he saw. “What’d you slip into my beer?”

  “Nothing.”

  The things flying after them in obvious pursuit and dreadful intent were not birds. True, they had wings but beyond that all similarities ended in mind shattering horror. These dark things were near the size of a man but looked more like black prawns or horrendous insects with multiple clawed pincers and wide fleshy heads covered in myriad throbbing antennae.

  The Squid took another drink but spit it out as the nearest thing swooped down in front of the cab, narrowly missing being swatted into the windshield. Ogre rapidly rolled up his window. Another one of the creatures smacked into the side of the cab on The Squid’s side but didn’t get a grip and was knocked away.

  “I’m gonna get my gun!” shouted Ogre.

  The Squid nodded and put the pedal to the metal, kicking their speed up to over a hundred miles an hour. One of the bug-like creatures landed on top of the cab and scrambled over the top to the windshield. The Squid turned on the wipers. Ogre pulled a .357 magnum out of his bag and aimed at the thing.

  “Not my windshield man!” cried The Squid.

  “How else am I gonna hit it?”

  “Reach around thru the window!”

  The Squid glanced in the rearview mirror and saw another creature on the trailer. And several more in the air catching up. The monster tapped a claw at the windshield, producing an awful ticking. “Shoot it, Ogre!” cried The Squid, sure that the thing would break and crash through the windo
w at any moment.

  “What if it bites?”

  “Shoot it before it does!”

  Ogre unrolled the window halfway, reached over and fired at the monster. The bullet hit it center of mass. The creature tumbled forward over the hood and down. There was no denying the bump as the truck rolled over the top of it. “Ha! Yeah!” shouted Ogre. “Where’s another?” A scuttling sounded on the roof of the cab. And Ogre shot through the roof at the thing.

  “My truck man!”

  “It was a dud there’s no hole in your truck!”

  Then the monster was at the window. A hairy claw ripped into Ogre’s forearm. Blood spurted out over the window and door. He screamed like a piglet but reached back with the pistol and shot the fleshy tendril covered head. It split wide open. The exploded head burst what appeared to be powder or spores instead of blood. The cab smelled like moldy bread after the pungent carnage. The body dropped away from the truck and tumbled down the freeway.

  The Squid became aware of the dull red of evening and wondered a moment between his panic over these creatures how it was getting dark already. He coaxed a little more speed from the truck. At least three more creatures flew through the air behind them but gradually fell farther behind as the truck sped into the gathering darkness. “Are you okay? Are they gone?”

  Ogre shook his head as he was biting down on a rag while wrapping a T-shirt about his arm.

  “I can’t stop the truck. Are you going to make it?”

  Ogre nodded, saying “I think so. What the hell were those things?”

  “No idea. Maybe the UFO belongs to them, maybe they want it back.”

  “Well we can’t give it back!”

  The sky was fully dark and there were no stars against the blackness. “It’s night already? Where are we? We should be in Salt Lake. How can it be dark already?”

  Interstate I-80 merged with I-15 and they turned south. Still there was no traffic. “Where is everyone?”