And So She Waited

by Shakuita Johnson

  "Why are you here, Matt, and why are they with you?" Raven asked.

  "I don't know why they're here. I didn't invite them. But I'm here to save you from yourself," Matt said.

  "I don't need saving," Raven said.

  Remy made his way into the living room with nothing but his boxers on. He detoured to the kitchen for another beer, then settled himself on the couch to watch the shit show play out in front of him.

  "Remy," Casey said. "What are you doing? Why are you here? We need to go. I don't understand what kind of power voodoo spells she cast on you but this isn't you. So what, she sang you a fucking song. It doesn't mean shit."

  Stacey went over to where Remy was sitting and kneeled down in front of him. She took one of his hands in both of hers. She looked as deep into his eyes as she could before she spoke.

  "What are you doing, babe? This isn't you. You don't fall in love. You fuck them for a while and then you leave. We just started our dance and I'm not ready for anyone to cut in yet," Stacey said.

  "Stacey, let go of my fucking hand and get the hell out of my face before I hurt you," Remy said.

  The shock from his words forced her to stumble back and land on her ass. She knew he was an asshole but she was speechless.

  "You're such a fucking dick, Remy," Stacey spat.

  "You had no problems with my dick last night," Remy smirked.

  "You're so disgusting. I told you to stay away from Raven," Matt snarled.

  "And I told you to mind your own fucking business," Raven said.

  "Shut up, Raven. It's obvious you aren't capable of making your own decisions, so I'm going to start making them for you," Matt said.

  "You shut up! Get out of my apartment. Every last one of you," Raven said.

  "I'm not leaving without Remy," Casey said.

  "Casey Summers, get out of my apartment before I put you out,” Raven said “Please don’t let my pushover status fool you. I've made lesser girls cry with just a flick of my tongue. You can either leave on your own accord or I will help you to the door."

  "Listen bitch—" Casey started.

  Raven pulled back her arm and quickly brought it across the right side of Casey's face. The slap was all that could be heard for the next several seconds. Not a word was said for a full minute.

  "Damn," Remy murmured.

  He didn't think that the old girl had it in her. The same girl that was sprawled out across the Starbucks floor hanging onto him had slapped Casey. He began to laugh loudly and couldn't seem to stop.

  "Do you know who my father is? How dare you put your hands on me?" Casey asked.

  "I'm going to put more than my hands on you if you don't get the fuck out now. And take Stacey with you," Raven said.

  "This shit isn't over, Raven Sinclair. I know where you live now you fucking bitch!" Casey screamed.

  Raven leaped over and rammed her full body weight into Casey. They both fell with a loud thud. Raven used one hand to wrap around Casey's neck and the other she balled up into her hair. She pulled her face down directly in front of Casey.

  "Listen up and listen good, little girl,” Raven snarled. “My family makes yours look like vagabonds and blue-collar criminals. My lawyers would eat yours for breakfast. The only reason your family appears to be better than mine is because my daddy doesn't give the enemy all his secrets by telling the world how much he's worth. We hide ourselves in plain sight. Don't fuck with me, sweetie, because the next time you think it's a good idea to intimidate me with what you think you know I'll have your family sitting on the street corner begging for spare change. Am I making myself clear?" Raven asked.

  The only sounds she could hear were Casey's wheezing. Raven pulled herself off of her and kicked her a few times for good measure. She was tired of being everyone's punching bag. It was time she did some punching herself.

  "Stacey, take your friend and get out of my sight. Don't come back," Raven said.

  Stacey helped Casey up and took her out to the car. It looked like she would have to drive as Casey was in no condition to do so at the moment. Stacey took one last look a Remy on her way out. He was still sitting on the couch with that stupid smirk on his face and guzzling down beer. She didn't know what she had seen in him and she honestly wished she'd have kept telling him no. It was too late for regrets now.

  "Well, what the fuck are you waiting for? I want you gone too!" Raven exclaimed.

  "I'm not going anywhere. He's the one who needs to leave. For once in your life make the right decision, the smart decision," Matt said.

  "I did make a decision and it's not you. It must suck, doesn't it Matty? Always the groomsman and never the groom?" Raven taunted.

  Matt could feel his jaw clenching and a ticking in his ears. Don’t punch her in the face no matter how much you might want to, he said to himself. She was delusional, that's all. She'd been brainwashed by Remy. He was leading her on as usual.

  "Can't you see he doesn't care about you? This, whatever it is y'all just did means nothing to him," Matt said.

  "You don't know what you're talking about," Raven said.

  "Actually he kind of does. He's right; this was goodbye and nothing more. As soon as I finish my beers and sober up, after taking you one more time, I'm gone for good," Remy added.

  "Excuse me?" Raven asked. "What do you mean this was a goodbye?"

  "Exactly what I said. I mean everything I said on Monday, I meant. You aren't who I want to spend the rest of my life with. There will be no two-point-five children, no white picket fence, and no big backyard. You're just some girl. Some girl that I occasionally fuck from time to time and now even that isn't enough because you had to mess it up by catching feelings," Remy said.

  "You don’t mean it," Raven breathed.

  "Are you fucking blind or deaf?” Matt whined. “He's sitting right in front of you without a care in the world. He doesn't love you. He's not only said it but he's shown it and you still don't believe it. I have no words. It's like you enjoy the pain that he causes you. Are you a masochist? Is that it? Does pain get you off?" Matt asked.

  "You don't know what you're talking about. Get out Matt, I need to talk to Remy alone," Raven said.

  "I'm not going anywhere until you answer my fucking questions," Matt said.

  "Go ahead, Raven. Tell Matty your secrets. You're supposed to be best friends, right? Does he not know about your condition?" Remy offered.

  Raven started to shake. He wouldn't betray her secrets like that, would he? Surely he wouldn't expose her for the world to see. That was private; it wasn't for everyone's ears. If he felt anything at all for her he wouldn't tell anyone what he'd seen. What he'd felt. She pleaded to him with her eyes to not say a word.

  "What the hell is he talking about, Raven? What condition?" Matt asked. "Are you sick? Tell me!"

  "There is nothing to tell," Raven said, her voice thick with unshed tears.

  "You're lying," Matt said. "Tell me what you know, Remy, or I swear to…"

  Remy threw the beer bottle past Matt's head so fast that if she had blinked she would have missed it. The bottle shattered against the wall in a thousand pieces. Remy's chest was heaving from the outrage.

  "Or you swear to what, Matt? You threatened me once and I let you get away with it. There will not be a repeat. I am the boss of me, not you. Me. I don't know what Raven lets you get away with but I'm not as accommodating. If you have a problem, please come closer and whisper it in my ear so that I can properly educate you on the man that is Remy Peters. I don't give two shits what you think you feel towards Raven or how you feel about me. But if you keep speaking out of turn, your ass is going to get spanked. Raven, get rid of him and meet me in the bedroom. I've grown tired of this conversation," Remy said.

  Raven watched Remy go and thanked her lucky stars that he didn't spill her secrets. Her heart rate could return to normal now. No one could know. No one could ever know. She looked over at her best friend and realized for the first time that she hated him. He was rui
ning everything she'd worked for. He was the cause of all her problems.

  "Is it true, Matt? Did you threaten him, swear him away from me?" Raven asked.

  "I did it for your own good," Matt protested.

  "Get out," Raven said softly.

  He made a move towards her but she backed away. She didn't want him to touch her. Not ever again.

  "Raven," Matt said.

  "GET OUT!" Raven screamed. "I don't want to see you. Get. Out."

  "This isn't over," Matt said.

  "Yes it is. Now please leave."

  Raven watched as Matt attempted to right the door he had broken, and then finally leave. She ran her fingers through her hair a few times and shook it off. She then went into the bedroom where Remy was waiting for her. She was going to make him stay with her. Remy didn't mean it when he said this was goodbye. This was just the beginning.

  Chapter 15

  Two months later

  Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

  What in the hell was that noise? Someone needed to make it stop. Raven felt like utter shit. Her breasts where sore as hell, too! She could barely touch them and sleeping on her stomach was out of the question. What the hell was wrong with her? She was so tired. It was like she hadn't slept in days but all she'd been doing was sleeping. Even ballet practice had her more exhausted than ever before. She didn't understand it. Raven jumped up and dove for the bathroom just in time to heave up whatever was currently in her stomach. Was she getting sick? Did she have the flu? She'd never been sick a day in her life. She didn't know what sick was. She always pushed through whatever sniffles and coughs she'd had in the past but this felt different.

  Maybe she needed to see a doctor just in case this was something serious. A quick stop to the clinic wouldn't hurt. They would squeeze her in; hell, her father pumped enough money into the place that he should own it by now. After throwing up everything in her stomach, including the lining, Raven picked herself off the floor and dragged her ass to the sink. After taking care of some basic necessities and showering, she wrapped herself up in some sweats, a T-shirt, and hoodie. She needed something loose fitting; besides, she felt like she had gained about five pounds. Most of her clothes were fitting a little snug these days.

  She walked to the bus stop and didn't have to wait long before she spotted the bus riding up. Good, she wasn't feeling up to waiting around and she really just wanted to get back in her bed and sleep the entire weekend away. She was still reeling about Remy and how he'd acted the past two months. After the night when Matt busted her door down, Remy had fucked the shit out of her one more time and left. He wouldn't return her phone calls or text, and every time she tried to talk to him on campus he just walked away like he didn't even know her. She was equal parts pissed and heartbroken. The cutting had gotten worse and so had Matt's insistent squawking. He wouldn't shut up, no matter what she said. And to make things worse she would see Remy and Stacey together from time to time, booed up like they were a fucking couple. He never did that with her.

  She couldn't think about that right now or she would lose her shit right on this bus. She didn't need another audience for her pain and suffering. She needed to get this doctor visit over with and then she could go home and self-medicate the way she'd only known how. She took out her phone and debated about sending Remy another text message. Raven bit her lip in indecision but in the end she did what she always would.

  Remy, please message me back. I need to see you babe. I miss you. I love you. Why isn't that enough?

  Damn him! Raven was still waiting for her phone to ring with a message from Remy when she got off at the stop close to the clinic. She walked the rest of the way, which was roughly 15 minutes. Her back and body were not happy about that little fact either. She just wanted to be in bed and she was craving weird ass food that she would never have eaten because of her strict diet to maintain her weight for ballet. A heavy dancer wasn't a very good one as far as ballet instructors were concerned. She'd managed to stay anorexic thin for years. She wasn't about to throw it all away with a damn cheeseburger, fries, slush, and ice cream. Nope, she wasn't going to eat that crap. But she would give her left ovary for a pickle and some Kool-Aid right now! The grape-flavored kind. What the hell was wrong with her?

  The doors to the clinic couldn't open fast enough, even though they were automatic. She rushed up to the receptionist’s desk.

  "Excuse me, ma'am,” Raven said, “I don't have an appointment but I was wondering if Dr. Carmichael could squeeze me in. My name is Raven Sinclair. He knows my father."

  "Ms. Sinclair, let me check with the doctor and see what he can do. We actually had a cancellation for the next patient so just hold tight a minute," the female nurse said.

  "Awesome, thank you!"

  Raven paced the lobby while she waited for the nurse to talk with the doctor. The constant back and forth did nothing but make her nauseous. She didn't have all day—she needed to be seen, sent home with some meds, and given a few days of bed rest. Then she would be right as rain.

  "Ms. Sinclair, if you would follow me, please. The doctor will see you now," the nurse said.

  "Thank you so much. I appreciate it," Raven replied.

  Finally! Raven didn't have time to be sick; hell, she couldn't afford it. Not with finals in another month. They needed a few more practice sessions to nail their routine, especially with her feeling out of sorts for the last few weeks during practice. She followed the nurse into an exam room.

  "Step up on this scale, please," the nurse instructed.

  Raven did as she was told and almost fainted when she read the numbers that flashed in red on the scale. One hundred and fifteen pounds! It was worse than she thought. She'd gained fifteen fucking pounds in the last two months. This was unacceptable. She had been a solid hundred for as long as she could remember.

  "Are you fucking shitting me? I've gained too much weight. I have to get it off, NOW!" Raven exploded.

  "What are you talking about, sweetie? You look great and in fact you could probably stand to gain a few more," the nurse said.

  "No, absolutely not. Do you know what this could do to my ballet career? Ruin it, that's what. I need to up my diet and exercise ASAP, as soon as I'm feeling better. I should have come to see the doctor sooner."

  "Well, let me just take the rest of your vitals and then I'll go get the doctor," the nurse said with pursed lips.

  Screw her! She didn't have to deal with the demands of being the best of the fucking best. She didn't understand the pressure she was under. The nurse poked and prodded her while she scribbled stuff down on a piece of paper. She was making faces Raven couldn't even begin to decipher.

  "When was your last menstrual cycle?" the nurse asked.

  Raven scrunched her face up in thought. She couldn't remember at all. Was it last month, or the month before? Damn, she needed to keep better track. Some months she would miss a period completely from the heavy demands she placed on her body.

  "Um, I really don't know."

  The nurse made a humph sound and murmured about sitting tight while she went and talked to the doctor. What the hell was her problem? Raven waited in the extremely cold room, as she shivered and rubbed her hands up her arms in an attempt to stay warm. They needed to hurry up. She didn't have all freaking day. Finally she heard the light knock on the door before the nurse stepped back in.

  "Raven, the doctor wants you to pee in this cup, please. He wants to check some lab stuff before he comes in," the nurse said.

  "Sure, lead the way to the bathroom," Raven said.

  Raven followed the nurse to the bathroom and did her business. She then came out and handed the nurse the little bottle of yellowish liquid. Shit, she needed to increase her water intake. Raven went back into the exam room and waited for the doctor. The entire time she wondered why he wanted her to pee in a freaking cup. What could he think was wrong with her? Raven heard another knock and the doctor came in, followed by the nurse.

  "Hey, Doc! Thanks
for getting me in on such short notice," Raven said.

  "Of course, dear. Your father has helped us greatly over the years and this was no trouble at all. Now, after looking over your vitals and results from your urine I'm happy to announce that you're pregnant! Congratulations! I'm sure your father will be thrilled," the doctor said.

  Pregnant? Was he fucking high? There was no way in hell that was true. Remy would kill her.

  "Doc, you must have made some sort of mistake. I'm not pregnant," Raven insisted.

  "The test was positive, but how about we draw some blood to be 100 percent sure. Throw on a gown and I'll take a look?"

  "Sure, sure. Whatever you say."

  Raven was confused. It couldn't be possible! Then again, could it? Remy had been a mad man and she hadn't taken her pills in a while when they last slept together. He hadn't pulled out, either. Shit, this wasn't good. How was she going to tell him? Texting it didn't seem like the best way. Raven changed into the gown the nurse had given her after the doctor and nurse had left. She didn't have time for a baby right now. It wasn't a good time. She had ballet, Remy wasn't talking to her, Matt was losing his mind, and her parents would flip when they found out. Raven prayed the doctor was mistaken. Maybe they tested the wrong pee, but even as the thought entered her mind Raven knew the truth. She was pregnant with Remy's child. She was so fucking dead.

  Chapter 16

  Remy glanced down at his phone and for what felt like the thousandth time he wanted to hurl it across the room. Why the hell wouldn't she stop texting him? Did she not get the message two months ago? He'd told her that it was the last time he would ever speak to or see her again. Why couldn't she get over it already and leave him the hell alone? Remy looked down at his phone and read the message.

  Remy, please message me back. I need to see you, babe. I miss you. I love you. Why isn't that enough?

  Remy growled low in his throat. Why wouldn’t she just go away? Find some other poor sucker to obsess over. He wanted nothing else to do with her. Remy lay in bed with Stacey and Casey wrapped around him. This was what he was talking about. No drama and they both knew the score. After they had made asses out of themselves by showing up at Raven’s door, everything was going smoother. No screeching about love or unlimited text messages or phone calls. He called and they came, simple and easy. Remy rolled Casey over him and put her next to Stacey. They wrapped themselves around each other as he got up to clean up in the bathroom and get ready for a light workout in the pool and a jog. After 15 minutes, Remy went through the door and locked it behind him. They would either be gone when he got back or still sleeping.