Color Me Blind (A Divine Love Story Book 1)

by Melinda Michelle

  “Hey, hey, come on now, calm down. Let’s just have a seat okay. This isn’t the time or the place to honestly express yourself.”

  She knew he was right but she was very close to not caring. How could Blake come to her last night and make love to her making it clear that he chose her just to turn around and still need something else from Jasmine?

  She was a good woman to Blake and she didn’t understand it. It made her mad that she couldn’t stop her tears. Derrick gave her a sympathetic pat on her shoulder.

  “I don’t think I can handle this. I just can’t. I know he loves me, but not like he loves her. I can’t take this anymore. How do you stand it?”

  She saw his other fist was clinched. It made her feel a little better. Derrick was fuming. Jasmine was not going to make a fool out of him. He decided it was either him or Blake. He was more than confident Jasmine would choose him. No woman of his would ever be that close to another man.

  “I honestly didn’t know it was this bad. I mean I knew they were close but they’ve gone just a bit too far in my opinion. Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it. After this is all over, Jasmine will be making some changes in her life and you and I will be the beneficiaries of those changes.”

  Amber nodded. Finally, someone was on her side. She left a very irritated Derrick to go wash her face before Blake came back.

  Chapter 23: A Pain like No Other

  Jasmine and Frank were side by side in their hospital beds awaiting anesthesia. Her heart was breaking because her friendship with Blake was about to change in a way that she knew it needed to, but one that she wasn’t sure she could actually handle. Blake was her world and the thought of giving him up was shattering her soul. She needed him in her life.

  She knew Derrick was a good man. She really loved him, but he just wasn’t her best friend. Blake knew the worst of her and accepted her without condition. Maybe Derrick would if he knew but she would never tell him to find out.

  Her heart was also filled with joy because she was excited for Frank and everything that life would have in store for him now that he had this new outlook. Her emotions were stretched to capacity in opposite directions.

  It hurt her so bad that she wouldn’t be able to be there for Blake as his new relationship with his father began. How could she abandon him when she knew he would need her, but that was no longer her job, it was Amber’s. Fate was cruel. Leaving him to face that without her made her throat burn.

  Weakly Frank said, “Jasmine.”

  She turned to look at him and managed a smile. He reached out his hand. She grabbed it. No words were exchanged just an understanding that made her genuinely smile. Masks were put on their faces and shortly after everything went black.

  ∞∞∞

  In the waiting room sat Blake, Amber, Lisa, Derrick and Justin. Lisa could tell that Amber was very upset and she was sure it had something to do with Jasmine. She honestly felt bad for her because she genuinely liked her, she just preferred Jasmine for a daughter-in-law. However, the way Derrick was eyeing Blake she didn’t think he would be letting Jasmine go anytime soon.

  Justin saw the same thing. It was something he and Lisa shared. He too preferred Blake for a son-in-law because he had practically raised the young man. He knew, without a shadow of a doubt, the content of his character because he helped put it there.

  There had always seemed to be an innate desire for Blake to protect Jasmine. He never could explain it, but he knew it was there. If his daughter was with Blake his mind would always be at ease for her well-being.

  He knew his wife preferred Derrick. Even though he hated to admit it, the only thing that Derrick had on Blake in his wife’s eyes was his chocolate skin. Vanessa knew Blake was better for Jasmine, but she couldn’t let go of her past issues to admit it. It didn’t seem to matter anyway. Jasmine wasn’t even in the room and Amber seemed to have a death grip on Blake’s arm. Oh well, it wasn’t in his power to control.

  He whispered, “Lord, have your way.”

  Blake was in unspeakable pain though you wouldn’t know it just by looking at him. Having a father that didn’t care for him to show emotion taught him how to keep his face void of the truth. He loved Amber. He really did, but it was a violation to his heart knowing that he and Jasmine had to part ways. He knew it was the right thing to do.

  It wasn’t fair to the other people in their lives, but how was it fair to him and Jasmine? He knew Amber had been crying. It was killing him to know he was the cause. He also knew he was the cure. Amber could never understand him the way Jasmine did because he wasn’t willing to open up those scars to anybody else. He didn’t have to open them up to Jasmine because she was there when they happened. She even shared a few of them.

  He knew Jasmine wouldn’t tell Derrick about the baby. Who was going to be with her on their kid’s birthday? Wasn’t that funny that he still thought of the baby as their kid? The thought of her doing that alone broke his heart. He excused himself to get some air.

  He stepped out through the double doors and breathed in the fresh afternoon air. He leaned against the wall willing himself to get it together as he closed his eyes. Derrick walked outside with purpose in his stride.

  He stood staring at Blake leaning against the wall.

  He said, “Blake, I need to holla at you about a few things.”

  Startled, Blake opened his eyes and locked them with Derrick’s. This was a man who obviously was looking for a confrontation. For the first few moments they both sized the other up. They were eye to eye at six-foot-three-inches. Blake was lean but Derrick knew that was misleading because he was all muscle.

  Derrick had him by at least 80 pounds and he was no slouch on the muscle tone either. Blake decided to wait for Derrick to speak first.

  Derrick cleared his throat and closed in the space between them so they could have a private conversation.

  He said, “I think it’s time you and I have an understanding where my woman is concerned.”

  Blake arched an eyebrow but didn’t respond.

  Derrick continued, “I understand that y’all are so called best friends but you’ve taken it too far. I do not appreciate your hands in her hair nor the fact that you continually kiss her. Every time I turn around your hands are on her in one way or another. It’s inappropriate. She is a woman in a relationship and I’m pretty sure your woman would agree.”

  It was deja-vu for Blake. He and his boys had just had this conversation. Still, he didn’t like the way dude was all in his face. He tried to put himself in Derrick’s shoes or even Amber’s, but all that logic went out the window because it was Jasmine. With her all bets were off.

  Blake said, “She might be your woman but she is my friend. No matter whom she is with that fact will never change. You’re disposable, I’m not. I understand that you and Amber are feeling a certain way about this, but we can’t change the fact that your perception is not the reality. There is nothing going on between us. I’m really starting to get sick of having to explain myself.”

  Derrick was two seconds from knocking this cat out.

  He said, “Look homie, I’m not about to tell you again. She’s mine, stay away from her or else?”

  “Or else what? Have you talked to Jasmine about this? Are you sure this is what she wants?”

  “It doesn’t matter what Jasmine wants. This is unacceptable behavior, period. Look dawg, you’ve been warned and with me you only get one. Next time I’ll find a different way to communicate.”

  Blake was itching to deck him. He reigned in some restraint.

  Blake replied, “We both know Jasmine is not one to take orders. It’s a good thing the only person that is actually relevant understands that. Ultimately your tantrum is pointless because I know I’ll never lose her. Can you say the same thing?”

  Blake saw Derrick’s first clench. He raised his chin and dared him to act on it. Derrick had to control his temper. Now was not the time or the place.

  “Like I said, I don’t iss
ue second notices.”

  Derrick walked back into the hospital.

  Blake was ready to hit something, anything.

  Nurse Ashley walked outside looking for her next assignment.

  She spotted Blake and said, “Hey there blue eyes. Guess you’re waiting for your girl to get out of surgery?”

  She surprised him but then he recognized her.

  “Yeah, they’re in now. I just needed a bit of fresh air.”

  She eyed him skeptically. The man looked ready to blow and like he had literally just lost his best friend. Blake hadn’t felt the need to keep up the pretense now that he was away from the watchful eyes of Amber and Derrick. For the second time in less than a month he wanted to cry.

  Nurse Ashley walked over to him. She put her hand on his shoulder and looked very deeply into his eyes. It was beyond bizarre, but he couldn’t really seem to break the stare of those incredibly sparkling hazel eyes.

  Her touch sent warmth all through his body and was very comforting. It was disconcerting actually that this stranger could bring him comfort when she couldn’t possibly know what was wrong. He felt such a peace overtake him and his anger dissipated.

  She said, “I know it’s hard to let her go son but trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.”

  Blake swallowed hard. If God was trying to get his attention, He officially had it.

  He asked her, “Who are you?”

  “Someone who has known you for a long time.”

  He simply gawked.

  She smiled, “All things will be revealed in time.”

  She walked back into the hospital. He stood there for a moment dumbfounded and then rushed in after her to find out who she really was because she sure as hell wasn’t a nurse.

  A few steps in he ran right into Amber.

  “Hey, slow down. Where are you heading off to in such a rush?”

  She couldn’t have just disappeared.

  He said, “I was looking for someone.”

  “Who?”

  “Never mind, it’s nothing.”

  “Are you okay Blake?”

  “Yeah Amber I’m fine. I just needed a minute to breathe that’s all,” he snapped.

  She raised her hands in surrender, “Okay fine. Get your air, whatever I’m going home.”

  His favorite curse word danced off his lips.

  He yelled toward her retreating back.

  “Amber I’m sorry.”

  She turned back and saw how much agony he seemed to be in. She went to him and just held him. She had never seen him so vulnerable. This was a part of him she wasn’t privileged to see.

  He could feel how much she loved him in her touch and he was grateful for it. It wasn’t the same kind of comfort Jasmine gave him, but he was still grateful for it. He thought, okay God if this is you talking to me then this is me finally willing to listen. I honestly have no idea what to do. Please help me see what I’m supposed to see.

  Chapter 24: Detox

  Jasmine had been home from surgery for two weeks. She was very tired but for the most part her recovery was on schedule. Frank’s body accepted her kidney without any complications. He was getting stronger every day. Derrick took a week off from work and was by her side the entire week. For the other week her roommates were there for her with whatever she needed.

  Derrick took walks with her in between her naps and to all her doctor appointments. They were really starting to get back some of what had been missing in their relationship. She was thankful for all that Derrick did for her, but as much as she loved Derrick, it just wasn’t the same. She missed Blake so much it hurt.

  She hadn’t had a moment alone with him since before the surgery. She did see him after but Amber was practically joined to his hip. They didn’t have a moment to talk. She could tell something was seriously bothering him, but they agreed to back off and work on their individual relationships.

  She wanted to talk to him about his dad. She wanted to know about his current cases. She wanted to know all the things that she would normally know before the great divide.

  There was something good that came out of all of this. Frank was really trying hard to keep his end of the bargain. They made a deal to talk on the phone once a week. Their first conversation was kinda short and revolved mostly around their recovery process. Since Derrick insisted she stay in bed as much as possible she had only seen Blake once. He was headed out when she did.

  He’d sent her texts to check on her, but that was it. She imagined this was what an amputee patient went through. They could still feel the limb itching even when it wasn’t there. She felt like a part of her was missing.

  She’d sent Derrick out to get her some butter pecan ice cream so that he would stop hovering and she could walk around her own house unsupervised. She walked into the dining room to sit at the table just because. She hadn’t had a meal anywhere but in her room for two weeks. She was so over the helpless patient act. Carmen came through the door.

  “Hey Jazzy, it’s good to see you up and out of that room.”

  “Heeeeeeeyyyyy Carmen! Please come sit,” Jasmine begged. “Tell me everything that’s going on even if normally I wouldn’t wanna hear it.”

  Carmen laughed and took a seat across from her.

  “You ain’t fooling nobody Ms. Lady. You are having Blake withdrawals because he hasn’t stayed at his own house in two weeks.”

  Jasmine’s face answered for her.

  “If it makes you feel any better he had that same look on his face when we had lunch earlier this week.”

  There was no point in denying it, especially not to Carmen, she smirked.

  “I’m going crazy Carmen. I miss him so much.”

  Carmen got up to take the chair next to her. Jasmine leaned her head on her shoulder.

  “How do I do this?”

  Carmen felt for her just like she felt for Blake. She had no idea what was blocking their vision from the obvious, but she told her the same thing she told him. Carmen was never one for displaying emotions. With her it was always logic.

  “You made a decision to accept the love that someone is willing to give you. You made a decision to move forward with your life. So that’s what you’re going to do. You’re going to move forward and be happy.”

  “Easier said than done,” Jasmine said with a pout, “Maybe if I didn’t quit cold turkey. I need to be weaned off him Carmen. I can’t talk to Derrick about this. He would flip. The person I would normally talk to about this is the one person I can’t talk to. I swear we did not think this through.”

  “You know what Jasmine, you and Blake are like a carbon copy of each other. Do you want to keep Derrick or give him up?”

  “I wanna keep him.”

  “Okay, then stop whining and deal with it. It’s not forever. You will get to see him again.”

  “It won’t be the same though.”

  With some attitude Carmen said, “Jasmine, suck it up. You made your choice and I’m not going to baby you through this process.”

  Jasmine put her head down on the table, took in a really deep breath and sat back up again.

  “You’re right. I’ll just have to deal.”

  ∞∞∞

  Blake and Damon were having a drink after work. They were sitting at a booth in the back of the crowded restaurant. The look on Blake’s face was almost too much for Damon to bear. He honestly felt bad for both of them.

  Damon asked, “You miss her huh?”

  “Like I’d miss my left nut. Man I don’t know how I’m gonna do this.”

  Damon laughed hard. But he really wanted to choke some sense into him. He honestly didn’t know why they couldn’t see it.

  “Except for when we first started college this is the longest I have gone without talking to her or seeing her. It’s really irritating me because people are telling me that I can’t see her. I just want to hear her voice and see that
smile of hers. I have so much to tell her. Stuff that only she would understand.”

  “Did you ever try and give Amber the chance to see if she would understand?”

  A little defensively Blake said, “It’s not that simple.”

  “Actually it is. If you love her like you say you do it should be that simple.”

  His friend’s words stung.

  “I hear you man but some things are easier said than done.”

  “Look Blake, you know I love you and Jasmine very much but dude, I can only help you if you’re willing to help yourself.”

  Blake took a sip of his drink and pinched the bridge of his nose. He closed his eyes as he let out a hard breath.

  “Derrick got in my face about it at the hospital. You were right. He was ready to pound on me.”

  “I told you that.”

  “Right or wrong I wasn’t about to just sit back and let him hit me because his pride was hurt.”

  Damon extended his fist for a bump.

  “No doubt.”

  Blake laughed and said, “I can’t believe I’m taking advice about my love life from you of all people. You run from commitment like it’s the plague.”

  “I might be trifling in that regard, but if I ever had what you had with Jasmine I wouldn’t hesitate to make her mine and accept it for the beautiful blessing it is. I have never seen anything so perfect between two people.”

  Coming from Damon those words were sobering, but it just wasn’t like that. He didn’t want to be with Jasmine. He just wanted to be able to keep her as his best friend and be with the woman he loved.

  Blake said, “Guess I’ll just have to play the hand I’ve been dealt. Time heals all wounds right?”

  “So they say.”

  Blake didn’t believe for one second that there was any amount of time that could remove Jasmine from his heart.