Color Me Blind (A Divine Love Story Book 1)

by Melinda Michelle

  Chapter 25: I Miss You Much

  Jasmine always tried not to lie to herself so she did deal. It had been six weeks. Today was her first day back at work and it felt great. She and Frank were still having their weekly conversations.

  Through him she found out that he and Blake had gone out to lunch twice and regularly had dinner. She was so excited for Frank. He seemed really genuine in his desire to develop a relationship with his son. She wanted to talk to Blake. Not over the phone, not via text and not with his or her warden standing between them.

  She was practically wishing just to sit down with her best friend and say, “Hey how you doing?” Was it too much to ask? She had come into the shop a couple hours early to get caught up on paper work and any changes that had taken place.

  She was there for about 30 minutes when there was a knock at the door. She had no idea who could be coming to get their hair done this early but she would politely decline. She walked out of her office and stopped when she saw the man in the tailored navy blue suit through the blinds on the glass door.

  She rushed to unlock the door. He flashed that crooked smile and she grinned.

  She confessed, “I was just wishing for you.”

  “A little birdie named Lucy text me and said if I was as miserable as you were then I should know that you were coming into the shop early today.”

  He walked in closed and locked the door behind him. He slid his hands in his pockets not sure what to do with them.

  She said, “You look like my next breath.”

  He responded, “You look like the comfort of home.”

  “So what brings you by?”

  He shrugged then soberly said, “I needed you.”

  She was in his arms. Hers were wrapped tight around his neck, his wrapped tight around her waist. He ran his hands through those gorgeous black curls and kissed her nose when they released their long embrace. She gently pushed his hair away from his face and kissed his temple.

  Blake said, “Come on let’s sit, I gotta be in the office in an hour.”

  He realized how much he missed her smile when she flashed it.

  “Okay, on the couch in the waiting area.”

  She dragged him by the hand to the gray leather sofa.

  She said excitedly, “So tell me everything love!”

  He laughed, “Where do I start?”

  “With your dad, tell me how it’s going.”

  He beamed, “It’s actually going really good. We’ve been to lunch a few times and Amber and I go over for dinner once a week.”

  “Aww, B, I already knew that, tell me something I don’t know.”

  He looked at her perplexed, “How did you know that?”

  So Frank hadn’t told him about their conversations.

  “I talk to your dad once a week on the phone. It’s part of our agreement for us to get to know each other for your sake. That was of course before we banned ourselves from each other,” she laughed.

  He was stunned. All this time she still found a way to have his back.

  “Jaz, you’ve been talking to him all this time?”

  “Uh yeah. You didn’t think I would let you go at this alone did you? I had to make sure he was doing his part.” He just stared. “Come on B, don’t be mad. The man was terrified. I had to help him. I knew it would be a lot for you to deal with and I wanted to help in some way. Please don’t be mad, please.”

  God he loved her.

  “How could you know how much I needed you?”

  She relaxed, “Because you’re in my spirit.”

  He grabbed her hand and held it.

  “Well, the first thing he told me was that there was a reason why he was the way he was. He wanted to tell me but he just wasn’t there yet. He asked me to tell him how I felt about him and to be honest.”

  Jasmine looked surprise, “You mean like everything?”

  He nodded.

  “So did you tell him?”

  “Yeah, I told him that I hated him for a long time more so for what he did to you than to me. I told him I hated how he treated you like a piece of crap just because you didn’t look like him. I told him how I was ashamed to be his son and how I always went to your dad instead because he was the kind of father I deserved and just to add insult to injury that a black man was helping raise his son.”

  “Ouch Blake, how did he take that?”

  “Surprisingly well actually. I mean I could tell it devastated his pride but I guess he’s trying to make amends. I told him when I got grown though I didn’t want it to be like that because although I love your dad and I’m so grateful for him stepping in, I wanted to have that with my own father. I wanted the kind of relationship with my father that you had with yours. He apologized for the beatings too.”

  She rubbed his arm, “Sweetie, I’m so happy you guys are making progress.”

  “Oh, you don’t know the half of it. We actually hugged for the first time in over 20 years that day.”

  The next part choked him up and he had to steady himself before he said it.

  “What is it Blake? You can tell me.”

  “Jaz, he told me he loved me for the first time ever that I can remember.”

  He paused then said with conviction, “I’ve forgiven him Jaz. I forgave my dad.”

  She couldn’t stop the tears from falling if she was paid to. He buried his face in her neck. She held him and stroked his hair while whispering comforting words in his ear. She knew this was the reason why he was here. She held him tight as he let it all go. She understood now what her daddy meant by after the storm you can see God’s hand. The price she paid was well worth it. She had no regrets.

  “I am so happy for you love.”

  After several minutes he pulled away from her and wiped the tears he couldn’t manage to keep from surfacing. He felt free.

  “Jaz, I’ve been holding that in for two weeks. You’re the only person I could do that in front of. Thanks for everything. This wouldn’t be possible without you.”

  She smiled, “This wouldn’t be possible without God.”

  It made him think of the nurse.

  “Hey, you remember the blonde nurse with the amazing eyes?”

  “Yes,” she said excitedly, “Oh my God, the strangest thing happened. I can’t believe I didn’t tell you. I had a dream while I was under the anesthesia. It was crazy. You remember when we were little and you used to sneak over to my house at night when you had nightmares?”

  He nodded.

  “In the dream I had a view of the street between our houses. It was so dark and scary out there. Then I saw you coming from your bedroom window but you weren’t alone. Nurse Ashley was holding your hand as you walked across the street. She stood at the bottom of the lattice as she watched you climb up to my bedroom window.”

  He simply stared at her in disbelief remembering what the nurse had told him.

  “When I got out of surgery she was the first person I saw. She whispered in my ear do not be afraid for God has not given you a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind. Then I remembered falling back asleep. When I asked for her later on they said there wasn’t a nurse by that name. It was the weirdest thing, but since I had just been heavily sedated I don’t think anyone paid me any attention.”

  “I don’t want you to think I’m crazy now,” Blake said, “But I think she was like an angel or something.”

  She looked at him like he was touched, “Or something.”

  He proceeded to tell her what happened the day of her surgery.

  “Whoa that is eerie. Do you think we actually encountered a real angel?”

  “I don’t know, you tell me. You’re the one that’s best friends with Jesus, ask Him.”

  She laughed.

  “Well babes, maybe God is trying to get your attention.”

  He laughed, “Maybe He is trying to get both our attention.”

  For some reason that statement gave her an itch between the shoulders that she didn’t like
, Jasmine changed the subject.

  “So are things better with Amber?”

  “Yeah we’re doing pretty good though I am starting to miss my own space. I mean if I wanted to be married already I would propose.”

  She laughed.

  He continued, “But enough about me, how have you been? Did you get the spa day I got for you and the girls? I felt bad I wasn’t there to take care of you.”

  “Yeah I did and thank you so much. We really enjoyed it. You’re so good to me.” She kissed his temple. “I’m good. Nothing much to tell because I have been on restriction for the last six weeks,” she rolled her eyes.

  “How’s Derrick?”

  “He’s been amazing actually. A little overprotective at times, but he’s redeemed himself.”

  “You know he wants to propose to you?”

  “Yeah, he’s kinda been throwing hints.”

  “Are you gonna say yes.”

  She smiled, “That’s the plan.”

  She looked happy. He wouldn’t tell her about their confrontation. He looked down at their joined hands. She did too.

  “I really hate that I can’t have my cake and eat it too.”

  She said, “I miss you too. It’s almost unbearable.”

  “Tell me about it. Is this gonna be what our lives will be like, sneaking around to see each other just to catch up?”

  “I know, it sucks Blake but what can we do?”

  “I guess there isn’t anything to do.”

  She grinned, “Hey do you remember that time when we were nine and they…”

  “Tried to separate us,” he finished her thought. “I couldn’t forget it if I tried. So you think that’s the solution, running away?”

  She sighed, “I wish we could love but it’s just a nice thought.”

  Blake laughed.

  “We were so serious. I thought they were gonna beat our behinds for stealing your brother’s money.”

  Jasmine laughed. It felt so good to laugh with him.

  “But we were gonna pay it back when we got jobs.”

  “Oh right, at age nine we were going to find work.”

  They both laughed thinking of their childhood coup. She leaned her head on his shoulder. He put his arm around her and kissed her hair. After all these years it still smelled like coconuts. He started playing in her hair to indulge himself while he had the opportunity.

  With a heavy sigh he asked, “Jaz, what are you going to do on the baby’s birthday?”

  He felt her go stiff in his arms and pulled her in closer.

  “I don’t know. I’ve tried not to think about it.”

  “Do you think you will ever tell Derrick?”

  “No, I don’t think I can. I don’t ever want to tell another soul.”

  “Jasmine, he is going to be your husband. This is probably something you might want to tell him.”

  She got defensive, “You mean just like you told Amber about your dad?”

  “I’m not about to propose to her, but touché.”

  “What does that say about me that I can see myself marrying him but I can’t see myself being completely honest with him?”

  “The same thing it says about me I guess.”

  She chuckled, “Aren’t we the perfect pair?”

  “Ha. Yeah, maybe the guys were right about us. Our lives would be easier if we could just be together.”

  His comment sent a small panic through her. It made him a little uncomfortable that he’d said it. He had no idea where it came from.

  He changed the subject.

  “The day you had the abortion I prayed for you.”

  Her head popped up. She looked at him in shock.

  He chuckled.

  “I know right. See, that’s how much I love you. I was willing to talk to God just for you even though I had sworn him off.”

  She laughed and was very touched.

  “What did you pray for?”

  “I asked him if He would fix you, make you okay, then I would forgive you and never leave your side.”

  She was in awe of him at that moment. She laid her hand over her heart.

  He continued, “He did His part and now I feel like I’m breaking my promise to God.”

  “Blake, you didn’t break your promise. You have never left my side and I’m grateful. This is just the next phase of our lives. I don’t feel like you abandoned me and I hope you don’t feel like I abandoned you. I will always be here if you need me. It doesn’t matter how much time or space comes between us. We can always pick up where we left off.”

  He put his forehead on hers and sighed.

  “You promised me that I wouldn’t completely lose you.”

  “And I meant it.”

  “Sometimes it feels like it.”

  “I know it does sweetie, but even when you can’t see me, I’m there. I always got your back. Have a little faith.”

  He nodded then said, “On the baby’s birthday I’ll always be there with you if you need me. Both of them will just have to have a fit and we can figure out something to tell them, but I will not leave you to deal with it alone. If you don’t want anybody else to know you don’t have to tell anyone and you know I’ll take it to my grave. Whatever you need, it’s yours.”

  It made her eyes sting. She bit her lip and just nodded. He looked at their joined hands again and saw his gold watch that she bought him years ago for a birthday.

  “Aww Jaz, I gotta get out of here.”

  She nodded and stood up pulling him off the sofa. They just stared at each other for a long moment then he hugged her. She reluctantly broke their embrace and wiped at her face.

  “Go. You should go.”

  “Bye Jaz.”

  “Bye.”

  With that, he was gone. She wondered how long it would be until their next stolen moment.

  Chapter 26: The Return Home

  Another month had passed since Blake and Jasmine had seen each other outside of a few times they had to chat whenever he came home to get more clothes. Even though their conversations were brief she could tell not being in his own space was starting to wear on him. She didn’t doubt he loved Amber and wanted to eventually marry her, but she knew him too well.

  The fact that this arrangement wasn’t on his terms had to be annoying him. He hated to be pushed into doing something but she knew he loved Amber enough to make the sacrifice. It disturbed her that it was getting a little easier to be without him as a constant in her life. It was now a dull ache instead of a heavy weight constantly bearing down on her chest. She felt like they were losing their strong connection.

  Her cell phone rang. She sat up in bed and picked it up from the nightstand. It was Blake’s mom. She smiled.

  “Hey Ms. Lisa. How are you?”

  “Hi sweetie. I am wonderful. How are you?”

  “I’m pretty good.”

  “Well sweetie I’m calling because I woke up this morning and decided to have a barbecue. I want to see you. I miss you so much. I know why you haven’t been to see me and I understand, but enough is enough.”

  Jasmine laughed, “Well what’s the occasion?”

  “Jasmine, you would not believe the changes that have happened since Frank got better. I’m just so happy and I wanted to say thank you for everything that you did to make it happen. I just wanted to have a celebration.”

  “Aww, that’s so sweet.”

  “I’m going to make it extremely hard for you to say no because I am gonna make your favorite cake.”

  “Oh, you’re gonna make me a caramel cake?”

  “Yes, I am.”

  “Well then I’m there. What time?”

  Lisa laughed.

  “We’re gonna start at about three. Your parents will be here so bring your herd and Derrick. I need to spend some time with my future son-in-law since you and Blake refuse to honor an old woman’s wishes.”

  Jasmine laughed.

  “Well I’m sure the roommates will be there since it’s free food, b
ut Derrick is out of town on business. He is due back today though.”

  “Well alright, you can bring him by some other time if he can’t make it.”

  “What do you want me to bring.”

  “A big hug and kiss for me.”

  “Okay, let me go round up the gang.”

  “Bye sweetie.”

  “Bye.”

  Her Saturday with no plans was looking up. This worked out great because her last appointment was at noon. She was excited that she would get to see Lisa. She missed her so much. This would also be her first time seeing Frank since the surgery. She didn’t know how that would go. Seeing Blake would be a little bittersweet because she knew Amber would block every interaction they might try to have.

  It made her think to call Derrick and give him a heads up.

  He groggily answered on the second ring, “Hello.”

  “Hey honey.”

  “You okay?”

  “Yeah I’m fine. I just wanted to let you know about my plans for today.”

  “What’s up?”

  She bit her lip nervously, “Blake’s mom called and invited us to a barbecue this afternoon. So after my last client I’m going to head over. I don’t know what time you get in but it will probably be all day so you should come by if you’re not too tired.”

  She added the last part to let him know she had nothing to hide. His silence lasted a little too long and it made her fidget.

  “I doubt if I’ll be able to make it, but enjoy yourself.”

  “Are you mad?”

  He snapped, “Would it matter?”

  She snapped back, “Derrick I think you’re being absolutely selfish. Give me a break. These people are important to me. They are a part of my life whether you like it or not. I have done everything you’ve asked of me where Blake is concerned. Either you trust me or you don’t.”

  “Jasmine, do whatever you want, I’m going back to sleep.”

  He hung up.

  She wanted to throw the phone across the room but thought better of it. She got out of bed and got a pair of sweat pants out to put under her night shirt. She could feel the resentment settling in and she didn’t know if she could fight it. She set out to wake everybody up and invite them.

  ∞∞∞

  Despite how it started, Jasmine’s day had been a breeze. When they arrived at the barbeque the guys got the drinks they’d bought out of the trunk while the girls headed toward the backyard. They were being led by their noses to the sweet smelling smoke of the grill. Jasmine opened the gate and saw her mom first. She hugged Jasmine.