Color Me Blind (A Divine Love Story Book 1)

by Melinda Michelle

  That fool had lost his mind, but he was also the fool that had her heart. She dropped the bag of soup and Pepto on her bed, peeled off her shoes and dress as she headed for the bathroom she shared with Carmen.

  She washed off her make-up and put acne medicine on the two trouble spots that looked to be brewing. She was experiencing so many emotions that she didn’t know which one was leading. She thought she should be crying because she had a sick feeling that her once very promising relationship was now a dream deferred.

  How serious could she have been about marrying this man if she was willing to make a choice that would essentially mean choosing another man? She had been studying marriage in the Bible. She knew that according to it, she would have to forsake all others for her husband. She couldn’t do it. In her heart she knew she couldn’t.

  The only person she could and had forsaken all others for was Blake. Hmph, wasn’t that something? Life would be easier if she was with Blake. That thought made her pause and frown. Now where did that come from? She simply wasn’t attracted to him. Why is that Jasmine?

  The only reason you say you’re not attracted to him is because he’s white. Everything else you absolutely adore about him. Why was her subconscious attacking her? She wasn’t prejudice, so that couldn’t be it. She just wasn’t attracted to white men. It was that simple.

  She dressed in her pajamas and looked at the clock. It was 2 A.M. She didn’t care if he was asleep. He would just have to wake up because Amber’s car wasn’t outside. She put on her slipper socks and headed across the hall to Blake’s room.

  She tapped on the door lightly and was shocked to hear, “Yeah, what is it?”

  She said, “It’s me love.”

  He didn’t say anything, so she just walked in and closed the door behind her as she leaned against it. He looked a little off to her.

  She said, “Hey love, what are you still doing up?”

  Blake was hoping she would have just walked away but he knew better. Well at least she had on baggy pants and a shirt, his pants and his shirt to be exact. The make-up was gone. She had girl gunk on her face, but oh God she wasn’t wearing a bra. Why was he noticing this all of a sudden? Did she not wear one at night usually?

  Look at her face, Blake, just look at her face.

  He managed to say, “Huh. What?”

  She frowned, “Okay B, what’s up with you, seriously?”

  She put the Pepto and soup on his night stand, climbed into bed with him and lay facing him. She smelled amazing. He backed up a little bit.

  Blake sighed, “Nothing Jaz. I’m okay, just a strange night.”

  She said, “Eww, your breath stinks.”

  He moved in closer to her face and blew his breath all in it.

  She laughed and playfully punched him, “Boy move.”

  He pinched her nose, “So why are you in my bed instead of Derrick’s?”

  “I haven’t been in his bed in several months.”

  She sighed and a tear fell. Her façade of strength always came tumbling down when Blake was around. She didn’t have to always be strong with him. He was strong enough to hold her up.

  “Hey, hey, what’s wrong, what happened?”

  She took a breath, “Well you were right. He did propose.”

  “Okay…but…”

  “But it came with an ultimatum.”

  “An ultimatum for what? I thought you guys had finally gotten back on track.”

  She sarcastically laughed, “Yeah, so did I. Well apparently he loves me so much he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. What he won’t do is allow me to spend the rest of my life with you!”

  Blake stared at her for a long moment searching her eyes for laughter and then he blinked.

  “Excuse me.”

  “Apparently he has a severe problem with our friendship and I quote, he will not have a wife who spends as much time with another man as I do with you.”

  “Wait, whoa, there is absolutely nothing going on between us. Jaz, we have done every ridiculous thing they have asked to make them comfortable.”

  “I know, but he says his instincts never lead him wrong. He says he talked to my mom. She told him that there was nothing going on between us and there never has been. She also said that I would never date a white guy so he didn’t have to worry about that. Then she said that we did have a special friendship and I wouldn’t be so quick to walk away from it. Obviously he ignored that last bit of advice.”

  For some reason unbeknownst to him Blake couldn’t understand the profound hurt that manifested because she seemed to agree with her mom that she would never date a white man. Or was it just him she couldn’t date because he was white?

  She continued, “I just looked at him like he was stupid. I mean he couldn’t possibly be serious. He never once said anything that final before to me about our friendship. How could he even ask me that? I always thought once we got married and stuff we wouldn’t spend as much time with each other, but I never thought that us getting married would separate us forever.”

  Blake said, “Well I can understand him wanting to spend as much time with you as possible. So we cut back a little on hanging out, no biggie”

  “Cut back, what else is there to cut out Blake? No, he doesn’t want me to be around you at all. Once the vows are done I have to walk away from this lifelong friendship. How could I even consider marrying a man that would force me to give up the one person who means the world to me?”

  She looked into his gorgeous blue eyes and said, “I would never walk away from you because someone wanted me to. We have been through everything. You have been there for me when I was at my lowest. If he feels that way then he cannot possibly be the man for me.”

  Blake felt the lump in his throat, but he cleared it.

  “Jasmine, this man is offering you forever. Are you sure you want to walk away from that, I mean it’s just me.”

  She sat up, “So what are you saying Blake that if a woman gave you an ultimatum you would stop being my friend to be with her?”

  “Calm down, and no. Obviously we have already been down that road but I know how much you love this guy.”

  “Well, he is certainly not the guy I thought he was. There would never be anything like that between you and me. I would never date a white man and you like those bony lil white girls, which clearly I am not. We have never even kissed. It’s just so asinine.”

  He swallowed hard. There it was again. Was he actually being prejudice by not allowing himself to see Jasmine like that? He didn’t want to know the answer.

  “Yeah, it’s just so asinine.”

  Since she left for her date all he had been able to think about was her body wrapped around his. He had been driving himself insane trying to get back to just being her friend. He loved her more than he had ever loved another woman, but it was never like that. It was always untainted. Now he didn’t know what territory he was in. It hurt like hell that she was emphatically saying it would never happen. There was a part of him that was starting not to care what color she was. He just wanted her.

  For the moment though, he was grateful to have her all to himself. Even though Amber would probably cut him he wanted to hold Jasmine in his arms just for tonight.

  He closed his eyes and took a breath, “Look Jasmine, let’s just sleep on it okay and see how you feel tomorrow. We can talk about it then.”

  She looked at him and pushed his hair back from his face, something she always did. Suddenly her touch began to stir things in him that it never had before. When she gently placed her lips on his temple he had to suppress a shudder. He was scared to death. This could only end badly.

  She asked, “You feeling better?”

  She used the kiss to check his temperature. He felt a little warm.

  It took him a moment to realize what she was talking about,

  “Oh yeah. Thanks for the medicine but I’m better now.”

  He kissed her nose, “Let’s get some sleep.”

 
She said, “Amber would kill me if she knew I was in here.”

  “And Derrick wouldn’t?”

  “Well as far as I’m concerned Derrick is no longer a factor.”

  “Jasmine what does it mean that you can walk away from forever just to be my friend?”

  There it was, point blank in her face. She didn’t have a clue how to answer it. His stare was so intense and hopeful. She took the cowardly way out.

  “Like you said, let’s just sleep on it.”

  His head was screwed up so he wouldn’t judge her for evading the question. Blake opened his arms so she could lay her head on his chest. He ran his fingers through her hair and began to scratch her scalp as she moaned. He held her tight with the other arm. It felt so natural to him to have her in his arms. He had a lifetime of memories of her in his arms. She really was the only woman he ever really wanted, sometimes needed, to hold. Jasmine felt safe and loved. She wrapped her arms around his waist and willed her emotions to let her have a moment of peace.

  He said, “Dang, I can’t believe you got rid of the curls. Now what am I supposed to play with to put us to sleep.”

  She smiled and said, “This is the new me. Deal with it!”

  They both fell victim to their own honest painful thoughts of a long overdue soul search as they tried to drift off to sleep.

  Chapter 28: The Unexpected

  Amber invited Blake to escort her to some formal event for a charitable organization her job sponsored. He really could care less about going. At one point he thought he was falling for Amber on a level that involved rings, houses and white picket fences. But having Jasmine pushed out of his life by Amber left a bitter taste in his mouth.

  Their relationship had been on life support for the last few months. He knew he wanted out. He just didn’t know how not to hurt her. She didn’t deserve it because it wasn’t her fault he just realized he was in love with his best friend. Nothing made sense anymore. Everything he thought he knew about his life changed the day Jasmine became a sexy woman in his eyes. He was tired of the ambiguity in his life.

  That was nearly two months ago. He had been in perdition ever since. The fact that Jasmine was single now was not helping either. What the hell was going on? Why now? He was waiting for Jasmine to get home with his tux because he got caught up in court and didn’t have time to pick it up. She was running behind. Come on Jaz. You’re going to make me late. Just then his door flew open.

  “Sorry, I’m late B. You won’t believe the random stuff that happened to me today, but you know I would never let you down. So I’m here now. Come on Cinderelli let’s get you dressed for the ball.”

  He said, “Ha, ha whatever.”

  He snatched the tux from her. He was thankful she had on jeans and a loose fitting t-shirt because lately her body had become his kryptonite. Jasmine popped him on the top of the head for snatching the suit as she walked to his dresser to pick out cologne. She hadn’t actually looked at him as he walked into the bathroom.

  When he walked back out he was wearing just the suit pants that were unbuttoned revealing the top of his black boxer briefs. She had never noticed his body was ripped because Blake was not one to be shirtless. That was Damon’s thing.

  She knew he, Damon and Carmen worked out regularly but still this was news to her. His v-cuts made her tilt her head and bite her bottom lip. Oh my goodness, Jasmine what the hell? This is Blake. You can’t look at him like that.

  “Hello, earth to Jaz.” Blake asked, “Are you listening to me?”

  She snapped back to attention.

  “Huh? What did you say B?”

  “Where are you?”

  “I’m here. I just got lost in space for a minute. What did you need?”

  “Well back on planet Earth I asked if you could pick out some cufflinks to go with this.”

  “Oh yeah right, cufflinks. Yeah, I can do that.”

  Her body was tingling for all the wrong reasons in all the right places.

  Lord help me. What is wrong with me? All of a sudden it didn’t matter much what color he was. All she knew at this moment was he was a very gorgeous man that she wanted. This time when he came back into the room he had on the crisp white dress shirt. He walked over to her so she could help him button up. She was thankful he was fully dressed. He extended an arm to her to fix the cufflink.

  “Jaz, you okay? Why are your hands shaking? You’re usually as steady as a rock.”

  She stammered because the man smelled edible.

  “Uh yeah, I know. Just uh, low blood sugar I guess. Haven’t really eaten today.”

  His raised a brow, Jasmine not eating, yeah right. He grabbed her chin to look into her face. She thought she would melt. His eyes were bluer than she had ever seen them. She could swear he could see into her soul.

  She gulped hard, “Uh, you look nice.”

  “Thanks.”

  He gripped her chin a little tighter when she tried to pull away.

  “What’s wrong Jaz, you okay?”

  She snatched her face away causing him to take a step back. Since when couldn’t he touch her?

  “I’m fine B. Just get ready okay.”

  Carmen came into the room and said, “Amber’s here. Do you want me to send her up?”

  She looked back and forth between the two and could swear that Jasmine was blushing though it was hard to tell since her skin didn’t betray her. He panicked. He didn’t want her to see Jasmine in his room.

  “No, tell her I will be down in five minutes.”

  Carmen looked at the two of them and thought Jasmine was telling herself a lie if she thought for one second that she was not attracted to that sexy man.

  “No problem,” she said as she closed the door.

  He knew something was wrong with Jasmine, but he couldn’t keep Amber waiting. He didn’t want to give her any reason to complain anymore about their friendship. Jasmine quickly fixed his other cufflink and grabbed the bowtie off the dresser as Blake finished buttoning the shirt. She tied the bowtie on trying ridiculously hard to avoid his eyes. She was so unbelievably embarrassed about the thoughts she was having. Why was she ready to rip out Amber’s hair just thinking about her touching Blake?

  This was insane. She was ready to get out of the twilight zone and into the normalcy of her room. Blake looked himself over in the mirror and flashed that crooked smile of his she adored. But now it had a different effect on her. Oh God Jasmine, get out, get out! Blake was walking toward her. She knew he was about to kiss her nose but she swore if his mouth came within inches of hers she was going to nibble on that bottom lip like it was a chew toy.

  She turned abruptly and said, “You look nice. Have fun.”

  She was out the door before he could react. His first instinct was to go after her but he knew Amber was waiting. He would deal with her later.

  He went down stairs and saw Amber in a gorgeous lavender gown with shimmering emeralds dripping from her ears, neck and wrist. Her red hair was swept up into a messy chignon and those green eyes were as piercing as always.

  He kissed her cheek, “You look amazing. You ready to go?”

  She smiled, “Absolutely handsome.”

  ∞∞∞

  Later that night Amber ended up in Blake’s bed because he couldn’t think of a reason fast enough why she shouldn’t be. It had been a long time since they made love. It was a very uneventful night because the whole time all he could think about was Jasmine and how he was somehow betraying her by being with Amber. He knew Amber could sense he was somewhere else but she was the one that insisted on staying over.

  It was ridiculous. He couldn’t sleep. He really wanted to know what was bothering Jasmine. He didn’t like tension between them but it was three in the morning. He looked over at Amber who was lightly snoring. He gently slid out of bed, put on some sweats and a t-shirt.

  He walked across the way to Jasmine’s room. Did he knock? Normally if he knew she didn’t have company he would just walk in, but things were
so crazy now he couldn’t depend on normal. He knocked lightly. No answer. He knocked again. No answer. He turned the knob and was relieved to find it unlocked.

  He walked in to see her sprawled all over the bed. It looked like she had a rough night.

  He sat down on the side of the bed and playfully poked her nose and said, “Hey, wake up.”

  She swatted at his hand. He laughed.

  “Wake up Jaz.”

  She stirred, “What?”

  He shook her, “Wake up.”

  She blinked several times, “Blake, what the…?”

  He had no idea what he was supposed to say so he went for simple.

  “I couldn’t sleep.”

  “So take a pill and get out.”

  She rolled away from him.

  He pulled the covers back.

  “If I can’t sleep then you have to stay up with me.”

  She slapped her hand down in frustration and finally just sat up.

  “What Blake. What the heck do you want at,” she looked over at the clock, “3:14 in the morning?”

  He lay down in her bed, folded his arms across his stomach and looked up at her. She was definitely a grumpy sleeper. She was ready to knock him out. He had it so bad for her because all he could see was how adorable she was.

  “You butt wipe, what do you want?”

  He said, “Some pancakes. Will you make me some?”

  She gave him a glare he hadn’t seen in a long time. He braced himself because he knew she was about to hit him. She hit him three times with her pillow then rolled back away from him in an attempt to ignore him. He kept poking her and pulling her hair. She sat up again, this time her eyes were venomous.

  “Now Jaz, you know the only way for you to get some sleep is to just get up with me and help me make some pancakes.”

  She threw a small tantrum and then got out of the bed. Blake had the patience to aggravate her until he got what he wanted. This was one of the things she despised most about him. All of a sudden she was extremely aware that Blake was in her bed. All she had on was a night shirt.