The Tchaikovsky Affair

by Swift, Marie

  “So when you said you were going to hold me hostage…” Jackie suggested, while sucking tenderly on Shannon’s pulse point.

  “The way I see it, we have a full 36 hours before rehearsal, and I’ve decided that neither one of us is leaving my apartment unless there is a fire or we have run out of food entirely.” Shannon shifted to kiss Jackie squarely on the lips, wasting no time in plunging her tongue deeply into Jackie’s warm, inviting mouth.

  Jackie groaned into the kiss, her mind flooding with images of what they could find to do in 36 hours.

  This woman would be the death of her.

  Eight

  Jackie woke up to the delicious feeling of wet kisses blazing a trail across her stomach. She grinned, wondering for at least the hundredth time in the past two months how she’d gotten so lucky. She had never before had such an attentive lover; usually she was the one to show her love with gratuitous acts of passion.

  “Mmmm, Shannon,” she murmured, her voice still gravelly with sleep.

  Shannon immediately halted her actions before resting her chin on Jackie’s stomach. “Good morning, Jacinta!” she grinned.

  At the sight of her adorable girlfriend peering out from under the covers, Jackie burst out laughing. She desperately tried to quell her laughing fit when Shannon frowned, but it only made her laugh more. Sliding her way up Jackie’s body, Shannon flopped down next to Jackie, a pout on her face.

  “What is so funny?”

  “You’re just so adorable.”

  “I was going for sexy,” Shannon retorted playfully, the pout still on full display.

  Jackie turned on her side so that she was facing Shannon. She ran a hand over Shannon’s taut stomach, attempting to unlock the blonde’s tightly crossed arms. “You are sexy,” she hummed, before placing several kisses against Shannon’s jaw.

  “You’re just trying to get me to finish what I started,” Shannon said, uncrossing her arms and wrapping one around Jackie’s neck.

  Jackie leaned down to kiss the blonde fully, before replying simply, “Yep.” As an after thought, she added, “but I do find you incredibly sexy.”

  “Oh you do, do you?” Shannon grinned devilishly. “Well then, maybe I will continue what I started,” she added, while trailing her index finger along Jackie’s body. Shivering at the light touch, Jackie tried to gain access to Shannon’s lips, but the blonde kept pulling back.

  “I said maybe I would continue, not definitely.”

  “You are a horrible tease.”

  “On the contrary, I’m an excellent tease,” Shannon said huskily, while tracing idle patterns with her forefinger along the smooth flesh of Jackie’s inner thigh. Jackie tried unsuccessfully to shift her body down the bed, seeking contact.

  Shannon began to move her hand further up to exactly where Jackie wanted it, when a tinny version of Spring from Vivaldi’s Four Seasons broke through the tense air. Jackie groaned as Shannon leaned over her to answer her ringing phone. She didn’t know she was dating a walking cliché.

  “Hello?...Oh, Mr. Carlton, hi! What can I do for you?”

  Jackie watched the one-sided conversation and tried to get Shannon’s attention when she frowned. What’s wrong? she mouthed. Shannon held up a finger, indicating for her to wait.

  “Yes, I understand. Ok, we’ll be right in….Uh, yes, I’ll tell her. Bye.” After pressing the end button on the phone, Shannon sighed and pushed herself off the edge of the bed.

  “So? What was that about?” Jackie asked, eyebrows raised.

  “We have to go in and have a meeting with the producers,” Shannon shouted, now deep within her closet looking for clean clothes. Laundry hadn’t seemed to be a priority recently.

  “Um, why?” Jackie asked, also getting out of the bed to get dressed.

  “I don’t…I don’t know, he didn’t say,” Shannon said. She slid a pink fitted t-shirt over her toned torso, before continuing, “I think he saw the interview yesterday. I think he knows about us.”

  “Do you think that’s what this is about?” Jackie asked, suddenly worried that her slip might have more consequences than she’d originally realized. She walked to the drawer Shannon had given her and pulled out a pair of dark wash tailored jeans.

  “I really have no idea. He didn’t seem too happy about something and just told me that we needed to meet as soon as possible. I think he knows about us, because he asked me if I’d tell you to come in, too. If he didn’t know, why wouldn’t he just call you separately?” Shannon ran a brush through her unruly hair, trying to tame it into a somewhat presentable style.

  “Maybe he’s just busy and wanted you to call me for him? You are concertmaster after all,” Jackie offered hopefully.

  “We’ll see,” Shannon shrugged, wandering into the bathroom. Having witnessed the producers’ anger more than once in the past few years, she was definitely worried about what this impromptu urgent meeting would entail.

  Jackie had rarely seen the blonde anything but optimistic in the past few months and so Shannon’s concern was rubbing off on her. Maybe the producers had seen the interview, but so what? Why would they care if they were dating? It shouldn’t matter to them, right? Her mind was racing when she joined Shannon in the bathroom. Since Jackie tended to wear her emotions on her sleeve, the blonde instantly noticed Jackie’s apprehension. Trying to placate her girlfriend, Shannon placed one hand gently on her hip and the other on her cheek, before guiding her face in for a light kiss.

  “Hey, it’ll be okay. I’m sure whatever it is will be no big deal and I’ll have you back in bed to finish what I started in no time.” Shannon flashed her one of her typical magic smiles.

  Despite her lingering trepidation, Jackie returned the smile genuinely. Jackie reached for her toothbrush as Shannon applied some mascara. Jackie found their morning ritual peaceful. She loved moving around the bathroom fluidly in sync with Shannon, occasionally passing things to each other in silence. The domesticity of it all should have scared her, but it didn’t, not in the least. She loved going to rehearsals together, cooking dinner together, falling in bed and passing out immediately together, both understanding the sheer exhaustion that all day rehearsals could bring. After only dating for two months, Jackie had already started imagining their future, and it didn’t scare her. It didn’t scare her, because from the way the blonde knew exactly what she was feeling all the time and was constantly doing little thoughtful things, she could tell that Shannon was imagining their future together, too.

  * * *

  “What the hell were you thinking?!” Carlton’s question was directed (inexplicably) at Shannon.

  “Um, sir,” Jackie piped up, feeling Shannon’s anxiety bubbling to the surface, despite the fact that they weren’t touching. “I was the one who blurted it out. You should be mad at me.”

  “Oh, I am mad at you, but Shannon has been with the company longer, and yet, she confirmed it. She knows what something like this could do, yet she didn’t even try to cover it up.” Carlton was now pacing around the room, while Washington leaned back on his desk, glaring at the two women.

  “I’m right here!” Shannon exclaimed, incensed that Carlton insisted on talking about her as if she wasn’t there.

  “Do you have any idea what this little fling you two have going on has cost us?” Washington spoke evenly, but with an astounding authoritative presence.

  “It isn’t a little fling,” Shannon answered calmly. Jackie struggled to bite back a smile at these words. It felt wonderful having her feelings validated.

  “Don’t be so naïve, Shannon. You have no idea what is at stake here.” Shannon narrowed her eyes at Carlton. She hated being treated like a child, like she needed someone’s permission to enter into a loving, mature relationship.

  “Just since your little stunt yesterday, we have had five of our biggest patrons and donors pull out, saying that they will not support an organization which pushes homosexuality on the general public.”

  “Pushes homosexuality?
! How the hell are we doing that?” Jackie exclaimed incredulously.

  “Well, they evidently weren’t thrilled that an interview that was supposed to be about the music and the upcoming concert became a platform for you guys to espouse your beliefs.”

  “There was no ‘espousing of beliefs’,” Jackie gesticulated with air quotation marks. “We simply stated we were in a relationship, not that homosexual marriage should be legal!”

  Neither producer cared very much about Jackie’s opinion when there was so much money at stake. Carlton went to his desk and took out a large manila file from one of the drawers, before dropping it with a resounding thud on the desk.

  “How…how much are we talking?” Shannon asked hesitantly, having remained fairly quiet for much of the conversation.

  “A lot. We’re talking a lot of money here. Shannon, you know the Thompsons and the Hendersons. They both pulled out their donations for this year and threatened to withhold further donations. The Johnsons also retracted their donation this year, and Edie Faulkner wrote us out of her will. The last one to call in this morning was John Holt, who informed us he would no longer be a patron of the Philharmonic. It’s hard to estimate the projected loss, but this year alone, it is $500,000 down the drain. It will easily cripple us this year, but could continue to do so for years to come. Edie had promised us at least a million in her will,” Carlton explained slowly.

  Shannon inhaled deeply after hearing these numbers. She literally could not believe what was happening to her. Just because she was happy in a relationship with another woman, the welfare of one of the most reputable fine arts groups in the world was on the line.

  “Well, our upcoming concert is sold out,” Shannon began.

  “One concert, Shannon! One. Concert. That’s enough to pay for the salaries of the people sitting in this room and nothing more,” Washington chided.

  “Shannon, I know you’re always thinking, and I’m sure your brain is working overtime to try to fix this in the most diplomatic way possible, but Melissa and I have already discussed this and can only think of one way to fix this problem,” Carlton added.

  “First, this affair between the two of you will end and it will end right now. Second, you will both publically denounce ever being involved with the other. I don’t care what excuse you make up, but you will make it convincing. Lastly, Shannon, you will wine and dine the Thompsons and the Hendersons and apologize to them and get them to give back their donations. And you will do all of this quickly, as we only have two weeks before our major concert of the year and do not need any more distractions.”

  Before either had the chance to protest, Carlton continued after a brief pause, “You will do these things, or your contracts will not be renewed.”

  “You can’t fire us for being gay!” Shannon shouted.

  “No, but I can fire you for having an inappropriate relationship with a colleague.”

  “…wouldn’t happen if one of us was a man,” Jackie mumbled under her breath.

  “I don’t think there is anything left to say here. I believe that the right choice is obvious,” Carlton said, opening the door for the women to leave.

  As the two women walked in silence to the elevator, tears were streaming down Shannon’s cheeks. Wiping them away hotly, she braved a glance at Jackie. Through her own hazy vision, she could see Jackie’s eyes glistening with unshed tears. Both desperately wanted to break the silence, but neither could figure out what to say. After pushing the down button, Shannon no longer felt she had the strength to remain upright and she let her body slide down against the portion of wall under the elevator console. Jackie followed suit, and for several long moments, the two stared at the abstract artwork on the opposite wall, trying in vain to process the last half hour. How had their morning started so well and ended up such a catastrophic mess?

  “We could…we could keep it a secret,” Shannon offered, already knowing what Jackie’s response would be.

  “We can’t.”

  “I know.”

  The elevator doors opened and closed behind them, but neither noticed or had the energy to move from their spots on the floor.

  “I can’t be the one that comes between you and your career, Shannon,” Jackie said after several beats.

  “Don’t you dare pin this all on me! It’s your career at stake, too!” Shannon replied, her voice rising.

  “But I don’t care. I would just as gladly play my cello in the damn street.”

  “So, what? I’m just supposed to give all of this up to be with you because you are privileged enough not to need this job?”

  Jackie winced. “You know that’s not what I meant. It’s just that…this is your dream, Shannon, not mine. You are concertmaster of the New York fucking Philharmonic. You can’t walk away from it because of this,” Jackie gestured between the two of them. Shannon’s heart constricted at the thought of Jackie belittling their relationship. Maybe it didn’t mean as much to the brunette as she’d thought.

  “You’re right,” Shannon sighed, resigned. “So I guess this is it.” Please, just ask me to stay with you, and I will, Shannon thought. Her eyes searched Jackie’s, looking for any indication of hesitation on Jackie’s part. For once, the soulful brown eyes didn’t betray her true emotions and remained unfeeling.

  “This is it.” Please choose me over your career, Jackie thought to herself. She kept her breathing in check and her tears at bay, knowing that she had to make this sacrifice for Shannon.

  The elevator once again opened up behind them and a janitor stepped out. Jackie stood on shaky legs and started for the elevator, enduring one backwards glance.

  “So, I’ll come by sometime to get my things,” Jackie stated resolutely.

  Shannon nodded in agreement. “We’ll see each other at rehearsal,” Shannon responded, her voice catching at the end, as if she was trying to convince herself that this wasn’t the end.

  Shannon leaned her head back against the cold wall when she heard the doors shut behind her. She sighed deeply as tears began to make their way down her cheeks. She didn’t bother to wipe them away, knowing there was an endless supply. She racked her brain, futilely trying to understand why Jackie had let her go without so much as a disagreement, let alone a full-on fight.

  As soon as the doors shut, Jackie sank to the floor of the elevator, the tears she had so bravely held back now falling freely. She couldn’t believe Shannon was picking her career over this relationship. Once again, she had fallen harder and faster than the other person, only this time it was not her own passion and ambition getting in the way.

  Both women’s thoughts turned to the tragic story Michael had told them on that fateful day that had started their relationship. Just as this piece had brought together and destroyed Tchaikovsky and Kotek, it would mark the beginning and the end of their relationship.

  If there ever were an example of life imitating art, this was it.

  Nine

  The two weeks before opening night were usually a chaotic mix of excitement and abject terror. The entire company was moved from their rehearsal space into their performance space at the Lincoln Center. Rehearsals started earlier and always ran late. Temper tantrums were always just slightly beneath the surface, and it constantly seemed that they weren’t prepared for the upcoming performances. These two weeks were less than affectionately deemed the “hell weeks” by the ensemble and crew. For Jackie and Shannon, that nickname didn’t even begin to cover it.

  The day after Carlton had given them their ultimatum, they had scheduled another interview with Linda Walters over at Time Warner 17. It was awkward, to say the least. They didn’t speak one word to each other when the cameras weren’t rolling. When the cameras were rolling, they half-heartedly repealed their previous confession, making up some inconceivable story about how they had done it on a dare, because you know those musicians are such jokesters…or something. They didn’t exactly try to be convincing, and they seriously doubted that anyone had been convinced.
But what did it matter? It was clear from their demeanor that they were no longer together, so it should appease the apparent homophobes who regularly donated to the Philharmonic.

  Of course, their duet notably suffered. The two both heard the murmuring throughout the rest of the ensemble about how there was no spark like there had been just a week before. Gallo had heard the story, and though he sympathized, he was none too pleased that the featured piece was “being flushed down the toilet” as he so eloquently put it.

  Ever the dramatist, Gallo had erupted at them on Wednesday, which marked three days after they’d broken up and a particularly bad rehearsal day for the two of them.

  “This is absolutely unacceptable! Do you think we have months to work on this? No! We have nine days to get this right, and the fucking union makes me give you guys one of those days off. So please, kindly take your heads out of your asses and give me something to work with!”

  Outbursts like this one were not uncommon at this point in the process, and certainly not uncommon from Gallo. Shannon had learned not to take them personally, but from Jackie’s slumped posture and the downtrodden look on her face, the brunette was having a much harder time dealing with it. It didn’t help that this particular tirade had taken place in front of the entire ensemble.

  By Friday, Gallo had become resigned to the fact that unless the two women were able to reconcile, he would have to make do with the current state of the duet. To be clear, it wasn’t bad by most people’s standards; the two were professional and worked together well, seamlessly transitioning from section to section, but there was no magic. Gallo had once said that you could tangibly feel the passion oozing out of their instruments and bodies. That aspect of the duet was gone.

  It was now Saturday and nearing the three hour mark of their morning rehearsal. Shannon couldn’t remember ever feeling this exhausted. All she wanted to do was take a long, scalding bath, curl up in her warm bed and attempt to forget this week. Glancing across the podium at Jackie, she could tell that the brunette felt the exact same way. When Jackie met her gaze, she offered a small smile, determined to be professional and civil. Jackie immediately looked away, pretending to become involved with the music once again.