The Tchaikovsky Affair

by Swift, Marie

  As Gallo worked with the percussion section, Shannon watched Jackie and Stacey intently. The two seemed to be bickering about something, Stacey gesticulating wildly and repeatedly flipping a page back and forth. Under normal circumstances Shannon would have laughed, but seeing the broken cellist just made her heart clench.

  An hour later, Gallo finally gave them a half an hour for lunch, and Shannon raced out of the building, Hayley hot on her heels.

  “So, are we going to talk about this?” Hayley asked when she’d finally caught up to the petite blonde.

  “There is nothing to talk about. Jackie and I were dating, and now we’re not. Isn’t that how it works?” Shannon’s words were firm, but Hayley could sense the lingering sadness underneath.

  “But that’s not quite what happened. Look, if you ask me, I think you’re both being idiots.”

  Shannon snapped her head around to shoot Hayley a fiery glare. “Which is why I didn’t ask you.”

  Hayley sighed out of frustration. “Shannon, I know it’s hard, but you two really seemed to have something good going.”

  “It’s more complicated than that,” Shannon replied, dejected. The two grabbed some food as they made their way to one of the many green rooms backstage.

  “Why? Because you’re scared to lose your job? The New York Philharmonic isn’t everything. Go work for the Boston Pops, or I’m sure the San Francisco Symphony would be eager to have you.”

  “She didn’t even try to stop me,” Shannon said, seemingly in her own world. “She just let me walk away.”

  Before Hayley had the chance to respond, Jackie’s stand partner came bursting through the door and strode up to their table with purpose.

  “You need to fix this,” Stacey said, before sitting down completely uninvited at their table.

  “Stacey, if you’re here to talk about Jackie, then you’re wasting your time.” Shannon was beating herself up enough internally that she really didn’t need to be berated by Jackie’s stand partner.

  “Do you remember what you said on the first day of the season?”

  Shannon cocked her head and raised an eyebrow, waiting for Stacey to elucidate her question.

  “I was only half listening because you were so cheerful and peppy that it actually hurt me a bit to listen, but I definitely remember you saying that if this all got too stressful, your door was always open. So, you pretty much have to listen to me,” Stacey said with a smirk, looking over to Hayley for validation. Hayley nodded in agreement.

  “Yeah, but that has nothing to do with my relationship with…”

  “It has everything to do with it! You see, Jackie is all mopey and depressed now and it’s affecting her abilities which has an affect on me…as her stand partner.”

  Shannon narrowed her eyes. “As her stand partner?”

  “Yes, she has one page turn to do, while the inside cellos are playing. ONE. And she keeps screwing it up, which just makes me look stupid. ONE PAGE TURN.”

  Shannon tilted her head slightly to the right, a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.

  “Okay, I can see why you’d be concerned…as her stand partner, but you have to realize that Jackie is a grown woman and a professional, and there’s nothing I can do about that. Of course, maybe I could help if I knew you were concerned for her personally,” Shannon goaded, unable to resist the usually insensitive Stacey.

  “Personally? I have no idea what you’re talking about. Jackie is my stand partner and when she’s upset, I suffer.” Stacey managed a small smile to show Shannon that she was taking it a bit personally. In the three years that they had been in the Philharmonic together, Shannon had never known Stacey to care about anyone else. She wasn’t surprised that Jackie had been the one to break her of this trait.

  “Mmhmm. Well, thank you for letting me know,” Shannon smiled at Stacey, before remembering the cause of this problem. “I’m not sure there’s anything I can do, though,” she added, her smile fading.

  “Well, I think you should try,” Stacey replied, before standing and leaving the room.

  Shannon sighed and looked at Hayley for encouragement. Hayley simply shook her head in silent support of Stacey.

  * * *

  Jackie let out a long sigh as she flopped back on her bed. She was so grateful that she finally had the day off. She planned on doing nothing more than moping around and sleeping. She toyed with the idea of watching a romantic comedy and eating copious bags of popcorn, but eventually decided she wasn’t that much of a masochist. She ran her index finger under her eyes to get rid of the slight wetness and sat back up. Looking around her barely used apartment, she sighed and could feel the heavy drops pooling at the bottom of her eyes once again. She dug into her purse and pulled out her phone, quickly pressing the 2 to call the second person on her speed dial list.

  “Daddy…” she whimpered slightly at the sound of her father’s soothing greeting.

  “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

  “Daddy,” she said again, her voice still plaintive. “I don’t know what to do.”

  “What’s wrong? You can tell me, Jacinta,” he urged again. Though her father had not been pleased in the least when he had found out his daughter’s sexuality, he had eventually come around. Luis Ortiz was a proud and pious man, but more than that he was a loyal man, and Jacinta was still his little girl. Hearing his usually vivacious daughter sounding so dismal and despondent tugged at his heart and threatened to break it. In that moment, Luis couldn’t remember why they had ever fought about Jackie’s sexuality; all he wanted was for her to be happy.

  Jackie told him the cliff’s notes version of the story, leaving out certain parts that weren’t exactly father-approved and ending with the painful events of the past week.

  “Oh, darling,” Luis said softly. “You must really like her.”

  “I think…I think I love her, Daddy.” As Jackie said these words, she felt tears streaming down her cheeks. She hadn’t actually entertained the notion that she could be in love with Shannon up until this point, but having said it out loud, she had no doubt that it was true.

  “I think I have a plan, Jacinta,” he said and Jackie could almost hear the glint in his eye.

  * * *

  Shannon adjusted her blue satin cocktail dress for maybe the twentieth time since she arrived at Sardi’s. She glanced at her watch and rolled her eyes. Of course they were late. Shannon took a deep breath and contemplated getting a drink from the bar before subsequently deciding against it. The last thing she needed was alcohol to provide her with loose lips.

  “Excuse me. Are you Ms. McClintock?” a middle-aged woman asked her.

  “Yes, that’s me! You must be Mrs. Henderson,” Shannon said, offering her hand for a handshake and plastering on a painfully sweet smile.

  Taking her outstretched hand, Mrs. Henderson smiled warmly at the younger woman. “Yes, but you can call me Betty. This is my husband George,” she said, placing her hand on his shoulder.

  Shannon shook his hand as well, when she noticed another couple walk in the door. After the three introduced themselves to the Thompsons, Lorie and Joe, the group was seated. They ordered wine and appetizers and engaged in some light small talk. Shannon wanted to roll her eyes at the insincere pleasantries, but refrained, ever the polite and professional woman she was raised to be.

  “So, Ms. McClintock, I must say we were surprised to be invited out to dinner with the concertmaster herself,” Lorie Thompson said after the group could squeeze no more substance out of the “spring is coming delightfully early, isn’t it?” conversation.

  “Were you?” Shannon asked, with a slight challenge in her voice. “And please, call me Shannon,” she requested for the fifth time that night.

  “Well, we weren’t sure we were still in the Philharmonic’s good graces,” Betty added.

  Shannon smiled weakly, trying desperately to keep up the façade. “We always try to make our most valued patrons feel welcome.”

  Ju
st then, the waiter arrived with their salads and calamari and she sighed in relief, hoping they could go back to the small talk for a few more minutes.

  To her surprise, it seemed that Lorie had sensed her unease and asked Shannon to tell them about the program they would be hearing on Saturday. Shannon smiled at her genuinely and began to talk animatedly about the music, something for which she never lost her passion. As she started to explain the duet in the featured Tchaikovsky piece, she found herself describing Jackie’s role in great detail, her eyes shining with love and compassion. This did not go unnoticed by her dinner guests.

  “So this Jackie Ortiz is quite a talented musician, then?” Joe asked kindly.

  “Oh my gosh, yes! She is so talented and passionate. She’s really a joy to work with,” Shannon replied, her eyes glossing over at the thought of what she was leaving behind.

  “Well, we’re certainly looking forward to it next weekend. This concert is always our favorite of the year,” Joe stated.

  “Okay, this small talk is ridiculous,” George added gruffly, having been silent for almost the rest of the conversation. “We all know why we’re here, so let’s just cut to the chase.”

  “George!” his wife admonished.

  “Betty, you know it’s true. The only reason Shannon is here is because she’s being forced by her producers to get our money back,” George added, looking pointedly at Shannon.

  She opened her mouth to protest, but knew she couldn’t convincingly deny what he had said.

  “That’s what I thought. Now, we appreciate the gesture, but as long as the Philharmonic continues to support such sinful behavior, I’m not sure that we can support them.”

  Shannon bit back a caustic retort, thinking about the hilarious irony that these two couples believed that they hadn’t been supporting many homosexual relationships in the past with their donations to fine arts organizations.

  “Look, as I’m sure you saw on TV a few days ago, Jackie and I have denounced ever being in a relationship together.” Shannon felt more and more guilty with every untrue word that passed through her lips.

  “Given the way you spoke about her tonight, dear, it’s hard for us to believe you,” Lorie added gently in a mothering tone.

  “I did not come here for you to try to discern whether or not I’m lying or whether or not my purported behavior is sinful. I came here to ask you to reconsider,” Shannon said, her tone taking on a decidedly more acerbic quality.

  “And we cannot possibly reconsider until we know the true nature of what was happening,” Joe said.

  “I really don’t think my personal life is of any concern to you and should not factor into your decision.”

  “It is of our concern when you support homosexuality in an interview about the Philharmonic,” George said with a raised voice.

  Shannon sucked in a breath, realizing that she would have to change tactics.

  “Okay, fine. Jackie and I were in a relationship.” She waited for George to give the others an ‘I told you so’ look before continuing. “We broke it off at the behest of our producers.”

  “Then I think there is no more need for discussion. We will not reconsider,” George said, evidently speaking for the entire group.

  Shannon took a deep breath, pondering her next move. A good part of her wanted to stomp out of the restaurant, but not before throwing George’s red wine in his face and ruining his perfectly starched and bleached white shirt. The professional and well-mannered part of her knew she had to stay and finish this job.

  “I love her,” Shannon admitted softly, realizing it herself for the first time.

  George grunted, while the others waited impatiently for Shannon to continue.

  “I used to think my only love would be playing the violin, that as long as I had my violin, I would be fine. I wasn’t like other girls. I didn’t dream of my wedding day or of the perfect partner. I had my ambition and my talent, and that suited me fine. I figured out my sexuality at a young age, but it was irrelevant to me. Sure, I’ve had relationships in the past, but none that could compete with my career. And then I met Jackie,” Shannon paused to smile, the memory of Jackie rushing into the first day of rehearsal with her stupidly red cello case running through her mind.

  “She didn’t just enter my life; she turned it upside down. And at first I was scared. I was terrified. I thought she might destroy my heart and my career. But she has become apart of me. She pushes me to be stronger, to play better, to love harder, and I won’t apologize for that.”

  Shannon took a deep breath after her admission. She hadn’t intended to reveal this much, but her admission of love only fueled her speech. There were tears in her eyes when she continued.

  “I love her, and I haven’t been doing a very good job of showing her that recently. I was too wrapped up in my ambition, my need to be perfect and have the perfect career. But it wasn’t worth it. So yes, I did come here because of orders from my producers to beg for your money back, but I refuse to do that. I will not beg for the money of those who cannot accept who I am and who I love.”

  Without waiting for a response, Shannon stood up and placed her napkin to the side of the plate.

  “I hope that you reconsider,” she said, before turning on her heels and walking swiftly out of the restaurant, leaving the other four flabbergasted in her wake.

  Ten

  Jackie sighed as she pushed open the heavy metal stage door, the performers’ entrance to the Lincoln Center. She didn’t know what to expect for their dress rehearsal, but she didn’t exactly have high hopes. In the chaos of the final week before opening night, Jackie and Shannon had barely spoke more than two words to each other, but not for lack of trying on either of their parts. It just seemed that every time one of them got up the courage to confront the other, they were interrupted or whisked away to a rehearsal.

  Jackie relaxed when she realized she had arrived early enough to avoid most of the company. Just a few crew members were wandering around backstage, testing lights and sound systems. She wandered aimlessly down the hallways, looking at the postings outside the green rooms and dressing rooms. Upon reaching a room that was to house most of the cello section, she frowned when she noticed her name wasn’t on the list. Scanning the rest of the hallway, she noticed a room that only had a couple names listed on it. She groaned and rolled her eyes when she read the listing that said simply, “Shannon McClintock, concertmaster. Jackie Ortiz, principal cello.” It would seem that the two “stars” of the show were privileged enough to have their own warm-up and dressing room. To Jackie, it just felt like someone had a sick sense of humor.

  For whatever reason, Jackie felt the need to knock on the door before she entered. The last thing she wanted to encounter was a half-naked blonde, or worse, Shannon warming up. Jackie wasn’t sure her fragile state could handle either sight. Hearing no response, she slid the door open and walked into their fairly substantial dressing room. She hung her garment bag on the clothing rack and placed her cello on the floor, before sinking back into the plush chair in the corner of the room. She rubbed light circles against her temples, hoping to relieve some tension before having to face the inevitably arduous dress rehearsal. One repercussion of her break up with Shannon was being forced to commute almost three hours every day back to her apartment in Long Island, and she was simply exhausted.

  After several moments of rest, she got up, quickly ridding herself of her street clothes and putting on her concert black attire. As the duet was the last piece of the program, Jackie and Shannon were to dress like the rest of the orchestra and then change into the more typical soloist attire, generally consisting of an over-the-top ball gown. She unpacked her cello and after tuning, she left the dressing room to warm up on stage, a bit surprised that Shannon hadn’t arrived yet.

  When she stepped out of the dressing room, she noticed that most of the orchestra had now arrived. On the other end of the hall, she spied the familiar mass of blonde curls walking hurriedly down the
hall, but stopping to greet everyone along the way. Making her way to the stage, Jackie met Shannon halfway.

  “We’re down at the end of the hall,” Jackie said, smirking at the way Shannon’s eyes widened at her use of the 1st person plural. Before Shannon had a chance to respond, Jackie had rounded the corner and slipped into the wings backstage.

  * * *

  “Okay, everyone! Decent first half! I’ll give you notes at the end of dress today, so for now, just take a break. We’re going to treat this like a real intermission, so don’t wander too far. Be back in 25,” Gallo announced once they had successfully completed the first half of the program. The ensemble members began to disburse quickly to get some food and water, many exchanging congratulations and patting each other on the back. Decent was high praise coming from Gallo.

  Shannon and Jackie rushed back to their dressing room, needing to change into their dresses for the second half. Reaching the room at nearly the same time, they offered each other small, civil smiles, before entering silently. Shannon opened her mouth to apologize, to admit her faults, to profess her love, to say something, anything. But Jackie grabbed her garment bag and rushed off to the other side of the room, turning her back to the blonde and quickly pulling off her shirt, rendering the blonde speechless. Shannon let her eyes linger for a moment on the caramel skin she longed to touch, before turning around to change into her own dress.

  Once dressed, Shannon turned around and was met with Jackie’s glossy stare. She wanted to smirk at Jackie’s unmitigated lustful gaze, but once she took in Jackie’s appearance, she lost all power to think coherently.

  “Wow…you look…red’s a good color on you,” Shannon stuttered. Jackie was wearing a strapless, shiny red dress that hugged her curves perfectly until the material opened out into an A-line skirt about mid-thigh, falling in gentle pleats to the floor. It allowed her space to spread her legs to accommodate her cello.