I Want Candy

by Laveen, Tiana

  “I cheated. We both know this. I never wanted to hurt you. I needed somethin’ you weren’t givin’ me – attention. You’re too wrapped up in your career,” Eric whined.

  “My career? You had no problem with it when we were dating, but now you turn everything into a pissin’ contest, even with your own wife!” Candy yelled.

  “You put your job before me, so I put my needs before you!” Eric screamed.

  “Eric, you have a serious problem with accountability. Go fuck yourself!” Candy swung the door open, slamming it behind her as she breathed heavily. Eric screamed obscenities from the other side. Candy drowned them out with her tears.

  AUDACITY PIE

  2 tbsp pride

  3 tsp revenge

  1 cup lukewarm disbelief

  Stir and bake in an oven for 30 minutes or until golden brown.

  Best served hot.

  * * *

  “Hello, may I speak to Mrs. Fields?” came the voice with a slight lisp.

  “This is she,” Candy said sleepily. It was 10:00 in the morning, but her exhaustion made it feel more like 2:00AM.

  “Good morning, Mrs. Fields. We have your blood tests results. You’re not sick. You’re pregnant. According to the dates of your last cycle, you’re about two months.”

  Candy rubbed her eyes. She felt her stomach heaving tightly. Black and white splotches danced across the room as her vision doubled.

  “I’m what?” Candy asked.

  “You’re pregnant. Congratulations. If you’ve any questions or need an obstetrician-gynecologist recommendation, please let us know.”

  Candy hung up the phone and sat straight up in the bed. She rubbed her forehead before falling back onto the bed’s headboard and sighing in disbelief. She picked up her cell phone and dialed Jasmine.

  “Jasmine, are you busy?” Candy asked, trying to sound calm.

  “Of course, but you must really need something to call me at work. You never call me at work. What’s up, Girl?”

  Candy cleared her throat. “What are the chances of a woman getting pregnant while on the pill? This lady I know has been on the pill for about seven years. Her period is regular for the most part, and she’s never missed a pill in the last five years.”

  Jasmine leaned back in her chair and crossed her ankles.

  “So, Candy, how far along are you?” Jasmine asked smugly.

  “Just answer the question, please!” Candy yelled. Jasmine burst out laughing.

  “I’m gonna be an Auntie!” she giggled.

  “Jasmine, this is serious! How did this happen?”

  “Um, you had sex with your husband. That’s how it happened.” Jasmine continued to laugh.

  “Jasmine! I’m serious.” Candy gritted her teeth.

  “Well, it doesn’t happen all the time, but no birth control is one hundred percent. I know you’re religious about takin’ your pill, but it must’ve been meant to be, because despite your efforts, Eric still knocked your butt up, and now I get to have a baby through you, but send her back home when I’m done playin’ with her!” Jasmine teased.

  “You’ve been a load of help,” Candy said sarcastically. “I can’t believe this,” she sighed.

  “I thought you’d be happy,” Jasmine said, concern entering her tone.

  “I’m confused, is what I am. Look, I have to go.” Candy hung up and called Dallas, pulling her out of a meeting. The two spoke for nearly a half hour. The first few minutes were spent with Dallas saying “Oh, my God!” over and over. Dallas came home early to find Candy packed and exhausted. Dallas leaned up against the guestroom door, crossed her arms, and smiled.

  “You know what, Candy? I don’t believe in coincidences. I hate what Eric’s done to you, but this may be a sign of some sort.”

  Candy sniffed as she pushed her laptop into its case. “Well, whatever it is, I need to speak to my husband. I love him so much, Dallas. I hate him, too. I’m in shock. I’m confused. I’m a little happy, but scared. I can’t even…”

  Dallas hugged her. “I know, I know. Call me when you can.”

  Candy nodded solemnly as she exited the house and got into her car to drive home.

  * * *

  Candy pulled up to her house, resigned. She grabbed her bags and entered. Much to her surprise, it was unbelievably clean. The scent of Pine Sol infused the air. She wearily walked up to her bedroom. She swung the door open and saw a torn-up and retaped photo of herself by Eric’s side of the bed. She shook her head as she hung up her clean clothing and tossed the dirty articles in the hamper. After taking a quick shower, she snuggled into bed with the remote control and a slice of cake Eric had in the refrigerator. Tears ran down her face as she smiled and ate joyfully to a rerun of “The Golden Girls.” A few hours later, the setting sun glowed deep crimson and orange. Rays of low light flowed through the window as Eric leaned over her, caressing her shoulder tenderly. Candy woke up startled as she looked deep into his eyes. His familiar scent befuddled her.

  “Candy,” Eric said softly, “I’m so glad you’re home. I’m sorry about everything. The affair, what I said yesterday, everything. You’re one hundred percent right. I need to man up and take responsibility for my actions. I should’ve talked to you about feeling left out and alone. Instead, I acted like a damn idiot and put what we have on the line.” He caressed her face. Candy gently moved his hand away.

  “We need to talk,” she said as she adjusted herself and sat up.

  “Yeah, we do. Let’s just start over, Baby. My mother’s so upset with me. She said I have to make this right. She knows how much I love you.” Eric’s eyes watered.

  “You made a comment about my weight when this whole ordeal first began and…”

  “Candy, forget that! You still look beautiful. I was just tryin’ to hurt you because I needed an excuse for what I did. I still find you sexy, Honey.”

  “Well, good, because I’ll be gettin’ bigger.”

  Eric looked at her in bewilderment. “What?” he asked, his lips twisted.

  “I’m pregnant,” Candy said, not believing the words that just left her mouth. She watched as a look of disbelief, shock, and something she didn’t recognize take over his facial expression.

  “How did, I mean, how…” Eric stuttered.

  “I’m about two months along. I missed my period, but I thought it was just stress from…from what we were goin’ through. Eric, I love you, and I’m in just as much shock as you, but I really can’t trust you.” Candy began to cry. “How can I bring our baby into the world knowing that I’m so uncertain about our marriage? You’ve been havin’ an affair with another woman for Lord knows how long – and how many others! Then you blamed me for your infidelity. I don’t even know who you are anymore,” Candy sobbed.

  Eric slowly sat beside her. “I know. I don’t think I even know myself anymore lately. I never really thought of myself as a father. I didn’t see myself as a husband, either, but I fell in love with you and wanted all of that with you. Please don’t let my mistake change this second chance we have.”

  “Eric, who is she, and how long have you been seeing her?” Candy asked coolly.

  Eric sighed and looked into the palms of his hands. “Someone I met while on the job. She worked in one of the buildings across the river. She hit on me, I didn’t resist her advances, and then before I knew it, we were meeting up at hotels having sex.”

  “Do you love her?” Candy asked weakly, her stomach churning with each second that passed.

  “No. Not in the least. She’s someone I used to fill a void I thought I had.”

  “Tell me about her,” Candy said as she wiped a tear from her eye. “Is she prettier than me? Does she have a better career? What does she say to keep you?” Candy craved alcohol but knew better in her current condition. She wanted something to take the edge off.

  “Candy, this information isn’t gonna make it better or…”

  “Tell me now,” Candy demanded.

  “In all honesty, sh
e looks like a thinner, younger version of you. She’s gorgeous, just like you. She has a boyfriend who’s always outta town, so we kinda clung to each other. We were just usin’ each other for sex. It meant nothing. She’s a secretary. She has a daughter and is just tryin’ to make ends meet.”

  “I see she succeeded,” Candy said as she sucked her teeth.

  “I called her your name one time when we…when we were having sex,” Eric confessed.

  “Oh, is that supposed to warm my heart somehow?” Candy spurt.

  “Nah, it just proves that I really wanted her to be you. She looked like you, but she wasn’t you. I love you. I’ll do whatever we need to do to make this work – counseling, whatever.”

  “What about drug rehabilitation for your marijuana problem?” Candy asked curtly.

  Eric rolled his eyes. “Damn it, Candy! I’m not addicted to weed. I just like to smoke it. There’s a difference. Can we move forward, please? We’re about to have a baby. You know I won’t be doing that around the baby.”

  “How about at all? I hate it, Eric. I hate your excessive drinking and the joints. What are you tryin’ to run from? What’s your deal?” Candy jolted out of bed, pushing him aside as a flood of tears and anger welled up inside her.

  Eric grabbed her arm and brought her close to him. “Candy, goddamn it! I’m your husband. We’re married. We’re gonna have a baby. We both have made mistakes, I’m the owner of this recent shit though, and I fucked up, bad! We’re all runnin’ from somethin’. We’re all hidin’! I wanna be myself. I wanna be true to you and to our family. The weed’s gone. I’ll cut back on the alcohol, but I like a cold one every now again. Just give this a chance and don’t hold grudges. I’m sorry, and you know it.”

  “I know you’re sorry, but sorry does not take away what happened,” Candy said as she quaked in his arms. “Sorry doesn’t take away the fact that you were layin’ up in a hotel room with some whore who didn’t care that you were married. She selfishly wanted you for herself, regardless of how it impacted your wife and your marriage. While someone was babysittin’ her child, she was out suckin’ a married man’s dick – my married man! But you said the vows, not her! I’m pissed, Eric!” Candy cried out as she hit her hand on the wall. Eric brought her to him again. Candy turned away abruptly.

  “You’re my husband! You shared something so sacred with a stranger. You gave her yourself while I was growin’ your seed! You betrayed me and this child. From day one, I’ve been good to you! No, I haven’t always been a bed of roses, but I was loyal. You never had to worry about me runnin’ out with another man! I never stopped lovin’ you. I thought our marriage was going well, and come to find out, you were unhappy and taking it out on me! Why, Eric? Why?”

  “Please, please don’t get upset all over again.” He held her close, forcing her into his chest for an embrace. She resisted until falling limp from emotional exhaustion.

  “Look, Baby,” Eric said softly after he cleared his throat. “I should’ve talked to you about what was botherin’ me. Yeah, I was unhappy, but I handled it all wrong. I was unhappy because I missed you. I keep repeatin’ myself, but I have to drill this home to you. It wasn’t about the sex. It was about someone wantin’ me. It was about me feelin’ better than someone else I guess, like they needed me. Candy, you don’t need me. You never have. That’s always bothered me, and it’s only gotten worse. It isn’t your fault. It’s mine for not seein’ that there was more to us than that.”

  “But Eric, I do need you!” Candy cried. “I need you to love me, to be faithful, and to be honest. I don’t need your money or for you to hang a picture, but I do need you to be here, for me, for us!”

  They embraced tightly. Eric kissed Candy’s forehead and brought her back to him for an extended hug.

  “Why don’t you get in bed? Do you need somethin’? Somethin’ to eat or drink?”

  “Maybe a glass of water,” Candy said as she slid back under the covers, her eyes red and swollen.

  “OK, I’ll be right back. Candy?”

  “Yes?”

  “I love you, and nothin’ will ever change that.” He disappeared from the bedroom, closing the door securely behind himself.

  UNEXPECTED BUNS IN THE OVEN

  1/2 cups of baking soda

  1 cup of sugar

  3 cups of surprises

  1 teaspoon of buyer’s remorse

  Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

  Butter up immediately while still hot. If it cools, you’ve lost your chance.

  * * *

  “Candy, it’s only right that you have a shower!” Candy’s mother said as she put the final stamp on the last invitation.

  “Oh, Mama, don’t worry about it. Dallas and Jasmine are throwin’ me one. I can’t believe you’re sending out your own invitations.”

  “What about me? You don’t trust me to throw you a shower? Jasmine isn’t detail oriented, and Dallas has her own stuff to tend to. I’m handlin’ the shower. You call and tell ’em, or I will,” she stated matter-of-factly.

  Candy smirked and rolled her eyes.

  “You’re glowin’, by the way,” Candy’s mother added. “You’re barely showing and already four months. I bet you’ll be like me and expand at the last minute!” she chuckled. “How’s Eric doing?”

  Candy had hidden the infidelity from her mother. Some things she wanted to remain private. “He’s good,” Candy smiled stiffly.

  “I know he’s excited about the baby. Your dad and I sure are,” she smiled.

  “Yes, he is,” Candy yawned. “Well, Mama, I better get going. I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow.”

  “More meetings?” she asked.

  “Why of course!” Candy laughed as she gave her mother a hug. She had a meeting but also had marital counseling sessions scheduled during her lunch breaks. It had been grueling. Truths came out that felt like a double blow in hard-knocking rushes.

  As she arrived home, she saw Eric in their garage working on his motorcycle. “Hi, Eric,” she said wearily as she parked and got out of her car. “It’s gettin’ late, don’t you wanna come to bed?” She scratched her itching stomach.

  Eric looked up at her and remained silent.

  “What?” Candy asked.

  “We need to talk before we go to the counselor tomorrow,” he said angrily.

  “OK,” Candy answered as she felt him walking close behind her as they entered the family room. Candy plopped down, exhausted. Eric sat beside her and put her feet on his lap, gently removing her shoes and massaging her soles.

  “You seem upset,” she said cautiously.

  “A little. It has nothin’ to do with you. I’ve just been thinkin’ a lot lately. I never talk about my real father, only my stepfather because he’s the one who raised me. All families have secrets. I neglected to tell the counselor this because I really didn’t wanna get into it right then, but I don’t have the same father as the rest of my brothers and sisters.”

  Candy was quiet, listening intently.

  “My stepfather travelled a lot, and around the time my mother got pregnant with me, he hadn’t been home for months. I’m the baby, as you know. My brothers and sisters don’t know about my real father. The only reason I know is because I’d always tell my mother that a particular friend of the family was always offerin’ to take me to school. He’d buy me toys and do things for me, just out of the blue. When I was fifteen, my mother pulled me aside and told me the truth. She said I had been actin’ unruly. I wasn’t her sweet little boy anymore, and she believed it was because I felt like I never fit in. That was part of it. I always knew somethin’ wasn’t right. I guess no one else caught on because this friend of the family happens to look a lot like my stepfather because…they’re brothers. So, only the four of us know. My stepfather never blamed my mom – hell, he had had a bunch of affairs early on too, but they stuck together. I found out my uncle, well, my father wasn’t allowed around anymore because he became a crack addict. My mother said he was a real
ly good person before that. I guess life beat him down. My mother’s a good woman. She made a mistake. Unfortunately, that mistake was me.”

  “Oh, Eric, don’t say that! Your mother adores you. Dare I say you’re her favorite?” Candy smiled as she comforted him.

  “I know she loves me, but I was the evidence of her secret, and it caused her a lot of shame. My brothers and sisters have somethin’ I don’t. I’m jealous of ’em. My real father died years ago from a drug overdose. I was his only kid. I’d get a Christmas card in the mail every year, but he never signed it. As I got older, he still sent ’em, and sometimes they’d have money in ’em. He still never signed ’em, but I knew they were from him. Then one day, they stopped comin’. I asked my mother about it, and she told me he died a couple months prior, but wasn’t sure how to talk to me about it. He’d watch me growin’ up from the sidelines. Sometimes I’d see him in the bleachers at my games. Sometimes I’d see him sittin’ in his old, green Lincoln watchin’ me leave school. I even saw him at my graduation for a moment. He never came to family functions. He knew my stepfather didn’t want him there. The sad part I guess was that he always wanted kids but never thought he could have any, and then I was like this miracle baby, but he couldn’t even really be with me. He got into drugs when I was around six or so, and it was all downhill from there.”

  Candy hugged Eric tightly. “Oh, Baby. Thank you so much for tellin’ me this. I know it was hard.”

  Eric continued to massage Candy’s foot. “Well, you said previously you wanted to know what I was hidin’ from. I told you it was myself, and that’s the truth. I’m afraid of being just like him, but also afraid of not being like him. This baby’s scarin’ me, Candy. I don’t know if I’m gonna be a good father. I just don’t know. I look at your stomach growin’. I know that’s us growin’ inside you. I think about the timing – how she probably saved our marriage, and I’m scared outta my mind, but love her at the same time.”