Seeing the house in darkness, my mood dipped considerably, knowing they were visiting Lexi and JC and I was missing out. Shaking my head, this was important, I needed to pitch in and this was the only way I could right now.
Throwing off my clothes and showering I scrubbed the commuter grime off my body and decided to sneak in some ballet time before dinner.
Cranking up the volume, I danced to The Kill, by 30 Seconds to Mars. The piece I had perfected to use for the audition next year, losing myself in the music and forgetting everything other than the rhythm and my feet, gliding across the floor effortlessly.
Taking another quick shower, I changed into my pyjamas and went to grab some dinner. Seeing the note my mother had left and the meat loaf in the fridge, I cut a slice and stuck it into the microwave. Watching it turn aimlessly round and round I jumped at the sound of the phone ringing.
‘Just me, sweetheart, we are about to leave, see you shortly,’ my mother explained, sounding more cheery today, my mood started to lighten. Ever the optimist, this dark cloud that had been hovering over us, attempting to suck us into a vortex of pain was definitely cramping my usual happy-go-lucky style. But we would get back on track. Once we were out of this house and away from dad, everything would be back to normal.
Finishing my food quickly, I grabbed the last of the clothes I had washed for JC and was folding them into the dresser in his room; closing the window that we had left open to air the paint smells away, I stopped dead.
The wooden floor had been cleaned and polished yesterday, my mother using her favourite rose scented polish had buffed it until you could see you face in it. I forced my body to move as I scanned the room carefully, my heart beat audible as I watched the muddy footprints that had begun on the windowsill head towards the door and disappear.
Suddenly feeling unable to speak, let alone scream, the realisation that someone had been in our home, and still may be there, too much for me to take on board.
Frozen to the spot, the only sound my heart pounding in my ears as the ideas ran through my head, an endlessly turning merry-go-round of nausea hit as I finally managed to get my legs to move, running as fast as I could down the stairs and out the front door just as my mother was pulling into the drive.
Yanking the door open, I finally found my vocal chords would work again.
‘Drive, go, now,’ I screamed as my mother stared at me, about to speak before she reversed the car so fast out of the drive I fell onto the dash board bruising my side.
‘Mom, there was someone in the house.’
Lexi – everything changes
I had been up all night and was more exhausted than I ever thought possible, yet when I looked into his baby blue eyes, the fact I had not slept for more than thirty minutes at a time dwindled away. Yawning and stretching, I snuggled down next to JC, in the hope of catching a quick nap before mom and Caitlan would arrive to bring me home.
Just as my eyes started to close the phone rang, waking JC instantly and I reached to grab it. Seeing the caller id as my mother, I immediately felt guilty for the rage powering through me and picked up.
‘Hi, Mom, everything okay?’ I asked, stifling a yawn and settling JC onto the boob, his contented wind expression smiling back up at me and my heart melted for the millionth time.
‘Yes, darling, except we have a change of plan,’ she began, sounding like she was trying to mask a serious problem, the way I knew too well.
‘What happened, Mom?’ I replied, urging her to continue, despite the tendency that knowing led to wishing you did not.
‘Lexi will be meeting you and I have booked you both into a hotel for a couple of days. They have a spa there and I thought it would be like a little break for you before coming home back to school and everything,’ she blustered, speaking way too fast for it to be a normal suggestion. Something was very wrong, but not wanting to rifle her anymore, I agreed and vowed to drag the truth out of Caitlan when she came to collect us.
The doctor gave us the all clear to go, and I was just securing JC into his car seat when Caitlan arrived. I turned to meet her eyes and saw nothing but exhaustion fuelled panic.
‘What is it, what happened?’ I questioned, alarmed by her appearance, as though she had slept in her clothes and watched as the remaining colour drained out of her face.
‘Someone broke into the house,’ she explained, almost whispering and turning more ashen by the second.
‘What? Did they take anything?’ reeling from the news, our neighbourhood had the lowest crime rate by far.
‘Some of mom’s jewellery and some cash. Nothing of yours or mine was touched, but mom is really shaken up about it and does not want us to stay at the house until the new alarm system is fitted,’ she confirmed, reaching to pick up JC and smiling weakly.
‘Where is mom and Seth staying?’ I questioned, having only heard about my hotel reservations and cringing internally at the thought of strangers pawing through our belongings.
‘They are staying with one of mom’s group friends from the Navy unit. It will be cool to have a little getaway, just the three of us. It will be like old times, order a ton of food and watch re-runs. They have a spa too,’ she continued, as though she was trying to sell herself on the idea as much as me. Not wanting to cause any more distress than she was already feeling I agreed and Caitlan wheeled me out of the room ready to take JC home though with a little detour.
It was amazing to be outside again, having been cooped up for so long in that room. Shuffling into the awaiting taxi as Caitlan secured JC’s seat into the car, I took one last look at the hospital that had been my home for the past month. I was so looking forward to sleeping in my own bed tonight, but after the news Caitlan had delivered, I felt like I needed to shower and wash all my clothes for fear someone had been rooting through my drawers and closet.
Not wanting to take JC back to the house until we all could feel safe again, I settled into the seat and watched the city tower blocks hovering above me as the rain started to pour.
We arrived at the hotel about twenty minutes later and I scooped up JC into my jacket to protect him from the rainstorm, clutching him close as I hastily entered the hotel. It was much more salubrious than I thought, having a doorman and huge reception area filled with ornate statues and a water fountain.
Caitlan followed swiftly after, checking us in and handing me a key card as we headed for the elevator.
‘Wow, this must be a pricey hotel,’ I muttered, stroking JC’s cheek as the elevator pinged, we had arrived at our floor.
‘Mom said the home insurance covers it, so let’s enjoy it,’ she smiled though it was not my usual bubbly sister smiling. I knew she was trying to put a brave face on everything and not wanting to push her for more details, I changed the subject back to something I knew she would want to talk about, JC.
Opening the door to our suite, I marvelled at the huge jacuzzi bath and two super king-sized beds. There was a mahogany cabinet with an entertainment centre and a mini bar full of snacks.
Caitlan took out some drinks and tossing one to me flopped onto her bed.
‘Do you want to take a nap?’ I asked, longing for the answer I wanted and I was not disappointed. She could barely keep her eyes open to respond and tucking JC into his co-sleeper, I too fell asleep within minutes.
I awoke two hours later as JC was stirring ready for his next feed. Caitlan was still fast asleep and not wanting to disturb her, I headed into the lounge area of the suite where an open fireplace and chandelier dominated the room. Switching on the coffee maker, I grabbed my cell phone to call my mother.
‘Hey, Mom, we are just at the hotel now. Caitlan is sleeping, but this place is amazing, thanks so much,’ I gushed sincerely, but part of me was still longing to be in my own bed.
‘I’m glad you are enjoying it, sweetheart. The house will be ready for us to go home in two days, so it won’t be long before you and JC are back home,’ she confirmed as though reading my mind.
&nbs
p; ‘Mom, Lexi told me about the robbery. Did they take anything precious?’ knowing that my mom had some jewellery passed down from her great grandmother and how much that meant to her. I loved trying on her jewels as a child and would sneak in just to stare at them in their pretty mahogany satin lined boxes.
‘Nothing important, darling. Now tell me all about what my grandson has been up to?’ she quickly changed the subject, but knowing how upset Caitlan had been when she arrived, I could only imagine how our mother was feeling, doing everything in my power to brighten things for her.
After chatting for a while, I heard Caitlan stirring and pouring her a cup of coffee, I went into the bedroom area.
‘Mom, said hi, she is coming by later to check on us,’ I explained handing her the coffee as she yawned, looking visibly much more like my sister, the optimism starting to glow again.
‘Thanks, it was a long night,’ she reiterated, taking a sip of her coffee and perusing the room service menu. I was starving too, but wanted to wait for her to wake up before ordering lunch.
We both decided on cheeseburgers with fries and ice cream sundaes, the only thing that looked remotely normal food on the menu and my eyes lit up seeing the feast arrive.
After polishing off our food, Caitlan suggested we go check out getting a pedicure and after feeding and changing JC again, I let her lead the way.
Dunking my feet into the whirlpool bath, I dozed in the chair with JC nestled in the ergo and my feet being pampered to the extreme.
‘How is Lucas?’ noting she had not mentioned him in a while, I turned to face her as the answer I expected to hear was not forth coming.
‘I have not heard from him in four days,’ she replied, her voice pitched just a little higher than normal, giving away her true feelings.
‘Maybe he is busy with school and has not had the chance,’ I replied, though knowing how much and how quickly Lucas would normally respond to my sister’s messages, I knew why she was surprised.
‘Yes, maybe,’ she retorted, quickly changing the subject back to me and JC. I tried in vain to cheer her up the rest of the day, doing her hair and makeup, letting her choose our movies, but I could not shake the feeling that there was more she was not telling me. Not wanting to push her, but having finally discussed every topic I could think of to death, there was no denying the gulf sized silence between us.
‘Caitlan, what are you not telling me?’ I asked, finally giving in that we could not avoid this any longer, she turned with tears in her eyes.
‘Mom is leaving dad,’ she replied, suddenly erupting into a flood of tears, I clung onto her as she ebbed and flowed with the tidal wave of emotions she had held in for too long.
After consoling her as much as possible, I tucked her back into bed, lying with her until she fell asleep. Not wanting to disturb her, I took JC out into the lobby and sat watching the water fountain cascade down onto the crystal rocks below.
I must have been there for hours, just processing everything that had happened and what Caitlan had said.
Mom was actually going to do it, she was leaving dad and this time I knew there would be no going back. The look of realisation on Caitlan’s face was all I needed to see to know that it was for real. We were going to be one of the statistics now, children from a divorced home and I felt the tears welling up, peeking down at JC’s face, knowing he would not have the family life I had and would he ever?
Who would want a teenager with a kid? My mind wandered back to Caitlan’s dance contest and the guy who had visited my dreams many times since. He would want to go on dates and have romantic evenings, something that did not include spit up and diapers.
Shaking myself back to reality, I would give JC everything I could and although that would never be enough, at least we were together. Pulling myself up, wincing at the pain from my C-section wound, I headed into the elevator and back to the room.
I expected Caitlan to still be sleeping, but the muffled cries coming from the bedroom, indicated something was far from right.
‘Caitlan, what is it?’ I whispered, pulling her into my arms, and stroking her hair reassuringly.
‘Lexi, he has still not replied. I think I have lost him,’ Caitlan sobbed, clutching onto her phone with the email account open. Lucas had not contacted her in days and she was right, knowing how much that guy was desperately in love with her, replying to every message she ever sent, something was definitely not right.
Do you want me to try to call him?’ I asked, watching the alarm set into her eyes.
‘No, he clearly does not want to be with me anymore. I am not that desperate I need my sister to come and beg him to want me,’ she huffed, a little too harshly, and I felt myself recoil back.
There had been many times when Caitlan had looked at me that way, but this time stung more than ever. After everything we had been through, she still viewed me as the person who would take things away from her, and it hurt more than I had ever admitted to myself. I loved her more than I had ever loved anyone else, until JC, but that twin connection was so strong, it was a bond that should never be broken.
Looking into her eyes now, I realised that the bond had been weakening each year we got older. I felt like I was clinging onto her and she was once again pulling further away from me.
Caitlan – hidden secrets
I watched as the armour my sister often shielded herself with started to slowly melt, the chinks that had chiselled away during our argument were now forming into a pool of silvery liquid.
I had to stop making her feel this way, putting all my negative feelings about myself onto her. The boomerang of pain stung generally, but even more so when it was I that were throwing it.
‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it, please,’ I urged, wanting her to shine once more and not diminish before my eyes.
‘I understand how difficult it is for you, but it is hard for me too. I just wish sometimes you could understand that it is not always butterflies and roses for me too,’ Lexi sighed, reaching to check on JC. ‘I have an idea,’ the smile returning to her lips tentatively as she reached for her cell phone. ‘You have his brother’s number right? Let’s call him and see what is going on,’ she suggested and the smile that had begun to rise on my face at her change in mood plummeted on a collision cause with oblivion.
‘No way, I can’t call him,’ I almost shouted, conscious of JC sleeping, just the thought alone petrified me.
‘What if something has happened, I mean really happened to Lucas. You need to do this. Text me the number,’ I picked up my phone and opened the contacts. Just the thought alone that something may have happened to Lucas sent my heart floundering in a sea of devastation. I hit send and watched as Lexi received the message, hitting the call button. I heard the ring tone and my body instantly shut down as she handed me the phone.
‘I can’t, here,’ I threw the phone back over to her and she caught it deftly, returning it back to me.
‘Hello,’ the male voice answered, sending my blood pressure soaring. I immediately hung up, ready to shrivel into a black hole.
‘Seriously, why did you hang up,’ Lexi began when the phone started ringing.
‘He called us back?’ I yelled, launching the phone at Lexi.
‘Get a grip, answer it,’ she shouted as we tossed the phone back and forth between each other, almost hysterical with laughter. Finally, Lexi answered, shaking her head at me and grinning impishly.
‘Hello, you just called me?’ the voice began; sounding a little annoyed and out of breath. Lexi seemed to flounder a little, as though she was recalling something and then flicked back on, like a switch.
‘Yes, erm, this is, Caitlan, Lexi’s sister,’ she confirmed, sounding a little nervous, but nowhere near how much I would have been, unable to get one word out. ‘Lexi has not heard from Lucas in a few days and she was getting worried,’ she advised, rolling her eyes at me now pacing the room.
‘Oh, I have not heard from him in a few days. He went to visit his
mom for the break. I can call and check for you, but maybe it would be better if Lexi just called him,’ he suggested, a little sarcasm running through his tone.
‘That would be a great idea, but you know the two of them. Anyway, I am sorry to bother you, we just wanted to make sure he was okay,’ Lexi continued, suddenly flushing, so unlike her.
‘It was no problem at all. You just saved me from an embarrassing tennis defeat. Call anytime, Caitlan, it was great to hear from you,’ he replied, causing Lexi to turn traffic light red and quickly hang up. She threw the phone at me and flopped back onto the bed.
‘This is your phone, silly,’ I advised, throwing it over to her. ‘Why are you so embarrassed, what is it?’ I asked, completely confused by her reaction.
‘That was him, the guy at the dance audition. He is Lucas’s brother, Nic,’ she explained, looking more forlorn and love lost by the second.
‘Oh, the hot college guy, well it sounded like he liked you too,’ I suggested, though recoiled at the hostile look I was receiving.
‘Yes, of course he likes single moms. But he did have one great point; you should call Lucas. It is silly to just stew when you can solve all your problems just by hitting dial,’ she rebounded, throwing her arms across her face. Yes, she had a huge point, but there was no way I was calling him. Going to the bathroom to escape, I heard my mom enter the room.
‘Hey, Mom,’ I stopped, rooted to the spot as the expression on her face of complete devastation removed all the air from the room.
‘What happened, Mom,’ Lexi began, mirroring my anguish, and we reached out instinctively for each other’s hand.
‘I can’t believe this is happening,’ our mother began, the tears flowing vigorously down her face. ‘It is all gone, the nest egg. Our getaway money, all gone,’ she continued, as though on autopilot, her body shutting down with the pure unadulterated knowledge that we were not going anywhere.
The Beginning (The Butterfly Series Book 2) Page 18