Dark Heart Surrender

by Lee Monroe

  ‘I know I shouldn’t be here,’ Polly went on, looking down at the table. ‘Jane doesn’t trust me. And nor do you.’ She raised her face to him then, as though daring him to deny it.

  He crossed his arms over his chest and saw Polly’s eyes flicker over his strong slim arms for a second. ‘I’m so sorry about Pete,’ he said eventually. ‘I can’t imagine …’ He checked himself. ‘I mean, I have not lost anyone yet. I don’t know how I’d feel if anything happened to someone in my family.’

  She nodded. ‘It’s strange about families, isn’t it? Even if you don’t like or understand them sometimes, they’re yours. And you’d stand by them, whatever. Loyalty –’ she sighed ‘– loyalty is the most important thing of all.’

  Luca half smiled. He would have agreed with that once, but now … Now he knew that loyalty could be misplaced. He thought for a second before replying.

  ‘It can make you do things you don’t really want to do.’ He looked at her. ‘It can be destructive.’

  Polly stared at him, a hardness coming to her expression, and he wondered whether he’d gone too far. She couldn’t know that he knew. He had to play it more innocent than that.

  ‘You’ve heard about that girl turning up?’ she said, almost casually after a pause.

  Luca frowned. ‘I don’t know …’

  ‘Olivia – the girl they found nearly buried alive,’ she said, shifting in her seat. ‘She’s claiming to be our cousin.’

  ‘And she isn’t?’ he said stupidly. His mind was turning this over rapidly.

  Polly’s lip curled. ‘Don’t get me wrong, I feel sorry for the kid. But she’s obviously gone mad. Hardly surprising considering she’s been starved of food and fresh air for so long.’

  Luca willed his beating heart not to be audible, because it sounded deafening to him.

  ‘She had some kind of epiphany apparently.’ Polly’s tone was dry. ‘Talking to the police, she said that her family were called Henshaw and they lived near where she was found.’

  ‘But you’ve never seen her before?’ he asked. ‘Or heard of her?’

  ‘Well, of course not,’ she said edgily, casting him a hostile look. ‘My mother went straight to bed as soon as she arrived.’

  ‘The poor girl is traumatized,’ Luca said. ‘If she really is related to you or your mum, then a DNA test will prove it, surely?’

  To his horror, Polly started to cry.

  ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you,’ he said awkwardly, moving towards her and hovering by her chair. ‘I just meant it will rule it out, that’s all.’

  Polly’s head snapped up angrily. ‘You think my mum should go through all that? My grandfather’s just died and this girl has the audacity to muscle in on our family. It’s disgusting.’ She rubbed at her eyes, then put her head in her hands. ‘Everything is so awful,’ she sobbed. ‘Everyone hates us, Grandpa Pete’s dead and we have to deal with this now.’

  Luca put his hand tentatively on her shoulder. He was torn, he realized, between wanting to comfort her and feeling distinctly troubled by what she was telling him. If this girl thought she was related to the Ellis/Henshaw family, then Ade and Polly couldn’t have been responsible for trying to kill her, could they? But then if only some of her memory had returned, perhaps that explained it. As he looked down at Polly, crying into her hands, he wondered whether her anger was actually due to what Olivia knew, even if she didn’t realize it yet. Whatever the truth was, Olivia was in trouble too.

  Polly stopped crying, pulling up her shoulders.

  ‘You think I’m a drama queen, I know,’ she said sniffing. ‘And I guess I don’t blame you. But when you’ve had to fight for attention all your life, it kind of makes you act up on a regular basis. You know?’

  And as she looked up at him, an expression of pure sorrow on her face, it tested all his willpower not to hold her. Or was it that fragile, needy look she was giving him that was zapping all rational thought? He pulled away, subtly, and felt enormous relief when the phone rang.

  When he heard Jane’s voice, he felt glad to be drawn back to reality. To a real girl he loved. Though a headache was starting up and he found it hard to focus on what she was saying.

  By the time he hung up he knew only that he had let her down. Glancing back through to the kitchen, he saw that Polly was applying make-up to her face using a small compact mirror, looking for all the world like a girl without a care.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

  I found my own way home. Slowly. I was in no hurry to listen to Luca’s explanation for how exactly he had come to be entertaining Polly in my house.

  When I got to the back door, I heard the sound of my family gathered in the kitchen, my mum getting dinner ready, my little sister getting Dad to help with her homework. I opened the door carefully and then crept along the hall and up the stairs, relieved to reach my bedroom.

  I threw myself on the bed and sank my head into the pillow. I had this feeling that I’d never had before with Luca, that something had changed between us. Something subtle, but it had altered the dynamic. Like a kind of power imbalance. Luca was no longer the benign and devoted boyfriend. He’d turned into someone I felt wary of – someone I could no longer trust completely. It was only a feeling, but it felt like an instinct. And instincts are so often right. I was pretty sure of that.

  It was still raining, but more softly now. I heard the dog whimpering outside my bedroom door. His animal sense told him I was inside and it was seriously tempting to let him and take comfort from his lumbering, warm body.

  But I just lay there instead, anger and sadness swirling around in my head.

  A car pulled up outside the house and I shut my eyes. Luca was home. I levered myself up on my elbows and I caught sight of Polly’s dress, still lying in a heap on the floor. I took a deep intake of breath, a fresh surge of anger preparing to come over me. But anger wouldn’t help. It would only drive Luca away.

  I got up and checked myself in the mirror, stripping off the shirt I’d been wearing all day and changing into a clean striped T-shirt. The little burst of activity brought some colour to my cheeks, and though my hair was still damp, it would do. Berating myself for bothering to make an effort, I unlocked the door and found Bobby panting patiently in front of it.

  ‘All right, boy.’ I scratched his head and he pushed his head affectionately through the bottom of my legs. At least someone still loved me.

  ‘I’m not sure if she’s back,’ I heard Mum saying. ‘If she is, she must have crept in.’ She laughed. ‘You two haven’t fallen out, have you?’

  Luca said something indistinct and then I heard his footsteps on the stairs. I had half a mind to go back into my bedroom and slam the door.

  But he was in front of me before I could move, his face set in an exaggerated contrite expression.

  ‘This is getting to be a habit,’ he said, biting his lip.

  ‘What is?’ I sighed, passive-aggressively crossing my arms over my chest.

  Luca gave Bobby a wary look as the dog stood guarding me, before he replied.

  ‘Me disappointing you.’ Luca rubbed at his hair. ‘I’m totally messing up here, aren’t I?’

  I shrugged. ‘Go and tell it to Polly,’ I told him sulkily.

  ‘Jane, you know there’s nothing between Polly and me,’ he said, holding out a hand, which I ignored. ‘But you also know that there’s something about Ade and Polly that strips a person of strength.’ He stopped, staring at me.

  I thought about Ade and how only an hour or so before I had been on the brink of hugging him. It was crazy but Luca was right. One minute we suspected them of murder, the next we were drawn to them, as though they really were just a couple of troubled kids.

  ‘I know.’ I gave a heavy sigh. ‘It’s totally distracting us from our investigation, too. When I heard that Olivia is saying she’s related to the Ellis family, my first thought was that she was telling the truth and they were lying. That the two of them did something to her, but
didn’t succeed in wiping all of her memory.’ I gave him a half-smile. ‘They must be so angry.’

  ‘You could say that,’ Luca said archly. ‘I’ve had to deal with her full spectrum of emotions this afternoon. Sad … angry …’

  ‘She came on to you, too, didn’t she?’ I eyed him beadily. ‘Don’t try and lie, Luca. I know what she’s capable of.’

  It was Luca’s turn to sigh. ‘She … Well, she tried to, I suppose.’ He paused, looking me up and down. ‘But there’s really only one person I want.’ He took a step closer to me, treading carefully past the dog.

  ‘Luca … I …’ I began warily. ‘I don’t know what’s going on, I’m afraid.’

  With one finger he stroked my cheek. ‘I know. But I’m here. You don’t need to worry.’

  ‘But that’s just it.’ I looked up at him and suddenly my eyes were swimming with tears. ‘It’s you, Luca. It’s you that I’m afraid of.’

  Luca almost gasped. I could see the shock in his face. Half of me wanted to take it back, tell him I was kidding, I couldn’t stand to see the look of hurt there. But something stopped me.

  ‘Ade and Polly – they’ve ruined everything,’ I said. ‘These mind games they’re playing – I haven’t got the strength to resist them. I just don’t know how.’

  ‘We have to be strong, united, Jane.’ Luca finally spoke and for the first time he sounded more like a man than a boy. ‘United. This is what the Vulpecula do. They send people mad if they let them.’

  ‘I don’t think I can,’ I said. ‘You need to go back to Nissilum, Luca. Where you’ll be safe at least. It’s the best thing for you – for us.’ I took his hands in mine and clasped them tight. ‘And I’m going to the police. They may not believe me, but at least they’ll know my suspicions.’

  ‘That’s very dangerous,’ Luca said quietly. ‘You’ll be on your own. And the police can’t keep up with the Vulpecula. It’s pointless.’

  ‘Maybe not. But they can force Mrs Ellis and Olivia to take DNA tests. At least then they’ll know she’s connected to that family.’

  ‘Jane, slow down,’ Luca said. ‘You can’t do this by yourself. You need me here to help you. At least I know how to play the Vulpecula—’

  ‘But you don’t!’ I felt exasperated. ‘You obviously don’t. And you’re not safe here. It’s you they want to get at most of all. I don’t know what the deal is with Olivia, but that’s another issue.’

  ‘OK,’ he said quietly. ‘I’ll go home. If it’s what you really want.’ He searched my eyes.

  None of this was what I wanted, but it was time I stopped being so lame about what was going on. If that meant being apart from Luca, then so be it.

  I nodded, hoping the tears wouldn’t come again. ‘And I need you to give me that necklace,’ I said steadily.

  ‘The necklace?’ He frowned.

  ‘I’m taking it to the police. They can test the blood on it. And they can find out who it belongs to. And who tore it off Olivia’s neck.’

  Luca shut his eyes, but I knew he realized it was futile to refuse. I also knew that what I was doing was virtually telling him he was useless, unnecessary. That this was one thing he couldn’t fix.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ I said. ‘I never wanted it to be this way. But I won’t let you stay here and get hurt by them.’

  ‘When will I see you again?’ he said, swallowing.

  ‘When this is over,’ I told him.

  Luca nodded and, sensing that something sad was happening, Bobby whimpered sympathetically at our feet.

  ‘So this is goodbye then.’ I saw that familiar tic of tension in Luca’s cheek and my heart lurched for a second. I held out my arms and he moved into them, clasping me tightly, burying his head into my hair.

  ‘I love you – you know that, don’t you?’ he whispered. ‘Always.’

  And the tears that I had been holding back started to fall. I wanted so much to say those words back to him, but I had to hold them back.

  ‘Goodbye,’ I whispered back. ‘Goodbye, Luca.’

  CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

  ‘So we’re going together,’ said Ashley, flicking her hair over her shoulder. ‘To the half-term party, I mean. I was sure he’d say no because, you know, he’s kind of not into the whole coupley thing … But he said yes, immediately!’ She clapped her hands together gleefully. ‘I can’t wait to show him off.’

  From my seat at the other end of the canteen table, I forced a mouthful of salad into my mouth. It tasted like sand. I dropped my fork and took a gulp of Coke. Then I allowed myself a small peek at the gaggle of girls around Ashley.

  In any other situation I would have been pleased for her. But this wasn’t good. I knew there was no point in saying anything to her. Apart from the fact that she wasn’t actually talking to me, anything I said would be analyzed as jealousy.

  Maybe there was a way I could stop it from happening. I didn’t want to upset Ashley. But better safe than sorry.

  ‘Mind if I sit with you?’ A familiar yet timid voice spoke in my ear. I glanced down at a pair of porcelain-pale arms holding a tray of food. My heart sank.

  ‘Free country,’ I said, putting down my Coke.

  ‘I wanted to talk to you, anyway,’ she said quietly. And I was forced to turn and face her. She was wearing some kind of Amish get-up. A grey shirt buttoned to the neck, tucked into a long shapeless skirt. Her hair was coiled in a prim bun at the back of her head and her face was unusually free of make-up. Her eyes, bare without the eye-liner, looked stark and a little red-rimmed.

  It was an impressive gesture of humility, I had to give her that.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ I said. ‘About Pete.’

  Polly half smiled in acknowledgement. ‘Thanks,’ she said with what looked like some effort. She peered past me at Ashley and her friends, still shrieking with delight.

  ‘What’s that all about?’ she asked, frowning.

  ‘Ashley’s going to the half-term party with your brother,’ I told her in a flat tone. ‘She’s kind of excited about it.’

  Polly rolled her eyes, though there was amusement, not malice, there.

  ‘Good for her. It seems she’s achieved the impossible.’ She picked at a chip and dunked it into some ketchup, then put it whole in her mouth.

  ‘Does Ade really like Ashley?’ I said, a little surprised by my own forthrightness. ‘I mean, is he genuine?’

  Polly finished chewing, then dabbed at her mouth with a tissue. ‘Who knows?’ she shrugged. ‘He likes you more. But then you already know that.’

  ‘Not going to happen.’ I bristled, very much aware I was sitting next to a potential murder suspect. ‘He’s not my type.’

  Polly picked up her burger and nodded. ‘I forgot, yeah. You’re more into the shy, retiring type.’

  It was an insult and she knew it. At least, I think she did. Yet again Polly was clouding clear thoughts.

  ‘I have to go,’ I said. ‘It’s been nice chatting with you.’

  ‘Don’t go,’ she said abruptly. Her expression was intense as she stared at me. She had pushed away her plate of food and her pale hands were folded into each other in a childlike pose.

  ‘I have to. Well …’ I hesitated reluctantly. ‘I only have a few minutes.’

  ‘I know no one likes me,’ she said. ‘I know you don’t think much of me either.’

  ‘Polly.’ I had been hovering, half off my seat, but I sat back down. ‘What’s going on?’

  She frowned anxiously. ‘Too much. We’ve got some girl hanging around saying she’s, like, related to us or something. My mum’s gone mental again – won’t speak to anyone.’

  ‘Olivia.’ I nodded. ‘I heard. Why do you think she’s saying these things?’

  Polly shrugged miserably. ‘I don’t know. I guess she’s a little bit disturbed or something.’

  ‘She has just been literally holed up in a cave for God knows how long,’ I said. ‘She’s hardly going to be in her right mind.’

  ‘I guess …
’ Polly breathed out slowly. ‘I just wish she’d leave us alone. My mum doesn’t need this. Not now.’

  I sighed. ‘Well, get a test then. Put the whole thing to rest.’

  Polly’s jaw visibly tightened. She looked away then, silently indicating that the direction the conversation was going was not to her liking.

  That figured. I checked my watch.

  ‘I really have to go now,’ I said. ‘But maybe there’s someone you can talk to. Someone who might understand.’

  Polly turned slowly back to me. ‘I thought I had someone who understood,’ she said. ‘I mean, who really listened to me – got who I was. But I haven’t seen him for days and I think he’s abandoned me – just like my real mum did. Just like everyone does, in the end.’

  ‘Who understood you? Your brother?’ I felt just a smidgeon of tenderness for her. She looked so lost.

  Polly’s pale-pink lips trembled slightly and she shook her head quickly. ‘No … not Ade.’ She looked up at me, ‘Luca. He understood. We talked for hours on Saturday night. That’s why he was out all night. He was listening to me.’

  ‘Luca.’ Any tenderness evaporated. ‘Luca understands you?’

  ‘I think he knows what it’s like to be an outsider – you know, apart from his real family, trying to fit in.’ She looked up at me from under her pale lashes. ‘I’m sorry – that must sound like I’m trying to get with him, but he was just a friend to me. A proper friend.’

  I stared at her. I couldn’t decide whether this was just another malicious joke, or if Polly genuinely believed what she was saying. Three months ago I would have dismissed it, but I couldn’t be sure any more. Who knew what Luca had kept secret from me But I knew one thing. I couldn’t rise to it. There was too much to lose.

  ‘Yeah, well,’ I told her. ‘Luca’s gone, I’m afraid.’

  Polly’s forlorn look turned decidedly steely.

  ‘Gone? Where?’ She almost glared at me.