To Be by Your Side

by Lilybeth Zefram

  ‘Oh no, you aren’t pawning me off now,’ Katie said. ‘I have to stay here and look after you and the babe.’

  ‘No, do not feel like you need to.’ Evelyn felt tears.

  ‘No, milady, I need to do this. You are my best friend.’

  Now Evelyn swatted her arm. ‘Don’t you dare call me that!’

  ‘Yes, milady,’ Katie teased. Evelyn realised that Katie was doing this to prevent her from weeping––again.

  ‘It is unladylike to wager,’ Evelyn continued, ‘but I would wager, if I could, that James is going to take a page out of Uncle Tom’s and Grandpapa’s book from when you came to be with us. James told me at the time that he overheard them planning.’

  Katie smiled. ‘It is good. I hope that Papa will come home for a bit. I am sure he would be more than happy to help, too. Should I write to him?’

  ‘If you wish.’ Evelyn smiled. ‘However, it would be nice to see Uncle Tom again. It is hard to believe that he has already been in India for a year after he got that leave following Waterloo.’ Her uncle had been made colonel after Napoleon’s defeat, probably not as quickly as he could have made the rank, considering the man was in his midforties. He had been barely a teen when his nephew had been born.

  ‘Perhaps I should tell James that I wish to tell Papa about your babe,’ her trusted maid thought out loud.

  ‘You really don’t need to ask,’ Evelyn assured her. ‘I trust you both. You and Uncle are the only family James and I have.’

  * * * *

  The following week was the engagement party between Matthew and his Lady Annabel. Feeling rather cowardly, Evelyn begged morning sickness, although she had known for weeks that she had to attend the event. She had been busy talking herself into it, too. As was typical, she made morning sickness her excuse and then while she was home with Katie and John hovering over her, she hadn’t been able to keep a bite of dinner down. By now the entire staff knew about her pregnancy even if no one had said anything to confirm or deny.

  ‘Perhaps we need to get a physician? He might have a tonic or whatnot,’ John said worriedly.

  Katie shook her head. ‘No, not yet. Evie just might need rest. I saw it happen to other ladies that followed the drum and were with child. Travelling would often put too much pressure on them physically and they would become sick.’ Katie had really come into her own in the past week. Suddenly the young woman remembered a number of little things that she learnt while following her father in the military.

  ‘I’m comfortable now and I feel much better,’ Evelyn pointed out while they spoke of her as if she weren’t there.

  ‘See, some rest and cool flannels always did the trick. In later months, if the lady’s legs swelled with fluid, we would massage the muscles as well.’

  A couple of hours later, James came back home from the party, probably rather early. Evelyn was only half asleep and so woke when her brother opened her door.

  ‘James? You are back already?’ she asked groggily.

  ‘I wanted to check on you. John seems worried but Katie assures me you are well. Suddenly, she is quite the expert.’ He smiled as he approached her. James sat on the edge of her bed. He looked at her carefully as she sat up. ‘The babe has grown a lot already.’

  ‘Only another couple of weeks and I will only have five months left,’ Evelyn said softly.

  ‘I know,’ James said. ‘The way I see it, you can go out without much problem, with all that frou-frou you women insist on wearing until we leave for the estate.’ He smiled. ‘The rest is being organised. I think perhaps we can say the babe is your godchild and the mother died in birth. From there, it would be seen as quite proper for me to adopt him or her, too.’

  ‘I like that best.’ She nodded, then shook her head. ‘If I hadn’t been so stupid...’

  ‘No, you weren’t stupid. Mayhap a little foolish and thinking with your heart, but I can hardly condemn you. I think with my heart when it comes to John.’

  She smiled but said nothing.

  ‘What are you thinking?’

  ‘Nothing!’ she cried defensively.

  ‘Come on, out with it,’ James ordered.

  ‘I was thinking that you were thinking with another part of your anatomy.’

  ‘I am going to die of a heart attack from some of the things you come out with.’ James shook his head, amused. ‘But that makes me wonder what shocking things run through your head. They do say it’s the quiet ones you have to be wary of.’

  Chapter 2

  Six Months Later, Winter of 1816-17

  ‘Don’t worry about me,’ Evelyn told her brother. She was going to have the babe any day now and had been strictly ensconced at her uncle’s cottage.

  The man had quickly come to his niece’s aid when Katie told her father the news. He had written back with directions to open his cottage and use it. He hadn’t said a word condemning Evelyn. Instead, he had given his nephew strict instructions to take care of his sister. All that had arrived six weeks earlier, when Evelyn moved from London to the estate.

  ‘I will worry. You are my baby sister and you are having my niece or nephew.’ James folded his arms with an equally stubborn look on his face, which left Evelyn unsure whether she was amused or frustrated. It was like fighting with herself. John was scarce, she noted, probably knowing that he wouldn’t be able to talk any sense into in either of them. James had become very overprotective of his sister, which to Evelyn simply meant he had become more stubborn. ‘I do not need to go to some wedding.’

  ‘The wedding of your friend,’ Evelyn reminded him, although it pained her to inwardly admit that they were speaking of the father of her child. ‘It is acceptable for me to miss, since you have already sent on apologies that I need to be with a dear friend, who oddly enough doesn’t exist. But it might seem odd that you wish to be attending a birth with your sister.’

  ‘I do not like it that I am leaving you alone,’ her brother stubbornly argued.

  ‘I am not alone. I have Katie here and we clearly got this stubbornness from Papa, because for some reason, Uncle Tom turned up on the doorstep last week!’

  It was true. Their uncle had put in emergency leave and left India for six months. He had arrived vowing to shoot the man that got his niece with child and left her. That had gotten James started and the two started to scheme about doing just that. Luckily Katie was able to calm her father down. It was Evelyn who pointed out that Uncle Thomas did not wed his mistress when he got her with child. It had been at this time that Uncle Thomas admitted to his parents that he had not known that his lover was married and on the run from her husband. That had been a bombshell and a good argument, Evelyn had conceded.

  ‘Evie has a point, lad,’ their uncle said from behind James. ‘Our girl is in safe hands here. And if you are lucky, the child will not be here until after you get back.’

  James grunted.

  ‘Thank you, Uncle Tom.’ Evelyn beamed at the older man.

  ‘And you, my dear, need to make sure you remain calm. Word in the camps always was that at this stage, tension brings on the child,’ the colonel grumbled kindly.

  ‘My lord,’ John announced, ‘all is in order and I have your trunks ready for the journey. The driver and I will be ready when you are.’

  ‘There you go, lad.’ Colonel Thomas Mayhew slapped his nephew’s shoulder. ‘We’ve all managed to conspire against you. Off you go. Have a good time at the wedding.’

  ‘And send on my best wishes,’ Evelyn added. It wasn’t hard to say such things anymore. Evelyn had more important things to do and think about. With her family being as wonderful as they had been, it was hard not to want to send kind wishes to the man with whom she had fallen in love, even if it had only been one sided.

  ‘Very well.’ James’s words were resigned. Evelyn was pleased to see the fight go out of her brother. London would probably be good for him, she decided.

  * * * *

  His good friend was getting married and James Mayhew wa
s bored. His thoughts were still lingering on his sister. He wondered if one of the men in the room was the father of the babe. James mentally counted which ones were married, and which of those Evie wouldn’t know whether or not they were married. Add to this the fact he was sick of hearing about her grace, the Duchess of Rushmore’s cousin, whose wife had become the talk of the ton. It was honestly something that did not interest James to hear. However, it was undeniable that the gossip mill was working overtime tonight.

  The one good thing was that while in London he was able to visit with Evie’s eye care physician. The man was rather excited because there was a chap by the name of Hawkins who was experimenting with glass and how to treat it in order to make lenses. He recalled when Evie was a child and her sight began to fail that her father was told that many advances had been made recently. For instance, some chap had charted visual field, or whatever the hell that was meant to mean. Apparently, it was a good thing. Now James had three different types of some newfangled glass to test on his sister. Evelyn’s eye astigmatism was very specific and affected both close and distance vision, which apparently the physician decided would be easier to test than a more specific type of visual problem. The physician had now begun to suspect that she wasn’t actually going blind, but rather she needed spectacles for all types of vision. That, James decided, was a relief to hear.

  Rushmore, birth name Edward, the brother of the groom, approached him with another gentleman. ‘Haven’t had a chance to speak to you all day, Dalton. How goes it?’

  ‘Well, well.’ James nodded at his friend. ‘Nothing of note seems to be happening other than your brother tying the knot.’

  ‘Where is your lovely sister? I heard from my mother she could not attend,’ Rushmore asked. ‘My wife is understandably upset, too, as they are friends. But the ladies have been writing to each other. I suppose Lauren takes that as consolation.’ Rushmore motioned to the gentleman behind him, ‘Dalton, this is my wife’s cousin, Lord George Marsden, Duke of Windermere.’

  The two men politely exchanged niceties. James had heard of his grace the Duke of Windermere recently because his wife had caused a stir with her recent scandal. As he heard it the lady had left her husband for the continent. Regardless, James had the good sense not to mention the scandal. The chap was already the talk of the event after the bride and groom.

  ‘Indeed. A friend of Evie’s—she was widowed some weeks ago—is now due to have a babe. She asked Evie to be with her. The lady is alone, no family to speak of. I convinced Evie that she should be with her friend.’ James paused for a moment. ‘At any rate, she will be the child’s godmother, too. Seems only fitting.’ Then he added, ‘And as for your wife, Evie does miss Lady Lauren as well. She has promised to meet once all this business with her other friend is over.’

  ‘That sister of yours has always been kindhearted,’ Rushmore pointed out. ‘It is kind of her. My wife is ever thankful for the support of her brother’s sister when our son was born last year.’ The man’s chest almost visibly puffed at the mere mention of his heir.

  Fleetingly, James thought Rushmore could be the father of his nephew or niece, then he realised that Evelyn would have known that he was married. After all, she was friends with the man’s wife.

  ‘Dalton.’ Now it was the groom that joined the group. ‘How are you, man?’

  ‘Good, good.’ James nodded. ‘I was just explaining that Evie is with a widowed friend who is having a child. Evie is going to be the godmother and the lady is alone, so it was only natural that Evie support the lady. I have been asked to stand with Evie as godfather, and am honoured to do so. However, Evie does regret, however, not attending your wedding.’

  ‘That is kind of her,’ Matthew said with a smile. ‘I am sure we will all see her again soon enough, at any rate. And that sounds just like your sister, kind to a fault.’

  ‘I was just saying the same, little brother.’ Rushmore nodded. ‘Damn fine lady and a credit to you, James. I’m surprised no man has snapped her up for himself.’

  Mentally, James thought that some man almost had. ‘Yes, well, best-kept secret and all that. Besides, with her eyesight, she doesn’t like to put herself out.’

  ‘I will have to speak to my Janie,’ the Duke of Rushmore said, clearly thinking. ‘I am sure next season my wife would love to matchmake Lady Evelyn.’

  Matthew frowned. ‘Perhaps the lady would not like it.’

  ‘Ah, my softhearted brother, I am sure Lady Evelyn is a romantic.’

  ‘Indeed.’ James smiled. ‘She is waiting for her Prince Charming or some such.’

  ‘There you have it, Matthew.’ The duke nodded. ‘And you should know, Dalton, my wife can be credited with two of her friends finding husbands and falling head over ears in love and all the rest.’

  James chuckled. ‘You, Rushmore, seem to be a closet romantic yourself.’

  ‘Ah, weddings bring it out in everyone.’

  ‘True.’ James smiled, thinking of his lover at the townhouse.

  * * * *

  James was relieved by the time he made it to his townhouse. He hadn’t bothered with any servants since he only intended to be in London long enough for the wedding and then get back to Evelyn. It was wonderful when John welcomed him home. Then as soon as they were closed off to the world, John kissed him thoroughly.

  ‘How was the wedding?’

  ‘It was nice enough, but I am so glad to be back here with you now,’ James replied honestly.

  ‘Tomorrow morning we will leave as soon as we have breakfast. We can be back at the cottage by midafternoon,’ John added, holding his lover closely.

  ‘Sweet Lord,’ groaned James, though not in pleasure. ‘I stood there between worry for Evie and then wondering if any of the men there were the babe’s father.’

  ‘It does not matter in the least. You will be the child’s adoptive father. You and Evelyn can raise your niece or nephew.’

  ‘I hate that some bastard decided he could take advantage of my sister,’ James spat.

  John sighed, kissing the man he loved once more. ‘Hush, now, that is the past. What matters is what we all make of the future. I for one am eternally grateful that your sister is supportive of us together.’

  ‘She is quite amazing.’ James grinned. ‘Rushmore seems to think so, too, though he couldn’t be the father. Evie went to the man’s wedding and the baptism of his son, after all. But Rushmore thinks his wife has the matchmaking touch and thinks Evelyn’s Prince Charming could be found.’

  John snorted. ‘All you titled men can be ridiculously romantic at times.’ He tugged at James’s clothing, smiling. ‘But I’m not so romantic. How about I fuck you hard?’

  ‘Oh, that is pure romance, you handsome devil.’ James moaned the moment he felt John stroking and squeezing his cock.

  ‘That’s it, love,’ John whispered. ‘I love it when you whimper for me. So beautiful and all mine.’ He nipped at one of James’s earlobes.

  * * * *

  Meanwhile, at the end of his wedding reception, the honourable Lord Matthew Ashton found himself between relief and disappointment that he did not see Lady Evelyn. Hearing that Evelyn was going to be a child’s godmother had him thinking that she would be a good mother, her sight notwithstanding. It made him think that Evie would produce beautiful children.

  He knew he could not dwell on it, but he regretted their parting and he regretted his parting words. As he had for months, he was still hesitant to name the emotion elicited, but he knew that there was—there had been—more to their coupling than the physical. It made him ill to hear his brother suggest finding a man for Evie. And yet, hypocrite that he was, he was going to be touching another woman.

  Chapter 3

  ‘I’m back! Did I miss anything?’ James demanded soon after arriving back at the cottage.

  ‘The babe is still inside me,’ Evelyn grumbled. She looked up at her brother and smiled. She tried to move in her seat but the babe got in the way more and more. The b
abe had made her so round she had trouble simply standing from sitting, and bending over was impossible. Katie often massaged her legs these days because of the swelling. Yet, the babe somehow found room to continue to grow.

  Without being asked, James went to help her sit up.

  James gave his sister a hug and a kiss. He smiled. ‘I just felt the babe kicking me. The little one is growing so fast.’ His voice sounded happy enough to Evelyn though she seemed to be constantly tired as of late. ‘Well, you look wonderful and adorable, dear Eve,’ James continued happily. He helped her down on the settee once more. ‘Has the midwife or physician attended you yet?’ James had called in a personal favour and found a physician who would keep Evelyn’s identity safe, for a price, of course.

  ‘Yes, everything is well. The midwife predicts another six days, judging by the babe’s position,’ Evelyn replied. ‘She is going to visit me every afternoon. Uncle tried to persuade her to stay, but she is the midwife for a large area and has other women she must see.’

  ‘And you feel well?’

  ‘I pass water constantly, my feet are sore, my back is sore, my chest is tender, and my legs and hands are swollen.’ Evelyn grimaced. ‘Other than that, all is well.’

  ‘Well, here is something. I have news from your physician in London.’

  She looked at him warily.

  ‘I know you hate always going to the physician about your sight, but potentially, there might be a new type of glass to use to help you see. Because you cannot see close up and far away, the world is all blurred, so your physician is inclined to think that with new advances that you need a more complicated type of eye glass,’ James hastily explained to his sister. ‘Besides the fact that nothing else can be seen when they shine lights into your eyes and they act otherwise normally.’

  ‘Let me guess,’ Evelyn said, snarky, ‘it’s going to take years to perfect.’