To Be by Your Side

by Lilybeth Zefram

  ‘Well, I suppose that goes without saying. There is a chap called Hawkins who is playing with a number of things and looking to patent a new type of glass,’ he explained. ‘The physician gave me a few different types of this new glass. I will take notes and send them on to him. He has no clue if any of these will help but he hopes it is a step in the right direction.’

  Evelyn grumbled, ‘Oh, very well. Help for the greater good and advancing science and all that nonsense he seems to spout when he comes up with some crackpot theory or another.’

  ‘Very good.’ James grinned. ‘But we won’t worry about rushing to do any of that. What of the babe?’ He placed his palm on her stomach, more than anything enjoying his niece or nephew kicking him, even if the babe was illegitimate. ‘Still going strong, it feels, probably desperate to come into the world.’

  ‘Other than what I just told you?’ she asked, smiling at him. ‘You are such a mother hen, James. Really, the midwife said no more than a week. You really need to stop worrying.’

  James hugged her again. ‘I cannot do that, dear. I am your big brother.’ He placed a loud kiss on her forehead.

  ‘And I am always glad to say that he does right by you, dear.’ Their uncle stepped into the room. ‘Now, lad, don’t go agitating Evie. Making a mother agitated can make the babe come on. The midwife said as much, anyway.’

  ‘Uncle Thomas likes the midwife,’ Evelyn whispered conspiratorially.

  ‘Nonsense, girl, I simply told the lady that her skills would serve extremely well in the family camps of many a military company,’ their uncle dismissed. ‘And that was after Evie had her false labour cramps yesterday.’

  ‘What?’ James all but shouted and glared at his sister.

  Evelyn waved, dismissing her brother’s concerns. ‘I was told it was normal. It is my body getting ready to push the baby out. Some women get them every day for a couple of weeks before the babe actually comes. I was told it was a good thing and nothing to worry about.’

  James was placated then.

  Evelyn decided to change the topic. Glutton for punishment that she was, she asked, ‘How was the wedding?’

  ‘Good, it was good. A number of people were disappointed you could not come, but I gave the story that you are with a friend who is with child,’ James replied softly. He smiled then. ‘Rushmore, who is disgustingly happy with his wife and son, boasts his wife’s matchmaking skills. She will no doubt start on you next season. Lauren was also one who expressed the most that she wished you were there.’

  ‘Matchmaking me will be complicated.’ Evelyn smiled, rubbing her stomach, feeling the baby kick. She felt the usual immense rush of love she now felt when she thought of the baby or when it would kick her gently. ‘Half-blind spinster with a child. Even if the story is that we have adopted my goddaughter.’

  ‘I am sorry it must be this way,’ James said gently.

  She nodded. ‘Yes, unlike gentlemen, ladies cannot claim their bastard children without repercussions or a simple smattering of gossip.’

  ‘You are making the best of it, my dear brave niece,’ Uncle Thomas said, patting her hand. ‘I am so very pleased that you and your brother have handled these things. All that is left is for James and I to get the devil.’

  ‘The father does not matter anymore.’ Evelyn shook her head. ‘I am a woman that was blinded by lust and acted like a foolish girl. I am just one of those who could not walk away and forget my mistakes.’

  ‘If you are lucky you might well find your knight in shining armour,’ James told her gently.

  She did not say it, but Evelyn found herself thinking, ‘But I will not see him.’

  * * * *

  Five days later, Evelyn was walking about the modest garden of the cottage, which backed out onto a thick wooded area near a drainage dyke. She enjoyed taking in the smells and noises of the animals that were scampering about. Katie was telling her about the colours and she in turn told Katie about what she could hear and smell. Her uncle was trailing behind the ladies, occasionally interjecting with his own thoughts. He had been telling them about India often since he had returned but it was clear the man was happy to have the excuse to return to the motherland.

  ‘I must rest. My back is somewhat sore,’ Evelyn told her cousin.

  Forever on alert, she smelled and felt her uncle come up behind her. Kindly he massaged her back. Evelyn had discovered that while her brother was hopeless at rubbing her sore muscles, her uncle was absolutely brilliant.

  ‘We are perhaps overexerting you, dear,’ he said kindly. ‘I think perhaps we should go back inside. James should be a considerable way through his book, though unlikely would be thankful for us stopping his reading.’

  Evelyn laughed. It was true that her brother enjoyed nothing more than reading books on just about any topic. She often said that he read for both of them. On lazy afternoons, for years, he had read to her when she asked. If she had been a bluestocking when she had had better sight, then her brother was positively eccentric.

  Katie spoke, making plans of what to do when they got inside, but Evelyn could barely hear her cousin. Instead, quite suddenly and unexpectedly, her muscles felt heavy and it was difficult to keep her footing. Then there was a pain in her back which made her groan. It was different to what she had felt before, sharper than the dull aches she had been experiencing.

  ‘Breathe, Evie,’ Katie told her gently. Katie had a vague recollection of childbirth from when she was with her mama and papa in the military camps. Evelyn naturally trusted her cousin, but she had also spoken to the midwife. Katie had recalled the old wives tale of placing a knife beneath the mattress in order to cut the pain. Evelyn had scoffed at this, but the midwife and Katie had both explained to her the importance of breathing and not panting too much. The midwife had further emphasised the necessity to push, especially when her experienced midwife told her so. Likewise, she had been told that there would be times she would want to push, to force the babe out, but she must not. As soon as she entered the chamber she would be confined to, Evelyn had been told by Katie that it was important for the chamber to be closed off and the fire built up so as to not catch a cold.

  Uncle Thomas had a tight grip on her, thankfully allowing her to stay standing. He held her with one arm and continued rubbing her back. He, too, had listened closely to the midwife’s orders and the woman had said that rubbing through contractions usually helped. He was murmuring words of comfort to his niece and sounded remarkably composed despite the situation. However, it couldn’t be said that it was at all unexpected.

  ‘We will have to make our way slowly back inside. Looks like this little Mayhew is suddenly in a hurry,’ Thomas told his niece kindly. ‘Katie, go on in and tell James to either fetch the midwife or send his secretary to get her.’

  ‘Yes, Papa.’ Katie nodded breathlessly and dashed inside.

  Evelyn leaned heavily against her uncle. ‘You and James are so wonderful to me. Yet I have quite ruined myself. But I’ve always known I would never wed so this is my one chance.’

  ‘Nonsense, Evie,’ her uncle admonished. ‘You’ve just not met the right one. But when you do, you will know.’

  ‘Like Katie’s mama?’

  ‘Yes, in another life she may have become your aunt, but alas, she had escaped an abusive husband and they never divorced.’ Her uncle sighed. ‘But that is nothing to signify. Not anymore. I had happy years with her and Katie is here and luckily you all welcomed her, no questions. Well, your grandparents took some time, but we are family today.’

  Suddenly Evelyn started to cry. ‘I hate that I let everyone down.’

  Thomas cradled his niece against him and let her cry. Evelyn tried to calm herself down when her uncle began to soothe her, talking her out of her outburst. Evelyn knew that her uncle saw her as an innocent, just another foolish girl that had been tricked by an experienced man that they would be together forever.

  ‘Hush, if we were another family, this would be very different.
But this is our family, this is the Mayhews, and we will do as we must.’ He kissed the top of her head. ‘You are a wonderful young lady and I see my big brother in you every day. Despite how this happened, I know that you will be a wonderful mother. And with luck and hope—you will find a man you will love, so much so you may one day tell him about this and he will love you and your baby.’

  ‘I’d really like that.’ Evelyn sniffed. ‘But I know that finding that man will be like chasing smoke.’

  ‘Nonsense. You just need to try,’ Thomas admonished. ‘One goes back on the horse after being thrown, not avoid them for the rest of one’s life.’

  Evelyn looked up at her uncle. Unable to see his expression clearly as she was not able to concentrate on his face, she heard that there were equal measures of teasing and seriousness in his voice. ‘You are comparing love with riding a horse?’

  ‘Indeed, the concepts are different but the general idea is the same,’ he replied matter-of-factly. There was a slamming door at the cottage. ‘And here is your brother, running about like a headless chicken. I think it is good that he doesn’t want to wed. Could you imagine what he would be like with his own child?’ Thomas mused.

  Evelyn wondered if her uncle knew about James’s inclination. She couldn’t think further, however, because her brother was upon them, rather sounding like a chicken with his head cut off. She had known from the start he was going to be quite useless while she was having the babe, though James had immediately embraced the prospect of becoming an uncle with enthusiasm and participation.

  ‘I am fine for the time being,’ Evelyn told him. ‘The contractions will be far apart. Then when the babe is closer, they will be much closer and I will need to push the babe out. The midwife told me all about it and Katie read a book to me about birthing.’

  James embraced her. ‘I have sent John to fetch the midwife. Perhaps you might like some tea? You were told you need to relax—’

  She cut him off. ‘And you need to relax, too, James. But yes, tea and a nice sit down might be nice.’

  It was a most surreal feeling.

  Here she was, about to become a mother and she was trying to keep her brother—the uncle-to-be—calm. Despite feeling the babe and the pain of the first contraction, it still didn’t quite feel real to her. It was like when their grandparents had taken them to the continent. Even after disembarking the ship in Rome she had found it difficult to think she was not in England. She could still see a good ten feet in front of her clearly at that time, so not only were many of the sights and smells were the same, so were the sights. It was not until they saw iconic Roman ruins that it had started to sink in where she was.

  ‘Remember when Grandmama and Grandpapa took us to Italy a couple of years after Mama and Papa died?’

  ‘Yes, of course. I was sixteen and you were twelve. It was a wonderful experience to have had with them.’ James smiled. ‘They were always so good to us.’

  ‘Mm, yes.’ Evelyn sighed softly. ‘You were meant to meet us, Uncle Thomas, do you remember?’

  ‘Indeed,’ he said softly, ‘but Katie had the measles. I had told Father that I would only meet if I could bring Katie and her mother along. She would have been no more than six or seven and my parents only grudgingly accepted her in my life then.’

  ‘It would have been nice. That was a good trip.’ Evelyn nodded. ‘I will have to bring the baby on such a trip when it is older.’

  ‘Already making plans, eh?’ James chuckled fondly. ‘First we need to get you inside and the babe needs to be born before you can enact any grand plans, Evie.’

  ‘Yes, I know.’

  * * * *

  James was feeling less the Earl of Dalton and more a pile of wet rag. He and his uncle were sitting in the drawing room, while his little sister was attended by his cousin and the midwife. He hated hearing when Evelyn went through each birthing pain. He found himself gulping down whiskey each time.

  ‘The midwife has already told us that Evie is quite more sensible with her pains than other women,’ Uncle Thomas pointed out.

  ‘I really want to kill that bastard who did this to her.’ James slammed down his drink on the table.

  ‘And I will go over what is left of the chap.’ Uncle Thomas nodded. ‘But you know your sister is as stubborn as the rest of us. She’s determined to keep her secret. She feels ashamed and embarrassed as it is.’

  ‘Evie is just so sweet and innocent,’ raged James, ‘and it happened after Grandmama’s funeral. I could just imagine. She was probably promised the world.’

  ‘You and I both know, lad, that it isn’t an uncommon occurrence. Some families are like ours, others cast the daughter aside, and others hide the fact and adopt the babe within or outside of the family.’

  James shook his head. ‘I feel as if I am the babe’s father. I love my niece or nephew, whichever it may be. I could not imagine not having Evie and her babe.’

  ‘You are just more sentimental than most, I would say it was a Mayhew trait.’ Thomas grinned. ‘Look at your father and myself. But I understand. I could not imagine life without my daughter. I just hope that she has more luck than her mother and I ever had.’ Thomas sighed. ‘And you must remember, despite the fact that you will adopt the babe, you are, at this moment, the only father figure for this child.’

  ‘What about you, old man?’ James retorted, suddenly grinning at his uncle.

  ‘Hmm, I will claim grandfather status, perhaps. I am going to be a great uncle, not much difference really, particularly in this family,’ the man told his nephew.

  James looked at the clock in disdain. It was now a quarter past midnight. ‘How much longer?’ he groaned, throwing himself back.

  ‘As long as it takes.’

  ‘It has been fourteen hours, my lord.’ John had just walked into the drawing room. He had been on the continual mission of providing warm water. ‘The ladies seem confident that the babe will be arriving soon. I’ve been told that I will not need to provide any more water for the time being.’ The secretary looked between the men. ‘Do you require a drink, my lord?’

  ‘You still need to fetch some water. Get a pitcher of water, lad,’ Thomas ordered. ‘We’ve been drinking too much and I don’t think we need to be utterly sotted when we finally meet the child.’

  ‘Thank you, John.’ James looked at his lover, itching to hold the man in his arms.

  John left again.

  Thomas nodded. ‘Good man, there.’

  ‘Yes, his legal skills have been a godsend preparing for the babe.’

  Thomas simply nodded again.

  * * * *

  Evelyn felt as though she was soaking in sweat. The nightgown she had changed into was certainly damp. Her cousin was valiantly mopping her brow. However, both she and Katie were following the directions of the midwife. Evelyn had no idea about childbirth. The midwife was the expert and though she was a direct, no-nonsense woman, she was also exceedingly kind.

  ‘You are there, dear,’ the midwife told her in her measured, gentle tones. ‘Just a few more contractions but the head is nicely in place. I want you to push when I tell you to do so. Do not push, no matter how much you want to, when I tell you not to.’

  Evelyn groaned. ‘Yes.’

  ‘Good girl.’ The midwife nodded at Katie. ‘And now you, Katie, you need to allow your cousin to hold onto you.’

  Evelyn could feel the build-up and now instinctively knew the next contraction was coming. When she was told to, she pushed with all the energy she could muster. At this point she couldn’t scream, just groaned and strained. As soon as it was over, she gasped for breath.

  ‘Good, almost there. Just remember to listen to my voice,’ the midwife continued. ‘Don’t push quite yet...don’t push... Now push, push.’

  Evelyn held onto her cousin and pushed again, all but lifting herself into a sitting position. ‘Lie back down, dear,’ she was told.

  It seemed like this continued for an age, but it was really no more than tw
enty minutes.

  ‘One more and the babe will be here.’

  Evelyn was relieved when she heard this because she was fairly confident that she wouldn’t last much longer.

  ‘That’s it, push, push, push!’

  The excitement in the room heightened.

  Evelyn pushed, feeling a sudden rush of energy, helping her along.

  ‘Keep pushing...and here it comes...’

  Evelyn felt the oddest sensation that came with the baby emerging from her body. She gasped for breath as she heard the midwife exclaim that she had a baby girl. The midwife then expertly clamped and cut the cord that connected Evelyn to her daughter before swaddling the babe in a towel.

  Evelyn hated not being able to see her child clearly. All she saw was a blurred body. The only reason she knew that was blood on her daughter’s skin was because there was a smear of white tissue and red on the baby’s lighter skin. Her baby had a shock of dark hair, much like her own. Evelyn could only just make out the nose, closed eyes, and mouth. Of course she could hear her babe’s cries and feel the movement of her tiny body as she bellowed before quickly settling.

  ‘I cannot see her properly,’ Evelyn told her cousin.

  Katie was crying. She sniffled. ‘She is absolutely gorgeous, Evie.’ She started to describe the child’s features.

  ‘Your job isn’t quite done, dear,’ the midwife said softly. ‘Let us get ready to expel the afterbirth and your cousin can introduce the babe to her uncle and papa.’ The midwife was currently under the assumption that Uncle Thomas, dashing older man that he was, was the father of the child. No one had bothered to correct the assumption.

  Katie kissed Evelyn on the forehead. ‘You have done so well, Evie. She is beautiful. We’ll be back as soon as you are ready.’

  ‘Good girl,’ the midwife said approvingly. ‘Leave us to finish the job. Now let this little one get a start on her life.’

  As soon as they were alone, the midwife said to Evelyn. ‘This is going to take just a little bit longer. So we will let your family take care of the babe and I will take care of you. Then I can clean the little girl and you can try to feed her.’