by Zoe Lynne
“Come on, baby girl. Get up.”
Cassidy helped Brynn to her feet and draped one of her slender arms around her shoulders. Acting as a support bracket, she slowly made her way around the corner to her front door. Her mother and grandmother sat outside, drinking something undoubtedly alcoholic and laughing over conversation.
“Dear gods, what happened?” Her mother rose to her feet and sprinted down the paved driveway. As usual, her grandmother followed closely behind.
“Forget what happened, come inside and get washed up,” Nana said, taking Brynn’s hand and leading her into the house.
Cassidy trudged up the drive, looking down at her feet the whole way and ignoring her mother’s piercing stare. Once inside, Brynn disappeared into the kitchen, and Cassidy’s mother walked around so Cassidy had no choice but to look at her.
“Well? What happened to Brynn? Was it that Laura girl again?” Her mother looked angry as all get-out.
“Yeah, it was. It’s complicated, ’kay? Can I just go make sure Brynn’s okay before I start to explain?”
“Fine, but I want answers, and so help me gods if that evil young lady did anything to hurt either of you….”
Cassidy ignored her mother’s commentary and made a beeline for the kitchen, where she found Nana sitting across from Brynn, a handful of tissues in one hand and a glass of water in the other. Brynn was still crying, and for the hundredth time that evening, Cassidy didn’t know what to do about it.
“What happened, child? Are you hurt?” Nana softly inquired as she pushed the glass of water toward Brynn, who just shook her head.
“It was that evil girl, Laura something,” Cassidy’s mom chimed in. She closed the space between the table and herself, and Cassidy followed behind.
“Did she wreck your car too?”
“No, she wrecked her life more like it,” Cassidy said, standing beside Brynn’s chair.
“No one has the power to wreck your life. Not in high school, anyway. Do you want to talk about it?” Nana pressed. Brynn shook her head, and Cassidy took the lead.
“She told Brynn’s parents that she was a… that she’s into girls.”
Nana and Miranda exchanged glances, but they remained silent for a moment. Finally, they spoke at once. “Are you?” Cassidy’s mom asked, while Nana simply said, “So?”
Cassidy realized neither woman made the connection that she herself was tied into the implication. To clear things up—because at this point, why shouldn’t she?—she spoke up. “Yeah, she is. And so am I. I think. I mean, we think. I mean… we like each other, ya know?”
More silence. This time, the quiet dragged on for what felt like an eternity, and Brynn looked up at Cassidy, mascara-streaked eyes wide behind her pink bangs. Stares bounced around the room. No one looked directly at anyone else. It was as if no one knew exactly what to say and no one wanted to make a bad situation worse. It was the hoarse, tear-filled voice of the girl who hadn’t uttered a word since her father told her to get out who finally broke the silence. The words were very simply “I love her.”
Nana’s wise voice gently followed that statement. “Well then, that’s cause for happiness, not tears.”
“Unless Cassidy doesn’t feel the same way,” Cassidy’s mother added.
“No, I do. I totes do love her,” Cassidy admitted without hesitation, and damn if it didn’t feel good to finally say that out loud to the two women in her life who mattered as much as Brynn did. “But I don’t know how to make this okay. Her dad kicked her out of their house.”
Nana looked like someone had smacked her across the face with a religious book. To her credit, however, she simply cleared her throat and said, “That’s just ignorant.”
“Mom, not everyone has been in love with a woman before. Most people aren’t as open-minded as I am, either,” Cassidy’s mom said before turning to Brynn. “You’re more than welcome to stay here as long as you need to, Brynn… but I think it would be appropriate for you girls to maybe sleep on opposite ends of the bed.”
Nana scoffed. “Miranda, please. Do you really think that sex is on their minds after the night they’ve clearly had?”
Cassidy’s mother blinked and sat quietly, clearly attempting to figure out what the rules of engagement were for young lesbians. “They’re teenage girls. Isn’t sex always on their minds?”
Cassidy turned nine hundred shades of crimson. “Mom, we’re right here, you know.”
The banter bouncing back and forth was apparently the one thing Brynn needed to lighten her mood. Her lips curled, and the smile on her face pushed dimples into her rosy cheeks. It filled her eyes with the innocent sparkle Cassidy had grown to adore. It was the most beautiful, genuine smile Cassidy could’ve hoped for under the circumstances.
“Finally, we’ve got this poor girl to smile,” Nana said, not a little too proudly, as if she’d accomplished the feat on her own. “Why don’t you two go get washed up, and I’ll call Brynn’s parents to let them know she’s okay.”
“No!” Brynn yelled. She immediately covered her mouth and quieted her voice. “I mean, please don’t. I don’t think now is a good time.”
“Well, they are your parents, sweetie, and you know them best. Let’s leave well enough alone then and head to bed. Maybe you two can skip school tomorrow and take some time to reflect on everything that’s happened,” Miranda said, rising from the chair she’d taken earlier.
“Oh sure, because that’s all we need is for Brynn’s parents to hate us all for being liberal lesbian supporters who encourage their daughter to skip school.” Nana never faltered in providing a witty comment. It helped, though. Goodness, did it help.
Cassidy kissed both her mom and grandmother goodnight and took Brynn upstairs to her bedroom. She loaned Brynn some pajamas and gave her a fresh towel, spare toothbrush, and all the hair products she could possibly need to feel at home. Twenty minutes later, they both lay freshly showered and tucked into Cassidy’s bed.
“I meant what I said earlier,” Brynn whispered. “About loving you and stuff.”
Cassidy leaned over, pressed a tender kiss to Brynn’s forehead, and said, “I know you did. So did I. Get some rest, Brynnie. Tomorrow’s another day, yeah?”
“Yeah, I guess it is,” Brynn said through a yawn as her eyelids fluttered closed.
Chapter 28
BRYNN woke up to the feel of a warm body at her back and arms wrapped around her. A gentle breath brushed against the nape of her neck. She almost didn’t want to open her eyes, but she could feel the sunlight begging to break through her closed lids.
A lot of the night before was a blur. Emotions had raged. Things happened quickly, a little too quickly. If she’d had any rational thought at all, she might’ve asked her father to reconsider kicking her out. She still had months of school left, and the idea of being a homeless teen freaked her out. She didn’t have a job or anything, no way to take care of herself. She’d even left her car at their house.
Thank God for Cassidy’s family.
The only bright note in this whole mess was being close to Cassidy. At least with Brynn’s father telling her to go, she got to spend the night in Cassidy’s arms. She really did love that girl, and the more her girlfriend stepped up to help her, the more Brynn felt that love.
“You awake?” she whispered. If Cassidy hadn’t woken up yet, Brynn didn’t want to be the one who interrupted her sleep. After all, Cassidy had had an equally rough night as well.
“Are we still in Kansas, Toto?”
Brynn laughed hard enough to jostle her shoulders. She rolled in Cassidy’s arms, and the tips of their noses brushed together. “You and your uncanny sense of humor,” she said before stealing a quick kiss. “Did Dorothy get a good night’s sleep?”
“Oh my gawd, I slept like a bear in hibernation,” Cassidy said on a yawn. “How about you? Did you manage to get any rest?”
“More than I’ve had in a while. It’s weird. I think that… stuff being out in the open lifted a
weight off my shoulders, and I really didn’t have anything left to worry about. Well, ’cept for Daddy.”
“I think you should feed your daddy to my Nana and let her handle it.”
“She’ll slaughter him.” Brynn half laughed. “Captain Daddy and Witchy Grandma… round one.”
“And our moms can exchange recipes and gardening tips in the meanwhile. How very suburban.”
There was a soft tapping at the door, and Brynn eased out of Cassidy’s arms, then sat up on the edge of the bed. Even though her girlfriend’s mom and Nana had been completely cool last night, there was no need to push boundaries. After all, Brynn was sort of at their mercy right now, what with needing a place to crash and all.
“Come in,” Cassidy called out from behind her, voice muffled by a pillow.
Nana poked her head in the door, long ringlets of salt and pepper curls falling down from the side of her smiling face. “You girls coherent yet?”
They both grumbled.
Nana laughed. “I had a thought. May I come in?”
“Sure, Nana,” Cassidy said.
The sweet older lady stepped all the way into the bedroom, then closed the door behind her. She sat down on the bed next to Brynn and laid her tender, slightly wrinkled hand on Brynn’s knee. “I want to take the two of you to the college today. There’s a youth group there that I think will help you both out.”
“Nana, I don’t need help,” Cassidy said with a groan.
“Well, maybe Brynn would like to talk to people who have been in her same situation. Don’t you want to go with her, be supportive of her?” Nana gave Brynn a wink.
“Well, when you put it that way….”
“I think that would be nice,” Brynn said.
Nana gently patted Brynn’s knee before standing from the bed. “Well, you two get ready, and we’ll head on out. Lunch is on me.”
“Thanks, Nana,” both girls said in unison.
The door closed, and Brynn looked back at Cassidy. She had already burrowed back down under the covers, head hidden by a pillow. Brynn stood up and as per her normal routine, started for the bathroom, but a thought stopped her. She turned back toward the bed. “Um, I don’t have a change of clothes….”
Cassidy peeked over the blanket, blue eyes shining in the sunlight streaming into the room. “No worries. You can just borrow something of mine. Rummage through my closet and see what you might wanna wear.”
“You sure?”
“Mhm,” Cassidy mumbled.
Brynn went over to Cassidy’s closet and stepped inside what could’ve easily been a small bedroom. She looked over the rainbow of colors Cassidy had hanging in the row of shirts and blouses. She immediately went to the darker colors, not that Cassidy had much to choose from in the way of emo trends. What she ended up choosing was so outside the spectrum of her norm, she couldn’t believe she’d chosen it for herself.
The shirt was a pale green, almost seafoam, and went well with her cotton-candy-pink hair. She grabbed a pair of faded jeans. “Cassidy, tell me if this is okay,” she called from the closet.
Cassidy finally stumbled out of bed, blonde hair a beautiful disaster around her angelic face. She padded to the closet, where a half smile pinched her cheeks. “I like that color on you. And you chose it all on your own without even looking at the black stuff!”
“Wait, there’s black stuff?” Brynn said teasingly as she turned back toward the rows and rows of name-brand clothes. Cassidy grabbed her arm, and when Brynn spun around to face her girlfriend again, Cassidy had the most gorgeous smile on her face.
In an airy rush, Brynn said, “I was only kidding.”
“So was I. There really isn’t any black stuff.” Cassidy laughed, pulling Brynn closer into her personal space.
Biting her bottom lip, Brynn looked down, instantly noticing the hint of cleavage just barely peeking up from Cassidy’s pink cami. With each breath Cassidy took, her breasts rose, then slowly lowered. It was like being hypnotized by one of those swinging-watch things. Brynn couldn’t look away.
“I… I…,” she stammered, all rational thought vanished.
Cassidy’s soft voice filled the quiet space of the closet as she teased. “You’re always looking at my boobs. I think it’s time you got a little more than just a view through a pajama shirt.”
Before Brynn could react, Cassidy stripped away the cami and stood unabashed before her, perky breasts exposed for Brynn’s eyes. She took a few steps closer, enticing Brynn even further.
Brynn was completely speechless, and her eyes were as wide as saucers. She wanted to touch Cassidy, wanted to know what that radiant, tanned flesh felt like against her palm, but God help her, she was terrified. She kept worrying her bottom lip as Cassidy stood there staring. Her heart fluttered, and her pulse started to race. Her hands were probably trembling, but she couldn’t really think about shaking fingers with the half-naked girl right in front of her.
“Cassidy, I—”
Her voice was instantly silenced the moment she felt Cassidy’s hands over hers, lifting her arms until her fingers found the soft, supple curves of Cassidy’s breasts. Brynn looked down at her cupped hands, then up at Cassidy’s serene, smiling face, then back down at her hands. She couldn’t believe this was happening, and someone kill her now if she ended up panicking over this.
“Don’t freak out, Brynnie. It’s natural. They’re just boobs.” Cassidy Rivers, ever the casual one. Brynn’s heart was in her throat, beating through her ears, and Cassidy was the textbook definition of calm, cool, and collected. “Let your body guide you. Touch ’em. Squish ’em. Kiss ’em. Do whatever you want to do.”
“I don’t know what to do,” Brynn said. “I… I….”
Don’t panic. Don’t panic.
“They’re pretty,” she nervously offered.
“So explore them. Explore me,” Cassidy said, still as calm as the moment she’d woken up. Her own hands cupped Brynn’s, fingers gently pushing her palms against Cassidy’s tender flesh.
Cassidy leaned in enough for their lips to touch, a teasing touch, nothing more than a gentle brush. Brynn closed her eyes and opened her mouth wider. She wanted a real kiss, a kiss like the boys and girls at school shared when no one was looking. And the moment she thought about Cassidy’s lips embracing hers, her girlfriend took over, and Brynn’s mouth belonged to her.
She was so lost in that deep, amazing kiss, she missed the moment Cassidy released her hands. She was oblivious to the fact her fingers were tenderly waving over the mounds of pliable flesh Brynn had always seen covered by frilly lace or soft fabric. In fact, she wasn’t aware of Cassidy’s hands until the moment she felt that warmth sliding up the back of her shirt.
The air from the vent above them brushed over Brynn’s exposed back. She broke the kiss to the sound of Cassidy whimpering. “Maybe we should get dressed before we get caught,” Brynn suggested, voice hoarse.
“Hmmm?” Cassidy’s eyes fluttered open as she withdrew her hands from Brynn’s body. “Oh yeah. Dressed. Caught. Right,” she breathed, much to Brynn’s amusement. It appeared that somewhere along the line, Miss Calm Cool and Collected had lost her bearings as well.
“Okay… so, uh, that outfit looks perfect. Erm, you need a bra, though,” Cassidy pointed out, gaze locked on Brynn’s chest for a moment before she blinked hard and spun around, disappearing from the closet. When she reemerged, there were two delicate, very expensive-looking bras in her hands. “I dunno what you prefer, so I brought you one of each. Padded or just underwire.”
“My boobs aren’t as big as yours, I promise. Maybe the padded one?”
A nod later, Cassidy handed over the pale pink, padded bra in her left hand. She stood there for a moment, a silent question filling her azure gaze before she asked, “You want me to turn around again or…?”
“Stay.”
“Pinky, I wasn’t planning on leaving. Just turning around in case you were still shy.”
“I just had my hands on your b
oobs. I think we’re past shy now….”
“Yeah, but those were my boobs.”
“Then how’s this?”
Oh God, what am I doing? Brynn thought as she slowly lifted her shirt over her head and let it drop to the floor. She didn’t have a body as utterly perfect as Cassidy’s. She didn’t have Cassidy’s charisma or confidence, and there she was pretending to be something she couldn’t pull off. She just couldn’t do sexy. It didn’t work for her.
This time around, it was Cassidy’s eyes that widened. Her girlfriend looked starstruck, as if she’d seen her favorite celebrity standing inside her closet. Her heart-shaped lips parted to reveal a pink tongue swiping across her lower lip. Just as her hands raised and she took a step forward, Nana’s voice stopped her.
“Are you two ready to go yet?” Cassidy’s grandmother called from just outside the bedroom door.
Cassidy rolled her eyes and huffed, undoubtedly in frustration. “Of course she interrupts when it’s my turn,” she grumbled.
Chapter 29
A MALE couple ambled past Cassidy, entering the classroom Nana had directed them to. Once she stepped inside, she looked around while Brynn reached out and held her hand. The room wasn’t anything like she’d been expecting. There were bright paintings on the walls and ceramic sculptures set up on shelves. Easels stood to one side, with a row of cans holding paintbrushes beside them. There were a few other same-sex couples—or what she guessed were couples—sitting across the space, a few per table.
Admittedly, this kind of thing made Cassidy nervous. Not because she felt uncomfortable with who she was, but she didn’t need the world staring at her as if she had some dirty little secret that was only to be revealed in the small confines of like-minded groups. Maybe that was Nana’s genes more than anything.
Nana led them to a rectangular table, empty save for three plastic, dark blue chairs. Brynn immediately sat down in the middle seat, leaving Cassidy and Nana to take up either side. A few other people came walking in, and with every person who sat down and looked over at her, Cassidy felt her unease grow a little more. She wanted to stand up and tell them there wasn’t anything wrong with them. She felt like she should explain that the world was cruel to everyone, not just same-sex couples. Then she realized she was eighteen years old and most of the people there were a bit older than her, so maybe she didn’t really have it all figured out just yet.