I shrugged. "Probably. Where are you going with this?"
He stared at my lips. "Let's go someplace private. In fact, let's skip class and go there now."
I took in a very deep breath and let it out slowly. "You're making it harder and harder to say no, but you know we have to go to class, and I'm giving blood during sixth period."
"You're giving blood?" He seemed so shocked.
"I do every year." I laughed. "Is that a problem?"
He shook his head. "No. You just—you surprised me. Most girls freak out about needles. It's usually just me and Sammy who do the blood drive."
It was my turn to be surprised. "You give blood?" His raised eyebrows made me continue. "It just seems so community service for you. I didn't know you were the civic duty type."
"My grandma's a nurse, sunshine. I know all about the necessity for blood donors. Besides, free HIV test."
"Oh." I hadn't thought about it that way. It was a good thing he was being tested, but hello, serious dose of reality.
He pulled me into an alcove and pressed his forehead to mine. "Sunshine, you know I was an idiot sophomore year. When I got Melissa pregnant, it shook me up enough to make me use a condom every time after that. I started getting tested every six months. I'm really careful now, so I just get tested every year. Does that scare you?"
I'd be lying if I said it didn't. I hadn't had to think about any of this before. "A little."
He wrapped his arms around me. "Ms. Abbott once told me, 'If you're not ready to talk about it, you're not ready to do it.'"
She'd said something similar to me, and I could see the wisdom in it. "It's just new, Brodie. It's good that you get tested and that you're careful, I've just—I've never had to think about it or talk about it before. I'm fine with talking about it—I agree it's important. It's just still new for me."
He studied me for a moment then smiled. "Fair enough. And we're not there yet anyway." He stared at my lips again and brushed his fingers through my hair. "Spend the night with me tonight."
"Haven't you had enough of me?"
So fast I hardly had time to take a breath, he pulled my hair to the side and devoured my neck. When his hands slid underneath my shirt, touching my stomach, I stepped away and shook my head.
He arched his sharp, sexy black eyebrow at me and stared at me through his long eyelashes. "Did that answer your question?" My nod seemed to be enough of an answer, but he moved forward, pinning me against the wall with his strong arms on either side of me. "Stay with me."
"I don't know."
He dropped his head to my shoulder dejectedly. "I have to work tonight, and I'm working a double tomorrow for Tony—his wife is due to go into labor any second." His lips left a trail of goose bumps as it moved from my collarbone up my neck. His eyes were piercing when they connected again with mine. "I won't see you until Sunday."
"Maybe I have plans on Sunday and can't see you then either."
"Don't tease me, sunshine," he warned. "Two whole days without touching you will make me a very desperate man."
"Oh, desperate? And what do desperate men do?"
He growled in my ear, and his fingers teased the skin just above my hips while his mouth caused intense chills to take over my entire body. When his long fingers dipped below the waistband of my jeans, I wasn't prepared for the hypersensitivity of my skin there and physically jumped in his arms. His low chuckle only made me melt into his arms more, and his fingers made it next to impossible for me to stand still as they dipped lower and moved farther in toward my belly button. My legs were Jell-o, and I had completely lost track of where we were. The death grip I had on his shoulders made my hands shake—hell, my whole body was shaking with how far down his fingers were dipping.
He stopped moving, and his kisses became light and soft, but my shaking didn't stop. I couldn't let go of him, or I knew I'd slide to the floor. He wrapped his arm around my waist, drawing me into his body.
"I gotcha, baby." The smug laughter in his voice made me want to kick him.
He knew exactly how I'd react to that little make-out session. But I had teased him. Maybe I'd deserved it. I'd have to be more careful—who was I kidding? I was dying to tease him again, but in a more private location.
"You drive me crazy—crazier than any girl I've ever met." He pulled back to look into my eyes. "How do you do that?"
I widened my eyes in surprise. "I have no idea."
His smile was so sexy and made my chest swell with excitement and happiness. "Spend the night with me."
"After that, I don't know if I can trust myself with you." I'd kept my voice light and teasing, but realistically speaking, I didn't know if I could say no to him.
"You're so inexperienced, sweetheart," he said softly and almost fondly. "I could have done that several times by now. I could do more, and I really doubt you'd stop me. But I'm actually trying to go slow here. So you don't have to trust yourself, trust me. I'll never push you faster than I think you're ready to go."
I was bugged by what he'd said. It sounded like he wasn't into this at all and was just going along to help me become more "experienced." "Well aren't you just saintly with your willpower? Is this getting to you at all?"
He shook his head at me with frustration as he moved his lips to my ear. "Damn it Risa, I'm ready to rip your clothes off right here in this hallway." He stepped even closer to me, pushing his lower body into mine, and I could feel the hardness there. "You feel that?" I was barely able to nod, but it must have been enough because he went on. "Yes, my willpower is damn saintly. I want you a hundred different ways, Risa. But I don't want you scared, and I don't want you to regret anything we do." The long sigh he breathed out tickled my ear. "Stop tormenting me, and say you'll stay the night." He let go of me and stood an arm's length away, waiting for my answer.
"Okay. I'll stay tomorrow night."
His shoulders relaxed, and he pulled me into a soft hug. The smile returned to his voice. "Now, about lunch—"
I laughed. "You have got to be the most persistent—"
He pressed his lips to mine, smiling. "Come on, you're gonna be late to class."
Another Chance
At lunch, Lara and Mace were deep in conversation about a movie they wanted to see. Brodie had my legs pulled over his lap as we sat on a bench at S'Wiches, the nearby sandwich place. His hands on my upper thighs kept me from fully focusing on what the girls were saying, but I caught bits and pieces.
Sammy shook his head at Lara. "I can't go with you two, I have to work."
The clear disappointment on Lara's face made our conversation at the pool come flooding back to my memory. She'd said I knew the guy she had it bad for. I hardly knew anyone, and the way she looked at Sammy told me it was definitely him. I sat up, grinning like a goofball and grabbed for Lara's arm. "I know!"
She stared at me for a full minute, and I could see her trying to figure out what I was talking about. When I shifted my eyes to Sammy and back to her, she turned beat red and threw her head down onto her arms which were folded on the table. I laughed, and Brodie smiled, watching me. I patted Lara's head in what I hoped was a comforting way.
"What do you know?" Brodie asked.
I smiled and shook my head at him. He ran his hands up my thighs to grip my hips and pulled me closer to him. "What do you know, sunshine?"
"Risa!" Lara's panicked voice cut through Brodie's spell.
I pushed at Brodie's chest. "I'm not gonna tell you her business."
He leaned back and stared at me, but I stared right back. I was seriously not going to tell him Lara's secret. Unfortunately, he was damn smart. He looked to Lara then to Sammy who was sitting next to her but talking to Mace. He stared harder at Lara and lifted his eyebrows. She hid her face again, and he smiled, shaking his head.
"All these years," he mumbled.
"Nooo!" Lara cried out.
Brodie moved my legs to the floor and leaned over to kiss me gently. "Be right back, beautiful. Lara and I need to talk."
>
I grabbed his arm and pulled him back to me, whispering in his ear. "You're not gonna hurt her are you?"
He cupped my cheek and rubbed his thumb along my cheekbone. "No, baby, trust me."
I nodded, and he turned to reach his hand out to Lara. She took it, but kept her eyes down with a pitiful look on her face.
Mace moved down to sit in front of me. "Come with us Saturday to the movie then you can spend the night at my house with Lara. We're going to the last showing, so we'll be even more scareder."
Her constant enthusiasm for everything made me smile. "I can't spend the night with you, but I'll come with you and stay until Brodie gets off work. I don't know what time that usually is, though."
Sammy leaned over. "This Saturday? Max will have him there late. They're doing inventory. Max hates inventory. He'll keep 'em there all night just to get it done in one shot."
"Good," Mace decided. "You can stay with us until he's done, and you can both spend the night."
Sammy laughed and shook his head. "Mace, honey, Brodie's not gonna go for that. He'll want Risa all to himself."
I folded my arms on the table and laughed. "What Brodie wants, Brodie doesn't always get."
Sammy shot me an amused smile. "You don't know Brodie."
I shrugged. So maybe I didn't know him as well as Sammy did, but I knew me. "Well, I'm spending the night with the girls. If he wants to be with me, he'll share me with them."
"Ah," he sighed. "I do love when someone gives Brodie shit. This'll be fun."
A few minutes later, Brodie came back in and took his seat next to me, putting his arm around my shoulders. Lara slowly followed him with an uncomfortable look on her face. She didn't look happy or sad or mad. She looked a little shocked.
I glared at Brodie and pulled his head toward me. "What did you say to her?"
He shook his head and mouthed the word, "Later" before Sammy pulled his attention from me.
"Risa there wants to tell you her plans for Saturday night, right Risa?"
I rolled my eyes. "Seriously Sammy?" But then I shrugged and turned to Brodie. "I'm going to a movie with the girls then we'll crash at Mace's and you can come over and join us."
Brodie's face got very serious. "That wasn't our deal."
Sammy smiled knowingly, and I glared at him before whispering to Brodie. "Plans change. I wanna spend some time with Mace and Lara, and I wanna spend time with you. What's the big deal?"
He pulled my legs over his lap again and moved closer to me. His fingers gripped my hip and made me suck in a quick breath. "I need to be alone with you, baby. I need my hands all over you. You want that in front of a bunch of people?"
I slapped his hands away from me. "You have your hands all over me now, what's the difference?" His raised eyebrow made me backtrack. "Okay, I know the difference." I finally opted for sad honesty, but I couldn't look him in the eye while sounding so pathetic. "It's nice to have friends to hang out with, Brodie. I haven't had that. Can't we just—"
His arms wrapped around me. "Okay, sunshine. I get it. But I get Sunday night too then."
I rested my head on his shoulder and enjoyed his arms around me. "I guess I can deal with that."
When he sat back up, I stuck my tongue out at Sammy and turned to Mace. "We'll spend the night tomorrow."
She clapped her hands together excitedly. Sammy looked from me to Brodie and back again. "What? No. You let her get her way?"
Brodie shrugged. "She's persuasive."
Sammy folded his arms across his chest and stared at Brodie. He had that same expression Brodie sometimes got like he was trying to solve a puzzle.
The blood drive was no big deal. I'd done it every year at Los Gatos. Brodie and Sammy were impressed that I'd gone through with it. Apparently, I was the only girl in our group not petrified of needles and blood. We sat together at a small table with our cookies in hand. Brodie kicked his chair closer to mine and sat down, stretching his legs straight out in front of him and his arm across the back of my chair.
Sammy rubbed his upper arm. "Did you do that flu shot they offered? Hurt like hell."
I leaned forward. "Did you even read the release? That was for the Setenid Blight." His clueless expression surprised me. "It's been all over the news. The infection that just hit Flagstaff and Prescott—it's a really ugly flu." I turned to Brodie. "You've heard about it right?"
Brodie drew circles on my neck with his fingers and nodded seriously at Sammy. "I've read about it. Sounds worse than a flu, though. At least they have a vaccine for it. Baby, you got the shot too, right?"
I nodded and stared at my arm. "Hurts a lot more than a flu shot. I asked the nurse though, and she said the only side effects are irritability and flu-like symptoms for a few days. I hope not everyone gets sick. I hate being sick."
"I didn't sign on for that," Sammy protested as he tipped his chair back on two legs.
Brodie shoved at his chair, making Sammy grab for the table. "Yeah you did, idiot. It was in the release."
"Oh, right." He looked around. "You think they'll give everyone the shot? What about the people who couldn't give blood? You think they'll give the shots again?"
I thought about that. If they were hoping to lessen the severity of the outbreak, they'd surely give the vaccine to everyone. I was about to mention that to Sammy when Brodie pinched my neck lightly and winked at me.
"You worryin' about someone in particular there Sammy?" The smug laughter in his voice clued me in to where he was going with this. "Someone we've both known a long time."
Sammy glared at Brodie. "Shut up." He stared at the table for a minute before he leaned forward and smirked at Brodie. "Unless you wanna talk about what's really goin' on between you two." He pointed between Brodie and me.
What did he mean by that? We were going out. There wasn't more to it than that. Brodie stared him down, his index finger extended up his cheek, and his chin rested on his thumb. "Alright. I'll let it go for now."
Sammy nodded once, and we sat quietly until the bell rang to dismiss us for the day.
On Saturday, I packed my little bag and made sure Dad had Mace's address. I thought I had my bases covered with him when he suddenly decided to start asking questions.
"And whose house is this?"
I did a double-take at his question. Luckily, I had no reason to be dishonest. "Mace, uh, I'm not sure what her last name is. I think I have her as a friend online if you really need it."
"Mace?" he asked skeptically.
I tried to appease his curiosity. "Well her real name is Mason, but we all call her Mace."
"Who is 'we all?'"
Okay, now I knew something was up. He hadn't been the least bit interested in my social life, but suddenly he wanted details. Did someone call him from the school? Did Ms. Abbott tell him about Brodie? "They're my group of friends. Why do you ask?"
He stared down at the piece of paper I'd written Mace's address on. "You're—well you're getting older, Risa. I'm worried—I want to know what's going on in your life."
Urgh. I didn't need to be worried about. "You don't have to worry about me. I'm fine."
"No, I—that's not what I meant." He sounded so sad, and I felt a tiny bit bad for him. "When you were little, you'd tell me everything."
When I was little, he cared about hearing it. He hadn't been interested in ten years. "That was a long time ago. Things change." I was hoping that would be the end of this ridiculous conversation and headed for the door when he touched my arm.
He stared at my arm for a few minutes before pulling himself upright and looking me in the eye. "Well they can change back. I need to know what's going on in your life."
Oh, he needed to know. He suddenly decided he needed to be in my life. Well tough effing luck. You don't just wake up one day and decide it's time you were a parent. It didn't work that way. I stared at him and got more and more angry. He did this, not me. He dictated what our relationship had become and now he was trying to dictate some sort of
closeness between us—a little father daughter bonding. Well life didn't work that way.
"Look Dad, I appreciate you taking me in. And it's nice that you want to chat, but after being ignored for ten years, it's a little tough to go back and be how I was when I was seven. I grew up, and you didn't care to see it. You can't go back and make all that better."
He looked me in the eye, and his blue eyes were as firm as mine were when I was determined about something. "Risa, your mother kept me out of your life. I didn't ignore you."
Yeah, sure. "Okay, look, I have to go—"
"Risa, I've never lied to you, and I'm not lying now. Your mother didn't want me in your life so she went out of her way to make sure I didn't get to see you."
What? What was he talking about? How could she keep him out of my life? I shook my head with confusion.
He looked up at me earnestly. "Whenever I said I'd stop by to visit you, she made sure you were at a birthday party or a friend's house. I sent cards and gifts every birthday, Valentine's Day, Christmas, just whenever."
I'd never gotten any cards or gifts from him. I'd never seen him.
He put up his hands. "No, I know you never got them, or you never knew they were from me. That music box with the little ballerina—the one up in your room right now—I gave you that for your tenth birthday. I know she told you something else."
"What? How—do you—know?" This didn't make any sense. I couldn't make it make sense in my head.
"About seven years ago, I confronted her, and she told me she'd kept everything from you. She laughed at how she felt she had gotten revenge against me. By then, it was too late. The damage had been done, and I'd lost you. It's my fault. I should have fought harder. I should have picked you up and brought you here with me, but I thought you were getting a better education. I thought she could care for you better."
He tried to see me? He sent me cards? She lied to me? I sat down heavily on the couch. Was he lying about this? Or was she? Would she have really done that? But I didn't need to think about that for long. She manipulated me, made me think she loved me, and turned her back on me. Maybe my whole life with her had been one lie after another to get what she wanted. Did she ever even love me? I mean, could you love someone for seventeen years and just stop?
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