"What's going on? Is this about what Charlie was saying? He was drunk, Risa. He didn't know what he was saying."
So he thought it was all made up. Well it was better than thinking it was all true. But what would he do when he found out it had actually happened? He'd walk away from me. He'd hate me. I stuck my chin up farther. I don't care, I told myself. He'd been there with another girl. He didn't love me, probably wasn't even capable of it. Better to push him away now.
Dad helped me get to the front porch, but I stopped him from helping me inside. "Can you get my crutches?" He nodded and went inside. I turned to Brodie and looked him dead in the eye. "I appreciate your concern, but I'm really just fine. Why don't you go back to the party and be with the girl you were hanging on in the living room?"
His eyes bulged, and he shook his head. "No. That's not what it—"
"Spare me the details. You made it clear you're not the boyfriend type. I've got no claims on you."
He stepped closer to me. "Risa, this is stupid." He tried to pull me into his arms. "You know I care about you, and I know you care about me, sunshine."
I shoved at him. "Get off me!"
"Damn it, Risa. Can't you just trust me? Why can't you just let me in? I know something happened to you, but shit, I'm trying here. Just fucking trust me, and tell me what's going on."
"You really want to know? You've just gotta know it all?" I glared at him as he nodded, looking like he thought it was the obvious choice. "Well guess what, Charlie was telling the truth." I watched his eyes narrow like he was trying to figure it out. "My stepdad had been drinking. He came up to my room and grabbed me. He hit me—several times and ripped my pajamas off my body. I fought him, but he was so big. Then he threw me on my bed. Is that what you want to hear, Brodie? Does that make you happy?"
His jaw was clenched and his chest rose and fell rapidly. His eyes were cold and angry, but I couldn't seem to stop talking.
"Should I go on? You want me to let you in and tell you everything? Should I tell you about his darling daughter who walked in on him trying to rip off my underwear? Should I tell you how he told her to close the door, and she did as I screamed for her to help me? Or how my mom came home and precious Kelsea came running in again to warn him then told my mom about how she walked in on me standing completely naked in front of him trying to get him to touch me? And she—she—"
I was sobbing again, but I couldn't stop shouting at him. "She—her only words to me were 'Get the fuck out of my house.' And Kelsea told everyone I fucked my stepdad. Is that—is that what you wanted to know? And now—and now you know Charlie was right. Pat him on the back, he found out my story for you. And—and knowing what I was into, he—he was more than happy to—to—"
"Risa." Dad's voice directly behind me made me finally realize everything I'd just said. My eyes were painfully wide—I'd never told anyone all the details before. My strength was totally gone, and I was so relieved when Dad pulled me into his arms and helped me inside.
Brodie didn't follow. He didn't say anything. He was probably ashamed of me and ashamed he'd ever kissed me. Dad helped me to the couch, propped my knee up and brought me a cold washcloth. When I'd calmed down enough to close my eyes, I whispered, "I'm so embarrassed. You probably—"
"Love you more than anything, Risa." He kissed my forehead. "It makes me want to beat the shit out of that bastard again, but you—I just want to keep you safe for the rest of your life. You did nothing wrong, honey. Nothing. Now stay here. I need to go back outside and talk to your guy."
"I'm sure he took off the first chance he had," I whispered.
"No, Risa. He's still here. Just stay here and rest and listen, honey. Just listen this time."
I lifted my head and watched him open the window before going outside. I wasn't sure how much more I could take. I let my head fall back on the pillow and closed my eyes.
"No," Dad's voice came in through the window. "Just stay there. I need to sit down after that, too." It was quiet for several minutes. "Who was the girl?"
I wanted to get up and go to my room or shut the window. I did not want to hear this.
"Meaghan." Brodie said slowly. Toothbrush Meaghan? Meaghan who spent the night? That made it so much better. "She lives across the street—always has. She's only thirteen. When I saw her at that party, I thought she was making my mistakes. She's like a little sister, and I thought—well I tried to get through to her. I don't know if it helped."
They seemed pretty intimate with him leaning all over her. I wanted to believe him, but obviously I had some trust issues.
"I wasn't even supposed to be at that party," Brodie continued. "But I was covering this guy's shift at work—his wife was supposed to be in labor—turns out it was a false alarm. So, he came in, and we got our inventory done. I was just killin' a few hours until Risa got out of the movie. I didn't know she was there, or I would've introduced her to Meaghan. When I saw Charlie's hands all over her—"
"You want some ice for those knuckles?" Dad asked gently.
Knuckles? Did he fight Charlie?
Brodie sounded so tired. "Doesn't hurt much after hearing that. But you can give me her stepdad's name or an address. If you don't, I'll just find it on my own."
"Yeah, I saw your face and figured you were that type. It's hard for me to say no to you with that one. Truth is, I beat the shit out of the son of a bitch, and after hearing exactly what happened, I'm ready to get in the car and go do it again. He has a restraining order against me though, and he's had me in and out of the police station with possible assault charges. Made me miss taking Risa to get her brace off—really pissed me off. I got 39 years of spotless record on my side, son. You're young. They'd throw you in jail and not think twice. So I know how you feel, but it wouldn't help Risa any for you to get yourself in trouble."
"At least tell me you did some permanent damage."
Dad chuckled. "You and I will get along just fine." They were quiet again then Dad spoke firmly. "Two cracked teeth, a broken jaw, two cracked ribs; he broke his wrist trying to fight back, which is when I kneed him in the nuts repeatedly. A sprained ankle when I kicked him there and a concussion. He's lucky I didn't have my gun on me or I'd have shot his dick right off."
I just shook my head. He really did all that? For me? I really thought he didn't care.
"Did she press charges against him?"
"I never asked her to," Dad said sadly. "She wouldn't talk. After the cops showed up and pulled me off the asshole, they let me go out to find her. She was seven miles from her house. Ran seven miles and she tore up her knee pretty good. I took her to the hospital, which is when she started getting texts from her so-called friends calling her—well you can imagine."
"Shit," Brodie said loudly, sounding disgusted. "I can't believe they just believed the little bitch."
"I thought she was going to a good school." Dad sounded disbelieving. "I thought she was making friends with the right kind of kids. They all turned on her, even her own damn mother. So at that party, when that bastard had his hands all over her—and you better believe I'm getting that name from you—"
"I took care of that already," Brodie interrupted gruffly. "But hey, I'd be happy to go another round on him. I never liked the ass."
"Just don't get yourself in trouble. Like I said, she doesn't need that."
"Well," Brodie sounded so dejected. "She doesn't seem too interested in seeing me anyway."
"She thought you were with that other girl, and she thinks you and all her friends believed that bastard."
"That's just—No. No way." He actually sounded angry over the fact that I thought they believed Charlie. Given the history Dad had so clearly laid out for him, was it really such a stretch to think the people I'd known a few weeks would turn on me the way those I'd known my whole life did? "They all thought he was completely drunk and making shit up. No one had any idea there was any truth behind it. They stopped to listen to him because Lara yelled so loud for him to get off R
isa, that's all. And—" Brodie groaned. "I'll be honest with you. There are a lot of girls who seem to want my attention, and I've lived it up for a few years, but for some reason—Risa's just—being around her is—I'm hooked on her. I don't know how to say that the way I should, but I don't care about the rest of 'em. I just wanna be with her."
"I was hoping you'd say that. She'll probably kill me, but come on in and convince her of that."
What? No! I got up and hobbled toward the stairs as fast as I could. I wasn't ready to see him. I had to think it all through, and I was just so tired. I made it to the third step when strong arms picked me up and carried me up the rest of the stairs. I was going to fight him, push him away again, but I was so tired, and I needed him to just hold me. I couldn't fight anymore.
We got to my room, and he closed the door behind us before continuing to the bed. Still in his arms, he sat down and held me tighter than he ever had. "Fight all you want, sunshine. I can't let go of you. I need you in my arms, Risa. You don't know how much I need you."
I didn't say anything. I was just too tired to respond in any way other than tucking my head underneath his chin and closing my eyes.
***
Movement around me pulled me from my sleep, but I couldn't open my sore, sandy eyes. I felt around the bed, but Brodie wasn't there.
"She asleep?" Dad's voice barely floated in from the hallway.
"Yeah." After everything that had happened, Brodie's voice still calmed me down, made me feel safe. "I, uh, you probably won't go for this, but I need to—I just can't—leave her tonight."
I had no idea what Dad would say to that. I had a feeling the answer would be no, but he'd surprised me so much that I couldn't trust what I thought I knew about him.
"It seems you've been fairly honest so far. Let's see if you can keep going with that, and then we'll talk about tonight. Okay?" Silence followed, and I worried what he'd meant by that. "Are you the green townhouse on Lexington?"
Oh God. How did he guess that was Brodie? That meant he knew we spent the night together.
"Yes, sir, I am." Brodie sounded almost arrogantly proud of it.
"I thought so. And are you having sex with my daughter?" I winced at the tension in Dad's voice and wondered how angry he looked.
"No."
"No?" Dad didn't sound like he believed him.
"No, sir. She's—I don't know where the line is on what she wants you to know and what she'll hate me for saying, but she's a—well, she's a virgin."
I almost laughed at how stunned Dad sounded. "Really?"
"When I first met her, she really hadn't even kissed a guy. She said her mom sheltered her."
"Ohhhhh," Dad breathed as if everything made sense to him now. "Yeah, I hadn't thought about that. Her mom was always afraid Risa would wind up pregnant at eighteen like she was. And I don't think she could stand the thought that Risa might get more male attention than she was. So she's just slept at your house, nothing more?"
Seriously? Did he need to know every detail about my love life? How embarrassing.
Brodie sounded so uncomfortable. "Can't say I've ever had this conversation before. But you really want honesty, so she's—well, she's one hell of a kisser now, but first base only—sir."
It was quiet for a few minutes before Dad said, "Okay. I want her under my roof tonight, so you can go get some things and come back to stay with her. No bases, not even a pitch in my house, is that understood?"
The laughter in Brodie's voice allowed me to relax. "Very clear, sir."
"And call me Scott," Dad said resignedly. "Cuz you damn well better be sticking around."
"I plan on it." The firmness to Brodie's response went a long way to repair the wound in my chest, and I smiled into my pillow until I fell back asleep.
Get the Things You Want
"Sunshine." Brodie's breath tickled my ear. "Baby, you can't be comfortable in those jeans. Let me help you change."
My eyes flew open as he touched the button on my jeans. I sat up, trying to blink my eyes awake. "I—I can change." But the room spun from sitting up too quickly and from the headache I had from crying too much.
"Lie back down, and tell me why you don't want me to help you."
I shook my head. "I'm fine. I can do it myself."
He groaned. "I hate it when you say that. We get nowhere when you say that. I wanna understand you, but I can't unless you explain things to me, Risa. Now, come on. Why won't you let me help you?"
I kept my eyes closed. "I'm not comfortable with you seeing my legs."
He leaned close to me and dropped his voice to that sexy smoothness I usually liked. "I'm not too comfortable seeing them either, baby. You in that bathing suit took me from 0 to 60 faster than anything has in a long time."
I sat up again. "See? That's why?"
He stared at me for several seconds. "Your half-naked body turns me on and that's why I can't see your legs?" He shook his head in confusion, and I covered my face, falling back to the pillow. "No, but I'm close. Your half-naked body… would definitely turn any guy on… and that's why you can't show your legs. I'm right, aren't I? And your stepdad told you this, didn't he?" He rubbed my back, and I just wanted to go back to sleep. "No. Your stepdad wanted to see your legs. Your mother told you this because she was jealous. The pervert wanted you more than her. Risa?"
I shook my head and buried my face in the pillow. It was so embarrassing to talk about all of it with him, and reliving it didn't feel too comfortable either.
"Risa? You're not making any sense, baby. I can see why you always wear jeans in public, but Risa—" He struggled with me until I turned over, and he pinned my upper body to the bed with his own. "I'm not just some guy, am I? You like when I kiss you, don't you? When I can't keep my hands off you? You like that I want you, don't you?"
I smiled shyly. He had a point. I debated between a sarcastic comeback and honesty. He knew so much about me, and he was still here, still trying to understand me. "I don't want you to… think I'm a slut."
He laughed softly and tucked my hair behind my ear. "I'll think you're sexy as hell and be staring at those long legs every chance I get, but if I think what you're wearing is showing too much, I'll take it off you myself—preferably with my teeth."
The way he talked to me made my insides coil with tense excitement. But it was good. I bit my bottom lip and wondered if I'd ever get used to the way he talked to me and wanted me. "I'll work on being okay with it."
"Good, now lemme take these off you."
His hands went to my jeans, but I shoved him away. "I really can change my own clothes. I'm not an invalid." I tried to put a laugh at the end of my statement, but it didn't make me sound any less nervous.
"Okay, sunshine." He climbed up on the bed, and I realized he was already wearing shorts and a different T-shirt than the one he had on earlier. He must have changed when he'd gone home. My eyes fell on his bruised knuckles.
"Are you okay?" I pointed to his hands.
He looked down at his knuckles, flexing them slowly. "It's fine. I've had worse. Charlie might not have trouble putting his hands all over you, but he barely touched me, and I knocked him out too damn fast."
That didn't make any sense. "If you knocked him out fast, how did your knuckles get that bad?"
"I said I knocked him out fast, I didn't say I stopped there." The corners of his mouth turned up into my favorite lopsided grin. "I wanted to leave him with a few souvenirs of this experience."
I didn't like the sound of that, but part of me was a little flattered that he stood up for me. "But he's your friend, isn't he? I mean, he hangs out with you. Didn't Jose or anyone try to stop you as you wailed on him?"
"Hell no. They're loyal to me. If I say I'm gonna kick some guy's ass, their only response is, 'You want help?' And I don't know how they do it in Los Gatos, but my crew knows 'no' means fucking no. He won't be anywhere near me or you if he knows what's good for him."
I walked to my dresser and leane
d against it in defeat as I realized Charlie would spread the rumor around that I'd slept with my stepdad. "He'll tell everyone, won't he?"
"No, no, no. Don't worry about that. He'll keep his damn mouth shut, or I'll make it so that he can't open his mouth wide enough to speak."
I shook my head. "Brodie you can't—"
"Yes, I can. But you shouldn't worry about any of it. He's an asshole, but he's chicken shit. He won't run the risk of pissing me off again. I made it very clear that I could do worse—a lot worse."
I went to my dresser and pulled out a soft gray tank top and a pair of navy blue and green pajama bottoms.
"Risa."
His disappointment made me turn to him with my hands on my hips. "I don't own any shorts, Brodie."
His brow furrowed. "About that, you have the emptiest closet I've ever seen for a girl. What's up with that?"
Immediately, I shot back, "And of course, you've seen a lot of girls' closets, haven't you?"
He got up and walked toward me. "I swear you should teach a class on evasiveness." His hands touched my upper arms, and I winced as he connected with the injection location from earlier in the day. "Sorry," he said, brushing his lips lightly against my skin. He stared down at me, the green flakes in his eyes sparkling. "I know I'm not gonna like this answer, but why is it that hardly anything in here is yours?"
I lifted my shoulders gently. "I don't need much."
"Risa," he warned. "You've bottled all this shit up for months. Can't you talk about it? Even with me?"
I let my shoulders slump. I didn't want to talk about it with anyone, but knowing he knew about Bill and what he tried to do—well, in a weird way, I did feel a little better. "When, you know—well, my dad went to get my things. They, uh, my mom only let him take what wasn't valuable. I guess that included clothes."
His eyes narrowed. "She's a real piece of work, isn't she?" He dropped his hands loudly against his thighs. "I'm taking you shopping tomorrow."
He was sweet, but I was not in the shopping mood. "I don't need you to take me shopping, Brodie. My dad gave me a credit card to buy whatever I want. I just—I have what I need."
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