Spirit

by Shauna Granger

“All right, so if I want to turn the TV off, then I need to draw the power out of it,” I mumbled, studying the flat black box as if it was some sort of portal into another world. “Sort of like pulling energy up from the ground, I guess.”

  I reached out my hand again, holding it as close to the back of the television as I could without going through it. I closed my eyes to concentrate and imagined that I was trying to call up the Earth energy like I did in life. I imagined the power washing up through my body, filling me, making my body shake.

  “What the hell?” I heard Anthony say, breaking my concentration. I opened my eyes, and the room was pitch black. “Are you on the remote?”

  “No,” Steven said.

  “Yes!” I jumped in my excitement, but as soon as I pulled my hand away, the screen flashed back to life, lighting the room again.

  “Oh, there it goes,” Anthony said, his voice sounding like a question. He hesitated for a moment before leaning back into the cushions of the couch, but Steven remained where he was, leaning forward and staring at the television with a furrowed brow.

  “Hey,” Anthony said, his hand on Steven’s shoulder, “it’s okay, sit back.”

  “Hmm? Oh.” Steven blinked, his face clearing. “Yeah, right.” He leaned back next to Anthony, making him slump sideways into him.

  “Seriously?” I demanded, glaring at the screen, watching as Princess Buttercup jumped out of the window and landed in Fezzik’s arms. “Two seconds? Really?” I blew out a breath, telling myself to calm down, remembering Ashriel’s warning about losing control of my emotions. Once I was calm again, I set my hand close to the television again and concentrated on taking its power. This time I tried to focus on directing that power, using it to my advantage. I wanted Steven to see me, to know it was me in the room with them.

  I could feel the heat of the television now. It was the first bit of heat I had felt since the night in the fire and it was amazing. I imagined my body coming into focus and when I heard Anthony curse again, I knew the television was off. I was so excited to have Steven see me. I opened my eyes, feeling the grin spreading wide on my face, only to have my shoulders slump forward.

  “I am an idiot,” I said, realizing with the television off, the entire apartment was in the dark since they had turned off all of the lights. Of course Steven couldn’t see me.

  “Just go turn on a light and let’s see what’s wrong with it,” Steven’s voice said in the dark. I heard Anthony grumbling as he pushed off of the couch and then swore when he stubbed his toe on the coffee table. I waited, keeping my hand on the television, still feeling the heat of it seeping into my arm. The longer I stood there, pulling on its power, I started to feel the television itself, the hard plastic of it, under my hand. I pushed against it and felt it move.

  A rush of excitement flooded through me and I pushed again, turning the flat screen until I knew it was no longer facing the couch. When Anthony finally found the light switch and flicked it on, Steven yelped in surprise, startling me so much that I snatched my hand back from the television and the screen came back to life just as the screen faded on the sight of Westley and Buttercup kissing and the credits of the movie started to roll.

  “Dios mío,” Anthony whispered and then crossed himself.

  “All right, Steven,” I said, “time to figure it out.”

  “Anthony,” Steven said, holding his hand out for him, but Anthony remained rooted to the spot.

  “No fucking way, you get up and get over here,” Anthony said, his brown eyes wide as saucers staring at the television.

  “Oh come on, Steven!” I said, stamping my foot on the carpet. “You have dealt with way scarier shit than this!”

  “I hate you right now,” Steven said as he inched toward the far end of the couch before vaulting off of it and rushing to Anthony’s side. They intertwined their fingers, gripping hard enough to make their knuckles run red and white.

  “Whoever, or whatever, is doing that,” Steven said, his voice loud and ringing through the room, “you are not welcome here! We mean you no harm, but be gone from this space.”

  I rolled my eyes, but then felt a pull just behind my belly button and an inexplicable desire to leave. Remaining where I was took what little energy I had taken from the television. My head spun for a moment, and that glorious heat I had felt faded away as quickly as a wave washing away from shore.

  “Damn it, Steven!” I stomped my foot again, balling my hands into fists at my side.

  “Did you hear that?” Anthony whispered. He’d ducked half his body behind Steven’s, as if using him as a shield.

  “What did you hear?”

  “Your name.”

  “Shut up!” Steven said, his voice high and squeaky, as he stepped back, forcing Anthony against the wall behind them.

  “Seriously, Steven?” I said. “Anthony can hear me, but you can’t?”

  They stood, staring in my general direction, their faces twin masks of fear and curiosity. I hadn’t meant to scare them; it hadn’t even occurred to me that might happen. Steven hadn’t freaked out over the flickering lamp in my room, though I supposed watching a heavy television move on its own was a little more startling than a light flickering on a desk.

  “Do you think it worked?” Anthony breathed, as if he was afraid of being heard over the sound of the DVD’s menu screen.

  “What?” Steven finally remembered to blink. His voice was hardly more than a whisper as well.

  “You told it to leave; maybe it left?”

  “Oh, right,” Steven bobbed his head, “maybe it did.” He stood up a little taller and pulled away from Anthony a few inches, lifting his chin in the air. I felt bad knowing his power of persuasion hadn’t banished me, but I needed his help.

  “All right, Steven.” I moved away from the television and walked over to them. I twitched my nose, trying to think of what to do. Taking power from electronics worked, but it took longer than I wanted it to. I lifted my hand and reached out to touch Steven, my hand going right through his arm.

  “Sunnova…” Steven’s curse was cut short by the shiver that ran through his body.

  “What? What is it?” Anthony sounded frantic.

  “Look!” Steven held out his forearm to show him the goose bumps.

  “What is it?”

  “Something cold just touched me.”

  “Not. Funny. Steven,” Anthony said, but he took another step to the side, hiding fully behind Steven.

  “Steven,” I said, trying to put some force into my voice, hoping he’d hear it this time.

  Steven moved away from Anthony’s gripping fingers. “Okay, I’m gonna try a trick Shayna taught me.” He walked over to the front door and unlocked it. I looked around frantically for something to keep me anchored, but before I could find anything, he had the door open, and he turned to face the room. In a clear, demanding voice, he said, “You are not welcome in this space. I command you to leave! Now!”

  “Oh crap,” I said as a force seemed to hook my body and pull me toward the open door. “Steven Ignacio Nolan, I am gonna kick your ass for this!” I yelled as I flew through the air.

  With my words trailing behind me, I spun out the door in a confused bundle of limbs, and Steven slammed the door shut behind me. Before I could get my bearings, I felt the ground drop out from under me, and I was suddenly falling, tumbling end over end, faster and faster with no end in sight. For a moment I was back on that hillside, falling until I hit the ground, dislocating my shoulder.

  Air rushed around me, whipping my face and howling in my ears like a wounded pack of wolves. I felt sharp and pointy branches scratch my skin and stab at my arms as I fell. The nettles and leaves caught on my clothes, tearing holes in the fabric. I didn’t have time to marvel at these familiar and nearly forgotten feelings before I hit the ground hard enough to steal the breath from my lungs and crack a rib. Pain blossomed, full and angry, throughout my body. I remained on my back, staring up through the tree branches at a starless nig
ht sky, reveling in the feeling. This was as close to feeling alive as I had felt since before walking out of the rubble that fateful night. I felt two angry, sore spots on either side of my spine where my wings once appeared.

  Tears leaked out of the corners of my eyes, trickling down the sides of my face and disappearing into my hair. The tears stung and made me sniffle. A choked laugh burst out of me when I realized I could feel the Earth, dry and dusty, under my fingers. I clawed at it instinctively, wanting to give myself over to it and sink, but there was no swirling feeling of power inside of me, and the ground didn’t tremble under my command. But it was still the most amazing feeling having dirt under my fingernails.

  Slowly, I pushed myself up to sit, holding my ribs with my left hand, feeling the slow burn of the injury that made me take shallow breaths. I took in my surroundings. I was in a forest, seemingly in the middle of winter based on the lack of foliage and animal noises. The moon was small in the sky, making the shadows of the trees short and narrow. But no stars were in the sky above me, even though there was no other light to leach them out of the sky. The lack of stars convinced me I wasn’t in my version of heaven. I could imagine a forest at night being my place of ultimate rest, but my heaven would have millions and millions of stars, not some dark, empty sky.

  But if I wasn’t in heaven and I wasn’t outside of Anthony’s apartment building, then where was I?

  Carefully, I got to my feet and walked over to a group of trees casting a thicker, single shadow. Standing in the shadow, I closed my eyes and concentrated on pulling it around me with Anthony’s apartment in mind as my destination. Nothing happened; the shadows did not take me.

  Maybe because Steven banished me, I thought, careful not to speak since I didn’t know what was around me in the dark. I closed my eyes again and concentrated on my own house, knowing full well that I was welcome to come and go there. The shadows remained unmoved. I tried thinking of Jodi’s house, of Steven’s house, of The Oak, Ash and Thorn, of my high school, anywhere in town I was familiar with, and still nothing. The shadows here would not move me. I was no longer in Steven and Jodi’s reality.

  “Which is probably why I can feel,” I whispered. I was definitely not in any kind of heaven if I could feel pain, and I wasn’t on Earth if I could feel anything at all. It didn’t seem like the Underworld, or Hell, since I imagined that would be quite crowded with demons, damned souls, and the like.

  “Oh, please,” I moaned, dropping my head and bracing myself against a tree that had been stripped of bark. “Please, please tell me I’m not in Purgatory.”

  My knees went liquid, and I slid down the trunk of the tree until I landed on my butt, my knees bent, and dropped my head to rest my forehead there. The tears that had sprung to my eyes in joy came now in a chest-constricting intensity. My throat swelled and my nose ran as the pain lanced through my lungs. My cracked rib protested at being stretched with each wracking sob and my back ached. I realized I could feel the wounds of my wings being ripped away because here I wasn’t just some wandering, lost wraith; here I was a fallen angel, cast out of Paradise.

  “Damn it, Steven,” I cursed through gritted teeth, giving voice to my anger. I hoped some vocal release would lessen my sobs. The pain I had enjoyed moments ago was becoming too much to handle.

  “How could you banish me? After everything you said to Jodi about wanting to find me, and now you banished me?” I was yelling by the end. The sobbing had stopped, and now my tears were angry drops eking out of my eyes slowly rather torrentially. I balled my hands into fists and pounded them against the ground. Dust puffed up in gray clouds, making me cough and no longer seeming magical and wonderful.

  Unable to help myself, I screamed loud and long, until my throat felt raw. When I stopped, I was out of breath and my ribs felt as though they were on fire, but at least I had stopped crying. I took slow, steady breaths to calm down. In the distance, I heard something echoing my screams. I had a moment of panic and looked right and left, but the monstrous cries stopped. I held my breath to listen, not even daring to move. In the sudden quiet, the snuffling breath and breaking twigs behind me sounded like gunfire.

  I was no longer alone.

  My mouth was dry, and my hands were suddenly shaking. I dared not breathe for fear of giving myself away before I knew what the noisy thing was. Whatever it was, it was too close to be whatever had roared in the distance. Great, two things to worry about. Slowly, I inched around the tree, bracing myself with one hand, to try to see what was creeping up on me. I kept my face pressed against the smooth trunk, trying to keep myself as small as possible. Dead leaves crunched and twigs snapped as the thing made its way through the dark forest. It finally came around another group of trees, and by the weak moonlight, I made it out.

  For one heart stopping moment, I thought it was the Hell Hound Ian had set on me so long ago, but this thing had thick, coarse fur, so white it nearly glowed. Its paws were as big as both my hands put together, shoulders as high as mine, and its tail swished back and forth, back and forth as it snuffled against the ground, looking for a scent to follow. I might’ve thought it was beautiful until he picked up his head and swung his face in my direction. It reminded me of a snow leopard after a bloody battle.

  His black lips stretched wide over a mouth full of razor-like teeth, each one as long as my finger, and saliva foamed and dripped from the corners of his mouth. His eyes were black and beady, nearly lost in the ruff of fur around his squashed nose. His ears were flattened against his head as he galumphed through the trees, snuffling the ground. He got ever closer to me, and I knew my chances of escaping dwindled as I stood frozen in place. I chewed the inside of my cheek, trying to think of what to do. Yes, I could run, sure, but to where? The trees seemed to go on and on, and I had no idea where I was. I would’ve climbed a tree, but all of the branches were too high for me to reach, and the trunks were smooth in the winter hibernation.

  Laying the flat of my hand against the tree, I tried to make contact with it, asking it to open up and take me in, to hide me from the monster. But the tree remained quiet and firm against my hand. I had hoped the pain returning meant I had some of my powers back, but if I couldn’t get a tree to hear me, then I definitely had no Earth powers here. I cursed silently before edging to stand up, keeping my body pressed tightly against the tree.

  Risking another glance around the trunk, I saw the creature turn left, away from me, sniffling and snuffling as it went like a pig looking for truffles. Just as I was about to turn and sneak away, my foot slipped on some loose dirt, and the toe of my boot scraped against a root. In the quiet, it sounded absurdly loud, but not so loud as the beast’s surprised snort. Its ears shot straight up and turned toward the sound, toward me.

  Our eyes met, mine round and unblinking, its narrowed and angry. It craned its head back, its neck lengthening as it did, and howled so long and loud that I cringed away. Before it dropped its head, I spun on the spot and ran.

  I pushed my feet against the earth as hard as I could, pumped my legs as fast as I could, but as if in a nightmare, I felt as if I was running through sand, too slow and clumsy to ever hope to get away. I could hear the thundering of its paws as it chased me. I dodged around clumps of trees and over loose patches of dirt. My lungs were constricted and kept me from drawing a full breath, and the cracked rib stabbed me like a sword on fire.

  Just as I feared, the forest was never ending; the trees went on and on as I ran, a black blur at the edges of my sight. The ground never dipped or rose. I ran right and left and still it remained constant. I could almost feel the ground trembling under me as the beast thundered on. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw it was much closer to me than I thought. Milky globs of saliva trailed from its mouth, and its eyes were red and angry and hungry. The massive claws on his paws cut deep into the earth, propelling it faster and faster until I felt its hot breath against my neck.

  I sensed it preparing to lunge for me, its muscles coiling in upon each other, ho
lding its breath, gauging the distance between us. Just when it let out another howl, I stopped short, skidding on the dirt, falling to one knee as I spun around. The beast leapt from the ground, its claws outstretched for me, but I turned and ran the way I had come. The beast flew over my head, landing in a heap of tangled limbs and fur on the ground, just where I had been moments before. I scrambled for my footing momentarily, but in my panic, I burst forward, putting distance between me and the beast. It rolled clumsily to its feet, shaking its shaggy head, stunned after landing so hard and wrong.

  I clamped my mouth shut to quiet my breathing and darted around a clump of closely growing trees. Their trunks twisted around one another, splitting this way and that. I reached up and hooked my hand into the V of two of the trees and, bracing my feet on the twisting trunks, I heaved myself up and began to climb. The heat of pain from my broken rib intensified with every stilted movement. My feet slid and my hands protested against my weight as I wedged them into the places where the trees split away from each other. In a few moments, I was high enough to avoid the beast’s claws when it caught up with me and began to swipe at the air, trying to reach me.

  I climbed as high as I could, clinging to the tree, and watched the cat monster try to reach me. Its claws dug into the tree, snapping off chunks of wood as it tried to climb, only to break through the trunk and fall. I moved carefully from one tree to the next, trying in vain to put more distance between it and me. It followed my progress, stalking around the group of twined trees, its eyes never leaving me.

  My arms shook with the effort of holding myself up, so I extended my legs until I could brace my feet against the next tree, slowly turning my body over so my back was against the tree I held. With my legs taking my weight, I could let my arms drop to my side to rest.

  “Well, this is just wonderful,” I mumbled, rubbing the tingles out of my arms. Staring down at the beast, I wondered just how the hell I was going to get out of this one. Without magic, I was no match for the thing. After a few dizzying circles around the base of the trees, the beast threw back its head again, its neck stretching twice its normal length, and let out another howl. This one was long and low, almost musical. I nearly fell out of the tree when I heard the answering call of not one, not two, but three other howls in the distance.