Phasewave

by David Gill

  At first Declan did not notice the soft touch against his back. He sat with bowed head, waiting for his life to end. The hand continued to creep over his shoulder and down his arm until its slender fingers interlocked with his and he felt Jenna lean against him.

  'Come back,' she whispered.

  Declan made no attempt to move. Jenna pulled him round to face her and wiped the tear streaks from his cheeks. 'I had no right to be so hard on you. I'm sorry.'

  'It was true,' said Declan.

  'Only in your eyes are things all right or all wrong. I'm the one in trouble, remember, not you. Come with me before you die of cold.'

  'I've let you down,' said Declan.

  'None of this is your fault,' said Jenna. 'You've not let me down; you're the first person who has actually listened to what I've been saying, and you've been kinder to me than you needed to have been. The standards you set for yourself are unattainable; you have to learn to accept that you are human like everyone else. Come back to the apartment, please.'

  Declan's resolve had withered, and he allowed Jenna to help him to his feet and lead him through the darkness. Deep inside, he felt as if something had snapped under an enormous strain, and all he was certain of was that within a short space of time his life had irreversibly changed and he had somehow become a different person. Upon returning to the apartment, Jenna ran a shower, removed Declan's robe and sat him under the spray of hot water, soaping him over and sponging his body while he allowed her to wash away his cares and return the feeling to his frozen flesh.

  'Don't you find me hideous?' he asked.

  Jenna fingered the puckered scars down Declan's side. 'I've seen worse,' she said, and laughed. 'You can't expect to go through life without getting bent every now and again. Look what's happened to me; this isn't exactly what I had in mind when I escaped from Bouron.' She turned off the water and gently towelled Declan dry.

  'You're soaking wet,' said Declan, wrapping the towel around him.

  'It was in a good cause,' Jenna replied. She looked down at her water-stained clothes, then slipped them off and stood naked before him. Declan looked away, embarrassed.

  'I've nothing to hide,' said Jenna. 'Look at me.' She waited until Declan's gaze was upon her again and reached out and pulled the towel from around his waist.

  'You won't be needing this,' she said, dropping it on the floor. Then she stood on her toes and kissed Declan lightly on the lips before turning and walking into her bedroom, leaving Declan staring at the door she had left open behind her.

  Declan lay on his back, looking at the bedroom ceiling. Upon reflection, he decided that he must have died and been reborn in a state that he could not even begin to comprehend. His body was rejuvenated and his mind cleansed; he had been plucked from the abyss and placed on a pinnacle. Never before in his life had he imagined that a human being could feel so satisfied, so complete. It was like living in a time warp, he thought. There was no past or future, only a surreal present, far removed from the real world outside.

  Jenna stirred and pulled herself closer for warmth, and her breath was soft against Declan's skin. He reached around her and felt her body mould to the contours of his and imagined the two of them on a boat, wrapped inside a cocoon, floating wherever the wind took them, allowing the moving waters to steer them away from the storms on the horizon.

  'What are you thinking?' said Jenna drowsily.

  'I was thinking that you've taught me the meaning of happiness,' said Declan.

  'That's a nice thought,' said Jenna. 'I've never understood why you haven't got any friends or partners. I mean, you're not repulsive or anything.'

  'I'm no good with people. I don't know how to react, so I'm always saying or doing the wrong things.'

  'Well, you learnt quickly enough tonight.' Jenna propped herself up on one elbow and looked at him. 'Listen to me for once. Obey your instincts and don't try to analyse everything. Just go with the flow for a change.'

  'You sound as if you've got a probe inside my head.' Declan smiled. His whole life had turned upside down. Lying with Jenna and discussing his innermost thoughts felt like the most natural thing in the world, yet, at the same time, the whole experience was profoundly exciting. 'The end of our dreams is the end of our lives' he said to himself.

  'What's that?' asked Jenna.

  'Poetry, I believe. It just sprang to mind.'

  'It sounds interesting,' said Jenna. 'Do you know any more?'

  'I can't remember.' Bits and pieces of ancient memory floated to the surface of Declan's mind. 'The eyes are the mirrors of life. Yes, it's coming back. The poem is about restless souls looking out through the mirrors of their eyes, but, because others cannot see inside, they are doomed to spend their lives in hiding. They only really come to life in their dreams and when their dreams stop there is no longer anything to live for.'

  'That's very profound,' said Jenna. 'It sounds like it could have been written for you.'

  'Perhaps that's what made me think of it,' said Declan.

  'You're so different now,' said Jenna. 'I remember when Gil brought you into that headquarters place. You were so weird. I nearly died when I first saw you.'

  'I'm glad we did meet. I feel as if I've lived through your experiences on Bouron with you. You've definitely done something to me - you've taken the mirrors from my eyes.'

  Jenna lay down and snuggled closer. 'At least all that stuff is behind me now; it's as if I imagined it all. I feel like I've just recovered from an illness. Do you think I was sick?'

  'No,' said Declan, 'you didn't imagine it. Everything you told me actually happened.'

  'But no-one will believe me without proof.'

  'You must believe in yourself,' said Declan, and then he recalled something he had forgotten. 'Do you remember Gil saying the Kalmis Phasewave had been broken into? He wouldn't say any more at the time, but could Brant have done it?'

  'In answer to your question - I'm sure that it could have been done only by Brant.'

  The nagging doubt which had been gnawing at Declan's subconscious suddenly surfaced. His pulse quickened - the missing something was about to be revealed. 'Where is Brant now?'

  Jenna looked at Declan in surprise. 'I thought you knew that he escaped.'

  'Escaped? Brant was in prison? How did he escape? Prisons are escape proof.'

  'Not any more, apparently,' said Jenna. 'I understand that one day Brant simply walked out of prison and was never seen again, until now.'

  The doubt continued to tighten its hold on Declan's attention. He was still missing something. What was it? How had Brant become involved?

  'So it must have been Brant who broke into the Phasewave, mustn't it?' said Jenna.

  'I guess so. I don't think it could have been anyone else, although I don't know how he managed to do it. Maybe he picked up that kind of knowledge while he was trapped inside the Phasewave.' As soon as Declan uttered the words a huge chunk of the picture fell into place with an almost audible impact. The big picture flashed before his eyes and, to his delight, he found that the penultimate piece of the puzzle was now in place. It was as if the whole scene had become illuminated by a bright light, and all the details bar one were complete. Each twist and turn of Jenna's story was now clearly revealed in the intricate, tangled pattern of events.

  Jenna's breathing gradually subsided into a slow rhythm, but Declan remained wide awake. His mind was clear and lucid and he experienced the intense satisfaction that followed such a revelation, something he had not experienced since Scion3. He slowly went through each stage of his deliberations, challenging their logic until he became convinced that he had not been led along a sterile path. The picture did not change during the process and at last Declan was able to relax and wonder at its beauty and form. Never before had he put together such a complex entity. Only one detail remained to be completed - the hole in the middle, the final piece that would allow the picture to be frozen and stored for eternity. Declan lay motionless and let the work of art t
ake him over, feeling an indescribable sense of awe on observing the subtle nuances of thought that had moulded the frame upon which the truth lay so vividly portrayed. The picture continued to slowly absorb him until he became one with his creation and fell into a restful sleep, uninterrupted by dreams for the first time in years.

  Chapter Seven

  The sun shone through a translucent wave of flowing mist and a cold dampness penetrated the air, but Declan had not been outside long enough for it to affect him as he stood, naked, on the balcony watching the sky slowly churn into different shapes. Other concerns occupied his attention. Two significant events had combined to divert the direction of his life: one was his new relationship with Jenna and with it the exciting potential of experiences to come, the other was the solution of the most complex puzzle he had ever encountered. He reflected upon each in turn and found a contentment that surpassed anything he had previously experienced. Life was good. He stretched towards the sky and became aware that he was not alone. Jenna was leaning against the open door, watching him. She smiled a greeting and joined him at the rail, seemingly oblivious to his uncovered body.

  'There's something different about you this morning,' said Jenna.

  'It's probably the fact that I'm not wearing those old clothes of mine,' said Declan.

  Jenna stood back and appraised Declan with a practised eye. 'I know what it is - you've stopped hanging your head.'

  As soon as Declan heard Jenna's words he knew what she meant. That morning he had sensed that something was different when he walked out onto the balcony. Jenna was right; he felt taller and no longer looked down at the ground.

  'Any more of that and soon I won't be able to reach you,' said Jenna. She inspected the scar tissue that ran down Declan's side. 'This is healing already.'

  When Declan found that his body no longer embarrassed him he knew for certain that he was a changed person. It was another first. 'I need to talk to you about last night,' he said.

  Jenna reached up and held a finger against his lips. 'No, this is my last day and I'm not going to take anything seriously. I don't want it spoilt in any way.'

  'Very well,' said Declan. 'You call the tune. Tell me what you would like to do.'

  'We're going to grab some food and go for a walk in the mountains,' said Jenna. 'For once we're going to do something different.'

  'I'm not sure we're allowed outside the complex,' said Declan doubtfully.

  'Don't you dare listen to that old voice of authority. We can do anything we want. Who's going to stop us?'

  'You're right, of course,' said Declan, 'but it feels peculiar being able to act spontaneously.'

  'Well, why don't you spontaneously get dressed and help me find something to eat? You can examine your conscience while we walk.'

  Declan laughed, finding his changed circumstances difficult to adjust to. 'We can do what we want, and for once in my life I don't give a damn about anyone else's opinion.'

  You stick close to me,' said Jenna, 'I've had lots of practice at getting people into trouble.'

  Declan stopped on the summit of the mountain while he recovered his breath. Jenna perched precariously on the edge of a ridge and looked down to where the high ground melted into a bank of mist some ten kilometres away. Nothing stirred; the two of them could have been the only living people in the world. A weak sun had pushed the mist down to the plains below, and shafts of white light traced horizontal paths across the sky, yielding no warmth. Higher still, the moon maintained its commanding position, threatening the sun with its vast bulk.

  Jenna dropped the bag she was carrying to the ground and followed Declan's upward gaze. 'Have you ever wondered why a moon that size doesn't come crashing down on top of us?' she innocently asked.

  'Actually, I can explain,' said Declan. 'The moon is hollow, so its density is ... Why are you smiling?'

  'You would know the answer to that, wouldn't you?' Jenna burst out laughing. 'Only you would try to answer such a silly question.'

  Understanding slowly dawned. 'You mean I'm taking things seriously again?' Declan saw the resigned look on Jenna's face. 'Okay, I give in. I promise I won't do it again.'

  Jenna unpacked lunch and they sat next to each other and ate in silence, each absorbed in their own thoughts.

  Declan eventually broke the silence. 'You may laugh, but for years there have been reports, theories and sightings that the shell of the Vennican moon was breaking up and that it was eventually going to fall onto Vennica. It became a staple media story for when they had nothing else to talk about.'

  'I'm not sure I would be laughing if I heard that. It's a big chunk of rock to try to avoid, and hopefully I won't be around if it does go.'

  The Vennican gravity was taking its toll on Declan, and the combination of cold and exertion had left the muscles in his legs throbbing. Eventually he got to his feet, walked over to a small outcrop, and looked out over the view.

  'At least we don't have to talk about Phasewave anymore,' said Jenna, joining him on the outcrop. 'That's a relief.'

  'You can't come this far and not finish,' said Declan. 'I would like to hear the end,'

  'There's no point. Have you worked out what happened yet?'

  'Yes, but I need time to put everything into perspective.'

  'Just tell me,' said Jenna. 'You owe me that much. Explain to me what happened. Was I imagining it?'

  'You have seen things outside the realms of human experience, and I think that you have been exceptionally ... '

  'Don't patronise me!' Jenna snapped. 'You know perfectly well what I mean. You keep telling me that you believe what I say but can't tell me what I need to know. Why is that so difficult for you?'

  'I'm not yet ready,' said Declan. 'First finish your story and then I'll tell you everything.'

  'That's all behind me. You already know the answers.'

  'Humour me then. I'd like to hear it in your own words.'

  Jenna shrugged. 'If it makes you happy, but I can't see what it's going to achieve.'

  *******************************

  Jenna woke to the smell of cooking and found Ellen in the galley making breakfast.

  'Care to join me?' said Ellen cheerfully. 'I've been looking forward to this for a long time.'

  Jenna was tempted by the sight and smell of food, but Brant's warnings still rang in her ears. 'I think I'll give it a miss if you don't mind.'

  'Well, there's plenty of coffee,' said Ellen, 'help yourself.'

  'Thanks,' said Jenna, 'but today I'm going to try something different.' She casually opened the cold store, selected a sealed fruit drink from the bottom of the pack and joined Ellen at the table.

  Ellen concentrated on her breakfast, eating as if she had not seen food for weeks, which, observed Jenna, was factually correct.

  'How are you feeling this morning?' Jenna asked.

  'Like a new woman. Last night I slept like a stone, which is just as well if I'm going to be able to sort anything out. I still can't see a way forward. At some point we've got to tell the next crew what's gone on, and I've no idea how they'll react. What if they refuse to stay here?'

  'I wouldn't worry too much about that,' said Jenna. 'We knew you were missing and we still elected to stay.'

  'I can't stop thinking about it. How much can we tell them? At the end of the day all we will be able to produce are a couple of modified units, one of which contains Carrick.'

  'And Vance,' added Jenna.

  A look of consternation flitted across Ellen's face. 'And Vance, of course. I think we'd better be careful what we tell the next crew about Unit Nine. We don't want some government department taking the Phasewave away from us, because without it we'll never get the men back.'

  'It'll be months before the supply ship arrives,' said Jenna, 'and to fetch a replacement crew will take even longer. We've got plenty of time to go through our options.'

  'You're right. We need to give this matter a lot of consideration before we commit ourselves to a course
of action.'

  Jenna drank her juice and watched Ellen finish her meal. The suspicion that Ellen was not telling the truth continued to nag her.

  Ellen wiped her mouth with a napkin. 'That was marvellous; I really missed solid food.' She got up to leave. 'I have to go and talk to Carrick now to keep his spirits up.'

  'I'll come with you,' said Jenna, and once again she detected a change in Ellen's countenance. 'I want to make sure Vance is all right.'

  'Let's talk to them together,' said Ellen, 'but first there are a few things I must do.'

  'Call me when you're ready,' said Jenna. After Ellen had left Jenna looked at the mess in the galley, automatically started to clear it away, and then stopped. What on Bouron was she doing? Ellen was preparing to sacrifice her in order to save Carrick while she was left cleaning up the galley! Jenna dropped everything back onto the table, ashamed of herself. It was time to come to terms with the situation, and if she ever wanted to see Brant again she could not allow Ellen the opportunity to get the better of her.

  Jenna returned to her cabin, flushed with excitement at the thought of talking to Brant again. Her messenger light was flashing so she pressed the call return and, to her horror, found herself confronted by Carrick's menacing face on the monitor.

  'We meet again,' said Carrick. 'Let's cut the crap. I've got Brant and he's told me about the warnings he gave you, so I'll make a deal - swap places with me and he won't come to any harm, then you two can stay together until I can arrange to get you out.'

  Jenna backed away from the monitor, as if Carrick was capable of causing her physical harm. 'Why don't you and Ellen stay inside the machine?' she said, in a voice pitched high by nervousness. 'You got yourselves into this mess; it's nothing to do with us.'

  'Forget it,' said Carrick. 'If I'm still inside this thing in one hour's time I'm going to torture Brant until there's nothing left of him, and I'm going to record it to make sure that every time you go near a monitor you'll see him die and all night long you'll hear him screaming and begging for mercy. You're his last chance, so now it's up to you whether he lives or dies. Go to Unit Nine and prepare to swap places.'