Heartstrings

by Marilee Boekweg

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Eroica sat on the bed in AnnaMaria’s guest room. Her parents were busy packing so they could fly back to Germany that night.

  “The conservatory would love to hire you, Eroica,” her father was saying. “Especially now that you have won second place in an international competition. I know that you don’t want to come to Germany right now, but you may change your mind.”

  “Do you have any definite plans, Eroica?” her mother asked. “Have you and Mark discussed marriage?”

  “No,” Eroica sighed. “I’m not going to marry Mark. He and I are just friends.”

  “Okay.” Her mother tried to sound unconcerned.

  “I wasn’t expecting anything from this piano festival. But since I won thirty thousand dollars, I have been thinking about using it for a down payment on a house. It would be nice to have a place where I could fit my piano and my harpsichord. And now that AnnaMaria has moved, I worry about disturbing my neighbor with my piano practicing. I would like to live somewhere that I could practice anytime I wanted.”

  “I think that is a great idea,” said her father. “You have been busy since you graduated. You just need some time. Answers will come to you.”

  “I think that your father is right. Take some time, explore your options. You are as opinionated as your father, so you’ll be able to narrow down what you want to do.”

  Her father, with a chuckle and a glance at his wife, snapped the suitcases shut and they were ready to go.

  All the way to the airport Eroica brooded about her future. It was hard to say goodbye to her parents. Maybe she should be going back with them. She hardly knew why she was staying. She had no reason to. Maybe her cellist was in Germany. He certainly wasn’t in Utah. But Eroica was so tired of chasing after him. And she was tired of suitcases and airports. Why couldn’t he come to Utah and find her?

  It was late when Eroica got back form the airport. When she opened her door the phone was ringing.

  “Did your parents get off to Germany, then?”

  “Mark, it’s after midnight. What are you doing calling me so late?”

  “I have a great idea. You are finally free of responsibilities, something that doesn’t happen to you very often. Let’s spend the whole day together tomorrow. Let’s do something really fun. Anything you want.”

  “But we aren’t free of responsibility. You missed three days of work, and I missed the whole week. I have no idea what those kids have been doing in their chamber classes.”

  “They are just fine. I’ve made sure of that. I’ve also given us tomorrow off. The kids are going on a field trip to an instrument-making school and repair shop, anyway. So what do you think?”

  “I’ve never been to SaltPoint Water Park, and every time I drive past it I wish I had an excuse to go.”

  Mark laughed. “You constantly surprise me. You know exactly what you want. You just never say anything until you are pressed.”

  “Can we take Daphne and Blythe with us so we look as if we have a reason to be there?”

  “I’m sure they would love to go. And don’t make any plans for tomorrow night, either. I want to spend the entire day with you.”

  Eroica no longer thought about her future. She only thought about being with Mark all day. And not having any piano practicing to do.

 

  The day was perfect for going to a water park. A little bit overcast, but no rain. Mark, Daphne, and Blythe had packed a picnic, and they stayed until it was almost dark. Eroica wanted to stay longer, but the lifeguards were crying closing time, so the fun had to end.

  “It won’t take me long to get Daphne and Blythe home,” Mark said when they had packed up and were ready to go. “And I want to take you out to dinner. I want to spend every moment I can with you, so I’ll pick you up as soon as I can. You are probably tired of dressing up, anyway.”

  Eroica went home and put on a light blue dress with a sailor collar. It was cool and comfortable, just what Eroica’s slightly sunburned shoulders needed. She ran a comb through her wet hair, and wondered what she was going to do with it. She knew that Mark would knock on her door soon, so she hurriedly tied a ribbon in it, and let if fall loosely around her shoulders. In this heat it would quickly dry. She just had time to look at her reflection and regret the new freckles on her face, when she heard the knock at the door.

  “You look great,” Mark smiled at her. “And you were fast.”

  “Where do you want to go? Pizza or tacos? I am not going to eat a hamburger tonight.”

  “Actually, I was thinking of taking you to The Sky Garden. Neither one of us has been there before. Well, you have been there before, but neither one of us has eaten there before,” Mark laughed.

  Eroica chose to ignore that comment. “The Sky Garden is such a fancy, expensive restaurant.”

  “I know. But everyone should go there at least once. It will be fun. There won’t be any pressure on either of us. Just best friends going out to dinner.”

  “If you are sure of this, it does sound like fun.”

  It was a breezy, twilight evening when Eroica went back outside with Mark. Regardless of just being best friends going out to dinner, Eroica knew that things were different. There was something in Mark’s voice, something in his eyes that made her wonder. Holding possessively onto her hand, he led her into the restaurant. But all through dinner, nothing happened. Mark kept his promise and did not propose to her. Eroica hadn’t admitted it to herself until now, but she wanted Mark to ask her to marry him. He wasn’t going to, though.

  “Let’s walk around the temple, like we did before,” Mark suggested after they had left the restaurant. “I’m not ready to say goodnight to you.”

  They slowly walked, arm in arm, Eroica sometimes resting her head against his shoulder. Neither one felt the need to say anything.

  “Eroica, I have something for you,” Mark began as they sat down on a bench. He handed her another small velvet jewelry box.

  “You must have gone ahead and bought these by the case. But Mark, I haven’t lost the last CTR ring that you gave me. It’s right here,” she held up her hand. “I just kept leaving it at home because I was practicing so much.”

  “Well, go ahead and open the box anyway.”

  Eroica lifted the lid and inside was not a CTR ring. It was a diamond engagement ring. And it was beautiful. Something that Eroica would have picked for herself. She had hoped for this moment, but now that it was here, she had a hard time believing it. She tried to say something, but Mark stopped her.

  “I realize that there are difficulties involved. I have not forgotten about the man that you met all those years ago. I know you felt that he was the one you should marry. But something went wrong. And I think it’s time that we both went on with our lives. I need to, Eroica.

  “You are my best friend. I want to come home from work at the end of the day and know that I will see you. I want to raise a family with you. I want to live every day of my life for you and with you. My love for you is here. It is real. It’s not a lost dream that can’t seem to be found. Marry me, and I promise that I will remain faithful to you and to God throughout my whole life.”

  Mark stopped to catch his breath. He was in such earnest that Eroica wanted to tell him yes as soon as she could.

  “Mark,” she began.

  “Wait, Eroica.” He put a finger to her lips. “I don’t want you to answer me. No yet. I need to finish this. If you agree to marry me, I will do all in my power to make you happy. But I cannot marry you if you are not completely committed to me. Hard times will come to us, as they do to everyone. And when they do, we will need to face them together. And we won’t be able to if you are wishing that you had waited a little longer for some cello-playing stranger to come along.”

  Here Mark paused, giving Eroica time to understand his full meaning.

  “I feel that I could
give you an answer right now,” Eroica quietly said. “But I know that is not what you want. So I will think about what you have said. And if I say yes, it will be with a heart that is committed to no one else but you.”

  Mark smiled at her, relief filling his face. He bent down and kissed her forehead before kissing her lips. Eroica had waited so long for him to kiss her. And when he finally did, it was everything that she had dreamed it would be. She never knew that she could feel so happy. She wanted to laugh and cry all at once. This moment was perfect. If only she could have said yes to him right then. But she knew that he was right. She needed to know, all on her own, that marrying Mark was the right thing to do.

  “I guess I had better take you home,” Mark finally said. “I think it’s best if I don’t call you or see you until you have come to a decision. I will just wait for you to let me know.”

  Mark kissed her several more times before they walked away from the temple. Eroica hoped that she would be able to find the answer that Mark wanted. She wanted this happiness to last forever.

  “I printed the pictures from the piano festival, and they turned out great.” AnnaMaria and her children tumbled into Eroica’s front room. “I also made something for you, but I don’t know if you will like it.”

  “Of course I will, Anna. Why wouldn’t I?”

  “Because you just might not. Anyway, here it is.” AnnaMaria handed Eroica a paper bag with something heavy in it.

  Eroica took the package and pulled out a two sided, beautifully worked silver picture frame. In one frame was the program from the competition, with Eroica’s name and the piano concerto title showing. In the other frame was a picture of Mark in his black tuxedo and Eroica in her emerald green dress. It was a beautiful picture. Mark was holding Eroica’s hand up as if he would kiss it, and Eroica was smiling into his face.

  “Mark was such an important part of your whole piano festival, and this picture turned out so well. I didn’t think that you would mind.”

  “We thought that everyone was done taking pictures when you took this one.”

  “I know. You two had no idea what anyone else was doing. Whatever Mark was saying at the time, it fascinated you.”

  Eroica laughed as she remembered. “Thank you, Anna. I really do like it. And you’re right. If it weren’t for Mark, I never would have entered the piano competition.”

  “The rest of the pictures are in this envelope,” AnnaMaria said as she handed them to Eroica. “I’ll just put this frame on your dresser and let you decide what to do with it.”

  Eroica hadn’t even taken the pictures out of the package before she heard a shrill scream from AnnaMaria. The boys ran down the hall to see what was wrong. Eroica remembered too late. The engagement ring was on the dresser.

  “What is this?” AnnaMaria cried as she came back with the box and the ring.

  “It’s an engagement ring, of course.”

  “I know that. It’s from Mark, isn’t it? And why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Yes, it’s from Mark. And I didn’t tell you because there is nothing to tell, yet.”

  “Aren’t you going to accept his proposal?” AnnaMaria gasped.

  “I don’t know. I want to, but I’m afraid to.”

  “What are you afraid of?” AnnaMaria asked as she sat down.

  “Commitment, I guess.”

  “Don’t you want to get married, Eroica?”

  “Yes, I do. I just don’t want to marry the wrong person.”

  “So, what is all wrong with Mark?”

  “Absolutely nothing. He would be a perfect husband. But I’m not sure that I would be a perfect wife. What keeps you and John committed to each other?”

  “That’s a good question. John is forever taking things apart and trying to fix them. It frustrates me that he won’t ever let me take things to a repair shop. Especially when he has leftover parts. Just the other day he fixed the dishwasher. I think it is now being held together with one screw. It works, but every time I use it I expect the door to fall off and water to come pouring out all over the kitchen floor.

  “As odd as this sounds, John does all of this because he loves me and he is committed to our family. If you make promises in the temple and try every day to live up to them, then Heavenly Father blesses you and your marriage. Remember, Eroica, the Church is true. Temple marriage is God’s plan for us.”

  “I’m not doubting my testimony. I guess that I’m just doubting myself. How did you know that you should marry John?”

  “That was easy. I prayed about it, and then I knew. I was so worried about our parents, though. What would they think about their oldest daughter getting married in a temple that they couldn’t enter? I didn’t want to disappoint them. They had been so good to me throughout my whole life. But I knew that it was the right thing to do and that Heavenly Father would take care of everything. And He did.

  “Eroica, you need to find out for yourself if God approves of you marrying Mark. Do what the scriptures tell us to do. Make a decision, and then ask God if it is right. He will let you know. He loves you, and wants you to be happy.”

  “You’re right,” Eroica agreed. “I need to stop stewing over this and make a decision.”

  “And you need to let me know what is going on in your life. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me. I’m your sister. You’re supposed to let me in on these things.”

  “Oh Anna, I wanted to tell you. But what would I have said? A perfectly wonderful man has just proposed marriage to me and I can’t make up my mind to say yes.”

  “You could have said that a perfectly wonderful man has just proposed to you, and you are taking the time to seek heavenly inspiration.”

  “That sounds much better,” Eroica laughed.

  “Well, I’d better get these kids home before they tear up your house. You need to get married and have children of your own. That way, when I bring my children over, there will be toys to play with. There is nothing for them to do here except unload your kitchen cupboards.”

  “I’ll see what I can do.” Eroica helped AnnaMaria buckle her children back into the car.

  “I want to be the first one to know when you have made up your mind. Well, the second. You can tell Mark first.”

  “Thank you for that. I will keep in touch. I promise.”

  AnnaMaria drove away and left Eroica with a heavy feeling of responsibility. How was she going to choose between a memory that she used to be so sure of, and a reality that seemed so uncertain?