Blank Space
Page 24
Epilogue
One Year Later
"Hey," Adrian called. He swayed side to side with Dustin, now three months old, in his arms as he tried to harmonize his voice to a song he wanted to sing. When Dustin continued to cry, even after Adrian changed him, fed him one of the breast milk bottles in the fridge, Adrian merely tried to harmonize with Dustin's cries.
"Hey, hey, hey," Adrian went on. He placed Dustin against his chest as he lunged forward slightly on one leg. When he repeated the action—and heard the sweet, sweet sound of silence—Adrian realized with a laugh what his son needed. "Is that it, little boy? Did you just want me to dance like a maniac with you in my arms? Not sing?"
Dustin didn't answer, but his suddenly even breathing and closed eyes were all Adrian needed as a response. While Kayla had liked to hear Adrian's off-key covers of Radiohead, Dustin was apparently into dancing. Okay, I can do dancing. How hard could it be?
After he tucked Dustin back into his crib, Adrian ran through some other songs he could use for their dance beat. It may mean breaking into his old ska-core collection from his first years at university, but The Mighty Mighty Bosstones were good for kids, right? Or the Cheap Suits? Maybe Simone could throw in some of her old Riot Grrrl favourites, too. Adrian seemed to recall some tracks by The Julie Ruin or Le Tigre having good dance beats . Then there was the Breeders—Kim Deal from the Pixies—side project. By the time Adrian had reached the foot of the stairs, he already had an entire playlist selected in his mind.
From where Adrian stood, he could hear Simone reading to Kayla in her new bedroom, their soft voices slighted heighted. It was late for her to be up—almost eleven now—but Dustin's cries had bothered her, and Simone had volunteered to read to Kay until she fell asleep again. Apparently, Kayla wasn't going down easily—not that Simone seemed to mind. Kayla had just discovered the wonderful world of Roald Dahl, and since those were easily Simone's favourite books—and illustrations, Adrian couldn't forget those—she had started to read them again with relish. Adrian leaned against the stairwell, lingering a little while longer, just as he picked out a funny line from The BFG in Simone's voice. They were only on the first chapter, but it was a good start for the night.
Adrian moved into the kitchen, still swaying slightly from his impromptu dance. He saw the used bottles on the counter and began to run water in the sink. While the water ran and the dishes soaked, he made some lunches for the next day for both for Simone and Kayla, since they were heading out on a school trip together. He added a third sandwich for himself into the mix, too. With Dustin in the house, Adrian had to plan for his own lunch hours ahead of time, instead of work himself into oblivion and until his hunger took over at three in the afternoon like he used to do. There was no room for that anymore. But Adrian didn't mind. Not at all. Dustin was a wonderful addition to the house and it was a real house, not just a narrow place on Shank Street. This place was big and filled with a wonderful family, and some of the best people next door.
With that task done, Adrian turned his attention back to the dishes. When he glanced up to grab the tea towels, he spotted Curtis moving around next door. If they kept the drapes drawn (and they normally did), Adrian's kitchen window looked into the living room on Curtis's house. Adrian noticed the glow of the TV in the centre of the room, but Curtis was no longer watching it. He moved in front of the window, his smile wide, as he returned Adrian's gaze. The space between their houses seemed to stretch on forever until moments like this. When that distance closed, Adrian's stomach stirred with a now familiar emotion. He smiled and lifted his arm, though he had a towel draped over it. Curtis gave a here or there? gesture to which Adrian responded with here.
Curtis grinned and mouthed, "Be over soon."
Adrian rinsed his hands, and though he hated leaving dishes half-completed in the sink, he wouldn't be gone too long. As he waited for Curtis, Adrian lingered by the foot of the stairs. Simone and Kayla were still in the middle of a chapter; he sent her a quick text to let her know he and Curtis were going to hang out and left a note in the kitchen.
Just in the basement. I have the baby monitor for Dustin. Get some sleep. Your lunches have been made. Love you.
The finished basement, which was equipped with a full washer dryer, furnace, and freezer, was also Adrian's new office space where his new desk and updated files were. There was also a large sitting area, which Adrian had decorated with his old band posters and stacked full of milk crates and records he had once kept in a storage unit. He even grabbed his old turn table and some of the other equipment he had long since forgotten about. The basement room was Adrian's music hideaway, and where he and Curtis ended up spending the most time.
Before he saw Curtis on the porch, Adrian made sure to grab the baby monitor under his arm, too. Dustin was sleeping soundly, but he and Simone were also still getting used to his schedule.
"Hey," Curtis greeted when Adrian opened the door. His voice was soft, but excited. "How are you doing?"
"Good. You?"
"I'm great. Everyone's asleep at my place, but I was still up. Glad to see you were too."
Adrian rolled his eyes a bit. He motioned for Curtis to follow him down the basement stairs with the hand that still held the baby monitor. "Dustin's been crying a lot lately. It was a bit of a show here for a bit. Kayla got up too with all the noise, so Simone and I had to switch duties around for a while."
"The early months are always so hectic," Curtis commented, then paused. "Sounds good now, though? Or do you still need some help?"
"Nah, we're good. You always come after the storm," Adrian teased. In reality, Curtis had been coming over most nights when Simone was out late with clients or busy with Kayla to help out with household chores or baby stuff. There were times when Adrian could practically taste the domesticity between the two of them; moments where he realized that this is what he and Curtis would have been like as fathers together. In those moments, when they spent half the night getting Dustin to stop his colicky cries, Adrian realized that Dustin would grow up to hopefully look at Curtis as his father, too. They hadn't discussed what to call one another with the kids quite yet (simple first names were sufficient so far), but Adrian wondered if they would eventually switch to more familiar terms. He certainly hoped.
"Here we are," Adrian announced as they reached the door to his music room. He extended his arm as he opened the door, allowing for Curtis to step ahead of him. "After you."
"Why thank you," Curtis responded playfully.
As Curtis passed by over the threshold, Adrian touched his elbow. Curtis paused, then looked up at him with a smile. He kissed him quickly, with open mouths and quick, quivering breaths. Adrian still trembled having Curtis this close to him; as this much a part of his world and life. When the kiss was over, Curtis squeezed Adrian's sides and stayed in on threshold, half in and half out of the room.
"You know me," he whispered. "I like to come after the party's all gone and take the cutest guy back with me. And eat the leftovers. Do you have any leftovers, by the way?"
Adrian scoffed. He ran his hands through Curtis's hair, then pressed another quick kiss on his lips. "Whatever, Curt. I'm just glad you're here."
"Me too."
As Curtis went to lie down on the couch, he grabbed the baby monitor from Adrian's hands and placed it on the end table next to his spot. Adrian had to fight the urge to bury his face inside Curtis's neck. He wanted to kiss him, from head to toe, and then maybe fall asleep on the couch with him again, their arms around one another. But first, they needed music to set the mood.
"So," he asked, "what do you want to listen to?"
"How about the Pixies?" Curtis said, grinning. "For old time's sake?"
"Yeah. Sounds perfect."
Adrian took out Doolittle, slid it into the stereo, and hit play—skipping all the way to "Hey"—the song he had been trying to sing to Dustin. Curtis shot Adrian a perplexed look.
"Why 'Hey' so soon?"
Adrian felt a
million stories—about his kids, about Simone, about what happened when Curtis wasn't around—come to the surface. Instead of letting them spill forward in a haze of words, he slid next to Curtis on the couch. He pressed their lips together, and let the music dictate what happened next. Just for a little while. Just for tonight.
"I guess I'm going to have to wait for an answer, huh?" Curtis asked, between the raspy chorus and their heavy breaths together.
Adrian nodded, bit his lip, and kissed him again. For what it was worth, Curtis didn't seem to mind waiting. He knew they'd have time.
Fin
About the Author
Francis Gideon is a writer of m/m romance, but he also dabbles in mystery, fantasy, historical, and paranormal fiction. He likes to stay up late, drink too much coffee, and read too many comic books. When not writing fiction, Francis teaches college English classes and studies for his PhD. He has published several critical articles on everything from the Canadian poet and artist P.K. Page, transgender identity in the YouTube community, and character deaths in the TV show Hannibal. He writes his novels using his middle name, so that his students don’t Google him and ask too many questions.
Email: francisgideon88@gmail.com
Website: francisgideon.wordpress.com
Twitter: @francisgideon88
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