Around the World in 80 Girls: The Epic 3 Year Trip of a Backpacking Casanova

by Neil Skywalker

  We went for some food later that night and arm-wrestled; I won but barely. “Your powers are weak, old man,” she said. No, not really, but that would have been cool. I was glad I won but wouldn’t have been too ashamed if I hadn’t. She was strong and I was weakened from travelling and my daily diet of beer and junk food. I could see she wasn’t that interested in a holiday romance, and except for going to the beach a few times I kept her at a bit of a distance. I was still texting with Donna a lot and even the girls I had met in Medan were still texting me crazy messages, but I hardly replied to them. I had to be careful that Bonita didn’t see me with Lilly, and Darren had to make excuses for me too.

  One day I decided to learn how to surf and went to the beach to get some lessons from local guys there – I didn’t feel like paying thirty-five dollars to get a four-hour boot camp with four others at an official surf school. The guys on the beach were sitting in the shade, renting out boards and giving cheap lessons. I went into the water with the instructor and after a while I was able to stand up and surf a bit. At one point when I fell of the board for the hundredth time, I hurt my foot and got a huge cut in it. It bled quite heavily but since I was just starting to enjoy being able to stand up and surf, and salt water sterilizes anyway, I continued the lesson until it really started to hurt. My foot was swelling a bit and the surfer dudes put some ice on it.

  It kept bleeding and they said it would be better to stop now and return tomorrow to continue the lesson for free. I agreed and limped back to the hotel.

  The funny thing was that my swim shorts were totally ripped up too. I had no idea how it happened but I must have looked like an idiot limping with a bloody foot and trying to hide my ripped up shorts by holding a small bag in front of it. The cut in my foot was quite nasty and the skin was damaged as well. I couldn’t wear a flip-flop on that foot because the cut was just where the sandal strap was. I could walk barefoot in the streets in the evening, which isn’t weird in a beach town, but during the day the pavement was too bloody hot to walk on. I let the wound dry out all day but at night I had to wear something to the bars, so I taped some bandages on my foot and used my flip flops again. This opened up the cut every night. It took nine days and a new pair of shoes to get the wound to close and heal. This was my first and only surfing experience; I wanted to surf in other countries, but found board rental prices and lessons too expensive in Australia and Brazil.

  Bonita had to start working again and Darren and I started hanging out a bit more than we had been the last little while. I had to avoid Darren if he was with Bonita because I didn’t want her to see me with Lilly and tell Donna about it. I really liked Donna and she had promised that I could stay at the hotel where she worked for free.

  Darren and I took a boat to the nearby Gili islands and stayed there for four days. The other guests included a lot of English guys who got shitfaced and played cards every night. I, of course, was on the pussy hunt every day but didn’t have much success. I really didn’t like western girls anymore at that point. Most of them were overweight and didn’t take good care of themselves. No need to start a rant about western girls again, but let’s say I wasn’t too fond of fat girls dancing like wild monkeys and being so drunk that you could hardly talk to them. When you already know you have a cute skinny girl with silky skin and beautiful black hair waiting for you and after that another cute one with giant knockers who has a free room for you in a five-star hotel, you are not too bothered to find something new.

  After four days I left and Darren stayed behind one more day boozing with his English drinking buddies. I stayed in Kuta for another six days with Lilly before I said goodbye to both her and Darren. There’s so much more I could tell about the time in Kuta: the hassles we had to extend our visas, both getting stomach flu, the places we visited on Bali, the shop girls and waitresses I was flirting with. The time I forgot my bank card at the convenience store and a store guy went out of his way to find me, the ladyboys riding around on scooters in the middle of the night and following you in the small alleys on the way to your hotel. I laughed when I saw stupidly drunken guys being lured into the alleys by luscious babes – they were in for a surprise. The look on the faces of convenience store girls when I bought lots of condoms almost three times a week, the statue of a Ronald McDonald on a surfboard, the time that…

  Indonesia – Jakarta second visit

  There have been only two occasions that I had someone waiting for me when I arrived somewhere. The second time was when I came home. The first time was in Jakarta.

  Donna waited for me at Jakarta airport and there was even a driver with her to take me to the hotel. I had definitely hit the jackpot with Donna.

  When we arrived at the hotel it was all luxury and class. This time I wouldn’t stay in a dirty old room and flush a toilet with a bucket of water. This was an enormous five-star, resort-like hotel where I could jump in the pool or take a free jet-ski ride whenever I wanted. Basically everything I wanted to do, eat or drink was free. Donna had to work that day but still came to our huge room every now and then and we banged like crazy. Her E-cups were hard to resist. And of course it wasn’t all about the sex. She is a genuine kind and friendly girl. Always smiling and in a happy mood, even if I wasn’t. Not once have I seen her grumpy or angry.

  In the evening I went to the restaurant and feasted on the massive buffet there. Tables of delicious food including lobster, shrimps, T-bone steaks and other kinds of expensive food. This was a huge difference from the rice and chicken or Big Macs I had eaten in Bali every day. After the dessert, which included lots of delicious ice cream and fruits, I could barely stand up and walk to the elevator myself. This went on for three days. I think I gained a couple of pounds in just a few days. In the morning I would eat the breakfast buffet. I would order room service for lunch and ate $18 steak sandwiches, and in the evening it was dinner buffet time again. I was enjoying the good life.

  I noticed that there were massages on the room service menu and asked Donna if I could get one. “Yeah, sure,” she said and ordered a masseuse for me. The masseuses I had seen walking around the hotel were young hot girls. I was looking forward to a hot massage from one of those girls but when I opened the door there was a 40-year-old woman with arms like a WWF wrestler. Disappointed but still looking forward to a massage I lay down on the bed and was dumb enough to say that I like a strong massage. Well, this roided-up woman massaged the living daylights out of me. She was almost breaking my ribs and spine but the worst was still to come: my legs. I don’t know how she did it but I had tears in my eyes when she “massaged” my calves and feet. Saying that it was too strong didn’t help much. Afterwards I could barely stand up straight, and walking hurt because of my battered calves.

  Donna and I always had open talks about everything and I jokingly accused her of sending that female butcher up to my room. She laughed and said she didn’t anything about it. “Can I have another one tomorrow?” I asked her. “Yeah, no problem,” she said. I made the phone call to the reception myself this time and specifically asked for a young, good-looking girl and an oil massage. I even made the guy repeat a few times. Now nothing stood in my way from a nice hot girl coming up to the room. I was wrong again. The woman who showed up wasn’t a young hot girl but about 36 years old, though she had a nice big butt. She gave me an oil massage (which still hurt like hell since my body was still battered from the day before) and I tried to game her a bit but she kept asking for a big tip if I wanted something extra.

  As I said before, Donna and I talked openly about sex and relationships, and it became clear to me that she considered me as a fuck buddy, or a “bed friend” as she named it. There was some feeling involved but she had a few other guys who visited her from time to time too. There was the Spanish business man who visited sometimes, an Australian one as well and an English pilot who flew around the world and came to see her when he flew to Jakarta. Hearing this hurt my ego a bit, and while I’m never actually jealous of someone this guy m
ade me feel a bit green with envy. She showed me a picture of him and the guy was ripped and handsome. He made tons of money as an airline pilot and probably had hot girls waiting for him all over the world. I decided not to be a complete hypocrite and forgot what she had told me. She was attracted to me and that should be enough; I shouldn’t show her beta behavior like jealousy and neediness.

  On Saturday night Donna, some friends of her that worked in the hotel and I went to Stadium, supposedly the biggest club in South East Asia. Since Indonesia is a Muslim country and Muslims aren’t allowed to drink alcohol, the whole crowd was doing ecstasy tabs. I tried one for the first time in my life. Donna paid for the tablet, that cost twenty dollars in Jakarta. In Holland you can buy that crap for three dollars. I didn’t feel so different but had trouble standing in one place. The whole crowd was dancing and raving away but it looked boring and it was very cold inside. It was a giant sausage-fest without many hot girls around. I shared half a tab more with one of Diana’s friends.

  One of her girlfriends who worked at the hotel was there too and she looked smoking hot. Her boyfriend was a quiet and dorky guy and I wondered how he ever landed a cute girl like her. She was wearing braces and it made me feel horny as hell. Every time Donna looked away I took a peek at her girlfriend’s tight round booty that was perfectly fitted in her jeans. Sorry Donna, I know you’re reading this.

  The ecstasy was making me feel extra horny and Donna and I jumped in a cab and went back to the room. We showered but I noticed that my ding dong wasn’t working that well. Was it the ecstasy in combination with lots of beers? Probably. It made a good excuse for trying out the Cialis I had bought in the Philippines. I took a whole tab and for the next few hours I couldn’t stop fucking. I had all this energy from the ecstasy and a raging boner from the Cialis. It was unlike everything I had ever experienced. Donna moaned and shouted out loud while I kept banging her like a machine gun with unlimited ammo. People were banging on the walls and door and yelling at her to be quiet.

  I couldn’t believe I had so much energy. Usually after ten or fifteen minutes my tongue was already hitting the ground and I had to stop before my heart exploded. Half my trip I had been in the worst shape ever and now I felt like a superman. Even after we stopped banging after a few hours I couldn’t sleep and at 10am in the morning I was still up and writing a long email to Darren, who left Indonesia that day.

  When I woke up in the afternoon I felt like shit. I was dead tired and my nose and throat were seriously hurting. I blamed the cold club and the fact that the air conditioning had been on all night while we were banging and sleeping. Donna felt fine except for the fact that she had trouble walking from being sore between the legs and having muscle pain. I didn’t want to eat that day and felt sick; I even threw up that night, which was embarrassing because Donna heard it.

  The next morning we had to move to another hotel because we couldn’t carry on too long for free in that expensive room. Donna paid for another hotel where she claimed she got a huge discount but I don’t know if that was true. I feared she paid for everything and tried to pay for stuff too. She let me pay small bills like the drinking bill in Memories earlier that week or a cheap taxi ride. This room was luxurious too and on the seventeenth floor and had a great view over the city. I was feeling worse and worse by the minute but still went out to bars with her. The thought of beer drinking strengthened me.

  I saw Mona again at Memories. I had messaged her on Facebook and she came to say hello to me and give a cold hello to Donna. Mona had not forgotten the night I lost interest in her and probably blamed Donna and her enormous busty chest for this. That night I eased my sore throat with some beers and ate a bit but during the day I was sick as a dog again. I didn’t smoke anymore and barely ate. After two nights we moved to yet another hotel, the Formula One. It was a bit of a touristy place but still very nice. I agreed to see Mona in Memories at ten at night and she drank a lot and flirted like crazy with me, asking me to come to her room and fuck her. I wanted to but I had to be back at the hotel at midnight and knew I wouldn’t make it. Annie, the girl I had banged in Memories café the first time I visited Jakarta was there too and pulled my arm again. Choice enough but I had to be back by midnight like some Cinderella player.

  The bad thing was that Donna didn’t even show up until 1:15 and I could’ve had gone with Mona in the meanwhile. Well, you can’t win them all, and I already had a rich cute girl in my bed that was a sexual freak and pleased me in many ways.

  Donna dragged me to the hospital the next day where I had the doctor examine me. He said I had a vicious throat infection and had to take antibiotics. Donna paid the $50 hospital bill but I insisted I give her the money back, which I did. The antibiotics were doing miracles and after the first round of pills my appetite came back. Donna went off to work and I invited Mona to visit me in my room. She agreed to come and see me there at eight in the evening. I had worked out an evil and cunning plan to smuggle her in through the escape exit doors so that the guards or reception workers couldn’t see her and rat me out to Donna. Mona chickened out and never showed up that night. She also promised to visit me in Holland when she was in a city close to my hometown when visiting family but also chickened out on that one, and I broke contact after.

  My extended visa ran out and I had to say goodbye to Donna. We checked out of the hotel and I went to her room in a clearly poorer area of Jakarta. She gave me an amazing goodbye blowjob and we made some naughty pictures and videos together. I sure do miss her.

  Two hours later we said goodbye at the airport and I took a plane to Singapore.

  Philippines – Cebu again

  I had been very successful with the ladies over the last couple of weeks and it felt damn good. I flew to Singapore airport, waited there a while and flew back to the Philippines again. It almost felt like flying home. By now, Cebu especially was familiar ground for me.

  Jenna was at work when I arrived at her small room with bathroom at four in the morning. She worked at a call center serving the American market and because of the time difference she worked night shifts. The security guard gave me the key to her room and I fell asleep on her small bed. I woke when I felt her big fleshy lips kiss my cheek. There she was: the only girl I had strong feelings for other than Julia. I looked up to her and after my eyes made it past her enormous cleavage I saw her smiling eyes. I made love to her and we fell asleep again. When we woke up we were both hungry and decided to visit a place we had been to a hundred times before, the McDonalds at Escario street. It was like seeing old friends again. The tall pretty girl working behind the counter, the cleaner who looked like a monkey with his facial structure and hairy arms, the bald security guard who always cleaned tables, and of course the girl with the enormous round ass. Not a hot-looking girl, but one with the biggest bubble butt in the Phils. I always joked to Jenna that I would take over a local strip club and would have this girl shake her ass to some reageaton beats. For sure I’d make a ton of money since big round bubble butts are unusual over there.

  I had promised to stay a while with Jenna but I wanted to go to the South soon. Jenna had met a Swedish guy after I left. It was my own fault, I had made a very stupid post on Facebook while I was in Malaysia and she got all mad over it and went out that night. The guy had picked her up and she had been dating him for a while. I was not happy to hear about but I couldn’t blame her. She probably thought she’d never see me again. My original plan was to move on to Australia after Indonesia, just like Darren, but I found out that prices were horrible there: for the ten-day period from before Christmas till after New Year’s Eve the prices would go up to maybe seventy dollars a night for a dorm bed in some hostel. Since my Canadian friend D-Lux was now living in the Phils and had told me I could stay with him for free for a while, I’d changed my plans and flown to the Phils first. The fact that I would see Jenna again and that D-Lux was promising me a fuckfest in his city made it an easy decision, though I think that Jenna was the main reason I
went back. I really liked her. It was no news to Jenna that I had banged a lot in Indonesia, no matter how many albums I blocked on my Facebook. I had forgotten one mutual girl in our friends list and she had seen my Indonesia pictures.

  This changed our relationship a bit but she had been with someone else too in the meantime, so we both decided not to talk about it too much.

  Time flew by and there were only a few hours a day when we could see each other. Donna from Jakarta called me a few times and we agreed to meet in Manila. She would fly there and we would spend some time together there. Instead of learning Spanish on my laptop I just downloaded a shitload of movies and watched the whole Star Wars series, which helped me come up with the pseudonym Neil Skywalker. Though I’m not some nerdy fan boy, I like the movies, and especially the idea of using the Force. The idea for some sort of book was already there and making a website came to mind, but I didn’t have a clue where to start. I knew nothing of designing and programming. My friend D-Lux had promised me to help me out and since he used to design (porn) sites I wanted to visit him, sooner rather than later. I had lived at Jenna’s place for two weeks and all we did was hang out in the mall, visit the cinema and bang twice a day. It was time to leave again and the goodbye was less emotional than last time. I promised to come back and see her one more time for a few days before flying to Australia. I didn’t know what to expect in D-Lux’s city but I knew it was going to be good.

  Philippines – The south