Blessedly Bound

by Lucretia Stanhope

  He looked at her and his forehead creased. “You're wet,” he said, and took off his coat, wrapping it around her. “You may not take my advice on other matters, but it's not wise to sit outside in the cold and wet this time of year.”

  She sniffled and walked with him back toward her truck. “I wanted to see where it happened.”

  “Understandable.”

  “I think Lenny had help, Curtis. If I can find out who or why, can you help me look into it?”

  Curtis snorted and opened the door on her truck. “I worked that case already ma'am. Are you going to tell me I got that one wrong too?”

  “I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry. I guess this place had me thinking irrationally,” she said, realizing she probably had been offending him with her insinuations that he was not doing his job right. “I'm really sorry.”

  He narrowed his eyes. “You've seen Lenny. Now you've seen this place. Save yourself the legwork and just ask me the next time you have questions, okay?”

  She agreed and he seemed happy with that. She gave him back his coat and watched as he walked away, getting back into his car. Once he was gone, Lewis flew over and shifted, getting in the truck.

  “I don't think he likes me,” Gwen said.

  “I got the feeling he did. He's been pretty patient with you I'd say.”

  She gave him an exasperated look. “Okay, whatever.”

  Once they were on the road, Lewis asked her what she saw and she told him everything in detail.

  “I think the hardest part was doing it. I felt the trigger pull. I felt the hatred and then the emptiness. It was a strange feeling. The man who shot him almost seemed to be hoping William would do or say something to stop him. He cared about William. Or so it seemed. He was hurt, angry, betrayed, and then once it was done there was nothing. He said they were family. Do you think it could have been a crazy love triangle? Maybe the man came back later and killed Lizzy because she never did love him?”

  “That is a whole lot of speculation. Hurt and betrayal could be over anything. Maybe a promotion, high school bully, and yes love. If they were family, then it could really be anything. Families bring out the worst in each other.”

  “I guess. I don't know what to do now. I don't want to watch it again, not like that, it was awful.”

  “Maybe the detective will have something helpful,” Lewis said, not really sure that would be the case.

  “It just makes me so angry to know that someone killed William, and has been free this whole time, while that man Lenny is in jail. He's not a bad person. I felt his soul.”

  “There has to be a reason he was willing to take the fall. I wouldn't write him off as being totally innocent yet.”

  “True, but Jesus, the person who did it probably killed Lizzy, and they are still free. They could still be in town. Lewis, they could be watching me now,” she said, her voice sounding more strained as she realized she could really be in danger.

  She pulled into the drive and they went inside. After she changed out of her wet clothes, she made something to eat and sat by the fire, thinking about what she had seen. She told Lewis again, every detail she could remember, trying to make sure she hadn't missed a clue.

  Chapter Nineteen

  G wen puzzled a bit more over what she saw, then called the prison and tried to get scheduled for a visit for Friday, the next day, to see Lenny again. The liaison told her that was too soon since all visits needed approved, and that they could schedule her for Monday. Gwen was frustrated, it would be approved, they both knew that, since she was on his list now, but the red tape still caused a delay. He knew who killed William, she knew that much for sure.

  “If there really is another person, one who actually pulled the trigger, maybe you shouldn't go back to the prison. Maybe you should let the detective find things out for you,” Lewis said, not liking the dangerous turn things had taken. He also worried that he still felt Fannie pulling at him. The thought of Gwen chasing killers around while he could still be called away, wasn't a good one.

  “Lewis, he knows. He was there, he spoke with them. He knows. I know he will tell me if I can make him believe that I won't tell anyone who told me.”

  “You said he was already edgy. Why don't you wait, see what the detective finds out and give that information to Curtis?”

  She sighed. “I'm going to at least try to talk to him. There is no guarantee that detective will find anything. Lenny can give me a name for sure.”

  They talked a little more and then she ate and paced the house, thinking about what she had seen. She couldn't shake the feeling of her finger pulling the trigger. The look on his face when William realized he was shot and the blood that soaked his shirt almost instantly was all heartbreaking. She even found the empty feeling the killer had to be painful. Every little bit of her life seemed to have that feeling. If she could just figure it out and get the justice her family deserved, maybe that would change.

  When she went for another walk after the sun went down, Lewis considered going to see Fannie, to see what sort of reassurances she needed, just to ease her off before things got too sticky there. He lingered at the house, finishing up his latest list of repairs, in case Gwen needed him though.

  Gwen found that walking her property was soothing, even in the frigid weather. It gave her a feeling that she was connecting somehow to Lizzy, going places she had gone. The sound of sticks under her feet and animals rustling started to wash away the emptiness that threatened to swallow her.

  She allowed her mind to drift to William. She could see him get out of his car and walk over to Lenny. He was warm and genuinely friendly. She puzzled over the emotions of the man in the woods. He felt betrayed. Gwen couldn't imagine what could have made him feel that way, considering the feelings she had about William. It had to be something personal, like a love triangle or family issue.

  The crunching under her feet stopped and the winds picked up, letting her know she wasn't protected by the trees anymore. She looked up, and saw the lake. Her lake. The lake where William built a gazebo for Lizzy, where they had been married. She walked over to the gazebo and ran her hands along the wood, trying to see if there was anything left behind, any emotions, or sensations. Happiness was there. Peace was there.

  After a minute stood looking over the water, she realized she either needed to move or make a fire. It was too cold to just stand there.

  As she walked toward the fire pit, she felt Sebastian and started to look at his side of the lake. He had said he came out there to paint at night.

  She stopped walking, wondering if she should start a fire and risk bothering his peaceful night, or just go home and find another way to relax herself.

  It was too dark to make out much, but she could feel him, and there were shadows that looked man-ish across the lake.

  The chill made up her mind for her as she decided even if it drew him over that would be okay. They would need to talk at some point. There was no way she was just going to forget about him. He invaded her thoughts daily, hourly.

  She waved a hand and felt heat surge from her fingertips. A bright white flashed and the wood that was in the pit burst into flames. She felt warmer instantly and stood rubbing her hands together, wondering again about William, and what could have been between him and this person that would warrant his death and Lizzy's.

  After she thought about it from every angle, with nothing triggering any revelations, she decided to walk toward his presence. The cool air wrapped her in doubt as she took the first few steps. Was now the best time for this? Was there any good time to ask a killer about how he kills? Why was her whole life revolving around death and killing? Sebastian had been the still waters in all the madness, now he was part of the madness. Could he ever be the still waters again?

  She could feel that she was getting closer. His presence replaced the cold air with a warm sensation. Even when she had been so cold to him he still protected her. She looked up to see him standing several feet away behin
d an easel.

  He wasn't painting; he was watching her. His eyes locked on her, almost beckoning her to take a few more steps.

  She did. The closer she got the more he hugged her in warmth.

  She paused just the other side of his easel, trying to figure out what exactly she was feeling. Honesty, she thought. That was what she could always count on from him. He deserved the same.

  “I'm still confused about how I feel, but I've missed you,” she said, and saw his expression soften.

  He watched her standing in front of him, radiating with a mix of astounding power and tragic vulnerability. “Would you like to come inside, talk, and warm up?”

  She hesitated a second and then waved her hand toward where she had come from, extinguishing the fire.

  He smiled at the sensation she sent out and then walked toward his house with her at his side.

  She didn't reach out for him and he let her have the space she needed while still wrapping her in his magic blanket.

  They were greeted at the back door by Yardley, who Sebastian instructed to start coffee for Gwen. As they started down the halls she felt herself tensing up. She wasn't even sure why. She didn't really think he would hurt her.

  Sebastian felt her apprehension and thought about the best way to allay that. “Tell me where you want to talk? We can go to your house with Lewis, if you like.”

  Did she want that? No, she didn't need chaperoned. Was that what she was afraid of? Not that he would hurt her, but that they would pick up where they left off. “No, here is fine,” she said, amazing herself with how firm, and assured she sounded. She knew he could probably sense that she wasn't, just like she could sense he was nervous about how it would go.

  She recognized the room they went to. The easel was gone, but she could still feel the passion that had been here, as well as the fear. She wondered why he chose there. “It feels like what happened here is still here,” she said as she walked over to the lounger, trying to decide if she wanted to sit or stand for now.

  “Yes, I've been in here a lot, thinking and feeling. It lingers. I wanted to feel it.”

  She walked over to the fire and watched the flames, not wanting to look in his eyes. They always had the same effect on her and tonight things needed to be serious and not passionate. “I need to ask you some hard things. Things I don't want to know, but that I think I might need to know.”

  “I understand.”

  She didn't look at him, but she felt him standing close. “I need to know about you feeding.”

  “I imagined that would be the case. I want you to know I never set out to hurt you, Gwen. If I had imagined what I felt for you would run so deep and be returned, I would have told you sooner.”

  She swallowed. What was he saying? She didn't want to think about that. Not now. Not until she had her answers. She didn't say anything, just waited for him to continue.

  “I do have to feed. I told you that. It isn't often. Not like humans turned by vampires, who feed every night or week. I can go months, close to a year before there is a need.”

  She rubbed her fingers together, put her hands in her pockets, and took a few deep breaths. “How do you decide who gets to live, and who has to die so that you can feed your curse?” Her voice sounded strained.

  “I try to do so with compassion. I don't pick someone who is happy, healthy, or has something to live for. I pick addicts, those desperate for release, the ill.”

  She turned to him, her eyes hard. “That is not for you to decide. What if they were a day away from cleaning up, getting well, finding a reason to live? How do you live with that?”

  She watched as he closed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair. It was one of the few times she saw him physically show that he was anything less than pulled together.

  “It isn't easy. It isn't pretty. I know it isn't my place to judge the value of one life over another. I do the best I can to make sure they are at the end of their path.”

  “How?”

  “I can read thoughts like any other vampire can.”

  “Before you steal their life, you violate their minds? Have you done that to me?”

  “No, Gwen, I wouldn't. I would never do that to you.”

  “Why? I am just a blood bag.”

  “You can't really think I see you as that. I don't see people as food, or simply as a resource.”

  She let her gaze drift back to the fire. “So, after you violate their mind, what do you do?”

  “Do you really want to know that?”

  “Yes.”

  After a few deep breaths, he continued. “I create a gentle reality for them, and once I know they are relaxed, I take them as painlessly as possible.”

  “Do they know? Do they struggle?”

  He sighed. “Yes, at times. Not all of them.”

  “They don't all want to die?”

  “I imagine most, in the last seconds, have doubts and fears.”

  “I don't understand how you can live with what you are. What you do. It seems against everything you portray yourself as.”

  “It is.” His voice was barely above a whisper.

  “Does what you are have anything to do with your witch? The one you lost?” She regretted asking when she felt the air in the room thin.

  Sebastian looked at the fire, struggling to breathe, blood tears started to roll down his cheeks.

  “I'm sorry,” she said, and reached for his face to wipe them away.

  He stopped her, holding her hand. “You must never touch my blood.”

  She looked to her hand in his and then pulled it away. “I'm sorry. We can talk about that later. I should leave you to finish your painting now.”

  “If you must. I have nothing more pressing than making things right with you.”

  “You say that like it can be right. The best we can hope for is to be friends again. I can’t love you like that, not anymore. You kill people. You kill people and your heart belongs in the past with your witch.” As her words floated in the air she realized that might be as big a problem as him killing. She could see herself in his arms even knowing he was a monster, but she couldn't give her heart to him when he loved someone else.

  “It's not as you think. Gwen, I didn't love her like that. I've never loved like that. As a familiar I could not feel human love. What I felt, what I feel with you is different.”

  “Words. How can you love? You are a familiar, you are also a monster.”

  “If it is just words, then I hope we can string them into a sentence that will never end.”

  “No. Those are just more words. I need to think about what you've said. You kill people. I just can't look away and pretend you don't.”

  “Take as much time as you need. Gwen, I do love you. I will be here however I can, in whatever role you wish. Even if that role is to leave you the hell alone. Your happiness is what matters to me.”

  Her eyes met his and they locked together. She felt that same tension that was always there. She wanted to wrap her arms around his waist and let his embrace shield her from every awful thing, but he was part of the awful things. When she felt the heat between them start to intensify, she looked away.

  “I saw William die,” she said flatly.

  “Oh, sweetheart,” he said, and took a step, but stopped himself. “I'm sorry you had to see that.”

  She told him about what she saw, the appointment with Lenny Monday, and the detective.

  “You've been busy. I hope you are taking care of yourself. Did you need me to take any grief from you?”

  “No, I'm fine. I've had to stay busy. It's the only way I don't think about you all day.”

  He loved her frankness since the first time they spoke. “I'm sorry I've troubled your mind.”

  “We seem to have both added to each other’s burden. I hope we can at least fix that much.”

  “I know we can, mi belleza,” he said, and reached for her face.

  She reached up and took his hand. “No, not yet.�
��

  “Let me see you safely home at least.” He gave her as best a smile as he could. The talk hadn't gone as good as he had hoped, but she had listened and that was better than things had been.

  He suggested they take his car, but she wanted to walk. He enjoyed the walk because she kept her hand laced in his, her fingers gently caressing his.

  Deep down he felt that things were going to be as they should be, in time. Time was something he had.

  While they walked, they talked about all she found out, and puzzled over people who it could have been.

  It didn't escape him that her poking around put her in more danger. There was still Fannie to consider as well. The bond he discussed with Lewis was still the best option, but since they had just started out on shaky ground again, he didn't think tonight would be a good night to suggest it. Tonight he would keep her warm, hold her hand and be the friend she desperately needed.

  Lewis greeted them when they walked in. Again, he was torn between a need for Sebastian, and a distaste for him and Gwen as a thing.

  They sat together for a while, making idle chatter before Gwen decided she needed to go to bed.

  After a long silence, Lewis shifted and perched behind Sebastian. “Is all well now?”

  “Not yet,” Sebastian said. “I take comfort that it will be.”

  If Lewis were in his man form, he knew he would have rolled his eyes. Instead, he just assumed Sebastian could feel what he thought about that. “Fannie is still tugging at me. I think I need to go see what she needs. I can placate her for a little longer probably.”

  “That is not a good idea.”

  “No, it isn't best, but we can't have Gwen chasing murderers and fighting voodoo as well. How about we work together to make this as easy on her as possible?”

  “I can't make the charm any stronger. I may have trained under her, but she certainly didn't teach me all she knows and she is undoubtedly stronger than I am as a voodoo practitioner.”

  “Which is why I need to go see her.”

  “She will strengthen whatever she has done. She won't want you to be able to resist. What if she does something I can't counter with a charm?”