Until My Heart Stops Beating

by Tonya M Barber

  ~*~

  The following morning Makeba showered Declan in wet kisses waking him from his sleep. He opened his eyes smiling. Her morning wakeup call was like a cool breeze blowing in his face on a 102 degree summer day. He pulled her down into his arms as they giggled, rolling from one side of the bed to the other exchanging soft kisses.

  He gazed deep in her eyes as she lay on him. “I wish you didn’t have to leave so soon.”

  “I wish I didn’t have to either but I do,” she replied planting one last kiss on his lips before getting up.

  He pulled her back down on top of him. “You know I can take care of you right? You don’t have to work.”

  She giggled. “As much as I appreciate the offer, I have to decline. I’m very capable of taking care of myself. I don’t need a prince to rescue me.”

  “I didn’t say you did. Look, I’m kind of a traditional guy. I want to be able to provide for my family.”

  “And that’s commendable. It really is but I don’t need you to take care of me,” she snapped getting up from the bed.

  He followed suit. “What do you make a week?”

  “Why?”

  “Ball park,” he said grabbing her hands, “what, about 3, 4, 500 dollars?”

  “Sometimes more sometimes less. It depends on the day, month and time of year. All are factors in determining how much I take home.”

  “Ok, I will deposit $500 a week in your account plus, provide you with credit card to any store your heart desires and give you a quarterly increase?”

  “I’m not Julia Roberts and you’re not Richard Gere. This is not a scene from Pretty Woman. I don’t need you to rescue me.”

  “Makeba, that is not what I am insinuating dammit! I just think it’s my responsibility to take care of my family.”

  Her eyebrows furrowed. “Did you go back in time? This is 2014 you know.”

  She snatched her hands from his grasp and walked away.

  “Makeba, do not walk away from me when we’re having a conversation.”

  She stopped abruptly. “Excuse me?” she snarled through clenched teeth.

  “I think it’s rude for you to walk away when we’re having a discussion.”

  “It may have started as a discussion but now it’s an argument Declan, and right now I have no time to get into this with you. I have a flight to catch,” she said as she resumed walking. She stopped again before entering the bathroom. “You have another thing coming if you think I’m going to relinquish my independence to you. I haven’t had to depend on anybody since I was 16 and I’ll be damned if I start now. I’m keeping my job.”

  “For now I’ll accept that but when we bring children into the mix, I’ll expect you to be a stay at home mom. Working outside the home will be unacceptable.”

  Did he say what she thought he said? Nah, couldn’t have. She was hearing things, she was sure of it. She frowned, turned on her heels and crossed the room standing toe to toe with him. If her eyes were a bow the glare from them would have shot a poison arrow right in the middle of his forehead. That’s how angry she was.

  “We’ve been engaged for not even a whole week yet and you’re already making demands? Are you serious? Do you really think you can control me? I’m a grown woman Declan in case you’ve missed it. I don't need your approval or disapproval for anything I do. Who do you think you are?”

  “Your fiancé, soon to be husband, that’s who I am.”

  She shook her head. She was livid. How dare he make demands on her. Yes, he was her fiancé but that didn’t give him the right to control her life. That quick he had flipped a switch, turning into someone she wasn’t so sure about. She hadn’t had many relationships but of the few she did have, a deal breaker was a man with control issues. She had little tolerance for someone deciding things for her as if she couldn't decide for herself. Declan was crossing the line, a very thin line. She wasn’t on his employee roster nor was she a child of his. She was his future wife.

  “That just might be an arrangement I need to reconsider after this mess,” she hissed.

  He ogled her. “What mess?”

  “Thinking you have the right to dictate to me what I will and will not do. You don’t own me,” she shouted.

  “Own you? Own you? Well where the hell did that come from? I was merely trying to be the man I was raised to be. I’m a man, a real standup guy and you’re not going to take that away from me.”

  It was no use. Talking to him was only making her more frustrated. She was like a boiling pot with a lid on top. It wouldn’t take much more before the steam eventually blew the top off and put some heat to his behind. She had been upset with him before but not to this magnitude. For the first time she wanted to cut him to shreds with her words. She had to end it before it got out of hand and she said some things she wouldn’t be able to take back, so instead of continuing to argue with him, she walked away. He hurried behind her only to be stopped by a slamming door inches away from his face.

  Declan was incensed. So much so, he punched the door with his fist. He frowned at the throbbing pain he was experiencing. Her stubbornness was no secret. He was fully aware of how feisty and bullheaded she could be but he was just as headstrong. For the life of him he couldn’t grasp why she was making it such an issue. Any other woman would have jumped at the chance to stay home but no, not her, not Miss Independent.

  He shook his hand trying to shake off the little bit of pain he was still feeling in his hand. He stormed over to the sofa and sat down. A million thoughts ran through his mind. The last 24 hours was monstrous. First, the disappointment in the behavior of his family towards her, then the fact that she almost left without so much as a goodbye, now this. This was the biggest disagreement they’ve had thus far but he was sure it wouldn’t be their last.

  Declan began to simmer down from his heated anger. Little by little common sense started to return. She would be leaving soon and they would be separated for about a week before he’d be able to lay eyes on her again. He couldn’t let her leave angry or wonder if she had made the right choice when choosing him. He had to make things right before she returned to Newark.

  Ten minutes later the bathroom door opened. Declan charged at Makeba like he was a bull going after the matador. He backed her up against the wall. She tried putting up a fight but to no avail. He was too strong for her. She slapped him across the face thinking it would get him to back up. No such luck. Her actions had the opposite effect than what she desired. All it did was cause his cheek to turn beet red from the sting of her hit. She pushed him. Not one step from where he stood did he move. She tussled with him. That didn’t work either. All her efforts to get him away from her was in vain.

  Declan became more aggressive with her. He grabbed hold of her arms slamming them against the wall above her head. It wasn’t in a way to hurt her but to let her know he was in charge. He pressed against her leaving no space whatsoever between his body and the wall behind her. Leaning in, he attempted to kiss her. She turned her head in resistance. This did nothing but turn him on. He put a little more weight against her body, locked her arms above her head with one arm and gripped her jaw with the other steadying it as he covered her mouth with his forcing her into a kiss whether she wanted it or not. He moved from her lips down her neck to her chest. He freed her arms so he could have the liberty of doing what he wanted to do next.

  He ripped open her blouse causing the small white buttons to pop off and fall onto the floor rolling to God only knows where. After pushing her bra up exposing her dark erect nipples, he latched on to one as if he was a week old suckling kitten. As he rotated from one to the other, she tried to fight him again so he positioned her arms above her head once more then returned to her bare-naked breast. He resumed sucking and kissing on them until she became weak in the knees but still trying to wiggle free nonetheless. Her actions only fueled his hunger, his need, his raging desire to have her, all of her at that moment.

  Unable to move, Makeba glared at him,
her eyes filled with anger. He saw it but it had no effect on him at all. He didn’t care how upset she was with him. He wasn’t angry with her and his actions proved it.

  He raised his head to kiss her. Parting her lips with his tongue, he exploring every inch of her mouth in an effort to satisfy an insatiable hunger that increased with every passing moment. He ran his hand to the split in her skirt ripping it letting it fall to the floor. He turned her around forcing her to face the wall. He began kissing her neck, her shoulders and her back. Using his knees, he separated her legs giving him full access to her jewel box. He pushed her lace underwear to the side.

  “This is what I was looking for,” he whispered in her ear, moaning as he slid his finger inside her wetness.

  Makeba almost buckled at the knees. Fight? What fight? The only fight she was in was with herself trying to keep from losing all self-control. She lost that fight when he inserted another finger and increased his speed. The way she was feeling was making it difficult to stand on her own two feet. Self-control? What was that? It was gone. She lost it a finger ago. Where did this man come from? She thought. She didn’t know and she didn’t care. She just wanted to enjoy the ride on the magic blanket he was taking her on.

  Declan replaced his finger with his erect penis. She gasped as the tip fought its way inside her love tunnel. There was a slight discomfort because she was tight. It didn’t last long at all. Declan pumped her from behind like a wild animal in heat. He tried to calm down, take things a little slow, and add a little gentleness. Despite his efforts, it couldn’t be done. He had an uncontrollable desire for her like a vampire on a hunt for virgin blood at feeding time. He needed better access. Her underwear caused him to feel restricted. Trying to get deeper inside her would require the removal of them, not just pushing them to the side but he didn’t have time to properly take them off. Noticing his agitation, she attempted to assist by reaching her hand to the back in an effort to help him get them off. He didn’t need any assistance though. In no time those too became shredded material that had fallen to the floor at her feet.

  Gently, he pushed her toward the bed, bent her over, then entered her once again. His eyes rolled to the back of his head. She felt so good, too good. She was no longer a choice, she had become a habit, an addiction that was spiraling out of control.

  Makeba grabbed a fistful of covers squeezing them tight. What was he doing to her? He increased his speed putting his back into it. She cried out in pleasure. Neither of them had travelled to such heights before, not this high, not this place. They stumbled upon uncharted territory. There was no way to describe it. In the simplest terms, it was more than amazing.

  He gripped her around the waist tighter as she buried her face in the mattress. It was the only thing she could do to stifle her screams. If she were to release them into the atmosphere surely the police would be summoned to their room by a concerned caller. Declan moved harder, going deeper and her actions met his. Together they exploded. Totally spent, Makeba released her hold of the blankets and was unable to move. She laid in the same position trying to bring her heart rate down to normal and steady her breathing pattern. Declan was so depleted of energy that he collapsed on top of her.

  They were silently wondering was there anything better than what they had just experienced together.

  I Won’t Be There

  Makeba had an hour before she’d have to board her flight. Declan was sitting beside her. Not many words were exchanged between them since they left the hotel. Declan’s words echoed in her ear over and over again. Some may think that she was making too much of an issue out of the discussion they had earlier but not her. To her, independence was important. Since she was a young girl, she was taught the importance of that characteristic. If she caved in to his demands, what else will he try to change about her?

  “Is something wrong?”

  Breaking from her deep thoughts she glanced at him. “No.”

  He grabbed her hand. “I know-“

  His phone rang before he could finish his sentence. He looked at the screen. It was Granny Whitaker. Declan raised an eyebrow, puzzled as to why she would be calling him. Silently, he prayed there was nothing wrong and she was calling to say hello. He answered the call right before it went to voicemail. All he said was hello before handing the phone to Makeba.

  “Here, it’s granny. She wants to speak with you.”

  She was surprised, but happy. ‘Hello.”

  Imagine my surprise when I found out you were returning home today. They don’t do goodbyes where you come from?”

  A slight smile spread across her lips. “Oh Granny Whitaker I am so sorry.”

  “Don’t be sorry dear, just don’t do it again. I wanted to bid you farewell and I’m hoping you took what I’ve shared with you into consideration. Safe travels my dear. Hope to see you again.”

  “You will.”

  “I think so. Goodbye child.”

  “Goodbye Granny Whitaker.”

  Makeba ended the call then handed the phone back to Declan.

  “Why are you smiling?” He asked curiously.

  “She is such a sweetheart.”

  He chuckled. “Yes she is. She adores you.”

  “Yea, I know and the feeling is mutual.”

  The boarding of her flight was announced over the intercom. She picked up her purse and grabbed her rolling bag.

  Sadness overcame Declan. “I’m missing you already.”

  “Me too,” she replied as she rose up on her tiptoes and kissed him. It was as if it was never ending. Neither wanted to let go of the other but they had to. Her flight was leaving and she couldn’t miss it. She had to return to work in the morning. Reluctantly, they pulled back putting space between them.

  “I love you.”

  She gazed at him as if he was the last man standing.

  “Oh yea,” she asked.

  “Yea.”

  “For how long?”

  He put his hand over his heart. “Until my heart stops beating.”

  ~*~

  The next day was business as usual. It was Monday, a slow day which she didn’t mind at all. The way she was feeling she wouldn’t have cared if she had one customer all day. Although her visit to Chicago ended on a good note, she couldn’t get the conversation she had with Declan the previous day out of her mind. She needed to talk to someone and the only person available at the moment was Rasheeda.

  Makeba gave Rasheeda an edited rundown of what had happened over the weekend. Upon hearing about how her less than convivial reception at the Whitaker’s house, Rasheeda became incensed and belligerent, speaking ill of Declan because of the treatment Makeba received. All the yelling and cussing was giving Makeba a headache. It also angered her. She felt that it was alright for her to make negative remarks about Declan, but, hell if she would allow anyone else to do so, she earned the right since she was in a relationship with him but she wasn’t going to sit there and allow anyone else to do it, no matter who they were. She appreciated Rasheeda’s concern but she didn’t confide in her to obtain criticism about Declan. She was hoping for once her friend wouldn't act like a woman scorned, and offer sound advice for a change. That didn’t happen. Rasheeda still harbored angry feelings for men. She didn’t have great relationships and according to her all men were good for was a quick fix when in need and a bankroll. To her they weren’t worth anything more than that.

  She shook her head then excused herself from the table. Her break was over anyway. She had enough on her mind without Rasheeda’s added negativity. Her issue with Declan had very little to do with his family but a lot to do with the work situation. On second thought, that wasn’t the whole truth. His family’s treatment of her had a great deal to do with it. It only added to her frustration. How could she marry this man and be a part of his family when they didn’t like her; not because she had done anything wrong but because she had too much melanin in her skin. She thought about taking her concerns to her parents but her relationship with he
r dad was already strained and she had not yet told them that she was getting married.

  Over the next couple of days Makeba’s concerns grew less about Declan and more about how she was going to break the news to her parents. Her conversations with Declan were getting more and more intense. The longer she waited to tell her parents about her impending marriage the more disappointed he became with her.

  She went to her room, sat on the edge of the bed then her phone rang. It was Declan. A smile spread across her lips as she answered.

  “Hello.”

  “Hello honey. How was your day?”

  “Mine was fine. How was yours?’

  “My day hasn’t been good at all.”

  She grew concerned. “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m missing you something terrible.”

  “Ditto.”

  There was something different in her voice. No matter how cheerful she tried to sound she couldn’t mask the sadness. He felt it. For a few seconds it was silence between them. She dreaded the question she knew he would soon ask and silently prayed that this would be one day that he wouldn’t ask it. At the same time he fought the urge to question her knowing what her response would be and he wasn’t going to be happy about it.

  Unable to hold out any longer he asked, “Did you tell your parents yet?”

  She removed the phone from her ear, lowered her head and took a deep breath. She exhaled slowly. I knew it was too good to be true, she thought. She returned the phone to her ear.

  “No, not yet.”

  He sighed. He was upset. There was no reason for her not to have informed them by now. What was she waiting for? Was she ashamed of him? Was she afraid of her father’s reaction to the news? Could it be possible she only accepted his proposal because she didn’t want to hurt his feelings and not because she wanted to be his wife? All sorts of scenarios were going through his mind.