Until My Heart Stops Beating

by Tonya M Barber

  “It’s a little complicated right now,” she added breaking the silence.

  She knew he was upset. His silence was evidence of that.

  “I’m a complication now?”

  “No, I did not say that.”

  “So what are you saying?” he snapped.

  “Don’t yell at me,” she retorted.

  “Why the big secret? Why is it so difficult for you to tell your daddy you are getting married?”

  “It’s complicated Declan,” she yelled. I will tell him when the time is right. I promise.”

  “I don’t believe you.”

  “Please, not today. Let’s not argue about this. Please.”

  “Who’s arguing? I’m merely trying to figure out why my damn fiancé has an issue telling her parents something that’s supposed to be good news. I had no problem telling my family.’

  “I bet that went over well,” she said sarcastically.

  “I don’t give a damn whether they accept you or not. You’re not marrying them, you’re marrying me. I told them as a courtesy not because I was seeking approval. I can live without that. Can you?”

  “Can I what?”

  “Can you stand up to your daddy and tell him you’re going to be my wife or are you a puppet on a string that only talks and moves at his control and in ways that are pleasing to him only?”

  “How dare you.”

  “Answer this question for me Makeba.”

  “Ask.”

  “Why did you accept my proposal?”

  “Because I love you and I want to be your wife.”

  “Then prove it.”

  She let out an exasperated breath. “I will tell my parents we’re getting married Declan.

  “When hell freezes over!”

  Makeba jumped dropping the phone on the floor as she glanced in the doorway. “Daddy.”

  He entered her room. “You are not going to marry him.”

  “I am dad.”

  He shook his head. “What’s the matter, there weren’t any good black men available?’

  “There are plenty, but the man I love happens to be white.”

  He approached her gripping her shoulders. “Do you have any idea the problems you’ll encounter? People aren’t as readily acceptable to interracial marriages as you may think.”

  Hearing his words was like ‘déjà vu’. Declan had echoed those same words in Chicago.

  “I know dad but I don’t care about them, I care about you. It would mean the world to me if I had your blessing daddy,” she said as her eyes watered.

  He took a few steps back shaking his head. “I can’t.” He turned on his heels and walked towards the door.

  “Daddy, please,” she cried. “I need you to be happy for me. I couldn’t imagine walking down the aisle without you.”

  His eyes were red and filled with tears. “Then don’t.’

  “But I love him.”

  “And I love you,” he yelled. “I don’t approve of this now and I never will. If you go through with this foolishness don’t expect me to be there.”

  “Don’t you want me to be happy?

  “That’s just it. You won’t be Makeba. There will be places you won’t be able to go even in this day and age, there will be people that will say harsh things to you, there will be some who will be so against your relationship that they’ll try to hurt you and then there’s Mr. Declan himself. How long will it be before he gets angry enough to call you a nigger, or a black bitch?”

  “He wouldn’t do that. He loves me.”

  “Does he? Or is it the idea of you he loves so much?”

  “I never thought of you as a racist. You have Caucasian friends.”

  “But none of them are trying to marry my damn daughter. I’m not racist. Call it personal preference. I just think they should marry their own,” he stated as a matter of fact and walked out.

  “Daddy! Daddy!” she cried but her tears were in vain. He never once looked back.

  Makeba was appalled and deeply hurt by her father’s response to the news of her and Declan’s engagement. In her mind he was no different from Shelly Whitaker. She lay on her bed in a fetal position bawling, unbeknownst to her that Declan was still on the line listening to the verbal exchange that had taken place between her and her father a few seconds ago.

  ~*~

  Declan felt awful. Makeba was hurting and he was too far away to comfort her but that was about to change. He called Ashley, his secretary of seven years and told her to reschedule his last meeting for the day and book him a flight to Newark. A few minutes later Ashley barged into his office to inform him that everything was taken care of. Soon after, he called Makeba. She still sounded upset. He informed her that he was catching a flight to Newark and would be there in a couple of hours. He also informed her that there will be a room booked for them under Mr. And Mrs. Whitaker at the Marriott on Broad Street downtown Newark. She told him she would meet him there. He ended the call, gathered his belongings and left, kissing Ashley on the cheek on his way out.

  Two and a half hours later Declan was unlocking the door to his hotel room with his key card. He was hoping that Makeba was already there. When he opened the door he dropped his bags and opened his arms as she rushed into them. From the looks of her puffy eyes it looked as if she had cried all day. He cradled her in his arms as she began to cry some more. He wanted so badly to take her pain away especially since he couldn’t help but feel somewhat responsible for what she was going through. Had it not been for him pressuring her to tell her parents about their engagement, she wouldn’t be in this predicament.

  Taking a few steps back, he gazed into her eyes and said, “Honey, I am so sorry. I never meant for this to happen.”

  She sauntered over to the sofa. “I didn’t think it would be this bad.”

  He sat down beside her. “Makeba, I would never make you choose between your father and me. I would not be upset if you change your mind. I want you to be happy.”

  She looked at him inquisitively. “Are you having second thoughts?”

  He quickly grabbed her up in his arms. “Never baby. Never! You are my life,” he replied then he covered her mouth with his in a short but sweet kiss.

  She took a deep breath in relief. “My dad and I will work this out. I know we will.”

  “Yes,” he agreed.

  Declan rose from the sofa pulling her up with him. He suggested that she take a hot shower. She agreed. While he had some free time he called guest services inquiring about entertainment in the area. They told him that there was an opera tonight at NJ Pac. He asked if they could get him two tickets for tonight. The guest service agent promised him she would try but she couldn’t guarantee anything since it was last minute. He thanked her then hung up.

  An opera would be great, he thought. To see an opera was one of the things that was on her things to do list. It would be awesome if the guest service agent could work her magic and get those tickets.

  A few minutes later, the guest services agent called back with good news. She was able to get balcony seats. He was ecstatic. He asked her name. She told him her name was Jennifer. He wrote it down so he wouldn’t forget. He would surely reward her for her efforts before he checked out. The only problem now was finding Makeba something to wear. He always traveled with dress and casual attire so he had a suit with him. Makeba on the other hand he wasn’t sure about.

  Declan knocked on the bathroom door.

  “I’ll be out in a minute,” she yelled.

  He moved his mouth closer. “Did you happen to bring something dressy?”

  She opened the door. “I brought a black dress and shawl just in case you wanted to go out for dinner. Why?” she asked as she strutted past him.

  “I figured you could use a night out. He looked at his watch. We have approximately forty five minutes to get ready. I’ll go shower while you get dressed.”

  Smiling, she inquired, “Where are you taking me?”

  “I am not telling
you. You’ll have to wait and see.”

  “Ok,” she replied.

  He ogled her grabbing both sides of her face in his hands. “This is how I like to see you. All smiles,” he said before kissing her gently on the lips. “I love you.”

  “Ditto Mr. Whitaker.”

  He chortled as he walked away.

  ~*~

  Makeba was on cloud nine. Dinner at Nikko’s was great but the opera was nothing short of amazing. It was all she expected it to be and then some. Declan had definitely turned her frown upside down. This outing was what she needed to get her mind off of the fight she had with her father.

  They stood outside of NJPAC waiting for the arrival of their car. It was a black Lincoln Town Car provided by the hotel. Makeba stood alongside of him with her arm under his still smiling. Her smile was so infectious he couldn’t help but let one spread across his face as well.

  “I take it you enjoyed the show.”

  She gazed up at him. “Very much so. It was even better than I had expected it to be.”

  “I’m glad honey.”

  Declan reached in his pocket for his phone. “Where the hell is the car?” he asked dialing the number to the hotel.

  Makeba gently took the phone out of his hand. “It’s such a beautiful night and we’re actually in walking distance of the hotel. Let's enjoy a stroll under the starry skies.”

  “I’d be delighted to dear.,” he smiled.

  He held her hand as they began to walk towards their destination.

  “Either we’re crazy or deeply in love. We have to be one of them to be walking the streets of Newark at eleven-thirty at night.”

  Makeba chuckled. “Well, we’re not crazy and I don’t care what time it is. I feel safe when I’m with you.”

  Her words made him feel like a million dollar man.

  Makeba stopped abruptly.

  “What’s wrong?”

  She sat on one of the benches in Washington Park, a small park not too far from NJPac.

  Facing him, she asked, “Declan, why do you want to marry me?”

  His forehead creased as he frowned. “What kind of question is that?”

  She lowered her gaze. “I just want to know, that’s all.”

  He lifted her chin for eye contact. “I want to marry you because I am at my best when we’re together. You make me feel like I can conquer the world. There has not been a time in my life when I was as happy as I am when I’m with you. You complete me. Now that I have you I can’t envision a life without you in it. Makeba, I don’t want you, I need you.”

  She became emotional. His words were like lyrics from a beautiful country love song. He stood, pulling her up by the hands and into his arms.

  “You have become the reason I look forward to tomorrow.”

  She pressed her head against his chest as her teardrops stained his suit jacket.

  “Damn sister it’s like that?”

  They both looked in the direction where those words came from. It was a tall dark-skinned guy with dreadlocks and he wasn’t alone. From their appearance they were from the streets. Whatever desires Makeba had to respond went out the window. These guys were looking for trouble and she didn’t want to give them a reason to start any.

  “I’m saying,” said the second shorter man with a close crop haircut, “damn ma you couldn’t find a brotha to hit that?”

  “I’m sure she could have but she found me instead,” Declan boasted.

  “Mother fucker who’s talking to you?” dreadlocks asked hurrying toward them with his partner on his heels.

  Declan pushed Makeba behind him. As if on cue a patrol car pulled up. Two officers exited the vehicle, one male and the other female. The female officer rested her hands on her gun belt while the man shone his flashlight in everyone’s face. They asked if there was a problem. Declan was getting ready to say yes but Makeba cut him off and assured the officers that everything was fine. The male officer did not believe her but there was nothing he could do but take her word for it then ordered everyone to disperse.

  Declan and Makeba began strutting to the hotel not bothering to look where the two men they exchanged words with had gone. They didn’t care. They just wanted to return to the hotel without further incident.

  Just as she had hoped, they made it back to the hotel safely. Makeba went into the bathroom to freshen up. She had such a wonderful evening thanks to Declan and she wanted to thank him properly. When she came out of the bathroom he was still on his computer. She crossed the room to join him.

  “What are you doing?"

  He glanced at her then turned his attention back to his laptop. “Oh, something came up at work.”

  She didn’t want to disturb him any further by complaining even though she was disappointed. “Ok,” she said sadly walking away.

  Picking up on the tone of her voice, he jumped up from the sofa and hurried behind her grabbing her arm. She turned to face him.

  “I’m so sorry babe. I would like nothing more than to join you right now but I have something to take care of. I promise when I’m done I’ll join you.”

  She kissed him on the lips and walked away.

  Shifting herself trying to get comfortable, she ran her hands over the other half of the bed only to discover it was empty. She glanced at her phone. It was 3:30 am. Rising from the bed groggily, she yawned as she continued her stride. When she reached the seating area she observed Declan asleep on the couch with his laptop still on. She shook him vigorously in an effort to wake him. After multiple attempts he finally opened his eyes.

  “Declan, come to bed.”

  He sat up wiping the sleep from his eyes. “Gosh, I must have been really tired.”

  “Yes,” she replied grabbing his hand and leading him into their sleeping quarter.

  They crawled under the covers. In no time they were sleeping peacefully in the comfort of each other’s arms.

  The next morning Declan was dressed ready to start his day. He waited patiently for Makeba to wake up on her own but she was taking a little too long. He sat on the edge of the bed beside her but didn’t wake her up right away. He wanted to look at her for a few moments. Even in her sleep he found her simply breathtaking. As if being next to her on the edge of the bed wasn’t close enough, he laid down on his right side. With his elbow bent upward and the side of his face nestled in his hand, he ogled the woman who stole his heart.

  Makeba opened her eyes and smiled at the sight of him gazing at her while she slept. “Good morning handsome.”

  “Good morning beautiful. I was about to wake you up sleepy head.”

  “Why didn’t you?”

  “I couldn’t bring myself to disturb something so picturesque. You were like a Nubian Queen peacefully sleeping on a bed of roses waiting for your prince charming to kiss and awaken you.”

  She became emotional hearing such beautiful words escape his lips. “Then you should have kissed me awake my prince.”

  She smiled as a lone tear rolled down her cheek.

  “You’re right. I should have and since you’re already awake I hope the opportunity to kiss you has not passed me by.”

  She gazed into his eyes. “Never.”

  He leaned down covering her lips with his. “I’ve been waiting on you all morning,” he said interrupting their lip lock while suddenly changing the mood.

  She sat up against the headboard. “Why, where are we going?”

  “It’s a surprise,” he replied standing to his feet pulling her up by the hands. “You think you can cut your shower down to ten minutes? I know how long you like to stay in there.”

  She chuckled. “What’s the urgency?”

  “You’ll see when we reach our destination. Now go!”

  She walked towards the bathroom. “Ouch!” she shouted at the sting of Declan’s hand smacking her on the butt.

  Fifteen minutes later Makeba was still in the bathroom. He knocked on the door. “Honey, we have to go.”

  Opening the door a lit
tle agitated, “Ok, I’m ready.”

  “Well let’s go then,” he countered.

  He grabbed her by the arm with one hand, picked her purse off the chair with the other, and escorted her out the door. Once downstairs they got in an awaiting Lincoln. They drove for about twenty five minutes before Declan asked her to close her eyes. She did as she was told without question. After her eyes were shut he took a handkerchief out of his pocket, covered her eyes with it, and tied it in the back securing it in place.

  Once the driver came to a complete stop. He got out and walked to the passenger side to open the door. Declan exited the vehicle first then assisted Makeba out. She didn’t know what the hell Declan was doing but decided to go along with the game anyway. The driver closed the door behind them. She heard Declan thank him. She could also hear paper rattling and the driver saying thank you right afterwards which led her to believe that Declan had tipped him. He grabbed hold of her arm and guided her a few paces from where they were standing.

  “I’m going to remove the blindfold from your eyes but I want you to keep them closed until I tell you to open them. Agreed?”

  Nodding her head she replied, “Agreed.”

  He removed the handkerchief. “Open your eyes.”

  She opened her eyes unable to respond to what she was looking at. She was awestruck. After taking a few steps forward, she covered her mouth with her hands.

  “It’s for you.”

  She studied his face for a few minutes with her mouth agape. He chuckled at her expression. He had done well. It was written all over her face. She burst out crying as she wrapped her arms tightly around him. There was no words for what he had done. He held onto her ecstatic that he was able to make her happy as well as speechless. The sales associates all looked on touched by the joy Makeba was experiencing. One approached her dangling the keys. She raised her head from Declan’s chest and held out her hands to receive the them. Finally finding her voice she asked, “For me?” wiping the tears from her eyes.

  He gazed at her lovingly as a smile spread across his lips. “For you baby.”

  Strolling around the black 2014 Nissan Murano Crosscabriolet convertible, she traced the driver’s side door with her fingertips. Declan took the keys from her hand and opened the door. “Get in,” he said.