Our Fragile Hearts

by Buffy Andrews

  “I thought about law school once,” I told her. “My philosophy professor said I had a mind for law.”

  “Well, now you have hands for Pledge. Keep working. I want to be out of here by three, when my waitressing shift starts.”

  I was grateful I could go home when we finished cleaning and didn’t have to go to another job like Amy.

  My mood matched the dreary weather. The fog hung like a heavy curtain. I’d hoped it would part and the sun would peek through by the time Piper came home from school. She’d been looking forward to climbing Mary’s tree. To be honest, I was, too.

  I have to admit, raising Piper allowed me to be a kid again. I didn’t have much of a childhood and I sort of felt as if I was getting a second chance. When I did things with her I’d get to taste a sweet slice of childhood that I’d missed. And it wasn’t always big and important things. In fact, most times it wasn’t. They were simple things, like making hot chocolate from scratch instead of opening a packet and pouring it into a cup of hot water that you’ve microwaved. Or building a tent out of blankets in the living room and eating dinner inside. Thinking about the tent made me smile. One time we left it up for an entire week.

  I dusted the photos hanging in the hallway outside of the conference room. They appeared to be the founding partners. One of the photos looked familiar and it took me a few seconds to place him. He was Mary’s husband. I’d seen the same photo hanging on the wall in the parlor. He looked to be in his sixties. He was bald on top and the hair on either side of his head was cut short and sprinkled with gray. His eyebrows were bushy and he had a sharp nose. I know you shouldn’t judge a person by their photo, but he looked like the type of man who would be really uptight. All prim and proper.

  “I think we’re about done,” said Janice, the other regular. She walked over to me. “I appreciate your help today. Went a lot faster with the extra hands.”

  I smiled. “Thanks. I’m always looking for work so if you need me again, let me know.”

  Janice rubbed her nose. “Annie says you’re taking care of your kid sister.”

  I nodded.

  “That’s nice. I have two kids. They’re in high school. Two girls. Boy, do they have attitudes.”

  I listened as Janice recounted the scene from that morning, which involved one of her daughters coming down for breakfast dressed like “a hooker.”

  “Her top was tight and too small. Her boobs looked as if they were going to pop out and you could see her belly button. I made her put on a sweater and you’d have thought I’d asked her to cut off her arm. I told her I had to work today and I wasn’t dealing with the school sending her home because she was dressed inappropriately.”

  By that time Amy had joined us and she shared her horror stories of raising girls, now young mothers themselves. “It does get better,” she said. “I remember fighting all the time with my girls when they were teens. I thought we’d kill each other. It wasn’t until they were in their mid-twenties that I liked them. Don’t get me wrong. I always loved them, just didn’t like them until they got older and became humans again.”

  As I listened I thought about Piper. I couldn’t imagine having the types of fights these ladies described having with their girls. I know I fought with Mom all the time, but there was a reason for that. It wasn’t because I wore jeans with holes in them to school. Mom was the one who dressed inappropriately and acted like a belligerent teen. I was the parent, the one left picking up the pieces.

  By the time I picked Piper up from school, the clouds had parted and the sun was peeking through.

  I opened the back door and Piper tossed her backpack on the seat before climbing in. I buckled her in. “How was your day?”

  She opened her mouth so wide a softball could have fitted inside.

  “You lost a tooth!”

  She nodded. “Jacy helped. She wiggled it until it came out.”

  The image of Jacy’s little fingers wiggling Piper’s tooth made me want to gag. “It’s probably not a good thing to have Jacy’s fingers in your mouth. That’s how germs spread.”

  “What are germs?”

  “A microorganism, uh. Things that can make you sick.”

  I closed Piper’s door and climbed behind the wheel, pulling out of the parking lot when the traffic cop dismissed me.

  “Will Jacy’s fingers make me sick?”

  “Not her fingers, but she might have had some dirt on her fingers, and if she had her fingers in your mouth, she’d pass that dirt on to you. Anyway, you should just not let Jacy put her fingers in your mouth anymore. It’s why I tell you that biting your nails is bad. You need to keep your fingers out of your mouth, too.”

  I opened the apartment door. “You can have a quick snack and then let’s do your homework so we can get to Mary’s on time.”

  Piper ate Oreo cookies while I looked at the homework packet. “It doesn’t look like you have much homework tonight. Good. You’re supposed to find as many things at home that begin with the letter B as you can and I’m supposed to write them down.”

  Piper licked her lips. “And read, right?”

  “Right. We read every night. So, after you finish, let’s do this letter B scavenger hunt. We’ll see what time it is then and if we don’t have enough time to read before we go to Mary’s, we’ll read afterward.”

  Piper pulled the Oreo cookie apart and scraped the crème filling off with her front teeth. She stacked the chocolate wafers on her plastic princess plate building a tiny tower. After she’d scraped the crème from all the cookies, she ate them.

  I used to do the same thing when I was her age. I always wanted to savor the cookie. A boy in the foster home I stayed in hated the crème. He’d scrape it off with a butter knife. Sometimes I’d swap him the chocolate wafers for the cookie filling. It sounds really gross now but when I was a kid, it didn’t seem gross at all. It seemed brilliant.

  Piper finished eating her cookies and I grabbed the sheet the teacher had sent home to fill out. We started in the kitchen. “You say the item and I’ll write it down.”

  Piper looked around. “Banana.”

  “Good, Pipe. Great start.”

  “Bowl. Bottle.”

  I pointed to the item in the middle of the table. “What’s that?”

  “Basket!”

  We moved to the living room. Piper ran over to the coffee table and pointed. “Book!” Then she walked over to the couch. “Blanket.”

  We left the living room and walked to the bathroom. “Bathtub. Bubble bath. Barbie.”

  A naked Barbie doll was sitting on the corner of the bathtub. Piper had insisted that when she got a bath, Barbie needed one, too. “She gets dirty when she plays,” she had said.

  I followed Piper into her bedroom. She scanned the room. “Bed. Baby doll.”

  I walked over to her dresser and pointed to the necklace. She scrunched her nose. “I know necklace starts with the letter N, but what’s it made of?”

  A smile grew on Piper’s face. “Beads!”

  By the time we finished the scavenger hunt we had listed an entire page of items. I checked the time. “We’ll have to read later. It’s time we headed to Mary’s house. I don’t want to keep her waiting.”

  Piper grabbed her note and drawing and we climbed into the car. On the way, Piper had a million questions. “Does Mary like Cinderella? Will she make me eat vegetables? Does she have kids?”

  My answers:

  “I don’t know if she likes Cinderella. You’ll have to ask her.”

  “No, but you should eat vegetables because they are good for you.”

  “I don’t think she has any children.”

  I was going to answer “No” to the last question, but I didn’t want to lie. At the same time, I didn’t want to answer “Yes” because I knew that would lead to a lot more questions. So I decided to be vague, although I did wonder if Piper asked Mary what her response would be.

  As we drove up the private lane flanked by beautiful tall oaks, P
iper’s mouth dropped open. By the time we’d pulled into the circular driveway with the ornate water fountain to our left, Piper was talking so excitedly I could barely make out her words. Something about a castle and Cinderella and a Fairy God Mother. Mary opened the door when we climbed out of the car. I figured she was probably peeking out of the front window.

  I walked up the stone steps and into Mary’s opened arms. “Rachel, I’m so glad you came.”

  I wasn’t prepared for Mary’s hug and the force of her squeezing me so tightly made me cough. Then Mary bent down so she was eye level with Piper. “And you must be Piper. I’m so happy to finally meet you.”

  I couldn’t believe what Piper did next. She hugged Mary as if she’d known her forever. Mary was just as surprised as I was given that her eyes jumped to the top of her forehead. Normally, Piper is super shy and when we meet a stranger she ducks behind me and clings to my leg.

  “Thank you, Piper. That was a wonderful hug.” Mary stood up.

  “I lost my tooth today.” Piper stuck out her chin and opened her mouth.

  “Oh, I see,” Mary said. “I guess that means the Tooth Fairy will visit you tonight.”

  Mary glanced at me as Piper nodded, her curly pigtails flopping about.

  Mary turned around to lead us into the house. “Come, I have something to show you.”

  We followed her into the parlor where she’d set up a tiny tea set on a beautifully carved wooden child’s table. A fluffy stuffed dog with big ears sat in one of the tiny chairs.

  Piper gasped and jumped up and down. “Can I play with your dog?”

  Mary smiled. “It’s not mine, Piper. I bought him for you. And I thought that, since you were coming, I’d dust off the tiny tea set I played with as a child. I thought perhaps you and…” She paused and waved toward the stuffed dog. “You’ll have to name the dog. I thought you and the dog could have a tea party while Rachel and I finished dinner preparations. Would you like that?”

  Piper smiled. “Are you a Fairy God Mother?”

  Mary shook her head. “No, I’m just Mary.”

  Piper put her hands on her hips, assuming the stance of someone who was convinced that what they were about to say was the truth. “Well, I think you’re my Fairy God Mother. You live in a castle and you’re nice.”

  Piper ran over to the child’s table and picked up the floppy white puppy holding his face to her cheek.

  I followed Mary to the kitchen. “Mary, I don’t know what to say. That was so nice of you to buy Piper the puppy and to dig out your childhood toys.”

  Mary tied an apron around her waist and handed one to me. “Well, it’s not like I have children visit all of the time. Come to think of it, I don’t know the last time I heard a child’s voice echo through these rooms.”

  Mary opened the oven to check on the roast.

  I sniffed the air. “It smells delicious.”

  She closed the oven door. “Would you like a glass of wine?”

  I shook my head. “Wine always gives me a headache. I’m more of a beer girl.”

  Mary laughed. “Well, I haven’t had beer in the house since James died.”

  I told Mary I’d just have a glass of water with lemon. “Piper loved the dessert you made her the other night. She even included you in her prayers. Something about teaching me how to cook.”

  Mary laughed. “She’s darling. Speaking of which, I think everything is ready. Do you want to go get her while I put the food on the table?”

  “You don’t need me to help?”

  Mary held up her hand. “I got it. Go get Piper. And tell her she can bring her puppy, too. I’ll set a place for him at the table right beside her.”

  As I turned the corner, I heard Piper. I stopped and listened and stretched out my neck and peeked around the corner. She was sitting at the table, pretending to drink tea with her new stuffed puppy.

  “Now, Rachel Rose.” Piper shook her finger at the stuffed dog. “You must listen to your teacher. And you must do your homework even when you don’t want to. And color in the lines.”

  Rachel Rose? She chose my first name and her middle name for the dog’s name. Well, at least it wasn’t another Linda. That would’ve been way too confusing. Whatever happened to dog names like Spot and Muffin and Bullet? I walked around the corner. “Are you hungry?”

  She jumped up.

  “Follow me. Mary said it’s ready and it smells delicious.”

  Piper grabbed Rachel Rose before I had a chance to tell her she could bring the dog. I had a feeling Rachel Rose was going to be a constant in our lives for a long time to come.

  Chapter 16

  Mary

  I was filling the water glasses when Rachel and Piper walked into the dining room. Piper knew just where to sit. When I bought the stuffed puppy I also bought a princess place setting with a matching plate, bowl and drinking cup. Piper sat down in front of the princess plate and put her puppy on the chair next to her.

  She shook her tiny finger. “Now you be good, Rachel Rose.”

  I glanced at Rachel and smiled. “What a pretty name, Piper.”

  “I named her after me and Rachel.”

  I pulled out my chair and sat down. “They’re two very pretty names, just like the girls they belong to.”

  “Thanks,” Piper said. “You’re pretty, too. I like your white hair. I don’t have any friends who have white hair.”

  “Well, now you do. Would you like to say grace, Piper?”

  Piper bit her lip. “I don’t know how.”

  I reached for Piper and Rachel’s hands. “I’ll show you. I’ll say a line and you repeat it. Does that sound good?”

  Piper nodded.

  “God is great, God is good.”

  Piper repeated, “God is great, God is good.”

  “Let us thank Him for our food, Amen.”

  Piper squirmed in her seat. “Let us thank Him for our food, Amen. Now can we eat?”

  I laughed. “Absolutely.”

  Piper stared at the place setting and bit her bottom lip.

  “What’s wrong, Piper?” I asked.

  “Why do I have so many forks and spoons?”

  I pushed out my chair and walked over to Piper. I pointed to the fork. “You use this one to eat your salad and the other one to eat your dinner.” I proceeded to give Piper a quick etiquette lesson, explaining that you use utensils in an “outside in” order.

  “But why don’t you just use one fork for everything?”

  “I suppose you can at home,” I said. “But when you have dinner out, you must learn how to navigate…” I paused. I needed to remember I was talking to a five-year-old. “You must learn how to use the different utensils and in what order to use them. Every princess must learn the proper way to do things.”

  Piper looked up at me with her big blue eyes. I could tell by the look on her face that she liked being called a princess. In a matter of minutes Piper was repeating back to me when to use which utensil.

  “Very good, Piper,” I said. “I think you pass the Princess Table Setting test.”

  “Will you test me on other princess stuff?” Piper asked. “I want to be the best princess ever!”

  “I’d loved to.”

  We started dinner with cream of crab soup and Caesar salad. By the time I served the juicy roast beef with petite potatoes and mixed vegetables, I was full. I figured I’d pack up the food and send it along with Rachel. Piper seemed to be enjoying the chicken nuggets and French fries I’d made her.”

  I jabbed my fork into a carrot. “Would you like to try a carrot, Piper?”

  She shook her head. “I don’t like vegetables.”

  “You don’t like carrots? Why, carrots are the best vegetable there is. Every princess knows that!”

  Piper tilted her head and squinted her eyes. “Are you sure princesses like carrots?”

  Mary waved. “Of course, dear. After all, I’m a princess, or used to be when I was young like you. Now I’m a queen and I love car
rots. If you want to grow up to be a lovely queen, you need to eat your carrots and other vegetables. Would you like to try one, Princess Piper?”

  Piper nodded and I jabbed my fork into a carrot and held it up to her mouth before she could think twice about it. Piper gobbled down the carrot and I waited for her reaction.

  She nodded. “They’re good. Much better than I thought they’d be for being orange.”

  I laughed.

  “Everything is delicious,” Rachel said. “I can’t thank you enough for having us.”

  “Can we come back?” Piper blurted out.

  “Piper! Mind your manners!” Rachel said.

  I waved. “It’s okay. And of course you can come back. It’s nice having someone to eat dinner with.”

  Piper smiled. “I’ll eat dinner with you whenever you want.”

  I reached over and patted Piper’s hand. “That’s so sweet of you, Piper. Why don’t we have dinner together once a week? That is, of course, if Rachel agrees.”

  I looked at Rachel and she nodded.

  “Let’s make it the same day every week so it’s something that’s constant,” I said.

  “What does constant mean?” Piper asked.

  “When something is constant it means it always happens. It’s something you can count on.”

  Piper’s chin began to tremble. “Mommy picked me up at daycare every day. That was con-stant. But then one day she didn’t come.”

  My eyes filled with tears and I stood and walked over to Piper and bent over to hug her. “Piper, I promise we’ll have dinner once a week. How about every Wednesday? And if for some reason we can’t… maybe I’m sick or you’re sick… we’ll try to do it another day. Would that work for you?”

  Piper nodded. “And can Rachel Rose come, too?”

  I patted the top of Piper’s head. “Yes. You can bring any friends you want.”

  Piper’s eyes grew wide. “Even Jacy?”

  I looked at Rachel. “It’s her friend from school,” she explained. “The one I told you she met the first day.”

  “Oh,” I said. “Well, we’d have to talk to Jacy’s parents to see if they’d allow her to come. But you can invite Jacy sometime.”