Our Fragile Hearts

by Buffy Andrews

  “Rachel, right?”

  “Right.”

  “Slow down. Take a deep breath. If I can help you I will. And if I can’t, I’ll refer you to someone who can. But first, I need to know what your issue is. DUI?”

  “No!”

  “Divorce?”

  “No. Look, I don’t drink and drive and I’ve never been married. And to be honest, I don’t plan on ever getting married. As soon as I can I’m going to finish college. But first, I need to take care of my little sister.”

  “How little?”

  “Five. She’s in kindergarten. My mom, from whom I’d been estranged, died. That’s when I learned I had a little sister and there was no one to take care of her but me.”

  “Where’s the father?”

  “In jail. That’s my problem. He’s out now and I’m afraid he’s going to want Piper. But he’s still a drunk and the only way he’s ever going to get Piper is over my dead body.”

  Rod sipped his beer. “Well, now, tell me how you really feel.”

  “Look, the only nice thing the guy ever did for Piper was to leave her when she was a baby. I just need to know what my rights are and if he could get custody of her if he wanted to.”

  Rob rubbed his neck. “She’s his biological child?”

  “Yes.”

  He took another sip of beer. “And you’re absolutely sure about that?”

  “According to my mom’s best friend, Judy, Mom was totally in love with the guy. They met at an AA meeting. He was sober for a while but went off the wagon shortly after Piper was born.”

  “Hmm. He’d of course have to establish his paternity to make any claim. But if he is Piper’s biological father, he has rights. This is true regardless of whether or not he was married to Piper’s mother.”

  I pointed my finger at him. “For the record, they weren’t.”

  Rod pushed his beer glass forward and Claire served him another lager. “Look, Rachel. This isn’t my area of expertise. But fathers’ rights almost always trump others’ rights, regardless of what the custodial parent’s will says. Under normal circumstances, the surviving parent has an automatic right to custody when the other parent dies. Unless the father waives the right, or the chosen guardian, in this case you, can present a compelling reason why his child should live with them instead.”

  “So I’d have to prove that he’s an unfit father?”

  Rod sipped his beer. “Yes. If you’re able to show that granting him custody would likely harm Piper you might be able to fight this. In other words, evidence of drug problems, which you obviously have, could be used to argue against him.”

  He pulled out a business card. “I’m going to give you the name of a friend who specializes in family law. Tell him I sent you. I’ll give him a call, too, and give him a heads up. I’m sure he can give you better advice than I’m able to.”

  I slipped his business card into my purse. “Thanks. You’ve given me a lot to think about. And I really appreciate your time.”

  Rod threw a handful of peanuts into his mouth. “Good luck. If anyone can help you, Ned can.”

  Claire returned with my burger and fries.

  “That looks so good, Claire. Thanks.”

  “It’s on me,” she said.

  “No, you don’t have to buy me dinner.”

  “But I want to.”

  “Tell you what,” Rod said. “I’ll buy it. And yours, too, Claire, if you eat later.”

  I turned to Rod. “Thanks, that’s so nice of you.”

  “Just enjoy it.”

  “Yeah, thanks Rod,” Claire said. “Did you get Rachel all straightened out?”

  He smiled. “Not sure I helped that much but at least I gave her the number of someone who can. Ned and I went to law school together. He’s won many cases others thought were impossible.”

  I devoured my food and then checked the time on my cellphone. “I should go, Claire. I don’t want to keep Piper out too late. She was hard to get up for school this morning.”

  I slid off the bar stool and flung my purse over my shoulder. I held out my hand. “It was nice meeting you, Rod. And thanks again for the advice and for dinner.”

  Rod tilted his head. “My pleasure.”

  As soon as I got into the car I called Judy and told her what Rod had said. She promised to help me get the evidence I needed to fight Piper’s dad. I also called Mary and told her I was on my way. She said Piper was getting a bath and that they’d finished all of her homework.

  I filled up my gas tank and by the time I walked into Mary’s house, Piper was asleep in her arms.

  Mary looked up from where they sat on the couch. “She fell asleep watching TV.”

  I smiled. Piper looked so peaceful and Mary so happy. At that moment I knew Mary was right. Things happen for a reason.

  I sat down across from Mary and told her about the biopsy. “I figured I’d put Piper on the bus and get that taken care of before coming over here.”

  “No,” Mary said. “You’re not coming over here. I’ll come to your house and take you for the biopsy. You’ll probably have a few stitches and it will be tender and sore. Cleaning is the last thing you should be doing.”

  A tear slid down my cheek. “Thanks, Mary. It would be good to have the support.”

  I carried Piper to the car and Mary helped me put her inside. She slept the whole way home, waking up briefly when we arrived at the apartment. After a quick trip to the bathroom, I tucked her in bed and put Rachel Rose in her arms.

  The next morning, I stumbled downstairs to make some coffee and went through Piper’s backpack to make sure there were no papers I needed to fill out. I pulled out a purple sheet with the words Grandparents’ Day in big letters at the top. I read it. Turned out the school was inviting grandparents to visit the classroom and eat lunch with their grandchild in the cafeteria. What if you don’t have a grandparent? I wondered. Can an aunt come? An older friend? What about a sister?

  Piper was unusually energetic when she walked into the kitchen. “Guess what?” she grinned.

  “I’m too tired to guess. Why don’t you just tell me?”

  “We’re having Grandparents’ Day and Mary said she’d come.”

  I smiled. “Did she now?”

  “Yep! And she said she’d eat lunch with me, even if it’s something she doesn’t like.”

  I got Piper a cereal bowl from the cabinet. “You really like Mary a lot, don’t you?”

  Piper launched into an exaggerated nod, her chin touching her chest before bouncing back up.

  I poured milk over her cornflakes. “I like her a lot, too. She’s a very special woman.”

  “She said you’re special.” Piper grinned.

  “Me? She did?”

  “Yep! She said you’re a really good big sister and that she wants you to be happy.”

  “That’s nice.”

  “Are you?”

  I rubbed the top of Piper’s head. “Well, of course I am. How can I not be happy spending my life with you!”

  Something had happened over the past few months. I’d realized I needed Piper as much as she needed me. It was a revelation that had come to me quietly, tiptoeing into my mind and settling snuggly in the corner. My life was more meaningful in ways I didn’t think mattered. I was more concerned about Piper and her well-being than myself. I wondered if this was how love felt. You cared so much for someone else that you’d do anything to help them and protect them. That’s how I felt about Piper. She brought out the best in me when the worst was winning.

  I waved goodbye to Piper as the bus pulled away, just like I did every day. It occurred to me how something so routine had grown in importance. A few months ago, I would’ve considered having to take Piper to the bus stop a pain. Today, I looked forward to our morning routine. If something happened and I couldn’t do it any longer, I’d be sad. It’s crazy how there are two sides to everything and how, depending on where you’re at in life, you can see it differently.

  I was
waiting for Mary when Judy called. “He told me he wants custody,” she blurted into the phone as soon as I answered.

  I sat down on the couch. I was shaking and my hands were sweaty. My heart thumped. “I’m going to call the attorney Rod told me about last night. The one who specializes in family law. Rod did say, however, that Piper’s dad would have to prove paternity. You’re sure my mom wasn’t sleeping with anyone else?”

  “Positive,” Judy said. “She would’ve told me.”

  “Well, I’m not going to make it easy for the bastard. He’s going to have to prove paternity and if he passes that test I plan to fight him with everything I’ve got, which I know isn’t much. But the one weapon I do have is his record, and I plan to use that against him.”

  I said goodbye to Judy but by the time Mary arrived, I was fired up again.

  Chapter 28

  Mary

  “Rachel, what’s wrong? I can see it all over your face. You’ve been crying. It’s red and blotchy.”

  Rachel melted into a puddle of tears as she told me about Piper’s dad and his intentions.

  “I need to find a good lawyer. There’s no way I can allow him to get custody of Piper. He’d destroy her.”

  I put my arm around Rachel and led her into the living room where we sat on the couch. “Don’t worry. I’ll call my attorney and get him working on this right away. What’s the man’s full name? Rachel told me and I wrote it down.

  “I’m sorry, Mary. I shouldn’t be saddling you with all my problems. It’s not fair.”

  I patted her back. “Rachel, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ve come to care so much for you and Piper in such a short time.”

  Rachel sniffed and smiled. “She told me you agreed to attend Grandparents’ Day at her school. She was so excited about that this morning.”

  I smiled. “I’m excited, too. Since I’ve never had children or grandchildren, I’ve never had the opportunity to do these kinds of things. Reading to Piper. Helping her with her homework. Showing her how to sew on a button.”

  Rachel looked at me. “When did you teach her how to sew on a button? I don’t even know how to sew on a button.”

  “Oh, my,” I said. “We do have our work cut out for us. A button popped off my blouse and I sewed it back on. Piper watched and wanted to try, so I let her. I was thinking I’d buy her a little sewing box with some spools of thread and needles and buttons and let her practice on some pieces of fabric scraps.”

  “You would’ve been such a good mother,” Rachel said. “Do you ever regret not adopting?”

  “Sometimes, yes. But I was so devastated after learning about James and my father that it took me a long time to rebound. I blamed myself for everything that went wrong in my life. Let’s just say my therapist bills were in the thousands before I was done.”

  “I blamed myself, too,” Rachel said. “I thought if I’d been better, prettier, smarter, maybe Mom would love me enough to stop drinking. The bad foster homes didn’t help. Once I acted out and my foster parents sent me to my room and wouldn’t give me dinner that night. I was so hungry. That night, their older son came to my room and brought me food. But he’d only give it to me if I did something bad. I was only nine at the time and I knew I shouldn’t allow him to touch me in that way, but I was so hungry I didn’t care. He came to my room a lot after that.”

  Listening to Rachel broke my heart into a million pieces. The poor girl had been through hell and back. No wonder she’d given up her life to care for Piper, to protect her and keep her safe.

  “Rachel, I don’t know what to say. That’s awful.”

  Rachel sighed. “Looking back, it’s a wonder I survived.”

  “That you did, and quite well I might add.”

  I wasn’t sure if I should ask Rachel about her father, but I wanted to know if he was or had ever been in the picture.

  “Rachel, can I ask you something?

  “Sure, Mary, anything.”

  “You never mentioned your father. Is he still around?”

  Rachel shrugged. “I never met the man. I have no idea who he is or even if he’s still alive. And to be perfectly honest, I’m not sure my mom knew, either.”

  “I see. Well, whoever he was, he sure missed out on having a wonderful daughter.”

  “Thanks, Mary. I wish I’d had a mother like you.”

  I smiled. “Funny you say that because Piper asked me if I’d be her mother.”

  “She did?”

  I nodded. “We were in the grocery store checkout line and the woman in front of us thought Piper was my granddaughter. On the way home from the store, Piper brought up the woman’s comment. ‘Miss Mary,’ she said. ‘I don’t have a grandma. I don’t have a mommy, either. I have Rachel and she’s my sister. Do you think you could be my mommy?’”

  Rachel smiled. “And what did you say?”

  “I told her I’d be whatever she wanted me to be.”

  “What was her answer?”

  “She wanted me to be her mommy. All I could think about was that I had to be the oldest parent of a child in Piper’s class.”

  That made Rachel laugh. It was good to see a smile return to her beautiful face.

  “You have been so wonderful to me and Piper,” Rachel said. “And you don’t owe us anything.”

  “Oh, but I do, sweet child. I do. For the first time in years I feel loved and wanted. Reading to Piper. Making you dinner. Seeing Piper’s face light up when I gave her the cuddly dog. Hearing a child’s laughter fill the rooms of my big old house that’s never given me any comfort until now. You’re giving me back the life I lost. You’ve made it richer, more beautiful. Thanks just doesn’t seem to be nearly enough.”

  Rachel hugged me. “Thanks for being here.”

  I looked at my watch. “Are you ready to go get that biopsy?”

  Rachel nodded and we walked out to my car – together.

  Chapter 29

  Rachel

  Mary stayed in the waiting room while I went back for the biopsy.

  “Hi, Rachel. I’m Dr. Jackson. I’m going to take a tissue sample from your swollen lymph node. Then we’ll send it to a pathologist who will examine it under a microscope. We usually get the results in about a week. Do you have any questions?”

  “Will it hurt?” I asked.

  “Since the lymph node is close to the surface and will be easy to remove, I’ll give you a local anesthetic. You’ll have a few stitches at the site that I’ll cover with dressing. It might be tender for a while. Your GP…”

  “GP?” I interrupted.

  “Sorry, your general practitioner.” He looked at the sheet of paper on his clipboard. “Dr. Sweet will remove the stitches, so you should make a follow-up appointment with him for one week from today. Hopefully, by that time he’ll also have the biopsy results.”

  The biopsy didn’t hurt too much and by the time we left the office it was a little past noon.

  “Are you hungry?” Mary asked.

  I nodded. “A little. What about you?”

  “I’m famished. Let’s stop and get lunch. My treat.”

  I figured we’d stop at a diner, but Mary pulled into the parking lot of a fancy restaurant I probably couldn’t afford to buy even a cup of coffee at. “We’re going to eat here?”

  “It’s one of my favorite places.” Mary turned off the car and pulled out the key. “But if you’d rather go somewhere else, we can.”

  “No. No, of course not. I’ve just never been here before. It’s way too expensive.” I unbuckled my seatbelt.

  “Well, then it’s about time we changed that.”

  The maître d’ knew Mary by name and as soon as we walked in the door we were seated at a table overlooking the city skyline.

  I looked out the window. “What a beautiful view.”

  “Yes.” Mary picked up her leather-bound menu. “This is my favorite table so, when it’s available, they always sit me here.” She opened the menu. “Order whatever you’d like.”


  “There are no prices on the menu,” I whispered.

  Mary smiled. “That’s because you’re not supposed to worry about the cost. Order whatever you’d like.”

  I followed Mary’s lead and ordered a crock of French onion soup and a chicken salad sandwich on thick sourdough bread. The chicken salad was made with grapes – just the way I like it.

  Mary and I chatted throughout lunch, talking about everything from our favorite TV shows to weightier matters, like the lack of a state budget and its effect on local schools. Being with her was like being with a friend you’ve known forever. It was a good, comfortable feeling that made you warm all over.

  “The soup and salad were delicious, Mary. Thank you for bringing me here.”

  Mary smiled. “Would you like dessert?”

  I rubbed my stomach. “I don’t think I can eat one more bite.”

  Mary ordered tea and I got coffee and our talk turned serious.

  “Rachel, I’m going to speak to my attorney later today about Piper’s dad. I’ll do everything I can to help you keep her.”

  I sighed. “Thanks, but I’m not sure I can afford your attorney. Will he accept payments?”

  Mary smiled. “That’s the last thing you should be thinking about. Don’t worry about the cost. I’ll take care of it.”

  I could feel the emotion beginning to inch up my throat and I choked on my words. “Mary, you’re so kind but I don’t want to take advantage of you. I don’t expect you to pay for my attorney. I got the name of one to call. I just haven’t had time to do it yet. You’ve done so much already. I couldn’t begin to pay you back.”

  Mary reached for my hand. “Rachel, I’m not only doing this for you and Piper, but for me, too. What would I do if my girls weren’t together?”

  I smiled. Hearing her say “my girls” filled me with warmth and gratitude. I’d never been anyone’s “girl” and finally, at age twenty-two, I was. I think knowing that you matter is an incredible gift and I hadn’t realized how much I longed for it until Mary gave it to me.

  The more time I spent with Mary, the more I was beginning to see that a family is something that’s made. It’s a gift. I remembered one of my first conversations with Mary. The one where she said she had everything she’d ever wanted. The best clothes. The best house. More money than she could ever spend. But the thing she’d wanted most had always eluded her. It wasn’t something she could buy, or trade for, or even steal. It was a gift that had to be given. Not something she could take. And in that moment I knew what Mary wanted most in life was to have a family. Piper needed that, too, and I was beginning to realize I did as well.