The Pet Factor

by Judy Brown

  Dedicated to

  AB

  for the music

  Contents

  Title Page

  Dedication

  Chapter 1: Pet Factor Fever

  Chapter 2: Excursion Plans

  Chapter 3: Audition Time!

  Chapter 4: Charlie’s Debut

  Chapter 5: Funny Farm

  Chapter 6: Bad News

  Chapter 7: Worse News

  Chapter 8: Peggy’s Pet Emporium

  Chapter 9: The Sleepover

  Chapter 10: A Star is Born

  Chapter 11: Caged!

  Chapter 12: Breakout!

  Chapter 13: Archie at the Wheel

  About the Author

  Also available in this series

  Copyright

  Chapter 1

  Pet Factor Fever

  Crash! Clatter! Clang!

  Archie woke with a start to the sound of Flo crashing in a heap to the floor.

  ‘What on earth are you doing, Flo?’ he asked. ‘You’ll go through the classroom ceiling if you’re not careful!’

  Flo dusted herself off and flew back up to the beam she’d been balancing on.

  ‘I’m practising pirouettes. I’ve been watching Pet Factor on the television,’ she said. ‘It’s brilliant! All the children are talking about it.’

  Archie the cat, Flo the bird and Sparky the mouse – the Petbots – were in their attic hideaway above the classrooms at Oakhill Primary School. Archie tuned in his radar ears to listen to the usual Monday-morning hubbub. It seemed that this morning the children were even more hyper than usual.

  ‘I see what you mean, Flo,’ said Archie. He played the conversation through his speakers so that they could all listen.

  ‘I didn’t think that Pet Factor would be as good as X Factor but it’s amazing,’ said one of the children.

  ‘Some of those pets were really clever,’ agreed another.

  ‘Did you see those guinea pigs?’ one of the Year Ones was saying. ‘They were soooo fluffy! Couldn’t you have just eaten them up?’

  Sparky looked alarmed. Archie laughed.

  ‘Don’t worry, Sparky,’ he said, ‘it’s just an expression.’

  ‘What about the snake?’ one of the other children said. ‘That was scary.’

  ‘I thought the best bit was the Chihuahua that danced a cha-cha.’

  ‘No, the best bit was definitely that other dog that pooped on stage,’ laughed someone else. ‘Its owner was so embarrassed. That was awesome!’

  There was lots of excited giggling, and Archie switched off his speakers.

  The excitement had clearly spread to Sparky as well and he was whizzing at top speed around the attic, sparks flying.

  ‘Would speed be my special talent?’ he asked, darting in and out of the rafters.

  ‘It’s hard to think of another pet that could go faster than you, Sparky,’ said Flo. ‘That speed of yours has helped us out of trouble more than once.’

  Archie looked puzzled. ‘What’s this Pet Factor all about then, Flo?’

  Flo powered up the laptop and typed ‘Pet Factor’ into the search box. The Pet Factor website came up.

  ‘People take along their talented pets and they perform in front of some judges. If they get enough “yes” votes their pet gets through to the next round. You can watch video clips of some of the acts.’ Flo clicked on one of a particularly perky-looking parrot.

  Sparky zipped over to join them.

  ‘Cor! Who knew they made bikes that small? Let’s look at another one, Flo! What can that rabbit do?’

  ‘I like this one,’ said Flo. She clicked on a picture of a Chihuahua wearing a Mexican costume. ‘Isn’t he adorable? Look he dances the cha-cha with Carmelita, the lady with the massive blonde hairdo. That just has to be a wig.’

  ‘It all looks a bit daft to me,’ said Archie. ‘I don’t think I’d fancy getting up on a stage and performing like that.’

  ‘But you’re not an ordinary pet, are you, Archie? Anyway, it wouldn’t be fair if you entered.’ Flo imagined she was a contestant, performing in front of adoring fans. She did a few more pirouettes, got a bit dizzy and fell over. It wasn’t as easy as it looked.

  Down in the 5B classroom, Mrs Kinsey was trying to get the lesson started as the last few stragglers arrived. Jack, Anya and Sophie were the Petbots’ friends, and they were the only ones who knew that Archie, Flo and Sparky were living in the school attic.

  ‘Did you watch Pet Factor on Saturday?’ asked Anya. ‘Everyone’s talking about it.’

  ‘Sure did,’ said Jack. ‘It was awesome, especially the show-jumping rabbits. My cousin’s got rabbits and they’re really boring. Too fat to do anything, and they just sit twitching their noses all day and stuffing their faces with carrots.’

  ‘I liked the ducks,’ added Sophie. ‘How on earth did they get them to quack in time with the music?’

  ‘Enough chatter, 5B,’ said Mrs Kinsey. ‘The sooner we get the register done, the sooner I can tell you some exciting news.’

  A murmur of anticipation spread through the class.

  Up in the attic, the Petbots were still sitting around the laptop watching video clips of the contestants. Some of them were brilliant, some were rather silly and some were just plain dreadful.

  ‘Ha ha ha!’ roared Archie. ‘Have you ever heard anything so awful in your life?’ he said as they watched a clip of a ‘singing’ dog.

  ‘Shhhh, Archie!’ warned Flo. ‘It’s quiet down there, they’ll hear you!’

  Archie clapped a metal paw over his mouth to stifle his giggles.

  It was so quiet in 5B’s classroom that the register was done in double-quick time.

  ‘Well, class, I know how all of you have been enjoying watching Pet Factor over the last week,’ Mrs Kinsey said. There were murmurs of agreement and a few spontaneous rounds of applause. ‘Well, I’m thrilled to tell you that the auditions will be coming to our local theatre this week!’ The whole class gasped. ‘And that’s not all,’ she went on. ‘The producers of the show have asked local schools to make an announcement that they are looking for new talent. The auditions will be happening all week long, so if you or anyone you know has a pet they’d like to put forward for the Pet Factor, now’s your chance!’

  Loud cheers filled the room.

  Chapter 2

  Excursion Plans

  Jack, Anya and Sophie couldn’t wait to see the Petbots at morning break. The children and the Petbots always met up on a Monday morning to catch up on any exciting news. The children sneaked into the stationery cupboard, their usual meeting place, eager to share the Pet Factor news.

  Archie and the others saw them heading for the cupboard on their surveillance monitors and were ready and waiting when the children arrived. Archie and the others had installed the system of cameras and motion sensors to avoid being caught unawares by the nosey, grumpy old caretaker, Albert Sparrowhawk, who was always on the prowl.

  ‘Did you hear?’ said Anya. ‘About Pet Factor, and the auditions?’

  ‘Yes we did!’ said Flo, flapping her metal wings excitedly. ‘We’ve just been watching clips on the website.’

  ‘This is the last week of auditions,’ said Anya, ‘and anyone who gets through now will be entered into the semi-final live on TV on Saturday! The public will vote for the winners and they’ll go through to the live grand final in London a week later!’

  ‘We’re trying to persuade Sophie to take her cat Charlie to the audition,’ said Jack.

  ‘Oh! Why? What can he do?’ Flo was beside herself.

  ‘He’s just a big old moggy,’ Sophie explained, ‘but he loves to sit at the piano and put his paws on the keys, especially when I’m doing my piano practice.’

  ‘It’s h
ilarious!’ said Jack.

  ‘You should get him a little bow tie, like soloists wear,’ said Anya. ‘He’d look so cute!’

  ‘I wish I could come to the auditions,’ said Flo.

  ‘You should totally come!’ said Jack. ‘Nobody would notice you amongst all those animals.’

  ‘And if Sophie’s taking Charlie, you could come with us,’ said Anya.

  ‘Oh please, please, please can we? Can we?’ Flo and Sparky pleaded.

  Archie was quite intrigued by the whole thing, but he felt someone had to be sensible about it. The Professor had always warned him about the danger of discovery. When the Professor had built the Petbots he’d made sure to tell them that because they were such an amazing piece of robot engineering, if they fell into the wrong hands they might be dismantled to see how they worked and never put together again.

  ‘I’ll think about it,’ Archie told them.

  Flo, Sparky and the children huddled together in excitement.

  Bbrrinnggg!

  ‘There’s the bell,’ said Sophie. ‘Back to class.’

  ‘See you back here later!’ Jack said.

  As the Petbots went back to the attic, Flo was chattering away about how much fun the auditions would be.

  ‘Don’t get too carried away,’ said Archie. He didn’t want Flo to be disappointed if it wasn’t possible to go. ‘Let’s find out exactly where the auditions are going to be held.’

  The Petbots gathered around the laptop.

  ‘Okay, here’s the map,’ said Archie. ‘It looks like the theatre’s actually not that far from here, only about five minutes’ flying time for you, Flo.’ She and Sparky looked at each other and grinned. ‘Getting there wouldn’t be a problem for Sparky either,’ Archie went on, ‘because he can travel in someone’s pocket.’

  ‘But what about you, Archie?’ asked Flo. ‘We couldn’t leave you behind.’ Suddenly she looked a bit worried.

  ‘Exactly. How can I get from here to there without being seen?’

  Later on that day the children came back to the stationery cupboard, eager to find out whether the Petbots could come to the Pet Factor audition.

  ‘Well?’ Sophie asked anxiously.

  Archie explained the problem.

  ‘You could wear a disguise to get there, like you have before – you know, when you impersonated Mr Sparrowhawk and imitated his voice with your digital sampler,’ Jack suggested.

  ‘Yes, but it’s too far for me to walk on two legs instead of four,’ Archie told him.

  ‘How about a pushchair?’ asked Anya.

  ‘I’m too big,’ said Archie.

  ‘Hang on …’ Jack said. ‘Do you remember last year when Robbie fell out of a tree and broke his leg?’

  ‘Yes,’ chorused Anya and Sophie.

  ‘And we had to push him around everywhere in a wheelchair?’

  Sophie smiled. ‘I see where you’re going with this.’

  ‘I know for a fact that wheelchair is still in the sickroom.’

  ‘We could borrow it …’ said Anya. ‘It might be hard work pushing it, though, Archie being so heavy.’

  ‘Not if I powered it myself,’ said Archie, an idea forming in his processors. ‘I can rig up a motor to attach to the wheels and plug it into my powerpack. It shouldn’t use up any more energy than if I was walking there, so it wouldn’t run my batteries down.’

  ‘Brilliant!’ said Jack.

  ‘All we have to do is think of a way to make a fake plaster cast for my leg,’ Archie mused. ‘It looks like we’re coming with you after all!’

  Sparky whizzed around doing celebratory wheelies. Then Flo tried to do a loop-the-loop and ended up knocking a box of drawing pins off the top shelf! But Archie calmly stretched out a magnetised paw to pick them up and Sparky collected the pins that had rolled under the shelves. By the time he finished he looked a bit like a multicoloured hedgehog!

  ‘Tomorrow’s auditions start at five,’ said Jack, ‘but the doors open at four, so we’ll meet you after school with the wheelchair.’

  ‘Sparky and I will wait for you near the bicycle shed,’ confirmed Archie.

  ‘Yay! We’re going on an adventure!’ twittered Flo.

  With that, the Petbots returned to the attic to plan their route and the children went to afternoon lessons. They were far too excited to concentrate.

  Chapter 3

  Audition Time!

  Sophie, Jack and Anya were excited about Pet Factor but Sophie was also rather nervous. She and her mum were taking her cat Charlie along to audition!

  ‘I hope he doesn’t go all shy on me,’ explained Sophie. ‘Mum said I’ll need to go on stage and play the piano with him, or he won’t do it. I’ll feel a real idiot if he just sits there and does nothing.’

  ‘It’ll be fine,’ Anya assured her. ‘Charlie’s a natural performer.’

  A few of the other children in the school were taking their pets to the audition too and it seemed to be the only topic of conversation in school. The day dragged on slowly. 5B’s last lesson was PE and during football training Jack gave a performance worthy of an Oscar.

  ‘Oooo! Oww! My ankle!’ he wailed, after being tackled by another boy in the class.

  ‘I never touched him, Miss!’ said the boy indignantly.

  ‘Oh dear,’ said Mrs Kinsey, examining his leg. ‘I can’t see anything broken or swollen – can you walk?’

  Jack ‘tried’ to stand.

  ‘Ow, ow, ow!’ he groaned.

  Mrs Kinsey winced. ‘We’d better get the office to ring your parents so they can come and pick you up.’

  ‘Er,’ said Jack quickly, ‘our car’s broken, Mrs Kinsey.’

  Right on cue, Sophie piped up suddenly as if she’d just had a brilliant idea.

  ‘I could take him home in the wheelchair from the sickroom,’ she suggested helpfully. ‘Jack only lives five minutes away from me.’

  ‘How kind, Sophie,’ said Mrs Kinsey, impressed with Sophie’s generous offer. ‘Do you think that will be okay, Jack?’

  ‘I think it’s just badly twisted, Miss. It will be fine if I don’t walk on it.’

  ‘I’ll go and let the office know then,’ she said. ‘Everybody else back to the changing room. Anya, perhaps you can give Sophie a hand?’

  Mrs Kinsey turned to go and when she was out of earshot, Jack, Sophie and Anya exchanged high fives.

  When the bell finally rang, the school emptied even more quickly than on the last day of term. Everyone was so excited about the Pet Factor audition!

  The Petbots watched from the attic and laughed when they saw Sophie and Anya wheeling Jack through the gate, as if they were heading for home. Archie put on his disguise so he was ready to meet Jack and Anya by the bicycle shed. He was wearing a hooded top and jogging bottoms he’d found in the Lost Property box, and he extended his robotic legs, arms and neck to make himself taller so that the clothes would fit. Flo flew out of the attic window and perched on the roof to keep a lookout for teachers.

  ‘No one around!’ she twittered cheerfully on their internal communication system. The intercom was how the Petbots communicated when they were out of earshot. Archie checked the surveillance monitors just to make sure. The headteacher was in his office, deeply engrossed in a game of Sweetie Slush Saga on his Facebook page and was oblivious to anything but the fruity ‘pings’. Mr Sparrowhawk was the only other staff member still in the building, and he was in the basement setting mousetraps for the night.

  ‘I don’t understand it, I don’t know why I never catch anything,’ he grumbled to himself. ‘They must be the cleverest mice on the planet. Every night they set these things off, but I never catch even one of the blighters.’

  Sparky knew the reason for that.

  ‘Okay, coast is clear,’ said Archie. They sneaked out of the stationery cupboard, down the stairs and out of the school.

  Anya was waiting on the other side of the fence near the bicycle shed with the wheelchair, as instructed, and Flo had flown
down to join her. Sophie had gone home to collect her cat and Jack was just walking up the road towards them. A very bouncy, crazy-looking puppy was with him too.

  The closer that Archie got, the bouncier the puppy became. By the time Archie had reached them, it could no longer contain itself. It was clearly keen to make friends and circled round and round the Petbots, sniffing madly. Then he licked Archie’s face … all over.

  ‘Buster! Stop it!’ cried Jack. ‘Archie, this is my puppy, Buster. I decided to bring him to the audition!’

  ‘But what can he do?’ asked Anya. ‘I’ve seen him with your mum and dad in the park – he’s just mental.’

  ‘Yeah, he is a bit,’ Jack laughed, ‘but he does sing along when he hears me singing. Well, howls really.’

  ‘I’m not surprised,’ said Anya. ‘Your singing’s enough to make anyone howl!’

  ‘Erm, hello, Buster, nice to meet you I’m sure,’ blurted Archie through the licks, ‘but if you could just calm down …’

  The others thought it was hilarious.

  Jack giggled. ‘I think he likes you.’

  Flo nearly fell off the fence laughing.

  ‘Yes, and I like him too, but if you could get him off me before his slobber gives me a short circuit, I’d really appreciate it.’

  ‘Come on, Buster,’ said Jack, pulling the puppy away, ‘leave Archie alone.’ Anya patted Buster’s head and he looked at her adoringly.