by Jess Bryant
Her wolf whimpered.
“You’re family, Zo. I have to take care of you.” Michael started to reach out, as if he was going to stroke her fur but then seemed to think better of it and pulled his hand back, “Are you ready?” His brows knit together and he closed his eyes, his voice had dropped back into that powerful baritone, “Shift, Zoey. Now. Shift.”
The words hit her like a punch to the gut and her wolf hissed. Zoey screamed as her bones cracked and her muscles seized. It was agony. Pure agony as her wolf howled and her throat went raw with the sound of her screams. She doubled over, panting and sweating and the world went fuzzy and then completely black.
“Zoey?” Michael’s voice roused her back into consciousness and her eyes flickered open, the world coming back into focus.
She was on the ground, curled up in the fetal position. Everything hurt. Literally everything, even her teeth hurt. She thought she might puke so she pulled air in and out of her lungs slowly. Trying to steady herself and find her equilibrium. Her body was wracked with pains and she moaned as she tried to sit upright.
“Easy, now.” This time Michael’s hands closed around her upper arms, guiding her into a sitting position and she winced at his strength, “Sorry. Sorry. I know it hurts. I’m sorry.”
“Rafe…” Her voice came out a harsh croak and she met Michael’s eyes, “We have to find Rafe.”
“Zo…” Michael scrubbed a hand over his face but she reached out and grabbed his wrist, pulling his hand away and forcing him to look at her.
“He’s hurting. He’s scared and alone and…” Her voice broke and she didn’t even realize she was crying until Michael softly brushed the stray tears off her cheeks, “Michael, please…”
“I’ll get him back for you, Zoey. I promise I will. Just let me take care of you first.”
“No.” She tried to shove up to her feet to go after her mate herself but her legs were too weak to hold her weight and Michael had to catch her.
“Goddamnit Zoey. You never listen to me.” He swept her up into his arms and she became instantly and embarrassingly aware that she was naked.
Naked as the day she was born. In front of the entire pack. Her skin against Michael’s as he carried her. And it felt wrong, so wrong. She shivered and tried to cover herself but Michael only chuckled.
“Don’t bother. I’m not looking and even if I did, it wouldn’t be anything I wanted to see.”
She sniffed, “Gee, thanks buddy.”
His grin was sparkling when he laughed, “You’re my brother’s mate. My sister by fate. You’re also a member of my pack. You’re going to have to get used to the nudity thing if you’re going to shift with us going forward. This is nothing.”
“You think your brother is going to see it that way?”
Michael’s smile faltered. Her chest ached and her wolf whined from her new place deep inside Zoey. His brother. Her mate. Rafe. She felt incomplete without him. Like her heart was missing from her chest.
“He didn’t want to change, Michael.” She whispered softly, “He was worried. He was… scared. He didn’t know how his wolf would react to me but all of this… the fighting and the blood? It was too much. I can feel him and he’s so far away and he’s panicked. I need to go after him.”
“You’re not going anywhere except inside to rest and heal from your first shift. I’m Pack Alpha and whatever happened tonight, it brought him back to me. He’s pack again and I can feel him too. I promised you I’d get him back and I will. You have to trust me, Zoey.”
“I do. I trust you. And I’ll stay here.” She met Michael’s eyes, the ones that looked so much like her mates, “Find him and bring him back to me.”
Chapter 24
The sun was coming up but Rafe was still in his wolf form. He hadn’t even tried to change back to his human self. He didn’t want to be in his skin right now. He didn’t feel solid or safe. He’d burrowed down deep inside the animal when he realized he couldn’t regain control and he’d let the wolf have his way ever since.
Sadly, his broken wolf had retreated even further than his human side.
The wolf had gone back to their old camping site. The one that they’d stayed at when he was just a pup. The campground that the humans had stumbled upon because it was just outside the pack boundary.
He’d gone back to the place where his family had been slaughtered. The last place he could remember being truly happy. Before his parents and brother were killed and he’d ripped apart two men in his half-crazed bloodlust.
He’d become a killer that day and he’d spent hours, days, out here in the woods wandering around lost and confused. His fur had been soaked in blood and he’d kept going back to the bodies of his family. Here, in these trees and on this ground, he’d mourned all alone, feeling as if he had lost his grip on reality.
Maybe that was why his wolf had come back here last night. He’d lost control. His wolf had taken over. He’d gone murderous at the thought of Michael being injured, being killed. He’d chased those wolves that attacked his brother down. He’d managed to catch a few and he’d ripped them apart just like he had those hunters years ago.
Then he’d come here and lay down, hunkered down, but he hadn’t slept a wink. He’d just stared into the woods, waiting for someone to come for him. He’d thought that big wolf might come back for him and try to take him down for what he’d done to his friends. But it had been quiet all night which was why the sound of a twig breaking had him scrambling up.
He jumped into a defensive position and snarled in the direction the noise had come from. His eyes scanned the woods but he couldn’t see anything. He growled a warning but it cut off as soon as his brother stepped out from behind a tree.
Michael. Brother. Family. Pack.
His wolf was still jumpy. He didn’t know whether to rush Michael and nuzzle him, make sure he was okay, or run away. Michael had shifted back to human before coming to find him. He looked leery but also determined and if the vibes rolling off of him were any indication, he was also frustrated as hell.
Rafe’s wolf whined as Michael inched closer.
“Easy now.” His brother spoke softly, “Easy, Rafe. I’m not here to hurt you or fight with you. I’m here to bring you home.”
Home. Rafe’s wolf tilted his head at that. He hadn’t had a home in so long.
Michael reached a fallen log and sat on it. He didn’t move quickly. He kept his every action slow and steady and his eyes on Rafe’s. He didn’t get too close. He sat down like he was getting comfortable for a chat and that was Rafe’s first sign that they were about to have a very one-sided conversation.
He couldn’t talk back in wolf form. Maybe that’s what Michael wanted. Hell, maybe it was what he wanted. Because he didn’t try to shift back. He simply stared at his brother through his wolf’s eyes and waited for him to get to the point.
Dressed as he was in jeans and a t-shirt, Michael looked no worse for wear after the battle last night. He’d healed fast. The only visible sign of any trouble at all was the red mark that ran along his forearm. He’d been cut deep there by a claw at some point during the fighting and it was going to scar.
Rafe’s wolf whined as he remembered the panic he’d felt when he heard Michael howl. The sight of his brother on the ground with wolves coming after him had Rafe gritting his teeth. The fact that he could still taste the blood of those wolves, could smell it on his fur, kept him from losing his grip on reality again.
He’d taken care of them and Michael was safe.
“You know I was wrong right?” His brother scrubbed a hand through his hair and shrugged, “Sure you do. You can feel it just like I can. I was wrong about you not being pack anymore. You are. You’re Moirae pack. Your tie just isn’t to the land. It’s to me.”
Rafe’s wolf eased back down and watched Michael through suspicious eyes. His wolf knew that just like he did. It wasn’t news. He’d felt it last night. He didn’t know why the bond had needed to be reformed but it was
clear that it had. It had taken Michael’s blood to do it. Michael had spilled his blood and Rafe had instantly sensed it.
Pack. Family. Brotherhood. He was Moirae.
“Right. You know that.” Michael continued, “So you know that if I really wanted to, I could force you to shift back right here and right now.”
Rafe’s wolf growled. Oh, he didn’t like that. He didn’t like the threat. He didn’t like the reminder that Michael was Pack Alpha. He definitely didn’t like the certainty in his little brother’s voice that said he knew he was strong enough to do it. In a battle of wills, Michael believed he would win as the Pack Alpha and the only thing that kept Rafe from challenging him in that moment was the knowledge that he would have to be the one to spill more of Michael’s blood to prove it untrue.
And he would never do that.
“I’m not going to.” Michael shook his head, “Because I have some things I want to say and honestly, I kind of like the idea of you not being able to interrupt me.”
Rafe bristled but settled back down. He wasn’t going to fight his brother. Not as wolves and not as humans either. Just so long as Michael didn’t play the trump card and try to force a change on him that he wasn’t ready for.
“I never blamed you, ya know.” His brother leaned forward with a heavy sigh and rested his elbows on his thighs, “Never. I always knew what happened to Mom and Dad, what happened to Gabe, wasn’t your fault. I’ve never had a chance to tell you that because you were so busy blaming yourself but I want you to know that I never did.”
His wolf whined at the mention of his twin and their parents. It had been his fault. No matter what Michael said. It had been his fault. He hadn’t done it on purpose and he would take it back if he could but it was his fault they’d all been in the woods that day and he was the one that had accidentally led the hunters back to their camp. It was his fault their family was dead.
“No. Don’t you do that.” Michael’s voice rose a little, “Don’t you get lost back there in the could have’s and should have’s. It was a long time ago and it’s over. Whatever you did that makes you think you caused their deaths, you’ve more than paid for it with your self-imposed banishment and isolation.”
Michael dropped his eyes and picked at a string on the knee of his ripped jeans, “I never blamed you for their deaths but leaving? That was all your choice, Rafe. You left. Left the pack. Left me. Your only family. Your only brother. You left me all alone to deal with everything and I blamed you for that for a long time. I hated you for it.”
Rafe felt the words sink into his soul and his wolf whined again. Michael hated him. He’d always secretly wondered if his brother despised him for what had happened in the woods that day. Hearing that he didn’t blame him for their family being killed was unexpected but hearing that he hated him wasn’t. It just hadn’t been for the reason he thought it was.
“The thing is, as I got older and I took on more and more of the pack responsibilities I understood why you left. You were in no shape to lead and you thought leaving was the only way to protect me. It was the only way to give me the pack without the elders stripping you of your Alpha status or making me fight you for it.” Michael met his eyes again and a sad smile tilted one corner of his lips, “Yeah. I get that now, brother. I get why you had to leave me behind the way you did and I forgive you.”
If he was in his human form, Rafe thought he might have cried. Forgiveness. It was the very last thing he deserved but he wanted it. He soaked in it. His brother forgave him because he was a better man than Rafe had ever been. A better wolf and a better leader. Michael was the Alpha the pack deserved.
“Look at me.” Michael’s strong, demanding voice jerked Rafe out of his thoughts and he met eyes that had gone hard and golden in the morning light, “I forgive you for leaving me behind but I will never, ever, forgive you if you do the same thing to Zoey.”
Zoey. Rafe snapped to attention at the sound of her name. Zoey. His Zoey. His mate. His wolf whined and shrank down into a crouch. He’d forgotten about her. In his bloodlust, he’d somehow forgotten about his mate and that was… unacceptable. Totally and completely unacceptable. His gut clenched and his fur rolled as his wolf tried to scramble away from the accusation.
It was true though. He’d left Zoey. He’d left her in the middle of a battle on her first full moon. He’d left his mate alone without even looking back. In the old days, he’d have been stripped of his wolf for putting a female in danger like that.
He whimpered at the thought of losing her. He could have lost her. He’d only been thinking of Michael All this time and all these hours, he’d been wandering around in a cloud of sorrow for all he’d lost. He’d forgotten somehow of all he had left to lose.
Zoey. The woman he was in love with. His woman and his wolf to cherish and protect and on day one, night one, he’d failed.
“You swore to me that you’d do right by her. You promised you’d be better. So you come home with me now, you come back and you make things right with her. I’m not giving you another option. I wouldn’t have fought you for the pack but I’ll fight you for her. Not because I want her as my mate but because she’s my best friend. She’s the best woman I’ve ever known and I think she’s good for you. But you have to be good for her in return.”
Rafe was already surging for the surface before his brother finished speaking. His wolf didn’t fight him. He let go of his control of them and let Rafe come back to the forefront. He hadn’t liked the truth of what he’d done and he didn’t want to face off with Michael. His wolf all but tucked tail and ran as Rafe shifted back into his human form.
Michael tilted his head when he was lying on his back, panting, completely naked, “There you are. I figured threatening to fight you for Zo might bring you back around.”
“Not fighting you for her.” Rafe sucked in a gulp of air through his teeth and narrowed his eyes on his not so little brother, “She’s mine.”
“Yeah?” Michael raised an eyebrow. “Prove it. Come home with me and do right by her. She’s your mate. She’s supposed to come first. Even before me, brother.”
Rafe lowered his eyes, “I saw you laying there, bloody and hurt and I…”
“I know, but it doesn’t matter now. We can deal with that. We can talk pack politics and going after the ones that came onto our land. We’ll figure out how to coexist as two Moirae Alphas on pack land. We’re family and we can figure all of that out later. Right now, Zoey comes first.”
“From now on.” Rafe nodded his agreement, “From now on she comes first. I’ll do better. I swear I will.”
“I’m going to hold you to that.”
“Good. I’m glad we finally agree on something.”
Michael chuckled and pushed up from the log he’d been sitting on, “Brought you some clothes, I don’t really want to walk all the way back to the lodge pretending you’re not balling out.”
Rafe smiled. He smiled and it felt like for the first time, his heart was full of hope again. Love, again. He loved his brother and he loved Zoey. He just had to hope that when he got back to town that the damage he had done wasn’t irreparable. He had to hope that she loved him enough to forgive him.
And hope was a strangely foreign emotion.
Chapter 25
Zoey could actually see the path in the grass that she’d worn down from all her pacing. Michael had left her hours ago to go looking for Rafe. She’d tried to go with him but he’d ordered her to stay put.
Ordered!
Michael had given her an order and as her Alpha, she had to follow it. Which pissed her off to no end. Whenever he showed his stupid, arrogant, bossy ass back up she was going to give him a piece of her mind. She’d been his best friend far longer than she’d been a member of his pack.
And Rafe was her mate. Hers. Sure he was Michael’s brother but mate trumped brother.
She rubbed her hands up and down her arms as she paced. She should be out there. Looking for Rafe. Tracking him down. Finding
her mate and making sure he was okay so that she could rip him apart herself for going off alone during an attack.
Jesus, Zoey swallowed hard around the knot in her throat.
They’d been attacked. Another pack had come onto Moirae land and injured members of the pack. They’d gone after Michael. Taken him down. Tried to take him out. It had been a measured and deliberate act of violence. They’d wanted to kill Michael. They could have. And even though he was out there in the woods, walking around, a new scar on his arm and only a few bruises to show thanks to his superhuman genes, she couldn’t shake the thought of how close she’d come to losing him.
How close she’d come to losing them both.
She loved them. Both of them. She loved Michael as her best friend, as the brother she’d sworn she never would. She loved him with the pure, undiluted innocence of the girl she’d been. And she loved Rafe as her mate and her lover, her fate and her destiny. She loved him with her whole heart and soul, her entire being and two sides of her self. She loved them and she’d almost lost them.
Her wolf whined and clawed at her insides. She didn’t want to think about that. She wanted to be out there, in the woods, on their scent. She wanted to find the wolves that had attacked her family and rip them to shreds. And she only consoled herself that she would, once she knew her men were safe.
“Zoey, why don’t you…”
She whirled at the sound of her name and hissed, “So help me Darius if you tell me I should go inside and relax I’m going to claw your eyes out.”
The Enforcer didn’t even flinch from his position on the steps of the lodge where he’d been standing the entire time she paced. His lips turned down at the corners even more than usual, something she hadn’t known was possible. He always looked annoyed and disapproving but this time she didn’t take it personally.