Beginning to Breathe, Again (Feral Steel MC Book 2)

by Vera Quinn

  “Eat and you can go home.” I think about what he said. I don’t really have a home. I can’t stop the tears. Rome moves over beside me and tries to dry the tears running down my face.

  I need to make Rome understand. “I wasn’t given the fairytale family. Everyone doesn’t get that lucky. I have learned to enjoy the good and deal with the bad as it comes. I am holding on as tightly as I can. If I let go, I may never quit falling.” I can’t quit crying. Rome pulls me gently into his arms.

  “Tara, I will always catch you from this day forward. Never doubt it.” Rome kisses my lips quickly. Too quickly. I want more. “I didn’t have a perfect family either but life is what we make it. Our family is who we make it. I have a club full of family now, and it isn’t perfect, but few things in life are. We are our family. The Feral Steel MC is our family. Devil and his family are our family. We are rich in the family department, you’ll see. Now dry these tears up and eat so we can get you some fresh air.” Rome gives me another quick kiss.

  I look at food and decide I want out of here so I will just eat it. I finish most of it and let Rome eat the rest so it looks like I finished everything. There is another knock on the door. The nurse walks in and looks at my tray.

  “Looks like you are serious about wanting out of here. I am here to take that IV out. Are you ready?” Is she kidding? This thing is making my hand hurt. “Do you have clothes to wear home or is someone bringing you something?” I hadn’t even thought about it. Mildred brought me some clothes but it was jeans.

  “I brought you some sweats and a t-shirt in case you weren’t ready for jeans yet. I bought you a pair of flip flops, too.” I look at Rome. He must see the questions in my eyes. “They are in the bag. Mildred gave me your sizes from your other clothes. I guessed on the sweats. I’ll get Callie to take you shopping to get some other things in a few days, until then I will keep your things washed.” I’m not used to this kind of treatment. I am used to taking care of myself. I can’t remember the last time someone bought me something.

  “Thank you. That is sweet of you.” I tell Rome.

  “Everything is under the phone. I am going to step out and make sure Devil is on the way. I’ll be right outside the door.” Rome leans over me and kisses my forehead. I see the nurse eyeing his ass. I want to hit her but that would just be rude.

  “Alright. I’ll be right here.” I tell Rome. He walks out.

  “You are one lucky woman. A man that sits with you in the hospital and shops for you. Not many like that out there.” Maybe I won’t hurt her. She seems sincere. “Let me see that hand so we can get this done.” I put my hand out and look the other way.

  In a few short hours, I will be out of here and ready to start a new chapter in my life. I don’t know if I am ready for it but I am going to hold on and enjoy the hell out it while I can.

  Chapter 24

  Rome/Kane

  I am pacing outside in the hall waiting for the nurse to be finished with Tara. I have texted Devil and he is on his way in his SUV. That is going to be the most comfortable way for Tara to get back to the clubhouse. Callie is coming to the hospital with Devil so the ride to the clubhouse won’t be uncomfortable for Tara. Callie and Tara seemed alright with each other when Callie visited before. I hadn’t thought about Tara being released from the hospital so soon or I would have just borrowed Devil’s cage when I left this morning. No man rides my bike but me, so me riding with Tara won’t be happening. She’ll be fine with Devil and Callie. I am waiting for a call back from Oz. I have a surprise for Tara and I am hoping it still works out. I thought we would have more time to set it up but Oz works miracles so I know he will get the kinks worked out. I see Devil and Callie walking up the hall.

  “Why are you out in the hall?” Devil asks me.

  “The nurse is taking Tara’s IV out and helping her dress.” Devil laughs. “What?”

  “Isn’t undressing and dressing Tara your job now?” I don’t respond. My phone is vibrating. I take it out of my pocket and it is a text from Oz. We are good to go on the surprise. I knew Oz would work it out.

  “Leave your brother alone. It’s nice of Kane to give Tara some privacy.” Callie says nice. I say self-preservation. Having to get on my bike with a hard cock is not comfortable.

  “Whatever. I get a chance to see my woman with no clothes, I am taking it.” Devil pulls Callie to him and swats her ass. “I need a word with you anyway. I sent the prospects home. They needed some sleep. Creole is outside waiting by the SUV.” Devil stops then looks at me again. “What would you think about Tara working at the clubhouse until we have the apartments ready? That way she would be where you can keep an eye on her but she still makes a paycheck. Callie said when she talked to Tara it was important to her to make her own way. We need someone to work the bar. It’s not hard. She can do our orders we need done and work the hours she’s able. We’re going to be short some prospects until we get new recruits. Tara gets a paycheck and we get the help we need. Win-win situation. It’s not like she needs to mix drinks just stock the coolers with beer and set up shots.” Devil looks for my reaction but I am still thinking it over. “When the apartments are ready, if she wants the manager job, it comes with an apartment for the two of you. I just wanted to talk to you before speaking with Tara.” I know my next words are not going to be what Devil thinks he is going to hear but I need to speak my piece.

  “Devil, I appreciate that but any job prospects need to be run by Tara first.” Devil starts to say something but I keep going. “I see how your and Callie’s relationship works, and I understand the dynamics of a relationship in the club, but Tara’s and my relationship will be a bit different.” Devil laughs and I think I heard a small laugh out of Callie. “I will discuss with Tara that she must respect the clubhouse and the members. I will also explain that I cannot share everything that goes on in the club with her. Club business is no one else’s business. The relationship between Tara and I is also no one else’s business. I will expect respect from Tara but I will give respect back to Tara. It is very important to Tara to pay her own way and get her education. That’s something to respect. I claimed Tara and that means she is mine and I will care for her and protect her but her employment decisions are made by her. If this relationship is going to work, then this is the way it needs to be and I don’t have a problem with that.”

  “Well damn, Rome, that is the most I have heard out of you at one time since I have known you. I was just going to say that it is a good idea. You have thought this relationship out and that is a good thing.” Devil looks impressed.

  “Rome, your relationship is going to go a lot easier than ours was in the first year. It took Kylar nearly two years to get his head out of his butt and sometimes I still need to give him a good kick.” This time Callie does laugh.

  “I just don’t think that Tara should be the only one to compromise. I’m sure we’ll have some bumps along the way but I am trying to keep an open mind.” I want this to work. I am not going to put hard demands on Tara and not expect to need to change along with her.

  “I hope you are ready for all the brothers to ride your ass, because they will be.” Devil jokes with me.

  “I’m man enough to take it and if it pisses me off then I will take the issue up with whoever is ragging on me. Payback is a bitch.” The door to Tara’s room opens and the nurse walks out and gives me a smile.

  “I just need to get her prescriptions and Ms. Blount is ready.” The nurse is a little too friendly until Callie walks closer to me.

  “Can you get those prescriptions, now?” Callie isn’t impressed by the way the nurse is eyeing Devil. “Right now, or do I need to get someone else to get them?”

  “I wouldn’t mess with my woman when she has that tone. She’s fixing to flip her shit.” Devil tells the nurse. The woman flips her hair over her shoulder and stomps off. I push open the door and Tara is sitting on the edge of her bed. I see she has stacked everything of hers in the bag I brought in.

 
; “Do you have your phone in your pocket?” Tara smiles at me. I love it when she smiles.

  “Right here.” Tara answers. “I can’t shower without a shower cap for a few days. Don’t let me forget. The nurse gave me a couple to take home, I mean, to the clubhouse.”

  “You had it right the first time. It’s home now.” I tell Tara. “You are riding in Devil’s SUV but I will be right behind you on my bike.”

  “I can ride with you.” Tara argues.

  “No. Remember, you’re supposed to take it easy.” I see Tara deflate.

  “Alright, you’re right.” Tara agrees with me. Callie giggles. Yes. Giggles.

  “What in the hell? She’s your woman less that forty-eight hours and she does what she is told. Maybe I need to try this compromise thing. Callie never listens to me.” Devil is only half serious.

  “Maybe you should.” Callie is laughing until the door opens. The nurse sullenly walks to Tara and hands her the prescriptions.

  “Ms. Blount, you are ready to go.” She turns and leaves.

  “Think it was something I said?” Callie says it with a serious face but she busts out laughing when she is finished.

  “Let’s get out of here before Callie gets security called on us.” I pick up Tara’s bag and we start out the door and a woman comes in with a wheelchair.

  “Ms. Blount, it’s hospital policy that you get to ride out of here.” Tara sits in the chair and we make our way to the elevator. The ride down is quiet and Devil runs ahead of us when we get on the bottom floor so he can bring the SUV around. Devil is sitting there when we get to the front door. I help Callie in and then I turn to Tara and help her in. I put her bag in the back seat beside her and give her a quick kiss.

  “I will be right behind you. I have a surprise for you when we get to the clubhouse.” Tara smiles again.

  “You are spoiling me. You don’t need to keep giving me gifts.” Tara doesn’t know how sweet she looks.

  “I didn’t buy you anything. I have another kind of surprise for you.” I shut the door before she can ask anything. I’m not sure I wouldn’t tell her. I run the best I can to my bike. Creole is sitting beside mine on his own bike.

  “Good to see you smile, brother. It’s been a long time coming.” Am I smiling? I nod my head at Creole and mount my bike.

  I see Devil is waiting for us. I motion Creole to take the lead, Devil pulls out and then I follow. This is one ride that can’t go fast enough. The twenty- minute ride goes by fast and I scan the club parking lot as Cowboy opens the gate. It’s close to empty this time of day. Everyone is working somewhere for the club. I see Rix and Cricket are still here along with Tito and Oz.

  I also see Slick’s bike and Gertie’s truck but the one car I didn’t want to see is here also. It means Terrance and Honey Girl are here. I just hope she keeps her distance. I park my bike close to Devil’s SUV. I dismount my bike and get to Tara’s door just as she is opening it.

  “I’ve got this.” I reach over her and pick up the bag and give Tara my other hand to help her out. “Easy.” I let her step down and I have the urge to pick her up and carry her but I fight it. I lead her into the clubhouse with Callie and Devil, Creole behind us. As soon as we are inside Oz is there.

  “Little Bit, how are you feeling?” Oz asks Tara. I need to ask Tara about the name Oz is calling her. No one calls my woman something I don’t know about. Oz looks at me. “Devil let me set up in his office.” Tara looks at me.

  “It’s my surprise. Just follow Oz.” Tara does. I follow behind. When Tara gets into the room she sees Oz has his laptop set up. Oz goes to the laptop and does his thing.

  “Hey, Sgt. Blount. Look at you all clean cut. Tara is here and she is wanting to speak to her little brother.” I look at Tara to see what her reaction is. There are tears in her eyes. I didn’t mean to make her cry.

  Oz gets up from the chair and motions Tara over to sit. Tara goes and sits and a radiant smile crosses her face. I want to give her space to have this conversation with her brother but the tears rolling down her face are gutting me. I decide to sit on the edge of the desk so she knows I am near. I try not to eaves drop but Oz and I both hear the conversation.

  “Little Bit, you look like shit. Are you doing alright? Oz let me know a little about what is going on. If you need some money I can send it. I am too busy to spend much of what I have made with all my classes and training. If it had been a week later I would have been deployed. I leave in three days.” Joey tells Tara. Tara tries to control her tears.

  “Well, thanks for the huge compliment.” Tara tells her brother while trying to control the tears.

  “Do you need me to try and get some emergency leave? I’m not sure if I can but I’ll try.” When Tara hears that, she sits up straight and wipes the tears a way.

  “No, Joey. You are right where you belong and doing exactly what you have always wanted to do. I’ll make it. I don’t need or want your money, either. Save it. You never know what is going to happen tomorrow.” Tara sounds a lot older than her years.

  “I sent an email. I didn’t get a response and I was getting worried and then Oz reached out.” Joey tells Tara.

  “When I get back to school I’ll get it. Will we be able to email or will you give me an address to write to again?” Tara asks her brother. “It seems like so long since I have seen your face. I have missed you. You’re my only sane family.”

  “I may be able to get an email or two out but I am going overseas, so if you get a chance, send me a box occasionally, with the supplies like last time. Once I get there I will know more about what is hard to get my hands on and I will send a list and my address. It’s a year deployment. Don’t run yourself short on money, only what you can afford and I will reimburse you when I get home. Oz gave me your phone number so I will try to call, too. He said the number might change but he’ll get me the number if it does.” Joey treats Tara differently than her mom and sister.

  “I can afford to mail my baby brother a box every month while he serves our country. No reimbursement necessary. I love and miss you, Joey.” Tara is fighting tears again.

  “Little Bit, don’t cry. I should be taking better care of you. It didn’t even occur to me to get you a phone and why didn’t you tell me how bad the situation with mom and Sheila had gotten? I could have tried to talk to them, not that it would do any good but I would have tried. I don’t even know how we are related to them two. Now, tell me about this man in your life. Does he treat you right? Don’t put up with no shit.” Joey is the concerned brother, as he should be. I understand it. “Oz told me he is one of his club brothers. I bet mom loved that.”

  “I’m an adult, Joey. I am the only one responsible for me. Mom does not like the idea of me being with Rome but after the stunts she has pulled, her opinion does not matter to me. After everything Liam did she still tried me to get out of the hospital and to go and see him so he could supposedly apologize.” Tara realizes what she said and she looks concerned.

  “Oz explained what happened. Liam needs taken care of and don’t you go anywhere with Mom or Sheila. You take care of you. Mom has no room to talk. Our dad is a biker.” Tara looks shocked.

  “You know who our dad is? I have never heard mom say one word about our dad. Who is he and how long have you known?” Joey looks like he doesn’t want to answer. “I have a right to know who my dad is.”

  “Mom has shoe box full of pictures in her bedroom closet back behind all them damn shoes. I was playing in there one day and found it. I didn’t think anything of it. One night when you were working and Sheila was out, I came home and mom was drunk and on the couch looking at the pictures. I asked her who the man was she was sitting on the bike with. She told me it was the damn asshole that kept knocking her up and then running back to Texas. That’s when I started getting into bikes and mom hated it. She never even remembered telling me. I looked him up, his name is Bourbon Black.” As soon as that name is out of Joey’s mouth I walk over so he can see me.


  “Did you say Bourbon Black?” Joey sits up a little straighter.

  “Who are you?” Joey asks.

  “Joey, this is Rome. Uh he is my…” Tara doesn’t know what to say.

  “I’m Tara’s man. Did you say Bourbon Black?” Joey relaxes a little but not much.

  “Does it matter? It’s family business.” Joey doesn’t want to give it up.

  “Then I will contact Bourbon and ask him.” That shocks both Joey and Tara. Joey seems to think it over. I look at Oz and he is texting and I know it is Devil he is texting.

  “Mom said that Bourbon and she had an eight year on again, off again relationship. Mom lived in Texas when it started and she stayed there through her pregnancy with Sheila. She even stayed there until she was pregnant with you. They had a falling out over his club, the BlackPath MC, and she moved to Oklahoma. He still came for visits until she got pregnant with me. That’s all she told me. She passed out. I carried her to bed and put the box where she kept it hidden. I googled him and there was only his record and other court records. I decided if he was still alive I would look him up when I get out of the service. No need to start something I can’t follow through with. I was going to tell you when I came home and give you the choice of whether to meet him or not. His last known address is in Oklahoma not far from where you live. I always wondered if mom knew where he is and didn’t tell us.” Joey looks at his watch. “Little Bit, I hate to cut this short but I have to be in formation soon. I love you, sis.”

  “I love you too, Joey, and thank you. I won’t forget your care packages. Now, go before you’re late.” The screen goes blank and Oz moves in and takes the laptop.

  “You know Bourbon Black? Do you know where he lives? I’d like to find out if he is my dad, if he is willing.” I don’t know exactly how to handle this.