Beginning to Breathe, Again (Feral Steel MC Book 2)

by Vera Quinn

  If that wasn’t enough of a mystery, then Devil rushed us back to the clubhouse and asked me to remain in Rome’s room. He said Gertie would bring me some lunch so I could take my medicine and then rest. Devil wasn’t rude but persistent that I stay in the room.

  Then when Gertie brought me the lunch she wouldn’t make eye contact. She wasn’t her normal chatty self and no smiles. I know something is going on. I ate, took my medicine, and then napped.

  It’s getting dark outside and nothing. I thought Rome would be back by now. I kept the chips that went with my sandwich so I am going to eat them and take my meds again. Maybe if I sleep again for a while Rome will be back. I eat the chips and take my time and then take my medicine. I get up and go to Rome’s dresser to get a t-shirt and a pair of his boxers.

  I see a set of military ID tags. I pick them up and see they belong to Rome. I put them back. I don’t want Rome to think I am being nosey. I make my way into the bathroom and take a quick shower and come back to the bed and curl up like I did last night but this time Rome isn’t here to feel beside me. I inhale his scent off the pillow and I drift off to a peaceful place…

  I jump when I hear the door shut. I wipe my eyes trying to get the sleep out of them but I would have never expected the scene before me when my eyes finally focus.

  Rome is standing at the end of the bed and the first thing I see is the blood on his shirt. My first thought is Rome is hurt. Rome takes his cut off and puts it on the dresser. I watch every move. I jump out of the bed and go to him. I am looking for a wound or something but I can’t find where he is bleeding. “Are you alright? What happened? Where are you hurt?” I know I am bombarding Rome with questions and I am not giving him a chance to answer.

  “It’s not my blood.” Rome is scaring me. He’s too calm. “Let me take a quick shower and then we need to talk.” I nod my head.

  Rome walks over to his dresser and grabs a pair of boxers. He walks into the bathroom. This is not registering with me and I am still afraid he is hurt. I’m not letting him out of my sight. I follow him into the bathroom. He reaches inside the shower and turns the water on.

  I go to him and pull the t-shirt over his head. I want to make sure for myself he is not hurt. I don’t stop there. I unbutton his jeans and push them and his boxers down at the same time. Examining every inch of him as I go. He toes his boots off and moves them out of the way. He steps out of his pants and bends down and takes his socks off. I pick up his boots and take them into the other room so they don’t get wet. He has stepped into the shower so I pick up his clothes and throw them by the clothes basket, not wanting the bloody clothes with our other clothes.

  Rome has closed the shower curtain but I don’t want it closed. I need to see his body. I pull the shower curtain back and he is standing there under the water. He pulls me by the hand under the water and hugs me to him. I hug him back and he brings his mouth to mine and consumes me with smoldering kiss but it is charged with desperation. The kiss takes my breath away but I pull back. I need to see Rome’s eyes and he lets me, but the pain I see there makes me catch my breath. It hurts me to my soul.

  My man is hurting and I can’t stand it. I rub my hand down his back. I barely hear what Rome says. “Just hold me, Tara. I need to hold you to make sure you are okay.” His hand goes to my wet shirt right over my heart. “I need to feel your heart beat.”

  “I’m here for you. It’s going to be alright. No matter what, it is going to be okay. We will get through it together, I promise.” I try to make Rome feel the truth in my words.

  “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Tara. You haven’t seen what I’ve seen. I need to tell you, sometimes I have anxiety attacks from my PTSD. I have nightmares that haunt me. I have medicine that I must take at times. I’m not a whole man.” That’s the stupidest thing I have ever heard.

  “We’ll deal with it. Is the PTSD from your time in the military? I saw your ID tags in your dresser today. I wasn’t snooping. They were just there.” I ask Rome. I was going to ask him about them when he got here.

  “Yes.” Is all Rome says.

  “We’ll deal with it. It’s that easy.” Rome looks at me and then hugs me tight.

  “Tara, I’m falling in love with you but I am a flawed man. Can you live with that?” Rome sounds sad.

  “We’re all flawed Rome. In one way or another. It’s what makes us human.” Rome pushes me back so he can look in my eyes.

  “I hope you mean that, babe. You have become important to me in a short time and I don’t know how to explain it but I’ll be damned if I let you go.” Rome kisses the top of my head. “Get out and get some dry clothes on. What we need to talk about is serious. I’ll be out in just a few minutes.”

  “Rome, you have become important to me too, and I can’t imagine not having you in my life now. It’s like I was just existing until I met you and now, I am truly living. Thank you.” I talk to Rome from my heart. I just hope he doesn’t break it.

  I leave him to shower and grab a towel to dry off and then go into the bedroom to find dry clothes. I get changed and sit on the end of the bed. I know whatever Rome needs to tell me is bad and I think it might change us forever. Whatever Rome experienced today killed a part of him and I just hope I can revive it with the love that is beginning in my heart for him.

  Chapter 29

  Kane/Rome

  I get out of the shower and towel off and slip my boxers on. I look at myself in the mirror. I didn’t think they were ever going to release us from the police department. Bourbon showing up and throwing his weight around was not making the cops go any faster. If the woman across the hall had not been a nosey neighbor, we probably would still be there.

  The neighbor heard the commotion and she said it sounded like things were being thrown against the wall and glass was breaking but it all happened before we arrived. Thank god for nosey old women.

  Sheila’s bedroom was torn apart. The mattress was even ripped open. The sheets were ripped apart. Anything glass or breakable looked like they had been thrown against the wall. Blood was smeared on the wall. Sheila’s body was covered with blood and bruises. She fought the man that took her life. No, the monster that took her life. She was raped and broken. The man the neighbor described was Liam Davis. The cops didn’t share that information. Rye made a trip back to pay the neighbor a visit. I was worried what he might have done but he said he paid her to take a vacation.

  Rye and Bourbon both made the trip here and they aren’t leaving until the DNA results are back. Bourbon is paying a big sum to have it done by tomorrow for Tara’s and by the end of the week for Sheila’s. That one is tricky since they have to pay someone to steal her DNA from the morgue. I don’t agree with their methods but if it gets results, then it is necessary.

  I know I must go and talk to Tara. I don’t know how to tell her that her sister was murdered by the same man that attacked her. We should have dealt with Liam but the right side of the law is also the slow side. I am going to break my woman’s heart and then tell her she will be meeting the man that may be her dad as soon as we walk out of this room. I’ve put it off for as long as I can. I walk out to the bedroom and Tara is sitting on the end of the bed. I go over and sit beside her.

  “Little Bit,” I wait to see how Tara reacts to me calling her by her nickname. She smiles. I like it. “Today when you went to have your DNA test I told you I had an errand to run for the club and that was true.” I look at Tara and she is asking me to go on with her eyes, so I do.

  “That errand was to pay your sister a visit and tell her Bourbon wanted her to take a DNA test. Bourbon wants to know if your sister and brother are his children, too. Hacksaw and I went over to her apartment. Your mom was drunk and belligerent. She said that Liam had dumped Sheila. Then Lena was going on about her time with Bourbon.”

  I looked to make sure Tara was paying attention and she was. I am not about to give Tara the horrible words that Lena said. Only what she needs to know. “Lena was on the co
uch going on and she said that Sheila and Liam had a fight. While I kept your mom talking Hacksaw checked the bedrooms. Liam attacked Sheila.” I look at Tara, who looks in shock. “Sheila didn’t make it. I tried giving her CPR but she couldn’t be revived.” Tara starts to say something and stops and then starts again.

  “Was that Sheila’s blood?” Tara asks and the tears start down her face.

  “Yeah, babe, it was. I tried. I tried my best.” I tell her.

  “My last words with Sheila was us arguing. How can she be gone? She has so much more to do in life.” Tara is inconsolable. I try to pull her to me but she turns away from me and buries her face in the bed. I can’t stand my woman hurting so bad. It’s ripping my soul out.

  I pick Tara up and put her in my lap. She puts her arms around my neck and cries. Her body is shuddering and it is wracked with pain. I keep kissing her head. “I loved my sister even though we didn’t like each other all the time. I always loved her. Where’s my mom? Is she alright? You said she was drunk. I need to go and take care of her. She can’t be by herself.” As hateful as that woman is to her daughter, Tara still thinks about her.

  “When the cops released Hacksaw and me from questioning, your mom was gone. We looked for her and she is nowhere to be found.” I tell Tara truthfully.

  “Why did the police question you and Hacksaw?” Tara questions me.

  “When the paramedics got there, I was doing CPR on Sheila. I had a mild anxiety attack afterwards. The cops witnessed it and the blood covering my shirt. I would have questioned me, too. I would still be there if it hadn’t been for your neighbor across the hall telling the cops that the noise had stopped before we ever arrived. Your mom was no help. We have no idea how long Liam had been gone before we arrived. Your mom was drinking herself into a stupor. She didn’t even know Sheila had been attacked. She thought the two had just had a fight and broke up. When Hacksaw found Sheila, she wasn’t breathing.” Tara’s tears are still running down her face.

  “Mom blamed me.” First Tara says it as a statement and then she looks at me. “Did mom blame me?” I won’t lie to Tara.

  “Babe, your mom was so drunk she didn’t know what she was saying but she did blame you. I’m sorry, you had nothing to do with this.” The devastation is written all over Tara’s face.

  “What do I do now? I have no money to bury my sister. How do I get in touch with Joey? I’ve never done this before.” I hug Tara.

  “We are going to get through this together. I am your family. The Feral Steel is also your family and you are going to learn what a family is really like now. We will all do this together. Oz was trying to get in touch with Joey so he can get a bereavement leave. As soon as morning gets here, we will be able to do more. I should say later in the morning. It’s after midnight.”

  I kiss the top of Tara’s head and hug her to me. I am trying to give her strength for the next shock. “Bourbon and his brother Rye are here. They are waiting to meet you in the common room. Your DNA test is going to be here later today. He’s paying the right people to get it done. He’s also going to have Sheila’s done and then Joey’s when he gets home. He wants to know if you three are his children. I would tell you the story he told me but I think that is between you two.”

  “I don’t know if I can. It’s too much, so fast. Have they found Liam?” Tara asks me.

  “Not yet but he will be dealt with.” Tara is nodding her head yes. Everything still hasn’t soaked in. “I need you to get dressed and come out to meet Bourbon and Rye. Then we can come back and get a few hours of sleep.” Tara just nods.

  I go to my dresser and grab a t-shirt and two pairs of my sweats. They’ll swallow Tara but they’ll do for now. I dress myself and then I dress Tara. She is still in shock. The tears are still silently running down her cheeks. We skip shoes but I grab my keys. We walk into the hall and I lock my door. We walk up the hall and out into the common room.

  I see Devil is sitting with Bourbon and Rye. Callie is sitting in Devil’s lap. The rest of the brothers must be in their rooms or out looking for Lena because this place is bare. Tara is walking slowly beside me so I put my arm around her. I go up to the table where Devil and Callie are sitting and take the chair next to them. I pull Tara into my lap. Bourbon and Rye are across from us and they are staring at Tara.

  “Sweet Jesus, you look just like our mother. Your hair is lighter but your facial features are so familiar. Do you know who I am?” Tara looks at me. I rub her back trying to reassure her.

  “No sir, I don’t.” Tara gets out. Callie reaches her hand over to Tara and Tara takes it and gives Callie a small smile.

  “I’m Bourbon Black and I am betting that I am your pop. This is my brother, Rye.” Bourbon is always intimidating to most people but he is quieter with Tara.

  “She does resemble Grandma Sue. I see it now.” Callie says.

  “Is Bourbon your birth name or club name?” Tara asks Bourbon. Not an unusual question but not the one I thought she would ask. Bourbon and Rye both laugh.

  “A little of both. My dad had a love for alcohol so ma named us after the thing our pop loved. Our other brother’s name was Whiskey. Bless our ma’s heart, she loved that man.” I don’t know who is more amused by the way Bourbon is talking, me or Devil. This is not Bourbon’s way. “Who did that to your head, Liam Davis?”

  “Yes.” Tara stops and the tears roll down her face. She wipes them away to be replaced by more. “He killed my sister. I don’t know what is going on anymore. It’s all happening too fast. I don’t know what to do but I know I need to clean it up.” Tara hesitates to a stop but then continues. “I don’t know how. Can you help me? Just tell me what to do.” Bourbon gets up from his chair and walks around to us. He helps Tara stand up and then he hugs her. She falls apart in his arms. Bourbon continues to hold Tara until she finally quietens.

  “I promise you I am going to take care of it. You will not need to do a thing, I swear.” Bourbon says through gritted teeth.

  “You have our word and you can take that to the bank.” Rye continues. Tara looks like she is going to fall.

  “Tara needs to go lay down. She’s exhausted.” I tell everyone. Bourbon and Rye both glare at me.

  “Tara, are you happy here? Do you want to be with Rome?” Bourbon asks her. I hold my breath.

  “Yes, I want to be with Rome wherever he is. He has become my best friend and I am his woman.” I let the breath out I was holding. My heart just swells in my chest.

  “Callie, will you go and stay with Tara until Rome gets there? We need to have a word with Devil and Rome.” Callie looks at Devil. He nods yes. Callie stands. She goes to Bourbon first and gives him a hug and then Rye. “Thank you, Baby Girl.” Bourbon tells her.

  I stand and give Tara a hug and a kiss on the head. She hugs me back hard and then lifts onto her toes and gives me a salty kiss and then turns and goes with Callie. We make sure they are down the hall and can’t hear.

  “If that girl is not mine she is either Rye’s or Whiskey’s. There’s no denying how she resembles our ma. The test will be done by late this afternoon. It cost me a mint but it will be in my hand. Doesn’t matter which one she belongs to, she is family. We take care of family. Devil, I know this is Feral Steel territory and I don’t want to piss you off but this bastard, Liam Davis, is dead and he is dead at my hands.” Bourbon has lost his soft voice.

  “And mine.” Rye says.

  “The Feral Steel are working a plan and by the end of next week we should have him and his gang neutralized.” Devil doesn’t give an inch.

  “That’s too long. He’s going to be in the wind. He’s assaulted one woman and killed another one. I don’t want him working on his tan in a country with no extradition.” Rye is trying to hold his temper.

  “We need to take them all out at once or they crawl into a hole somewhere and come back out later. We need to be smart. Liam is going to face club justice and the rest go to prison.” I add to the conversation.

  “Giv
e us the okay to take care of it and before Tara’s sister is in the ground they will all be gone, including Durfee.” Bourbon hits the table. “If it was one of your sons sitting in the morgue wouldn’t you want to taste their blood? Know that you sent the bastards to ground? Would you let anyone else take care of it?” Devil looks at both the men.

  “What if Sheila isn’t your daughter?” Devil asks.

  “Consider it a personal favor from our club to yours. You’ve cleaned this club up and this way you keep your hands clean. No blow back!” Rye is as pissed as Bourbon. Devil is considering it.

  “I owe Liam for what he did to my woman.” All three men look at me.

  “Consider yourself lucky Tara is still alive. She could be in that morgue beside her sister. If we screw up, then he is all yours. You need to be with Tara. That girl is falling apart. I want this done before their brother gets here. There is no need for him to ruin his military career. What would you do if you came home and one of your sisters had been beat and the other is dead? Would you just put her in the ground and go back to work? If we take care of this now, all of this can be avoided. Then maybe Tara and the boy can go on with their lives after they mourn.” I can understand Bourbon’s point. I see Devil does, too.

  “You tell Liam that I am coming for him and hell is on my heels.” I want his neck in my hands.

  “He’ll be in hell before the words are out of my mouth.” Rye promises.

  “Rome, get the brothers in church. We need a vote.” I know Devil is making the right decision.

  “One more thing, we get Lena.” Rye states.

  “Rome, knock on doors. I’ll text the rest.” Rye doesn’t get his answer and if Devil tells him yes. I don’t want to know until later. I don’t want to lie to Tara but in this case, I would. She doesn’t need to know.