Falling In Between

by Devon Ashley

  A (very satisfying) month later, we were graduating. Turns out I did snag a few scholarships for college – at least enough to cover my expenses at a junior college. So when Robert decided on Yale, he asked me to come with him. What’s one junior college versus another, right? I still had two years to figure out which major university to finish my degree at. And by then, who knows where we’d be as a couple, though I hoped still together.

  I spent the week after graduation with Robert’s family in Connecticut. His mom was friendly enough and she did seem to like me, but I got the distinct feeling I wasn’t what she had in mind for her son. Nor did I believe she ever thought our relationship would extend beyond our academy days.

  When I called him on it, Robert admitted something he had kept to himself since we began dating. His mother wanted him to date the daughter of a family they were close to. And his mother was frustrated cause the daughter had openly admitted she had an interest in dating Robert. And when he told me her name and that she went to Pennington with us, I just about died.

  “Anne Bridgeway?!” I cried.

  I had always thought that the startled look she gave me that night in the boy’s hall was cause she got caught by a fellow classmate. Now I knew it was cause she not only knew I was dating the guy she wanted, but we were familiar enough to be sneaking into each other’s room at night. And then I remembered how happy and friendly she was to me at prom. Man, I bet it really ticked her off when he showed up in a tux matching my dress. And I was willing to bet she was one of the girl’s Jhett mentioned, who made their interest known, but who Robert blew off.

  “Why didn’t you tell me about her before?”

  “Who cares about Anne? I can’t stand girls that play stupid games.”

  “What games?”

  “You remember seeing her in the hall that night? Did you notice how the teachers did a random sweep of the rooms half an hour later?”

  “You think she tipped off the teachers?” I asked, still doubtful any student would do that.

  “I called her on it. She didn’t admit to it, but sending them an anonymous tip about a girl going into a boy’s room sounds exactly like something she’d do. Why do you think she dated the guy across the hall?”

  I shrugged. I didn’t even know who lived in that room or which guy Anne had been dating that whole time.

  “Do you have any idea the number of times she just happened to leave that room at five thirty in the morning? Just when Jhett and I were leaving for practice? And right after you asked for a break and we spent a few days apart, suddenly she felt her relationship wasn’t right and dumped the guy.”

  “She seriously slept with him just to bump into you every morning?”

  “I don’t care what she was or wasn’t doing in that room. I can’t begin to tell you how much I don’t care. She even tried to get me to go to prom with her as friends, since we both happened to be single at the time.”

  I crossed my arms playfully. “You told her you were single?”

  “I didn’t tell her anything period. I said no and left it at that.”

  “Jeesh, Robert. Am I gonna be able to leave you alone for the summer?”

  He chuckled and slowly began pushing me back towards the wall. “That’s right. Dating me is going to take a little effort on your part.”

  “Oh, I can’t believe you just threw those words back at me.”

  He cocked his eyebrows as his body firmly pressed up against mine. “You re-thinking that whole cell phone plan now? Cause if you’re asking if Anne will be stopping by with her family this summer, I guarantee it. Every weekend. I hear she’s even considering Yale.”

  I gripped the top of his shoulders and said, “Now you’re just being mean.”

  “You can still stay here with me for the summer. Plenty of room.”

  “No. I want this. I need this. Besides, if I can’t trust you to deal with Anne on your own, then there’s not a whole lot of point moving forward in our relationship.”

  His lips reached out for mine and my hands gripped the back of his head as his hands slipped in tight behind my back. We were still in that position when his mother opened the door to the media room. Our bodies pushed away automatically. I wasn’t sure who was more embarrassed, me or her.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, clearly a little uncomfortable. “Dinner’s almost ready.” She actually said those last two words a little slower than expected. For some reason, the necklace around my neck really drew her in, and when her eyes were done analyzing that, they honed in on me.

  “We’ll be down in a minute, Mom,” Robert replied softly.

  Her gaze shifted to him and she seemed almost dumbfounded. And she was incredibly slow to leave.

  “Robert,” I said slowly, focusing tight on his eyes, “please tell me this is costume jewelry around my neck and not some family heirloom.”

  He sighed and slowly dropped his head as far back as it would go. I gave him time to come back up, but only cause I was really starting to fear his answer. Please tell me I wasn’t ignorantly wearing some thousand dollar necklace all semester long. When he straightened back out again, he leaned his shoulder against the wall beside me.

  “The stone was my grandmother’s on my father’s side. He was an only child and he only had boys, so she split her jewelry between me and Reynold. My mother was only staring because she recognizes it.”

  Well, when he put it that way, it didn’t sound too bad. Which is why I knew his explanation had more holes than freakin’ Swiss cheese. “Uh-huh. Robert…what kind of stone is it?”

  He pressed his lips together so tightly they practically disappeared. Very quietly, he begged, “Please don’t ask me to answer that.”

  A groan escaped my throat and my hands rushed to cover my face as it fell. When I found the strength to emerge, I shook my head and whined, “Robert, no. There’s no going back now. You have to tell me why your mother was looking at us like that. You can’t keep me in the dark.”

  “I’ll tell you but you’re not going to like it.”

  I huffed and blurted, “Believe me, I’m well aware I’m not gonna like this.”

  He leaned in close and placed his hand behind the necklace, gently fingering the wiry petals. “It’s a pink diamond.”

  You know that moment when time freezes all around you and you wanna move but can’t? Yeah, that just happened…I spluttered a few sounds here and there, my words not really taking shape or meaning. It took me several seconds to process that apparently-not-so-important piece of information.

  Pink.

  Diamond.

  Diamond was bad enough. He really had to go and put pink in front of it?

  “And would a pink diamond be worth more than a regular diamond?” I asked, my face already cringing, totally fearing his answer.

  “Little bit,” he answered slowly.

  God, more Swiss cheese.

  “Little bit. Right. And how many carats are in the pink diamond?”

  “Little more than three.”

  Little. There’s that word again. I didn’t know a whole lot about diamonds, but I’m guessing by the size of the one that was glowing from the center of my necklace, that three carats was pretty damn big.

  I turned to face him and his face was depleted of any positive expressions. My hand reached out to trace his eyebrow from the bridge of his nose out. He closed his eyes and after a few strokes, his facial muscles began to relax a little. Miserably, he asked, “You’re going to give it back to me now, aren’t you?”

  I didn’t like the way he said it, like it would truly hurt him if I did it. “Do you want me to?”

  His eyes came to life and my hand fell from his face. “No.”

  “Shouldn’t I though? It seems wrong to keep such an expensive gift.”

  “When I turned eighteen it was mine to do with however I pleased. I gave it to you because I want you to have it. And that diamond isn’t even the most expensive piece of jewelry my grandmother left me.”


  “Then I’ll keep it for now.” That really got his eyes to bulge, but before he could get too excited, I added, “But you have to be honest with me here cause I’ve worn this necklace practically every day since Christmas. Any chance this thing is only worth say…four figures?”

  Hell, even I knew it was wishful thinking. I couldn’t even say ‘four figures’ without my head trying to suck itself into my neck. He huffed so hard it was practically a laugh, and a little smile began to break through.

  Damn.

  Dreadfully, I amended, “Five figures?” He slowly shook his head no, and the smile kept growing. “No way this thing is worth six?” The head shaking changed direction. I gasped and my lungs filled with so much air I should have floated off the ground. “Jesus! Robert! What are you doing to me?! Six figures? Dare I ask if the first number is greater than one?”

  The look on his face told me it was.

  Dear God.

  “It’s not that big of a deal.”

  My mouth shot so far open you could’ve shoved a tennis ball through it.

  “I realize it’s worth a lot of money, but it’s hardly putting a dent in my family inheritance. I had the wire flower designed so no one would ever suspect that gem to have any worth. No one outside my family will know what it really is. So as long as you don’t lose it, we’re good.”

  “Not a big deal?!” I shouted. “That’s more money than most people spend on a house! Do you have any idea what’s going through your mother’s head at this very moment?”

  “Well, hopefully she’s taking my relationship with you a little more seriously than she was yesterday. She couldn’t possibly think I’d put that stone around just anyone’s neck.”

  Speaking of necks, I wanted desperately to reach out and shake the crap out of his! I was still a little dumbfounded over the idea of even giving me such an expensive gift. “Robert, we’d only been together three months when you gave it to me.”

  “And I stand by that decision. I knew at three months what I know now. And I loved seeing that flower around your neck every day. Jewelry’s meant to be worn, not shoved in some safe deposit box only to see the light of day when it’s time to be appraised.”

  “What about the month I asked for a break? Part of you didn’t regret giving it to me then?”

  “I’ll admit I found it…frustrating that you had to deal with whatever it was you were going through without me, but I knew you weren’t really going to leave me.”

  “Robert, I was so confused and torn apart emotionally, even I didn’t know what I was thinking. So how could you?”

  “Because you never took it off.” I looked at him curiously, and he added, “Jenna, even when you thought it was just costume jewelry, you woke up every morning and put it back on. If even the tiniest part of you truly wanted to distance yourself from me, the first thing you would’ve done was bury it in the dresser.”

  I had to admit he had a point.

  When he turned my chin enough to face him, my eyes were met with a kind smile. “I went out of my way a few times that month to sneak a glance and assess how you were doing. Usually you were in one of your study hall periods when I did it, just sitting back in your desk staring out into nothing. But four out of five times, you were fingering the necklace in your hand absentmindedly. And it made me wonder if you were thinking about me at the time, cause you never did that before the break, and you’ve never done it since.”

  “Seriously? I don’t even remember doing that.”

  “I told you. It was subconscious. So no, I never doubted my decision to give it to you.” He leaned in and softly brushed my lips once more.

  We headed down for the most awkward dinner of my life, where his mother couldn’t keep from watching our every move. I wasn’t exactly the socialite she’d hoped for, but Robert seemed confident she’d accept me fully with a little time.

  Funny thing was, I don’t think she told her husband about the diamond cause he managed to get through the remaining meals completely ignorant to the amount of money his son had placed around my neck. I was beginning to think Robert was right about the wire flower automatically downplaying the value of the stone. After all, who the hell would ever put such an expensive diamond on such an inexpensive setting?

  Oh, that’s right. Robert.

  I was kinda relieved to be leaving after my week was up. Not that I wanted to be apart from Robert, but I could do with less staring from his mother. Lately, she just looked at me more with awe than anything, but I hated being stared at nonetheless.

  That summer was my first without being an official ward of state, so for once I was able to skip the classes that kept me out of the group home. I decided I wanted to stay in Rutland and for once have two months all to myself. It meant I had to work at the book store to cover my expenses but there was something liberating about the whole experience. It was a relief to know I could take care of myself if need be.

  Don’t be too proud of me though. Robert was determined to take care of me once we left for school and I decided I was gonna let him. That’s another experience I’ve never had – someone taking care of me. He was gonna find the apartment and get us set up. All I had to do was get myself accepted into the nearby junior college and show up. Easy-peasy.

  There was a downside to spending the summer alone though – besides Anne trying desperately to insert herself into my boyfriend’s life. My mind found plenty of time to drift back to Chance. I still worried about him, and I wondered how he was doing getting his life put back together.

  My last week of summer vacation, I got my answer.

  I was taking my lunch break in the city park, stretched out under the shade beneath a live oak by the pond when I saw him. As if he could feel my gaze, he turned and locked eyes with me. That trademark lopsided grin filled his face and he came towards me. I smiled when I saw the snow cone in his hand. I couldn’t help but notice there were five familiar colors striped across the ice.

  “You’re that Jenna girl from the hospital. The one from Pennington.”

  “Yeah.” Playfully, I added, “Well, I guess there’s nothing wrong with your head after that long sleep then, huh?”

  “No more than every other eighteen year old guy. Do you mind?” he asked, motioning to the empty space next to me under the tree. I shook my head and he plopped down.

  He stared at me softly for a moment. The gold in his eyes glittered even in the shade. “You know, I never got to thank you for reading to me all those times. Not sure if that horrible book is what got me to wake up, but I appreciate it nonetheless.”

  “Not a problem. So what’s in the snow cone?”

  “Nope. Sorry. Special secret recipe.”

  “It wouldn’t happen to be the awesome flavor combination of wild cherry, cola, watermelon, leche and blackberry, would it?”

  I think I broke him. He just stared at me for like five seconds, completely dumbfounded. Finally, he responded with, “Marry me.” I smiled and shook my head. “How’d you know that?”

  “I recognize the colors,” I lied. Noticing his t-shirt had a Penn State logo on it, I evaded with, “So are you gonna go play soccer for Penn State?”

  “How’d you know I played soccer?”

  I smiled and shrugged. He really did play soccer. “Guess someone mentioned it at the hospital at some point.”

  “Rehab went a slower than I would’ve like. Maybe by next year I can try a walk-on or get a scholarship. I’m stuck going to junior college this year because I wasn’t conscious to apply to any schools in time.”

  “Oh, right.”

  “But my teachers worked me hard the past few months to get me caught up so I could graduate and start college this fall.”

  “That had to be a ton of work.”

  “Wasn’t so bad. What else did I have to do between rehab sessions?”

  “Well, I’m glad you’re doing well. I’ve been wondering about you.”

  “Is that right?”

  I laughed and rolled my ey
es when he cocked his eyebrows seductively at me. “If I’m recalling correctly, you shouldn’t be giving me that look.”

  “You mean Melissa?”

  “I mean the blonde that looks like she could do the triple lindy off a couple of cheerleading pyramids.”

  He burst out laughing. “You’ve seen Back to School too? Man I love that one.”

  I’ve seen it now…sorta. It was another one of those movies he had me watch in my dreams, where I think I only remembered what he thought to show me. And he was obsessed with the dive Robert Dangerfield did at the end called the triple lindy, where he flipped back and forth between a couple of diving boards before finally doing another fancy dive into the water.

  “The stunt double wasn’t even close to Dangerfield’s body size and they kept zooming in on him when his eyes were all bug-eyed and funky. It’s so awesome. But as for Melissa, nah, we broke up.”

  Poor bobble-head Barbie.

  I expected my heart to speed up or my stomach to do a flip-turn hearing that, but surprisingly, it remained quietly in place.

  “Truth is, we broke up the night of the accident. She just never told anyone. I think she felt guilty. We were still arguing when we were driving home. She got mad and hit me. And for that split second, I turned my head to yell at her. Then…” He crumpled the empty paper cone in his hand dramatically.

  “Ouch. Yeah, I could see why she wouldn’t wanna tell anyone that’s why you crashed.” Now I really wanted to smash her face into a mirror.

  “So, now you know.” He lifted his eyebrows in the same seductive manner and I couldn’t help but smile.

  “Down boy. I’m not available.”

  “Damn. That’s alright. You’re probably going away to college anyways, right?”

  “Yes. Next week.”

  “Then it’s not meant to be right now. But,” he snagged the phone Robert forced on me when I left and punched away for a minute, “if you find yourself available in about four years, you let me know. For now, I’ve got to get going and by the name tag you’re wearing, I’m guessing you’ve got to get back to work.”

  “Yeah, I do,” I said, getting up and reaching for my phone. Our fingers brushed together and I could tell he was gripping the phone to make the pass slower. A single butterfly fluttered inside me.