by Quig Shelby
He escorted her to the kitchen, and the small broom cupboard.
At first it seemed a bit strange with the prayers only a few feet away, but soon he lost himself in the ardour as Bheki’s svelte body rubbed against his.
In the evening they called a taxi, and after Miriam had made an endless fuss over little Noah. With her new hairdo no one had noticed Plackcedes Seka standing in the crowds outside.
‘For goodness sake Felix, I can’t have you panting like a dog every time we walk by,’ said Dela.
‘It’s for your own good,’ added Plackcedes.
‘Honestly Felix, Plackcedes is nearly in her sixties’ said Dela.
It was true but there was that gap in her teeth, her purple dyed hair, and those thick suspenders she always wore that silhouetted under her skirts; the same skirts that seemed to struggle to stretch around her big fat ass. Was it really his fault he looked? And it was Dela who’d left his cage off.
‘I’m going to very busy until the new year, so I’m going to make damn sure you stay out of mischief,’ said Dela.
Felix was on all fours on the bed, and grateful the candle had been put safely away. But there was something entertaining his butt as Dela milked him into the draining tray. Eventually his prostrate was expunged, and after his ablutions he was locked up. He actually felt better for it, with no more unruly urges crossing his mind, at least for now.
‘You see Plackcedes,’ said Dela ‘men really are quite simple animals.’
Plackcedes nodded in agreement.
‘Where are you now?’ asked Frank into the scrying glass.
‘In the hearse dear boy, on the way to the airport,’ replied Abel Goodyear. ‘I hope the air stewardesses are fit, I do love a woman in uniform.’
‘What about the other side?’ asked Frank ‘what’s it like?’
He was less interested in the living world, and even less in lip-sticked attendants, at least of the female variety.
‘It’s beautiful, unimaginable. At times I feel like I’m floating, and the hymns rain down, much more than music, you can physically feel them.’
‘And the other Spirits, do you see them?’ asked Frank.
‘Naturally,’ replied Abel. ‘And there’s no petty rivalries here, no envy,’ he said.
‘Is everyone you knew there?’
‘Only the dead ones,’ said Abel.
‘I know that,’ snapped Frank.
Abel knew Frank could become a little terse, and really didn’t want to become his inside man. He would make this there last meeting.
‘You know I really don’t have to come if I don’t want,’ said Abel.
‘I’m sorry,’ said Frank ‘I haven’t had much sleep lately.’
‘Alison?’ asked Frank.
‘Yes.’
‘I’ve told you before dear boy she’s having a ball. After all, you’ve seen her.’
‘I know. I just wish she’d had more of a life,’ said Frank.
‘Well this life lasts forever so I wouldn’t worry, and there’s a good chance you could join her, see her again.’
‘A good chance?’ said Frank.
‘Remember what we used to talk about Frank, your dark side,’ said Abel.
‘Yes.’
‘Well you must keep it at bay, otherwise there could be unfortunate consequences.’
‘I’m trying Abel.’
‘Perhaps more prayer,’ said Abel ‘some charity work perhaps. And less heat under the collar over unimportant things.’
Frank could be a monster, using any excuse to vent the anger that flowed underneath his skin like lava. And he had seen the ‘consequences’ of inner turmoil in his scrying glass. The other side wasn’t a bowl of cherries for everyone, but when the black dog of depression bit him he wanted to feel bad, anxious, and lost; he needed it, drowning in a pit of despair, self-pity and loathing. Feelings of emptiness, hollowness, were sometimes all he ever craved. Perhaps he was beyond redemption? After all where did the masochist live in a benevolent land?
‘You’re right Abel, I need to shed my melancholy,’ said Frank.
‘I understand Frank. Before you could hide from yourself as Madam Fang Fong,’ said Abel.
He was absolutely right, but one day he was bound to face himself in the mirror.
‘I don’t like what I see,’ said Frank honestly.
‘Then now is the time to take action, is it not?’
‘Yes,’ said Frank.
But the more he saw of the other side, the more he realised to which side his disposition was suited, and it wasn’t the land of milk and honey.
‘Look Frank I wish you well, but this is the last time we shall meet,’ said Abel.
‘I understand,’ said Frank.
‘But let me tell you this as a friend, you are not beyond redemption. There was a man much like you who has now been saved.’
‘Who?’
‘Joost van Houten. Seek him out Frank, and tell him this from me, God help us all because Dela has found a way to bring back the dead.’
Before Frank could ask a million and one questions Abel was gone, and for Frank at least he wouldn’t be coming back.
Chapter Forty Nine
They should have been un-wrapping the latest shipment, instead they were fighting over the broom.
‘You’ve missed a bit,’ said James.
‘Where?’ replied an indignant Din.
‘Over there, in front of the office.’
Din grabbed the brush off of James, and rushed towards the last of the dirt. Suddenly he stopped and laughed, and James joined him.
‘Look what she’s done to us,’ said Din referring to his sister.
‘It’s not really her fault, after all we did wish for it,’ said James.
It was all part and parcel of Lance’s rather protracted death, and no one had been able to look a gift horse in the mouth, but perhaps they should have been a little more careful. Din wasn’t so much bulking up these days as sweeping up.
‘Well I guess when Dela’s not so busy she’ll undo the spell,’ said Din.
‘What’s she up to these days anyway?’ asked James.
‘Resurrection,’ said Din, and then he held a finger to his mouth.
It could have been worse, sometimes he drew the finger across his throat.
‘Is that why she spends half her time with Charles and his poodles?’ asked James half joking.
Din nodded solemnly, and from the look in his eyes James knew not to push the subject any further. But he did grab the broom back and run towards the office. Din tripped him up, and as James went flying he picked up the broom once more. He swept the dirt into a neat little pile, but James was crouched behind him, and with a smaller brush of his own gathered it into a dustpan and the bin. Din snapped the broom in half, and looked murderously at James.
‘I couldn’t help myself,’ said an apologetic James, wishing Dela wasn’t quite as busy.
Din suddenly came back to his senses ‘sorry,’ he said.
‘Let’s un-wrap the shipment,’ said Din.
There was a pallet in the warehouse, delivered from the docks this morning. Din sliced through the shrink wrap, and threw a box to James. Inside there were packets, jars and cans of Ratip pepper, oyster sauce, curry paste, dried lemon grass, dried chilli, fried garlic, and chilli mushroom paste.
‘We were never sure if the pepper helped with the sniffer dogs, but of course we have an inside man,’ said Din.
‘We’ used to be Din and Dilwood, now it stood for Din and James.
‘What we’re after is on the third row,’ said Din.
They stacked the first two rows against the wall, and then Din starting from a corner handed every third box to James.
‘You
can open any packet you like,’ said Din ‘they all contain heroin. The jars have amphetamines inside, apart from the shrimp paste that’s ecstasy.’
‘What about the cocaine?’ asked James becoming quite excited with his new career.
‘We’ll swap some of the horse with the African Group,’ said Din.
James looked lost.
‘Heroin, and they’re an outfit on the other side of the river,’ said Din referring to the Thames.
James nearly jumped out of his skin as Din’s mobile rang.
‘I’m outside,’ said Dirk Sellars.
‘It’s him,’ said Din to James.
‘Good morning gentlemen, working late I see,’ said Sellars.
He placed his burgeoning briefcase on the floor.
‘Thanks for coming,’ said Din.
‘Not at all. But before we begin whatever have you done with Dilwood?’ asked Sellars.
‘He had an accident,’ replied Din.
‘You haven’t been a naughty boy I hope,’ said Sellars.
‘No, like I said it was an accident,’ repeated Din.
‘Hey look it doesn’t matter to me, I’m retiring. I brought the file you requested.’
He handed the briefcase over to Din who checked the contents.
‘What about the whore’s computer records?’ asked Din.
‘All deleted.’
‘How can I be certain?’ asked Din.
‘Would I lie to you. After all you could always turn me in, and disappear back to Africa with your money.’
‘True,’ said Din.
‘Anyway my man, I’ve got a plane to catch, so that’s thirty grand if you please,’ said Sellars.
‘James fetch my case from the office,’ said Din.
‘You know with you and Dilwood gone there’s something else I need,’ said Din.
Sellars smiled as he counted the thirty large. He’d been waiting for this.
‘The name of the inside man at the docks,’ said Din.
‘I was wondering when you’d ask,’ said Sellars.
There was a pause.
‘How much did you have in mind?’ asked Sellars.
Din looked a little exasperated.
‘I was kind of hoping you’d give me the name for free.’
‘Nothing in life is free Din. You of all people should know that.’
‘So what’s your price?’
‘Considering the value to the business shall we say a hundred large ones?’
Din rubbed the top of his head.
‘It’s too much, way too much.’
Then I guess we don’t have a deal,’ said Sellars pocketing the last of the 30K.
Din pulled a gun and aimed at Sellars head. Dirk tried to pull one himself from his mohair coat but James knocked it out of his hand. Perhaps he was better than he thought.
‘You know I’ll do it Dirk, and I’m counting. Ten, nine, ...’
‘It’s Lars Anders the deputy manager.’
‘What’s his cut?’ asked Din.
‘Ten grand per shipment.’
‘But we paid you twenty,’ said Din.
‘That’s business,’ said Sellars.
‘May I leave now?’ he added.
‘Yes go on,’ said Din ‘enjoy the money.’
This last sentence was the code for James to act.
‘I will, but just remember Din without me there would never have been any operation,’ said Sellars before turning around.
As he did James cut him wide open with the pallet knife.
‘Why?’ asked Sellars as he lay dying on the concrete floor.
‘Just balancing the books Dirk, after all that’s business.’
‘Well done James,’ said Din ‘and by the way the money’s yours.’
‘You know what Din, he was making all that cash and couldn’t even have his shirts ironed,’ said a disgusted James rifling the dead man’s pockets.
They’d fight over cleaning up later on.
Susie had been a little slut, but what was good for the goose was good for the gander. Good old Pandy was trawling the shemale websites for a replacement, and he didn’t feel that old. He took another rainbow blotter from the locked drawer in his desk. The brightly coloured LSD tabs were next to a sealed gold envelope. Inside was an antique pearl necklace. He’d bought it to celebrate their anniversary, before Susie decided to make her intentions towards James Middlemass known.
The door creaked open, and Pandy quickly tried to close down his laptop.
‘Have you forgiven me yet?’ asked Susie.
‘Forgiven you for what?’ asked Pandalay.
‘My infatuation of course.’
‘Oh that trifle, I’d almost forgot,’ lied Pandy.
‘You know we never slept together,’ said Susie not believing him.
‘And besides he’s not even into the third sex,’ she said.
‘Let’s not talk about it Susie, besides I have a present,’ said Pandy, and he opened his drawer once more.
Susie tore the envelope open, and was speechless.
‘Go on try it on,’ said Pandy.
‘Are they real?’ she asked.
‘Of course, and happy anniversary,’ said Pandy.
‘Here you do it,’ screeched Susie ‘I’m all finger and thumbs.’
‘Girls eh,’ said Pandy and there was a look of sadness in his eyes.
He stepped behind Susie who was now seated in his ‘Captain’s’ chair.’
‘Careful,’ said Susie.
But his hands were wrapped around her neck, and the thumbs were digging in. Mr Pandalay may have been an old timer but Susie was too fragile to fight back. Besides she’d always loved him with all her heart, until that ridiculous fantasy for James Middlemass; she stopped struggling.
Pandy was in tears, she’d broken his heart, and he’d stopped hers. The phone rang and he slowly picked it up.
‘Hi handsome,’ squealed the Ladyboy ‘I’m Mona and we gotta a whole lotta moanin to do.’
Oh my thought Pandy, and he wrote down Mona’s bank account details.
Mr Pandalay needed his inhaler, and once recovered looked at the lifeless body. He got a chiffon scarf to cover her bruised neck and kissed her on the mouth one last time. Dela’s antics had made him feel invincible, untouchable even, but he couldn’t dispose of the body alone.
Din and James were wrapping Sellars in shrink wrap; Din once had boxes full of the stuff but Dela for some reason kept asking him for more. The phone rang.
‘Hi Din,’ said Pandy ‘I hope I’m not disturbing you.’
‘Go on,’ said Din.
‘Susie’s had a bit of an accident,’ there was a pause.
‘How bad is she?’ asked Din.
‘She’s dead’.
‘That’s pretty bad,’ said Din.
‘Yes. Look I was wondering if you could help me get rid of the body?’
‘Funny you should ask,’ said Din ‘I was about to get rid of one myself. I’ll be round later’.
‘Thanks Din. Chow,’ said Pandy.
‘It’s Pandy,’ said Din to James ‘he’s just killed Susie.’
James looked very terribly guilty.
Frank thought he could trust Joost, but he didn’t really expect him to defeat Dela, especially if he helped her. Dela was the one who could bring back Alison, and that’s all he wanted.
‘Herman I’ll be gone for a day or two, look after the house,’ said Frank.
‘Be good, and if you can’t be good be ...’ said Herman.
‘Careful,’ they shouted together.
Frank caught the train to Bishopsfield. According to Bill that’s where Dela had hone
d her latest skills, on the local vet’s animals. He took his scrying glass, maybe the witch would be interested in his own powers?
The knock at the door caught him by surprise. Charles Carney had at last baked Josh Templemead’s heart into a pie, and was just taking his first bite. Perhaps a little more mint sauce he thought.
‘The surgery’s closed today,’ said Charles to the stranger.
‘I haven’t come with a pet, I’ve come to see Dela Eden Obi.’
‘Who?’ asked Charles.
‘You don’t have to pretend with me. Look I know what goes on here, and I have a proposition for Dela.’
‘I still don’t know who you’re talking about,’ said Charles.
‘Look I’m not the police, and I have information that Dela would be disappointed to miss.’
‘About what?’ asked Charles.
‘Whom actually,’ corrected Frank ‘Joost van Houten.’
Charles finally conceded.
‘Come on in, but she won’t be here until this evening.’
Frank hung his coat in the porch, and was shown the lounge.
‘Can I get you a drink?’ asked Charles.
‘Scotch on the rocks if you have any,’ said Frank.
‘Undoubtedly,’ replied Charles ‘I think I’ll join you.’
And he had one more scoop of pie before covering up the casserole dish.
They sat in front of the burning logs in Charles’ fireplace, as Frank loosened up.
‘This Joost fellow, I believe he’s been quite a thorn Dela’s side,’ said Frank.
‘You could say that,’ said Charles.
‘I can nip him in the bud,’ said Frank.
‘Well it’s not me you have to convince, but what makes you say that?’ asked Charles.
‘I can take you to Joost, or lead him, and his whore, into a trap.’
‘Interesting,’ said Charles. ‘By the way, can I get you some cherry pie and vanilla custard?’
‘A man after my own heart,’ said Frank.
Perhaps thought Charles, but not just yet.
With more whisky washing down the second helping, Frank elucidated on his own clairvoyant gift, and how he had stumbled upon Dela’s latest trick.
‘I’d be a good man to have on your side,’ said Frank.