Out Of The Ashes

by Diana Gardin

  “She’s not here,” I told my mother.

  “I can see that, Clay. Why isn’t she? She sounded so upset on the phone. You should have heard the things she was telling me! I came right down. You know the pain and suffering your father has caused me, Clay, and is still causing me. Over my dead body will you start going down the same adulterous road he chose.”

  I looked at Rob again, panicked.

  He cleared his throat. “Um, Mrs. Forbes?”

  “Not now, Robert. I’m speaking with my son. You should run along now, don’t you have classes or something? And I plan on giving your mother a call as soon as I get back home…”

  Rob quickly made himself scarce.

  Pussy, I thought.

  “Mom, we need to talk. I don’t know what Hannah told you--“

  “Oh, she told me plenty. Is it true you asked the girl to marry you, Clay? Now I liked her when I met her, you know we got along nicely, but for you to propose marriage to the girl without your family knowing a thing about it. Your father is an important man, Clay, and you can’t just spring things like this on us--“

  “Mom!” I exclaimed, exasperated. “Just slow down a minute and listen!”

  She stared at me, openmouthed. I’d never raised my voice at her before.

  “Just listen, please,” I said in a more respectful tone. “I’m not engaged to Hannah. She is bat-shit crazy.”

  “Clay Matthew Forbes!” my mother shouted. “Don’t you dare use that language in front of your mother. Have you lost your mind?”

  “Well, she’s nuts, Mom. We’re not even engaged. I’m actually dating someone else now--“

  “Dating someone else?” my mother’s eyes narrowed. “You haven’t bothered to say anything about her to me? Have you been talking to your sisters?”

  My head fell into my hands. So this was what Hannah had planned next. Get my mother on my back about her and Paige, so I had less time to spend with my girlfriend. I was already going to have to cancel dinner with her tonight. There was no way I was going to expose her to my mother. It would be like tying up a lamb in a lion’s den.

  “Mom,” I sighed. “Just listen. I have a new girlfriend. I love her. Like, for real. I’ve never felt this way before. So I told Hannah I would have to stop seeing her.”

  That was sort of how it had gone.

  “And now she’s acting like the scorned woman. She’s gone completely insane. Threatening Paige, pulling pranks on me. She’s crazy.”

  “Hmph. I don’t think I can believe such a thing about that sweet girl you brought to Ohio last November. Whoever this new girl is must be tainting your perception. Confusing you, muddling your mind with all the sex.”

  “Mom!” I grimaced when she said the word “sex.”

  “It’s not like that with Paige.”

  “Yes, that’s exactly what your father says about his current mistress.”

  I wasn’t going to win this argument. I wasn’t going to be able to make my mother understand what Paige and I had, not with Hannah’s testimony already in the bank. And that’s what Hannah was counting on. She was hoping my mother would talk some sense into me, push me back in Hannah’s direction.

  To hell with that.

  “As long as I’m here, Clay Matthew, I expect you to spend some time with me. Take your mother somewhere decent to eat tonight before I retire at my hotel. “

  “Of course, Mom,” I said, pulling out my phone to look up a restaurant that would suit my mother’s expensive tastes.

  By the time I showered, changed into something that my mom considered presentable, driven behind her to the hotel, waited on her to shower and change into something she considered more presentable, and picked a restaurant, the meeting time Paige and I had agreed on had come and gone.

  Paige

  I set my phone down on the counter beside me as I stirred the marinara sauce bubbling happily on the stove. Clay was late, but I wasn’t worried. He had been so happy this afternoon that I was no longer giving him the cold shoulder. He’d be tearing my door down in a few minutes.

  Twenty more minutes ticked by, and I was scooping out long strands of spaghetti from the strainer in the sink onto plates. I ladled generous servings of marinara sauce on each plate and carried them to the small kitchen table in the eating area just off the kitchen.

  I sat down, checking my phone again.

  Fifteen minutes later found me sitting restlessly on the couch, flipping through television channels without seeing any of the programs flashing across the screen. I kept glancing at the now-cold plates of pasta on the table, biting my lip.

  When Clay was an hour and eleven minutes late, I marched to the table, picked up the plates, threw the contents in the trash, and shoved the dishes in the sink, swiping angry tears away from my face.

  If he couldn’t make it, why wouldn’t he at least have the consideration to send me a text? I thought of the dinner I had slaved over and my anger intensified.

  When Gillian came through the door around eleven, I was curled up on the couch in my PJs, watching a Lifetime movie.

  She stopped short when she saw me. “Uh-oh. Lifetime? What happened? Where’s Clay?”

  I took in her appearance. She was wearing short black shorts, black patterned tights, short black boots, and a skin-tight lacy shirt that glowed a soft, shimmery pink in the light of the television.

  “Where the hell have you been dressed like that?” I asked her.

  I had assumed she’d been at the library or the coffeehouse studying. But not dressed like that.

  She shook her head distractedly. “No, don’t deflect. What happened with Clay?”

  I huffed an angry sigh, sitting up and pulling the blanket around my shoulders. “He stood me up.”

  “He what?” Gillian’s forehead wrinkled in confusion. “He wouldn’t do that.”

  I shot her an irritated look. “Do you see him here?”

  “Did you text him?”

  “No!” I was indignant. “Why should I? He knew we had plans. He broke them, without even so much as a message. Lord knows where he is or what he’s doing. He’s probably with Hannah.”

  “Paige,” Gillian sat down next to me, her light brown curls waving softly around her face. “You don’t really believe that, do you? You know he’s not interested in Hannah. He’s in love with you.”

  I sniffed. “People don’t usually stand up someone they’re in love with. I made dinner and everything, Gillian. Imagine how stupid I felt scraping the uneaten food into the trash after I waited over an hour for him to walk through that door.”

  She squeezed my shoulders and listened.

  “I mean really. This is why I didn’t want to be in a relationship. People always end up hurting you…or leaving you.”

  “Oh, sweetie,” she said. “I still think you should text him. Give him the benefit of the doubt. I think he’s earned that much, don’t you?”

  I stared stubbornly at the television.

  “Paige,” she said softly. “This is your man we’re talking about. He hasn’t contacted you at all. Wouldn’t you kill yourself later if something happened to him and you didn’t even check in?”

  “No,” I grumbled. But I knew she was right. I grabbed my phone off the coffee table just as it dinged.

  “See?” Gillian said brightly. “Here comes the valid explanation.” She headed down the hallway. “I’m going to change. Come get in bed with me when you find out what happened with Clay.”

  I stared at my phone. Then I rubbed my eyes and checked again. My mouth dropped open in shock as Beau’s name filled the screen.

  What was my ex-boyfriend doing texting me? We hadn’t spoken since just after the fire, when I broke up with him in my hospital room. I knew then that my recovery was going to be a lengthy process, and I didn’t want to drag him down with me. So I broke his heart and let him go.

  At the time, I hadn’t expected him to stay away, and my own heart had broken in return.

  Beau: Paige? Is this
still you?

  Still in shock, I texted back.

  Paige: It’s been awhile Beau. It’s still me.

  I hoped nothing had happened to his family, or someone we knew from school. I couldn’t think for the life of me why else he might be contacting me.

  Paige: Is everything ok?

  Beau: Everything is fine. No worries. I was just thinking about you.

  That was stranger than strange. He texted me out of the blue after over a year of no contact because he was thinking about me?

  Paige: Why?

  It took a good five minutes before he wrote back.

  Beau: Because I miss you, Paige.

  Oh, crap. He wasn’t going to do this to me now. I was over my relationship with Beau. We’d known each other since grade school and were friends before we were a couple. But that night in the hospital room was closure for me. I’d told him I was setting him free, and I’d meant it.

  My phone rang and I groaned.

  “Beau? It’s late. Have you been drinking?”

  “Maybe,” he drawled. It was surprisingly good to hear Beau’s voice. He was a southern boy through and through, and his deep country drawl was comforting.

  “Just a little,” he continued. “That’s not why I’m calling you, Paige. I’ve been thinking about you a lot. Word around town is that you’re just up the road in Rutherford. That true?”

  “Yeah, Beau. It’s true.” I sighed.

  “Why’d I have to hear it from someone else?”

  “Look, Beau--“

  “Don’t play me, Paige. I know you better than that. I miss you. When you made me leave that hospital room…I left that place broken that night, Paige. You broke me. You’re the only girl that ever had the power to do that, you know.”

  “I’m so sorry, Beau. I wanted to help you. I didn’t want to drag you down. There was a long hard road ahead of me.”

  “And you thought I was the kind of guy who wouldn’t stick by you through that?” His voice broke.

  “I knew you were the kind of guy who would, Beau. That was the problem. No seventeen-year-old boy should have to go through that with anyone. It wouldn’t have been fair.”

  “Dammit, Paige!” He was nearly shouting. “Don’t you think I had the right to make that decision?”

  I was quiet, hearing the still-fresh pain in his voice. Maybe I had robbed him. At this time, I thought I was doing the right thing. Now I wasn’t so sure.

  “I want to come and see you,” he said bluntly.

  “That’s not a good idea, Beau.”

  “Why the hell not?”

  I tried and failed to think of a way to tell him about Clay.

  “Paige. Please don’t tell me you went and got yourself a man. Please don’t tell me that.”

  “Beau--“

  He groaned. “Is it serious?”

  “It could be.”

  He was silent. I could hear his breathing from the other end of the line. I pictured him sitting on the back of his truck, legs dangling over the back hatch. He’d have a six-pack of Coors sitting next to him.

  “Do you love him?” he asked quietly.

  “Do you really want to know?” I asked.

  “Hell, no. I mean, yes. I need to know.”

  “I love him, Beau”

  His answering deep exhalation grabbed me from the other end of the line.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered.

  “You know what?” he asked. “You don’t need to be sorry, Paige. You healed, you moved on. You’re in a new town, you started school. You met a new man. You don’t need to apologize for that.”

  “Thank you, Beau.”

  “But you know what? I reckon you love me, too. You’ve just forgotten about it. I can remind you. Hell, it’s not like you’re married or something.”

  I groaned in frustration. “Don’t do this to me, Beau. What we had is in the past.”

  He chuckled. “That’s only because I haven’t had the sense to become a part of your present yet. But that’s going to change, Paige. That new man of yours has a world of trouble comin’ his way. I promise.”

  “Beau Reynolds, don’t you start--“

  He let out a rumble of laughter. “Damn, I missed you girl. I can’t wait to show you how much.”

  The line clicked and went dead. I stared at my phone, wondering if that conversation had really just taken place.

  If Beau Reynolds had put his mind into winning me back, I was definitely in a whole heap of trouble.

  My phone dinged again. I checked it, expecting Beau once more.

  Clay: So sorry babe. Got caught up in sumthin. Forgive me plz.

  Angry disbelief colored my world red. I spent an hour cooking a dinner I thought he’d love, waited over an hour for him, and he was finally texting me to give me the excuse of what? He got caught up in something? That explained absolutely nothing. He wanted me to forgive him? He didn’t even give me an excuse worth forgiving!

  While I silently ranted, my phone dinged again.

  Clay: I know you r pissed. Plz hold off on judging me til I can C U 2 explain. I love U.

  I threw my phone on the table, put a plush pillow over my face, and screamed into it with a ferocity that left me breathless.

  Thirty-One

  Paige

  “Your mom’s in town?” I asked in disbelief. “That’s why you stood me up? Why couldn’t you just tell me that? I waited hours for you, Clay.”

  I folded my arms across my chest and watched him expectantly.

  “Paige, I swear to you. I would have sent you a message or called you if my mom hadn’t been on a warpath. She was in town to find out why I was following in my father’s footsteps and treating Hannah so badly.”

  My mouth dropped open before I could stop myself. “Wait, what? What does Hannah have to do with anything?”

  Clay took a deep breath. “My mother thinks Hannah is my girlfriend.”

  I threw up my hands and turned, preparing to stomp away from him.

  The thin, naked branches of the once-full trees sent a smattering of shadows across the brick sidewalk on campus.

  I was still shaken from my conversation last night with Beau. I had debated whether I should tell Clay about it. At this moment, we had enough to worry about.

  Clay reached for my arm and I whirled around. “Are you kidding me, Clay? You haven’t bothered to tell your mom that you aren’t actually dating Hannah, and that you are actually dating me? This relationship means that much to you, huh?”

  He recoiled at my statement. “Paige! Of course our relationship is important to me. You mean absolutely everything to me. I’m not close with my mom. I try not to tell her about anything that’s going on in my life, or she’ll try to bulldoze right through it, adjusting my feelings and making decisions for me. Why do you think I went so far away from home to attend U of R? It was to put distance between me and my fucked up parents!”