Out Of The Ashes

by Diana Gardin

  I took a deep breath and I knew he could see my icy anger thawing. “You don’t talk to your parents?”

  “No,” he said, shaking his head adamantly. “I don’t. And I will explain why later. Right now I just need you to know how sorry I am about last night. You come first, and I was trying to protect you. You don’t need to be exposed to my mom right now. That’s the last thing I want.”

  I sighed. “Okay, Clay. I still wish you’d sent me a message or called, but I understand family issues better than anyone. Where’s your mom now?”

  “After I had breakfast with her this morning, I got her to split town by suggesting that she needed to be home to keep an eye on my dad.”

  “So she’s gone.”

  “Yes, she’s gone.”

  “How did she know to come to town in the first place? I mean, if you don’t talk to her? Oh…”

  Realization dawned on my face like a sunrise. An angry, fiery sunrise.

  “That bitch. She called your mother?”

  Clay cringed. “Yeah, she did. And as soon as I see her, I swear--“

  “Hello, Paige.” My boss, Dr. Schilling stopped in front of us.

  We were on campus, standing in front of the dining hall. Clay texted me earlier this morning, asking me to meet him here. Still In a fury from last night, I had gladly obliged in order to ream him out.

  “Hello, Dr. Schilling,” I replied. “How are you?”

  “I think the more important question is, how are you?” he replied.

  “She’s fine,” Clay snapped. “We’re actually having an important conversation here, so if you don’t mind…”

  Dr. Schilling pushed his lustrous black hair away from his forehead and straightened the stiff collar on his striped button-down.

  He didn’t acknowledge Clay as he said, “You look upset. Is something wrong?”

  I glanced at Clay, worried his jealousy would get the better of him. I saw his hands ball into fists and answered quickly.

  “Oh, I’m fine professor. Just a little misunderstanding.”

  Dr. Schilling finally turned to acknowledge Clay, frowning. “Is this a pattern? Every other time I see Paige with you, she’s upset about something you’ve done. Why is that?”

  “Listen, you--“ Clay began.

  “I’m okay, Dr. Schilling,” I repeated, cutting Clay off quickly. “I’m fine, really. Don’t worry. Today is my day off, but I’ll see you tomorrow?”

  I glanced at Clay, whose face was turning an interesting shade of purple.

  Dr. Schilling noticed. “Are you sure?”

  “Totally sure,” I smiled. “See you later.”

  I grabbed Clay’s arm and practically dragged him toward the parking lot.

  “I can’t believe that son of a bitch!” he spluttered when we were safely walking away. “I’m serious Paige, that dude is after something. I don’t trust him.”

  I shrugged. “He’s my boss. He just cares about my well-being, that’s all.”

  “Yeah, I bet that’s all,” Clay muttered.

  He unlocked the doors to his SUV as we approached it, and opened my door for me. After helping me climb up to the seat, he shut my door and walked around to his side.

  “I don’t want you working for him anymore,” he informed me.

  “You don’t get a vote,” I said calmly.

  “What do you mean, I don’t get a vote? I’m your boyfriend.”

  “Exactly. You’re my boyfriend, not my father. You don’t tell me where I can or can’t work, Clay.”

  “Paige--“

  I leaned over and pressed my lips to his neck, kissing him tenderly, my lips hot against his skin.

  Clay froze. “What are you doing, baby?”

  “Shutting you up,” I murmured against his neck as I trailed my tongue in a light circle under his ear. “Is it working?”

  He grabbed my hand and placed it over the zipper of his jeans, demonstrating just how well it was working.

  “What do you think?” he asked in a strained voice. He turned his head to meet my lips, and then all of the tension from our fight melted away in a kiss. His lips moved over mine gently, his tongue begging entrance to my mouth. I opened for him, and he massaged the inside of my lips and the front of my teeth with his tongue before it tangled with mine.

  I moaned, using my free hand to rub his head. The other hand fumbled with the zipper of his jeans. I wanted to feel how much he wanted me. He let me get as far as moving his zipper downward, and then he grabbed my hand.

  “I need to get you home,” Clay whispered, his lips hovering just in front of mine. “And into a bed.”

  I nodded, my lips hot and tender from the kiss. “That sounds like a good idea.”

  Clay

  I lay watching Paige’s face as she slept, her stillness creating an aura of peace around her face. Late afternoon sunlight streamed in through the window, dust particles swirling in the beam as if transfixed by the light.

  I could watch her sleep beside me for hours. No. Days. I loved the way her hair fell over her face, the way her lips puffed out with each breath, the way her slender fingers twitched as she toured Dreamland.

  I had to keep her. Losing her wasn’t an option. Days like this only cemented the fact that no woman before her had been able to tame me. And I didn’t want any other woman to ever take her place in my world. She was mine because she made me whole.

  I didn’t exactly have the best model to follow when it came to relationships, since my parent’s marriage was as fucked up as they come. But I would try to do right by Paige. And the first thing I had to do was take care of the biggest threat to our happiness: Hannah Davis.

  I pulled out my phone and sent a text.

  Clay: I need to C u 2nite.

  I waited, my stomach clenching and unclenching with anxiety. My phone buzzed almost immediately.

  Hannah: Been waiting on you to come to your senses. Come over around 10.

  I put the phone back on the nightstand and kissed Paige gently.

  She stirred, stretching luxuriously, her toes pointing as she did so.

  “Is it morning?” she asked sleepily.

  “No, silly.” I kissed her forehead. “It’s almost dinnertime. I thought we could order some takeout. You don’t need to go home for anything, do you?”

  “Well, I do have plans with Gillian tonight, but we can do dinner first.” She smiled, holding the sheet close to her body. “I love making up with you. It’s so much more fun than fighting.”

  “Oh, it’s definitely more fun than fighting,” I said, my heart aching. “Listen, babe. I know you’re too good for me. You’ve been through so much in your life and overcome it all. You are the strongest woman I know, and I know a lot of women. You amaze me every day, and every day I feel ridiculously lucky that you’ve chosen me.”

  She smiled and took hold of my face. “I love you, Clay. You know that. We’re good together. We make each other better. And that’s what relationships are about. Give and take. Neither of us is perfect. We’re going to make mistakes; I realize that. I shouldn’t have been so hard on you. I promise to have more faith in you next time.”

  I kissed her then, because it was either that or burst into tears like a bitch.

  A loud crash came from Drew’s bedroom next door, and then a muffled giggle.

  “Sounds like we weren’t the only ones staying in bed all afternoon,” I smiled.

  Another giggle and someone shushed the other person in the room. We listened curiously as Drew’s door squeaked open, and footsteps padded down the hall. The front door opened, and Drew’s voice bid goodbye to a muffled female voice.

  I stood up, pulling on a pair of basketball shorts and a white undershirt. I glanced at Paige, who was sitting up in bed, searching the floor for her clothes. I watched as she dressed and then took her hand, opening the bedroom door.

  As we walked into the living room, I greeted Drew, who was sitting on a barstool chugging a large cup of Kool-Aid.

  “
’Sup?” he greeted us casually.

  “Nothing. What’s up with you? I asked.

  Paige giggled. “Yeah, Drew. We heard your guest this afternoon. Did she love you and leave you?”

  Drew actually blushed. “Don’t know what you guys are talking about.”

  “Okay Drew, that’s weird. Since when do you keep your sexcapade partners a secret?” I asked, curious.

  “Oh, leave him alone, Clay,” Paige admonished. “He’ll tell us when he’s ready. Or not. None of our business.”

  “Listen to the lady,” Drew advised. “I always knew she was the brains of your little operation.”

  “Fine. I’ll figure it out eventually,” I said.

  “Clay and I are going to order Chinese for dinner. You want in?” Paige asked Drew.

  I groaned. “Paige! He’ll eat what he orders and then he’ll eat half of ours!”

  “Whatever, man,” Drew said. “I would love to join you and your beloved for dinner.”

  I smirked. “Of course you would.”

  We ended up ordering way too much food, and even had enough left for Rob when he got home a couple of hours later. We ate together, joking around with Drew and watching TV; it was all so normal and easy that it took my mind off my upcoming secret meeting with Hannah.

  “Earth to Clay?” Paige said.

  “Huh?”

  She laughed. “Where’d you go? I asked what you were going to do with yourself tonight since I won’t be here.”

  “Oh,” I said guiltily. “I guess I’ll just bum around, missing you.”

  Her face lit into a bright smile. “I’ll miss you too, babe.”

  “Ugh,” Drew said, throwing down his fork. “You two are officially banned from family dinners from now on. I can’t take the disgusting love drunk idiot you’ve turned Clay into, Paige.”

  She stood up and kissed Drew on the cheek. “Don’t worry Drew. One day you’ll find your soul mate, and then you’ll get to be the love-drunk idiot.”

  Drew held up his two index fingers in a cross. “Be gone! Take your curses with you, gypsy!”

  Paige laughed as I grabbed my keys.

  The drive to her apartment was quiet as I contemplated what I’d have to do tonight.

  “Clay?” Paige said when I pulled into her parking lot. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing,” I said, shaking my head.

  She looked unsure. “I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

  I nodded. “Right.”

  She leaned over the console and took my face in her hands. “I love you. Always.”

  “Always,” I agreed.

  I would make sure of it.

  Thirty-Two

  Clay

  Walking up to Hannah’s door, I was just ready to end this once and for all. The bullying, the pranks, the meddling in my relationship. I didn’t know what I had to do to get this girl to understand that it was over, but she was going to hear me tonight.

  No matter what I had to do to convince her.

  I knocked and waited, shifting from one foot to the other.

  The door opened slowly, and Hannah’s crimson hair greeted me around the crack before her face did.

  “Clay,” she greeted me. “I’ve been looking forward to seeing you all day.”

  “Don’t play me, Hannah,” I snapped, shoving the door open and pushing my way in. “This isn’t a friendly visit.”

  “It’s not? But when I read your text, I thought…Okay. We can talk about whatever you want. Let me get you a drink.”

  She walked into the kitchen and pulled two glasses from the cabinet by the sink.

  “Alcohol or no?” she asked.

  “No,” I answered.

  Then I reconsidered. Maybe I needed a little buzz to complete this conversation with Hannah.

  “What do you have?” I asked.

  “Jack. Jim. Take your pick”

  “Jack,” I sighed. “No ice.”

  She busied herself fixing our drinks while I thought hard about how to get my point across.

  She came back and handed me a squat tumbler glass. “ Now. What are you talking about?”

  “Hannah,” I said wearily. “I’m so tired of this. Can’t we come to some kind of understanding? I want you to leave Paige alone. I want you to leave me alone.”

  I sipped, swallowing the burning heat of the whiskey as it scalded my throat.

  “Did you and your mother have a nice visit?” she asked with a wicked grin.

  “That’s the kind of shit I’m talking about. I’m done with all of these ridiculous games, Hannah!”

  “Okay. You want out? I’ll give you your freedom. On one condition.”

  “What’s that?” I asked warily.

  “One more night.”

  “One more night of what?” I stared at her and then realization slammed into me. “Oh, hell no. Not a chance.”

  “Really Clay?” She stood up and pulled off her top, revealing her very naked, very large breasts underneath. “You can’t forget about squeaky clean Paige for just one more night with me?”

  She reached forward and grabbed my arm, pulling me down the hall.

  I let her pull me, thinking fuzzily about what I could say to possibly get through to her.

  She sat down on her bed, facing me, and patted the spot next to her. She leaned back on her elbows.

  “Sit, babe,” she instructed sweetly.

  The sudden move in location was startling. Her bedroom had clothes strewn over every surface. Trash littered the floor. I remained standing.

  “Hannah,” I began. “Is there something you want? From me? I’ve told you that Paige and I are together now, and that what you and I had is over. What do you want from me?”

  “I want you,” Hannah said simply. “I don’t want your stupid explanations or excuses. I want the life you promised me. And I won’t settle for anything less.”

  Red haze settled over my vision. She wasn’t listening. I wasn’t doing this anymore. I didn’t have the patience to coddle her, to make her see reason. She was going to make me do this the hard way.

  I took a step toward her ready to tell her where she could shove her offer of one more night. And then I stumbled clumsily.

  “What the fuck?” I mumbled.

  I mumbled because my tongue was suddenly too thick in my mouth.

  “What’s wrong with you?” Hannah asked, still smiling sweetly from her bed.

  “I don’t…I’m not…” I tried to put a sensible thought together and failed. “I don’t feel very good.”

  “Oh, sweetie!” she exclaimed, jumping off the bed. “Lay down. Let me get you a cold towel for your head.”

  “I don’t want to lay down,” I snapped, wobbling dangerously.

  I lurched toward the bed and placed my hands on the duvet, breathing heavily.

  My eyes slid to one side, locked on the tumbler sitting on the nightstand. I tried to stand up again and my head spun so violently my stomach began tumbling over and over and I had the strong urge to vomit.

  I fell back on the bed, staring straight up at the ceiling. The room spun dizzily, and I closed my eyes. I heard Hannah moving close by.

  “You’re crazy,” I slurred. “You’ve gone fucking crazy.”

  “Oh, you haven’t seen me crazy yet,” she said.

  The sweet voice was gone, replaced by icy venom. “You want to walk away from me, Clay? I gave too much. Too much time wasted on a man that was just going to walk away as soon as some damsel in distress looked your way. You don’t know me very well, Clay, if you think I’m just going to stand here and let you make a fool of me. Just take it lying down. That’s not me. Not me at all. You won’t get another single thing from me, Clay Forbes, except sweet revenge.”

  She reached into my pockets, feeling around for something. She grabbed a handful of crown jewels as she searched, eliciting a sharp grunt from me. “Oh, I know how you like it, baby. Just you wait.”

  She pulled my phone out of my pocket. I tried to raise an
arm to stop her, but my limbs were too heavy, like I had liquid lead running through my veins instead of plasma.