American Honey

by Heidi McLaughlin

  I have everything I need for this upcoming semester ready to go. I’ve thrown myself into keeping busy by buying stuff for school or the house and also cleaning. Dad gives me funny looks most of the time, but still never asks any questions. I know I can go to him with anything and everything, but since this happened last year in Louisiana, I don’t deem it something to worry him with.

  My phone rings and I jump to see who it is. I set the pile of clothes in my hand on the bed and smile when I see Sienna’s name. “Hey Sienna,” I answer.

  “Hey Shay, what’s going on?” she asks.

  “Just cleaning and folding clothes. I swear I think I’m going to go into the maid business soon.” I laugh.

  “You’re still cleaning like crazy?.”

  “Yes, I’m still cleaning. I’m trying to get everything I need done before Wyatt comes to pick me up.”

  “You’re still seeing him? Wow, I’m surprised.” She snorts. “I just wanted to call and check on you. I miss the hell out of you.”

  “Yes, I’m still seeing him. He’s a nice guy, Sienna. I miss you too.”

  We talk for a few more minutes before hanging up the phone. Dad should be home soon and I want to have all the clothes put up. The dishes were done hours ago and I’m running out of busy work. This isn’t good. Memories of Beau always pop up in my head when the busy work runs out. His eyes, lips, and oh god his touch. Those memories like to pop back up after a year and it drives me completely insane. Knowing I’ll never be affected by a single touch again just kills me. He was it for me and I let him go. I learned last summer that dirt roads were for more than just riding along, they were for falling in love. Beau Granger taught me all about love. That dirt road changed my life.

  Wyatt Perry is a good guy though. I’ve been seeing him for four months and he makes me happy, or at least that’s what I’m attempting to convince myself. Truth is, I compare him to Beau when I shouldn’t.

  I toss my phone back onto the bed and hear it ding. My heart begins racing when I see Beau’s name on my phone. I haven’t seen his name in a year and to see it now, it has my heart cutting flips and my breathing is erratic. It’s just a text message and I want to see what it says but I don’t wants to seem desperate to open it. Sitting on the bed, I stare at the phone closely and count to ten before picking it up.

  His name on my phone sends chills throughout my body. I tap the message and feel a slow smile instantly spread across my face as I read.

  Beau: There hasn’t been a single moment since that summer that I haven’t thought about you. I know I’ve been distant, but I just wanted to see how you were doing.

  His message evokes all of those memories inside and I want to answer, but I’m not sure what to say. What do you say to something like that? Sorry for falling in love with you but not being able to admit it? Sorry for leaving you hanging without a single goodbye? I don’t think anything I could ever tell him would be able to justify any of that. I decide not to answer and try to find more busy work to do. It wouldn’t be fair to Wyatt for me to answer it.

  Thirty minutes pass and I have the bathroom practically squeaky clean. I could eat off the toilet seat, not that I want to. That’s just how clean it is. I hear the door open and Dad calls my name. “Hey Shayleigh, I’m home.”

  “Hey Dad, I’m just finishing up some cleaning.” I place the cleaning spray underneath the bathroom sink and stand up to admire my work.

  Dad comes into meet me and stares at my latest conquest. He shakes his head laughing before stopping and patting the pockets in his pants. “I think I left my phone in the car, do you mind going to get it for me? I have a client that’s supposed to call me back. I can’t believe I took it out of my pocket.”

  I look at him a little funny. It’s not like him to ask me something completely off the wall like this when he could just go get it himself. I’m a little baffled. “Uh, yeah I can do that. Let me wash my hands. How was work?”

  “Oh, same as every other day. I’d ask how your day was, but I can clearly see. The house looks good, Shayleigh.”

  “Thanks Dad. I’m just killing time before the semester starts. You know it’ll be tough on me when I’m back into the swing of things.” I tell him as I dry my hands on my shorts.

  He pats me on the shoulder and smiles. “I know, but I’m so proud of you.”

  I smile back as I remember he asked me to get his phone. “I’ll be right back with your phone Dad.” I tell him as I turn to walk into the kitchen.

  I’m humming one of my favorite Justin Moore songs. Funny how this was the song Beau and I danced to a year ago, I wish I could just learn to let that go. I’m still humming along really getting into it as I open the front door. My heart stops and I have to blink, there is no way I’m seeing this right now. I think I’ve officially lost my mind or I’ve been inhaling too many cleaning products. No way in hell is Beau Granger standing in front of me.

  Chapter 15

  One Year Later

  Beau

  Two months ago, I moved abruptly from my comfort zone in Lake Charles, Louisiana, to Springfield, Missouri. Why would I make such a sudden move? I did it for her. I let her walk out of my life without fighting like I should have. My gut twists now just thinking of how easily I let her slip through my hands. When she wouldn’t answer my phone calls or texts, I knew something had to be done. Life as I knew it would never be the same again. She wrecked me and I’d let her do it again if it meant I could hold her in my arms one more time. That is why I’m in here now.

  Shay’s best friend, Sienna, helped immensely with this whole move. She gave me Shay’s address and I admit, I felt like a creeper the first time I drove past her house. Knowing she was merely a few feet from me made my heart pound relentlessly against my chest. I have to see her, but not yet.

  Sienna’s last phone call was a few days ago and I decide it’s time. I can’t live my life in the shadows, lurking around and watching her every move. I need to see her and see if she still feels what she said she did for me last year. Just seeing her from a distance awakens all those feelings and without a shadow of a doubt, I know I still feel all those things.

  I park my truck in front of her driveway and let out the breath I’ve been holding. It’s now or never. My feet touch the ground and begin moving forward all on their own. I know what I want and I’m here to get it.

  “Can I help you, son?” My eyes look over to see an older man approaching me. There’s no doubt this is Shay’s dad. They are spitting images of each other.

  “Yes sir, my name is Beau Granger.” I say extending my hand to him. He takes my hand in giving it a firm shake. His lips curl up into a smile as he tells me it’s nice to meet me. “I’m a friend of Shay’s from Louisiana and I was wondering if she was home.”

  He looks me up and down. He looks at me the way you would expect a father to look at the guy interested in his daughter. “She’s here. Would you like to come inside?” he offers.

  Panic hits me for a second. She has no clue I’m even here, so I don’t want to startle her by just walking into her house. Standing outside doesn’t make it any better, but this feels safer. “No sir, she isn’t expecting me and I don’t want to barge in. I’ll wait out here if that’s ok with you.”

  “Sure, Beau, you said?”

  “Yes sir.”

  “I’ll send her out here. It was nice to meet you.” He tells me.

  “Nice to meet you too sir.”

  My hands find my pockets and I begin to rock back and forth on the balls of my feet. It took a lot of guts to finally get me here and I only hope this was a good decision. Will her eyes light up when she sees me? Will she be surprised?

  The sound of the doorknob turning churns my stomach. The churning is almost more than I can bare, this is it. It’s now or never. She looks more beautiful than she did a year ago. She still has the power to take my breath away. Her eyes lock with mine and they widen. She’s shocked and I’m hoping it’s in a good way.

  After mo
ments of silence and me still rocking on the balls of my feet, she finally breaks the silence. “Beau, um, hey. What are you doing here? How did you find me?”

  I swallow a gulp as I get ready to speak. This moment has me so nervous. The palms of my hands are sweating inside my pockets and my heart is racing. “Don’t be mad at Sienna, but she gave me your address. I had to see you. I spent the last year feeling sorry for myself and how things went down.”

  Her eyes widen like she can’t believe I’m here. Hell, I can’t believe I’m really here. “You drove all the way here?” She asks with her brow scrunched.

  “I did. I only stopped once, I had to get here as soon as possible.”

  “Why?” she asks.

  I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I pull my hands from my pockets and run them through my hair. “Because, I love you Shay. I love you so damn much and I needed you to see that this is real. That wasn’t just some dirt road summer love, this is the real deal for me. You are it, Shay. You are everything I want and need, and if that means I move up here for you, then dammit, I will.”

  The tears that form in her eyes make me want to wrap my arms around her and hold her tight but I don’t want to overstep any boundaries. Shay takes a deep breath and begins nervously rubbing her hands together. “Beau, this scares the shit out of me. I’ve never loved anyone in my life. I met you and you turned all that around. I thought it was easier to shut you out and leave because of the distance, but I do love you.”

  Hearing her say those words ignites my soul. Those are the three words I’ve been longing to hear from her beautiful lips. I pull her hand into mine and remember just how electrifying her touch is. I remember how perfectly it fits in mine. Only mine.

  “I want to make you happy, Shay. I want to be the reason you smile every day. I want to be everything you want and need, will you let me be that for you? This past year has been fucking miserable. I can’t do it without you.”

  “I can’t ask you to move up here Beau, that’s selfish. You have a life down there.” She attempts to argue.

  My head cocks to the side and I grin. If only she already knew…but she doesn’t. “Shay, you aren’t asking me to. I told you I will because I want to. I’ll get an apartment and start my own damn business here. If it means I’m with you, I’ll move every damn star in the sky.”

  The tears that formed in her eyes earlier begin to cascade down her porcelain cheeks. I can’t fight it anymore, I step forward and wrap my arms around her. I hold onto her tightly as I tell her, “Shh, Shay, don’t cry. I’m here and I’m never leaving you again. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did that night, but I didn’t know what else to do. I never thought I would end up falling for you like I did, but it just happened.”

  “Trust me, I know all about that.” she sniffles “I thought I could just go down there and have fun, and then you came along with your amazing self. Who the hell would have thought I was going to fall in love with busty Beau?” she attempts to joke before turning serious. “But Beau, I have to tell you something…”

  I can’t hear another word. I have to taste her soft kiss. It’s been a year since those lips have been on mine and my body is craving that sweetness. My lips crash against hers and my insides explode into a fit of anticipation as our tongues collide. Her kiss is like honey. It’s so damn sweet and I can’t get enough. Her arms wrap around my neck as the kiss deepens and I can’t help the growl that escapes my throat. Shay breaks the kiss leaving me completely and utterly breathless. We’re both standing there trying to regain our composure.

  “Beau, this is unexpected. I really need to tell you something.” She says still trying to regain her control.

  “I know it is Shay, I’m sorry.” I say as I kiss the tip of her nose. “I just want you. I’ll be here until the day you tell me to leave. Just please, don’t leave me again.”

  “Beau, listen please.” She says through a shaky voice. With the kiss we just shared, how can she be so on edge? It’s almost like she’s treating me like a complete stranger and I’m not sure how to take this.

  A voice breaks through before she can say another word and it startles me. It’s the voice of another guy. “Shay?”

  I turn to see a guy standing behind me. My heart begins the slow downfall from this insane rollercoaster. My heart isn’t strapped in and it’s plummeting at a dangerous rate.

  “Shay,” he says again. “Is everything ok? Who is this?”

  My heart just hit the damn pavement and I look between a very uncomfortable Shay and whoever this guy is. The guy continues to look me up and down. Shay is speechless so I take matters into my own hands.

  “I’m Beau. I’m a friend of Shay’s from Louisiana.” I extend my hand to whoever this is in a friendly manner.

  He gives me a strange look before raising his eyebrow, “Do you kiss all your friends like that?”

  “Wyatt, it’s not what you think.” Shay tells him. My eyes meet her in a strange look as I nervously run my hands through my hair. Her feet shuffle nervously and her hands become just as restless.

  “I hope it’s not what I think.” He says. “If it is then I’ll be going.”

  “No. I’m ready. Beau was just stopping by to say hi, right?” she looks over to me. As if my heart hadn’t just hit the damn ground, Shay is now stomping on it in an unforgiving manner. Who does Wyatt think he is and why is he with my Shay?

  “Uh, yeah. I’ll let you two get going.” I step forward pulling her in for a hug. As I hold her body close, I breathe in every ounce of her sweetness. I moved all the way here to be with her without telling her and some douche has moved in on my territory. I can’t let this happen. Before I break the hug, I softly whisper into her ear, “I moved here for you Shay. I let you go once. That damn summer changed my life. I need you and I love you. I won’t stop until you’re mine. We belong together and you know that.”

  I break the hug and give Wyatt a polite grin before walking to my truck. As I drive away, I shake my head. This sure as hell isn’t how I imagined this would go. We were supposed to see each other and everything was supposed to be scripted perfectly. She’s supposed to be my happily ever after. I’m defeated but not for long. Shay belongs with me, my heart knows it. My damn heart led me miles away from home just to be with her. She’s the only one it beats for and I meant every damn word I told her. I won’t stop until she’s mine.

  Beau & Shay’s story will continue in Destined For a Dirt Road….Coming Soon

  Cystic fibrosis (CF) is a life-threatening genetic disease that primarily affects the lungs and digestive system. An estimated 30,000 children and adults in the United States (70,000 worldwide) have CF. To date there is no cure.

  Jennifer Foor:

  The Storm

  Thank you to all of the girls involved with American Honey. It is such a pleasure to be a part of something so special.

  My beta readers: Kristy, Kayla, Catherine, Emma, Jennifer, Kasey

  Without you I would be lost with this. I love you to the moon and back.

  And of course, thank you to everyone reading this. I appreciate it so much.

  Chelsea Landon:

  Remember Tonight

  Thank you to the girls for letting me be a part of such an amazing anthology with some of the best writers. I’m so blessed to be able to do this and have fun while doing it. And to my family for allowing me to spend a little time with these characters.

  Megan Smith:

  Finding Ours

  I have to thank my husband and my little monkey. I love you both more than I could ever put into words. Things are changing and I can’t see where they take us. My beta readers, thank you for helping me with the southern ways. This Jersey girl has a lot to learn. LOL. Jen Bradley and Danita Bunce, I don’t think I’d be able to function without your daily help. It’s hard to find people you can trust these days who will have your back and always support your work and always be willing to help out when I need it. I seriously love you girls, thank you for everyth
ing!

  Heidi McLaughlin, Marissa Carmel, Jenn Foor, Scarlett Metal, Melissa Collins, Carey Heywood, Chelsea Landon, and Heidi Jo B, thank your for allowing me to be a part of this anthology! Love you girls! Elaine, Elaine Elaine!!! What in the world would I have done without you? Oh that’s right…I wouldn’t have finished. Thank you for helping me perfect Rhea and Tanner’s story! My Magnificenet’s thank you for all the pimping, love and support you have shown me! I couldn’t be where I am without you! And, yes, now I will start to work on Eli’s story for you all.

  Scarlett Metal:

  Play It Again

  Thank you to Andy, Luke, Troy, and Jeff for teaching me life was more fun in the country. Thank you to the girls of this anthology; you’re all rock stars and I'm honored to be a part of this. Thank you to Mr. Metal for keeping us a little bit redneck.

  Heidi McLaughlin:

  The Reeducation of Savannah McGuire

  Thank you to everyone who had a hand in TRoSM, especially to the amazing authors who are a part of this Anthology.

  Melissa Collins:

  Tangled Vines

  I feel so honored to be able to be a part of this project. Being part of an anthology isn’t always easy. You have ten authors, ten ideas, ten opinions, ten creative voices all coming together to hopefully work together harmoniously. Working with this group has been a pleasure. So thank you to my fellow authors for including me and working toward the common goal of our charity. I’d also like to say thank you to my family, for putting up with me while I write and edit. Without your support, none of this would be possible.

  HJ Bellus:

  Walk Me Down

  What a wild ride! I’m so blessed to be able to write my stories. Thank you to all my readers and fans for loving on each one. This journey has been absolutely amazing. I’m looking forward to the next part of it.