Sing A New Song

by Michelle Lindo-Rice

  Chapter Thirty-four

  Ryan entered his home and slumped into the couch, tremendously exhausted. He was going to have to slow down. He was getting too old for the constant running around his business dictated. He had been gone for a whole month, and he missed his wife.

  He called out, but no one was home.

  Ryan placed a call to Tiffany. “Hi. I am back in town until Thursday. So I’ll take the test if you can work your magic to get me in.”

  “Thanks, Ryan. Karlie and I both appreciate your doing this. I just want to get some closure.”

  “Okay. Just give me a time and place, and I will be there.”

  “Okay. Thanks for keeping your promise to call, and I will make all the arrangements and get back to you.”

  After getting off the phone, Ryan allowed his mind to wander to thoughts that were more desirable. He thought about Patricia and how he missed her terribly when he was away.

  Ryan moved, and something crinkled beneath him. Realizing it was a crumpled piece of paper, Ryan picked it up.

  It was Brian’s report card. Ryan leaned forward once he saw the grades listed there. He had not known his son was even going to school. But evidently, Brian had been doing the right thing and had the Bs and Cs to prove it. There was not one derogatory comment from any of his teachers, and they all spoke about his dramatic improvement.

  Suddenly, Ryan remembered that Brian had called him and left a voice mail asking him to call him back. Ryan had played the message right before the plane took off and had completely forgotten to return his son’s call. He did not know how that had managed to slip his mind.

  Ryan placed a call to Brian’s cell but got his voice mail. “Brian, this is Dad. Please call me.”

  For the first time in a long time, Ryan felt awful and shamefaced. He had not spoken to or seen Brian in days, and that was unacceptable. Ryan had not even been there to see Brian’s expression when he received his new car, which Patricia had bought him. Thinking about it, Ryan doubted he could identify Brian’s favorite food or movie, or anything else, for that matter.

  “I’ve got to do better.”

  Brian was obviously trying to reform his ways, and Ryan was never around to congratulate him on it. He felt an urgency to correct that.

  His cell phone rang. “Hello?”

  “I’d like to speak to Mr. Ryan Oakes please. This is Detective Younger.”

  “This is he.”

  “Mr. Oakes, I’m going to need you to come down to the precinct. Your son, Brian Oakes, and a friend were arrested tonight.”

  Ryan’s heart almost stopped beating at that news. “Arrested? What are the charges?”

  “Mr. Oakes, we will tell you more once you are here. You might want to give your attorney a call.”

  As soon as the call ended, Ryan called Counselor Graham and then Patricia. She was in surgery, so he scribbled a quick note and left it for her. He then drove over to the police station. His heart pounded and ached at the same time. He visualized Brian behind bars, and the image shook him to his core.

  Chilled, Tiffany pulled on a sweater over her turtleneck and went back to the window to wait on the private car service Winona had previously arranged for her. Tiffany did not feel well enough to drive, so she already planned to tip the driver, who was crazy enough to venture out in weather like this.

  She prayed while she waited. “Lord, I pray for Brian. Help him. Heal his heart.” It was simple and to the point. Though it lacked the flowery embellishments of others’ never-ending prayers, Tiffany believed God heard.

  About twenty minutes later, Tiffany entered the police station. Ryan saw her at once and got up to give her his seat. But he couldn’t hide his surprise. “Brian called you?”

  “Yes. So what’s going on?” Tiffany didn’t feel she had to explain the relationship she had with his son. That was something Ryan would have been aware of had he been actively involved in his son’s life.

  “I don’t know,” he whispered. “The only thing they told me is to sit here and wait and someone would see me.” Ryan grappled with the fact that Brian had called Tiffany—and not him.

  “Where’s your attorney?” Tiffany asked.

  “He’s still on his way.”

  “So did you at least get to see Brian?”

  “No.”

  Tiffany saw the worry and love etched all over Ryan’s face. She only wished Brian could witness that. Someone moved, and Ryan was finally able to sit next to her. He grabbed Tiffany’s hand for some comfort. She literally felt his hand shake in her grasp and gave it a tight squeeze to reassure him.

  After exactly thirty-three minutes, Counselor Graham walked through the door. He met with Ryan briefly before going to talk to the arresting officer. After a brief exchange of words, Graham went back to the holding cell to speak with Brian.

  A couple of minutes later, Graham walked into their view. He spoke to the arresting officer before heading over to them.

  “Brian is scared but all right. The police are about to question him, and I am going to be there to guide him through the process.”

  “Has he said anything about what he did?” Ryan asked Graham. He did not wait for a response before firing off another question. “Can I go in to sit with him?”

  “Brian told me that he went by his friend Alfred’s house to hang out since he was home alone. Alfred asked him to drive him somewhere, and Brian agreed. He said that he was not speeding or anything, but the police pulled him over. The officer searched the car and found that Alfred had marijuana in his pocket. The officer arrested them both immediately. I believe they impounded his car. I will get the address for you.” Graham excused himself for a minute to get a cup of water.

  Once he returned, he said, “Brian was not doing any drugs, Mr. Oakes. He did not know his friend had any on him, either. The good thing is that Alfred is backing up Brian’s story and confessed that the drugs were his. Hopefully, they should release Brian after all the paperwork is done.”

  Ryan repeated his other question. “So am I allowed in there for this? After all, Brian is still a minor.”

  “Well, you are allowed, but Brian does not want you in there,” Graham admitted.

  “Say what?” Ryan went red in the face and looked as if he was about to blow his top.

  Tiffany had remained silent during their exchange but now stepped forward to place her hand on Ryan’s arm. “Ryan, respect your son’s wishes.”

  “Ask him again,” Ryan commanded. “Tell him his father wants to be in there.”

  Graham declined to comment and went back into the room to speak with Brian. But Brian could not be cajoled or persuaded. Graham stuck his head out and mouthed the word “No” before going back into the room.

  Hearing the door close with a bang, Ryan lost his fire and slumped back into his chair. Tiffany empathized with him, but she knew that Brian had good reason to feel the way that he did.

  “Why doesn’t he want me in there with him?” Ryan said with a small sob. “I am his father. I should be there.”

  Tiffany felt Ryan’s desolation and knew she had to make him at least understand. “Maybe Brian does not want you there because he thinks you are going to jump on him. Maybe he does not like the fact that the only time you seem to pay him any attention is when he gets into trouble. Maybe he resents the fact that you are never around.”

  Tiffany paused, half expecting Ryan to take a swing at her for her candor. She had no right interfering in his affairs. Ryan’s relationship with his son, or lack of it, was not her business. Tiffany wondered if she should have bitten her tongue but dismissed any regret. He had asked a question, and she had told him no lie. He was a grown man and the head of major corporations. Ryan could surely handle a few tough truths.

  Ryan took out his handkerchief and wiped at the tears that filled his eyes. “You are right. Brian wants nothing to do with me because I am a bad father.”

  Tiffany had not expected Ryan to react with such emotion and sensitivity. He d
idn’t seem like the type to break down in tears. She felt her heart soften, especially since he had not taken affront at her statement.

  Tiffany held Ryan in a loose embrace and soothed him. “Ryan, you are not a bad father. You need to spend time to get to know your son. Ryan, that is something you can change, starting today. Brian loves you, and he only wants to know that you are going to love him unconditionally. He only wants to know that you believe in him.”

  “What if he rejects me? Or tells me it’s too late?” Ryan said, worried.

  Holding his hand, heedless of who was there to see, Tiffany prayed again.

  At the end of her prayer, Tiffany was glad to see his tears ebb. She was not used to seeing men cry like this and did not know how to handle it with finesse. “Ryan, I do not think it’s too late. It is never too late for love. Just know that Brian does not need your censure. He needs you to shower him with a lot of love and attention. He’ll never be too old for that.”

  He must have been contented with her answer, because he seemed occupied with his own thoughts after that. Tiffany remained quiet to give him time to digest everything that she had said to him. She hoped that Ryan would make something positive come out of this incident, because Brian needed him desperately.

  Tiffany could not help but think about her own comment. It is never too late for love. As she’d heard herself say it, Tiffany realized that it was true. She should not prevent herself from experiencing love because she was dying.

  Not God’s love.

  Not Darnell’s love.

  Tiffany knew that she needed to embrace life with everything that she possessed. She needed to live her life to the fullest, just like anybody else.

  Tiffany waited with Ryan for two hours, until Brian was finally released. Patricia called, but Ryan told her it was best for her to wait at home. Tiffany’s heartstrings literally constricted when she saw Brian walk out with his head hung low. She only hoped that Ryan heeded her advice and went easy with his son.

  Tears came to her eyes when she saw Ryan rush over to embrace his son. Brian looked up at his father with surprise before awkwardly returning the hug.

  Brian’s arrest had been a much-needed wake-up call for both of them, and she could only hope both men heeded the warning.

  Tiffany got home that night and dashed under the covers, knowing she was going to pay for her stint out in the cold tomorrow. Going to the station and staying there so long was not a wise move on her part, for now tiredness seeped through her spine. Yet she had felt so strong when she was there. Now her aching joints were a big reminder that she was not well at all. She reached over her bed to check the answering machine.

  Karlie had called to say she was staying the night at Tanya’s.

  Darnell had called too, to tell her that he was coming over early in the morning to take her out to breakfast.

  It was almost eleven o’clock, but Tiffany returned his call. “Hey. I just wanted to hear your voice.”

  “Hi,” Darnell said. “How did things go with Brian?”

  Tiffany filled him in. She ended with, “I told Ryan we could just put off the testing until another time, and knowing him, we’re probably looking at next month some time, which I hope is not the case.”

  “How do you feel about that?”

  “Honestly, I am fine. I need a mental break, Darnell. I am just so tired.” Tiffany yawned.

  “Okay, I’m going to let you get some rest. So I’ll just read Psalm ninety-one, and then we’ll pray.” She heard a drawer open and close and Bible leaves being shuffled before Darnell began reading. “He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. . . .” Tiffany enjoyed listening to his voice. It soothed her, and she finally drifted into sleep.

  Patricia entered Brian’s room. Ryan had showed her his report card, and she was so proud of him. She was relieved to see him finally making the most of his God-given potential. Brian was so talented and gifted, and she was glad that he was beginning to do something positive with his abilities. Patricia knew that Tiffany and Karlie had a lot to do with that. Brian seemed to be flourishing under their friendship.

  Privately, Patricia conceded that in a way she had given up on her son. She had stopped expecting him to do the right thing. Tired of the phone calls and the complaints from Brian’s teachers, she had consoled herself with the fact that even though she could not do anything for her own child, she was saving the lives of others. Patricia also did not have a clue how to reach Brian. Her hat went off to Tiffany. Tiffany seemed to share a bond with her daughter and with Brian that amazed Patricia.

  Patricia watched the way in which Tiffany communicated with the teens and marveled. She was beginning to see that all the parenting books that she bought and read could be wrong. Patricia was learning that every child was different, and she had to make a bigger effort to get to know and accept her son the way that he was. That required some rethinking on her part, because science and reason had governed and dictated her entire life. Raising a child put all those theories in the garbage can. It was completely out of her realm.

  Nevertheless, Patricia needed to have a heart-to-heart talk with her son. She was very upset about his arrest. Luckily, Brian’s friend had come through for him, or else he would be facing time. God had definitely smiled on him.

  “Brian.” Patricia gently shook him awake.

  Brian swatted her hand away and burrowed deeper into his pillow. Patricia shook him again. This time Brian slowly opened his eyes.

  “Brian, I need to talk to you.”

  “Mom?”

  “Yes. Brush your teeth, and meet me in the kitchen in five minutes.”

  Brian hurried to do her bidding and went into the kitchen. He glanced at the clock. He could not remember the last time he had been up at eight o’clock on a Saturday morning.

  “Sit down, Brian,” Patricia instructed.

  Brian did not argue with her and took a seat around the small dinette. It was an antique made out of solid mahogany wood. The refurbished chairs were exquisite. Most of the time, Brian did not eat in here. He often camped out in the family room. That way if he spilled anything, his mother would not lose her cool.

  “Brian let me start off by saying how proud your father and I are of you. Your grades are a great improvement. That is why I cannot understand why you would still be hanging out with those lowlifes that you call your friends.” Patricia looked at him, demanding an answer.

  Ryan came in on the tail end of her comment and sat down to listen. He wanted an answer as well.

  Brian gulped. This was the first time in a long time that Brian could remember both of his parents sitting before him. He thought about the censure in their voices and wondered if they were ready for the truth.

  He decided that it was time that he told them what was on his mind. His brief stint in jail was his wake-up call that he couldn’t keep his feelings hidden. He was ready to come clean. “You both do not have a clue how I feel, do you?” Brian said with repressed anger. He jumped from the chair and walked around the table several times, grappling with how to express himself.

  “Then please explain.” Ryan sounded tortured.

  “We are listening, and we want to understand,” Patricia added gently.

  “Is this what it took?” Brian bellowed, coming to an abrupt halt. “It took me getting locked up for you two to pay me any attention.”

  “That is not true,” Patricia fervidly denied. “We both love you, Brian.”

  “It is true,” Brian vehemently shot back, with tears falling from his eyes as his emotions came bubbling to the surface with full force. “All my life I have lived in the shadows. You both love each other so much that you have no room left for me.” Seeing his father’s mouth open, Brian held up his hands to thwart an interruption. “All my friends think I am so lucky that my parents are still together. But I do not feel the same way, because I have always had to compete for your love.” Brian began crying again. “You two
are always off together somewhere and never once think to include me.”

  “We did not think you would want to hang out with a couple of old fogies. We didn’t think kids your age thought it was cool,” Ryan defended with a gasp.

  “You never asked,” Brian accused. “You just assumed. The only time you two ever pause from your busy schedule is when I get into trouble. You ask why I still hang out with my friends. Well, I will tell you. It is because when Alfred called, he told me how much he missed hanging out with me. I thought that I owed it to him to go, because I could not remember the last time my parents ever said those words to me. I am so sick of being in this lonely house all by myself. Tiffany was the one who made me realize that I was only hurting myself with all the crazy stunts I pulled just to get your attention. That is why I started going to school, and I even quit smoking. But you both were too busy to even realize that.”

  Patricia started to cry from the impact of his truthful words. She saw now just how selfish she and Ryan had been. Brian was right. She had not noticed that he had quit that bad habit.

  “You made your mother cry,” Ryan said to Brian. “Is that what you wanted?”

  Brian got up. “No. I just want . . .” He stopped, unsure of how to continue.

  “What do you want, Brian? Please tell me, because I do not have a clue,” Ryan stated.

  “I want to feel as if my parents love me. Especially you, Dad.” Brian finally found the courage to utter the words that he had been dying to say for years.

  “I love you, son,” Ryan said with tenderness. “I have loved you from the day I saw you. That is why I love your mother so much, because she gave you to me.”

  Brian choked up at his father’s admission. The burden around his heart lifted, and he felt joy surge within his body at his father’s sincerity. He saw love shining from his father’s eyes. Eyes that were centered on him, not his mother. Overcome, Brian jumped up to give his father a tight hug. “I am sorry, Dad.”