Sing A New Song

by Michelle Lindo-Rice

  “Somebody has been paying attention to Pastor Johnston’s messages,” Myra said with much self-deprecation. “I know I am not being much of an example to you right now, and I am sorry for that.” Myra bent her head and cried.

  Tiffany lifted Myra’s head. “Myra, I don’t think less of you. I think of you as human. Maybe God allows us to go through certain situations to bring us closer to Him. If I hadn’t been diagnosed with cancer, I probably would be too busy trying to stay on top of the pop charts to even think about God. But now I am a daughter of Christ, and I finally feel truly loved.”

  “You’re right, Tiffany,” Myra acknowledged. “God is testing me, and I keep failing the test.”

  “No, Myra, you’re testing God. You can’t test the one who knows it all. I’ve learned that, and I have to accept that.”

  Myra wiped her face and looked Tiffany solemnly in the eyes. “Tiffany, look at you, a newborn babe preaching to me.”

  Tiffany gave a self-conscious chuckle. “Well, I wouldn’t say that I’m preaching, but I will say it has to be God.”

  “Hallelujah.” Myra exhaled. “Thank you. It felt good just to unburden.”

  “I feel the same way, Myra. Hey, did you talk over your taking a leave of absence with Neil?”

  Myra squirmed. “No. Not yet.”

  “Well, are you going to?”

  “Yes.”

  “Will you tell him today?”

  “Yes.”

  “Can you say something other than yes?”

  “Yes. I love you, girl.”

  “I love you too, friend.”

  Chapter Thirty-three

  Monday, January 19. Martin Luther King Jr. Day. How had it gotten here so fast? Tiffany wondered. Darnell was at her house at seven o’clock in the morning.

  Winona had referred her to a specialist known for discretion and quick results. She had previously arranged for Pierce to provide his specimen, so Tiffany, Darnell, and Karlie huddled in her Escalade. Darnell drove them to the clinic that would finally answer the big question of Karlie’s paternity. At the last minute, Ryan had been called away on business, but he promised to reschedule.

  Two days after they took the test, Tiffany received the phone call.

  The results were in.

  The four of them raced over to the center as if there was a three-alarm fire. It was 99 percent conclusive that neither Darnell nor Pierce was Karlie’s father.

  “No, no, please. It cannot be.” Tiffany clutched her chest. Darnell grabbed Tiffany to keep her from falling.

  Pierce shouted, “Test it again. I know I’m her father. Just look at the resemblance. She looks like me.” He continued his diatribe in the vehicle until Darnell dropped him outside his gate.

  “You’ll get your check in the mail,” Tiffany coldly informed him. Not even Karlie’s presence had kept his greed at bay.

  “Thank the Lord for that small favor,” Darnell said as soon as the car door slammed. He took off at great speed.

  “I’m relieved that Pierce is not. I’m just glad to get that leech off my back for good.” Tiffany directed her words to Darnell, but her eyes were pinned on Karlie, who had remained conspicuously silent.

  Karlie turned her head. She had nothing to say, but her pain was evident by the tears that she wiped away.

  When Darnell pulled up to the house, Karlie got out of the car. “I’m going to Tanya’s,” she said and took off.

  Tiffany knew better than to stop her daughter then. Truly, she also needed some time alone to deal with the disclosure. “I was so sure—was hoping actually—that you were her father.”

  “I know it would have made things easier,” Darnell agreed.

  “I’ve got to go,” Tiffany said and opened the door. She dashed up the steps, opened her front door, ran up the stairs, and locked herself in the bathroom. “I thought Karlie was his, Lord. At least I had hoped she was.” She cried so hard that she started vomiting. Tiffany heaved over the toilet bowl countless times before she stretched out across the bathroom floor. Feeling the bile rise again, Tiffany started to get up when she saw blood. Tiffany knew that was not a good sign. Panic hit her full force, and she started hyperventilating.

  Hyperventilation led to more tears.

  “Tiffany. Are you okay in there?” From his tone, she knew Darnell’s mouth was pressed against the door.

  Darnell had not gone home, she realized. In a haze, it all came back to her that she had left her front door ajar. Tiffany dragged her body to the bathroom door. From her position on the floor, she answered him. “Yes, Darnell, I am okay. I just need some time. Okay? Go home to April and Amber. I promise to call you later.”

  Darnell tried to coax her into unlocking the door, but Tiffany just needed him to go.

  “I’ve got to talk to God,” she whispered.

  Those magic words led to his departure and a promise to call.

  “Lord, this is way too much for me to handle. I don’t know how to deal with this life-terminating disease and baby daddy drama at the same time. Plus, how do I handle falling in love with Darnell? God, please, just help me. I need you.”

  Tiffany finally found the strength to get to her feet and cracked open the door, expecting Darnell to pounce on her. Fortunately, he really had gone home. Disappointment washed over her being, and she walked into her bedroom. She dug out some kind of sleep apparel, changed, and went under the covers.

  Tiffany curled her body in a fetal position to enclose all the pain and hurt she was facing. If it were not for Karlie and God, she would end everything right there. She would imbibe all the pills she had left just so she would not have to deal with another day. However, Tiffany knew she could not. She was going to be there for her daughter to the bittersweet end. She owed Karlie that much.

  “Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you let me go through life believing a lie?” Karlie accused.

  Seeing the tears stream down Karlie’s face, Thomas knew the moment had come. He had just walked down the stairs to make himself some cereal when he saw Karlie sitting there.

  “So, Tiffany finally told you the truth?”

  “Yes, Mom told me, and when she did, I was so angry at you that I vowed never to call or speak to you again. But I realized that I needed answers and that instead of running, I need to face things head-on. My mother ran, and look where it got her. I refuse to run.”

  Thomas admired her courage. “You know you’re nothing like your mother was at your age. You got spunk. She did a really good job with you.”

  Karlie knew an evasion when she heard one. “Can you please just answer my question? Why didn’t you tell me the truth when I first came to see you all those months ago? Why did you keep on pretending to be my father, though you aren’t?”

  “Well,” Thomas said, hedging, “I don’t know for sure I am not your father.”

  “But why didn’t you tell me?” Karlie asked, persisting.

  She just wouldn’t let up. Thomas huffed. “Maybe I didn’t tell you because—”

  “Because what?”

  “Because I wanted you to be. That’s why. Karlie, I’ve loved you from the first time I saw you.”

  Karlie’s shoulders drooped, and she shook her head dejectedly. “Considering how you left when I was a baby and barely had any contact, you really expect me to believe that?”

  Thomas took her by the hand. He could see her reluctance, but at least she didn’t pull away. Good. That meant he could still rectify things. “I can see you don’t believe me. Put on your coat, and come with me.”

  “Aren’t you going to get dressed?” Karlie asked when she saw him push his feet into his house slippers and put a coat on over his plaid pajamas.

  “Don’t need to. Just come on.”

  The two left his house and got into his car. Thomas did not wait for the engine to warm up before he pulled off.

  “Where are we going?”

  “You’ll see. Just be patient.”

  Karlie sulked the entire ten minutes, unti
l he expertly pulled the car into the driveway. “Where are we?”

  “My mother’s house.”

  Karlie looked skeptical, but she got out of the car without a word. She did slam the door to make her displeasure clear. Just as they got to the front door, Karlie stopped and put a hand on his shoulder. “Uh, I’m a little scared. I mean, I’ve never met your mother before.”

  Thomas slapped his head. “Karlie, I am sorry. I am such an idiot. I didn’t even explain. My mother is not here. She’s at church or volunteering or something. She has nothing to do with why I brought you here. Come on.”

  Karlie breathed a sigh of relief. She didn’t know what to call Thomas, her maybe dad, and to meet her grandmother or non-grandmother would have been too much.

  Thomas walked Karlie through the house and into his art room.

  Karlie ran her hands all over his supplies and eyed his paintings.

  “Be careful,” Thomas called out sharply. Seeing her jump back, he softened his tone. “I’m working on a major commission and am just paranoid about something happening before I get done.”

  “I understand. Thanks for bringing me here.”

  Thomas went into his storage area and hunted through his paintings. He searched until he found what he was looking for. Triumph evident in every step, Thomas walked back into the room. “This is for you.”

  Karlie appeared quizzical, but she unwrapped the huge frame until she recognized the face. “It’s me.”

  “Yes, you were nine months old. I painted it from memory.”

  “Are you serious? You really painted this from scratch?”

  “Yes,” Thomas confirmed and with his finger poked his temple. “From here. I loved you from the first time I saw you. You were my little angel with all those curls. I mean, I just couldn’t get enough of you.”

  “Wow.” Karlie was speechless. It was impossible not to feel his love, as it was evident in every brushstroke.

  “Thanks. I don’t ever intend to part with it. I usually keep it hanging in the front foyer at my house, but I took it down to . . . you know . . . I don’t even remember why now.” Thomas scratched his head before taking the painting and placing it by the door. “I won’t forget it this time.” He grinned. Then he retrieved a gift-wrapped package and handed it to her.

  Holding her questions at bay, Karlie opened the present and lifted out a chenille blanket. “Ooohh. It’s so soft.” She rubbed it against her cheek.

  Thomas jumped like a kid. “Open it. Open it.”

  Karlie opened the blanket and stood up to get a good look at it. Her mouth dropped open. “The painting. You put my picture on here.”

  “Yes.” Thomas beamed. “I had it made for you. Karlie, I hope you like it and that you will keep it. It would really mean a lot to me.”

  “I will. Thanks so much. Daddy, are you going to take the paternity test?”

  Her calling him Daddy was not lost on Thomas. Karlie had judiciously avoided calling him anything before. “Um, Karlie, that’s between your mother and me.”

  “Listen, I know you’re angry with Mom, but think about me. I need to know who I belong to. Mom is dying. . . dying. I don’t know what’s going to happen to me once she’s gone, and . . .” Karlie broke into tears.

  Thomas felt like a heel. “Karlie, please. I just don’t want to know. And, okay, yes, maybe I am punishing your mother too. But I need time.”

  “I understand.” Karlie shrugged and looked down at her feet. In a small voice, she asked, “Can you take me home please?”

  “Karlie, I—”

  “Please just take me home.”

  Thomas complied, but when he dropped her off, he did say, “I’m sorry to disappoint you, Karlie.”

  “Neither Darnell nor Pierce passed the test. I mean, the paternity results were negative.”

  Thomas nodded. This meant he had a fifty-fifty chance. “I’ll think about it. Just give me some time to get my mind settled.”

  “Time is one thing I don’t have,” Karlie replied sadly.

  Neil walked over to Tiffany’s house, acknowledging that he had been purposely avoiding her. He’d had another dream about her that had totally perplexed him. He wished that he could just keep it out of his head. His throat was sore from the prayers of pardon to God. But his concern for her welfare overshadowed everything else.

  “Hi,” he greeted her once she answered the door.

  “Hey, yourself.” Tiffany stepped aside and silently watched him enter.

  “Came by to check on you,” Neil explained.

  “It’s been a while,” she commented wryly. “I missed you, Neil. Seeing you at church is not the same as when you call or come by.”

  Neil at once berated himself for his inconsiderate and selfish feelings. “I figured with Myra coming by and you dating Darnell that I am now low on the totem pole. I did leave a card in your mailbox.”

  “Don’t tell me you are going to get funny on me like that.” Tiffany slapped him playfully. “I need you. You know that, and I appreciated your card.”

  Neil saw the sincere emotions reflected in her eyes and smiled. “It’s good to hear that.”

  “Yeah, well, you’ll always be special to me in so many ways you cannot even begin to understand.”

  Neil wished her statement did not cause his insides to swell with happiness. “So how’re you feeling?”

  “Things are not looking so good lately.”

  “What do you mean?” Neil at once became alarmed. He knew from experience that Tiffany tended to understate everything.

  “I started coughing up blood again, and lately I have been so weak and cold. Nothing I do helps the chill,” Tiffany confessed. “Then the results came back, and neither Darnell nor Pierce is Karlie’s father.”

  Neil enveloped Tiffany in a huge embrace before releasing her. “So what about Ryan and Thomas?”

  “Well, I have to reschedule with Ryan, and I haven’t contacted Thomas since that day at the restaurant. I know Karlie has been spending time with him, but that hasn’t moved him to take the test.”

  “Tiffany, you have to,” Neil implored. “That way you will know for sure who the father is and eliminate the guessing game.”

  “You are right,” Tiffany confirmed. “But Thomas hates me.”

  “He does not,” Neil disagreed. “He is just angry.”

  “I don’t know.” Tiffany was not too sure.

  “So how’s Karlie taking the news?” Neil asked, changing the subject.

  “She seemed to be okay.”

  “And how’s everything with Darnell?” He asked the question uppermost in his mind.

  Tiffany blushed. “They could not be better. Things are going so good that I’m scared to tell him about how sick I’ve been feeling.”

  “You should,” Neil advised her. “He is your partner, and what affects you affects him.”

  “It’s not like that with us, Neil,” Tiffany argued. “We both agreed not to get emotional.”

  “You mean to tell me your heart is not involved?” Neil asked the question, though he knew her answer.

  Tiffany could not look him in the eyes but gave a small telling shrug.

  “I thought so. So you’d better open up to him and tell him what’s going on.”

  Neil left her house shortly after that and went home. As soon as he opened the door, he saw Myra waiting for him. They had barely spoken to each other ever since she started her leave of absence. Neil felt she should have spoken to him first about it, and the ensuing shouting match was one of the worst of their entire marriage.

  Myra wore the frown of a judge, and she had a huge box of doughnuts open. He knew what that meant. Nevertheless, he put on a brave front.

  “Waiting for me?” Neil asked, making light conversation.

  “Where are you coming from?”

  “Tiffany’s,” Neil answered and then asked, “Is there a problem with that?”

  “What’s going with you two? I mean, you are always over there and alway
s up in her face. You know more about her business than I do.”

  Neil looked at his wife as if she had suddenly sprouted horns. “She is dying, and she needs a friend. You know that because you are supposedly her best friend, and you’ve been going there, so you know how she is feeling. What else do you need to know?”

  “Did you ever sleep with her?”

  “What!” Neil exclaimed, and his eyes popped open at her question. Myra had hit him from left field with that question. For a split second, he wondered if he had called Tiffany’s name in his sleep during that dream, but then dismissed it. Myra would have mentioned that.

  “Did you ever sleep with Tiffany?” Myra spelled it out again. She picked up another doughnut and took a huge bite. “I want to know. It seems as if she has slept with everybody else around here, so why not you too?”

  “Myra, are you all right?” Neil looked keenly at his wife. Her dark mood was hard to handle, and Neil was unsure of how to communicate with her. It was ironic how he was able to help others with their relationships but seemed to be clueless when it came to his own.

  “Of course I am all right. Just quit stalling, and answer my question.” Myra got up and went to the refrigerator. She popped open one of the bottles of wine that they usually kept chilled and poured some in a paper cup.

  Neil watched, completely stumped, as she guzzled the liquid contents as if they were water. He wished he knew what had brought this on. Myra was behaving like she was on the verge of a breakdown.

  His confusion led to anger. “I can’t believe that you would even open your mouth to utter such garbage. Use all those degrees you have to think coherently. If you do not know me better than that by now, then I must be wasting my time.”

  Neil put his coat on, threw the door open, and slammed it behind him.

  Myra sat down at the table and cried. What was wrong with her? She knew that Neil was a rare breed of man that was capable of being committed to one woman. Myra berated herself that she had even allowed that thought to take root and fester in her mind.

  Myra knew it had a lot to do with the fact that her period was due in two days and her hormones were out of whack. She always seemed to go a little psycho because she was going to be in pain again. She was going to face the agony of having another potential child ripped from inside her. Myra honestly did not know if she could handle it. She needed a miracle.