“Just working a lot,” I commented, which I knew would upset her. She hated I spent so much time working.
“So what is going on? I’m sorry I had to cancel and us not meet up like we had planned.”
“I guess I better just come out with it, baby girl, I’m sick,” my dad said it and looked away, not wanting to face me.
“What do you mean?” It was too damn early to be hearing this.
“I have had a lot of health problems lately and your mother forced me to go to the doctor. Come to find out I have rectal cancer.”
“Dad, why didn't you tell me what was going on? I could have done something to help make you feel better, or taken you to appointments, or…”
“I’m the parent, not the child, Emma. I don't expect you to take care of me. Especially now with all the stress you’re under.”
“Dad, that is not how this works. I would have been there for you.”
“And you can be now.”
“So what do you have to do? What can I do?”
Mom spoke up, “Nothing, dear. You take care of you and we will take care of us. Dad is going to need treatment and we are going to take it one day at a time. We are hoping the treatment will take care of the disease and all will be fine. If not, then we will go from there. We have faith and so we want you to have that too.”
I smiled weakly. Dad was watching me so I had to be strong, but the thought about my father not being around to walk me down the aisle, or hold his first grandchild one day, made me want to break down in tears. This isn't fair. It couldn’t be happening. He did seem to be getting older to me but I just chalked that up to me aging, just as he was.
“This isn't a death sentence, Emma, I will do what I need to do to get my health back. I’m not throwing in the towel so not sure why you would,” Dad said, comforting me.
I got up and stood behind him. I put my arms around his neck. “Dad, I love you.”
“And I love you too. You concentrate on taking care of yourself. I do want you to seriously think about cutting your hours back though too. You have made a name at that company, putting in more hours than anyone, and brought in a couple million easy in the last two years.”
That was my father, trying to take the attention off of him, and putting it back on me. He hated attention.
“I know I need to.”
“Dear, that is not up to us, nor is it our say,” Mom butted in.
“I want our daughter to be happy. I think I do have a say in that.”
They began to bicker back and forth like they had my entire life, always ending in a kiss and going on about their merry way, acting like it never happened.
I smiled watching them and continued to drink my coffee. I could think of worse things on a Sunday morning, but I knew I had something I needed to pray for.
My life wouldn't be the same without my father in it.
“That worm! I could have rung his damn neck!” Breigh said, holding her hands like she had them around Cash’s neck. “I knew something was going to ruin the night. I knew it!”
“It didn't exactly ruin the night.” I certainly wasn't going to tell her about me going to his place after the restaurant.
I was stirring the creamer in my coffee with a smile on my face. It was a nice change in conversation after I had told her about my father. He was a role model for her too, as she was at my house a lot. She had hurt in her eyes that mirrored mine, but Breigh knew I wasn't going to want to continue discussing it.
“How do you figure? He showed up at a double date I arranged for us? Then you follow him and Caleb knew exactly where you were. Then you were gone FOREVER.”
I giggled.
“Seriously, it really pissed me off, Emma. It was embarrassing.”
“I didn't ask you to set me up with him. Hell, I told you when I met him I wasn't really interested. It was nothing against him, I just…”
“You want to continue bitching about Cash and how he treated you, and then continue to let it happen. How many times do you think I am going to listen to this crap?” she snapped, and I couldn’t say I blamed her.
I wished we were somewhere where wine was acceptable so she would chill out.
In all fairness though, she really had heard it from start to finish. She had to be sick of it, I would be.
“Look… I love Cash. That is obvious. I want only Cash. But I also know love isn't enough. I can’t pretend he is something he isn't… And until he is that man I can’t…”
“You are though. You are telling him no, you are telling me no, but then you see him and you go to him. Make up your damn mind. I’m not on his side by any means, but you can’t keep sending him mixed
signals.”
“He sends me the sweetest…”
“Yes, I know…he is trying… he has enrolled into the academy.”
“Which you didn't tell me.”
“He has pretty much ended his past life… and now he is great, actually…” Breigh said. I had never heard her sing praises for him. She had never liked him for very good reasons. He had single handedly destroyed her and Wyatt’s relationship early on. Not only did Cash convince his brother that she had cheated on him with her ex, but he also made a move on her. He was ruthless.
“Emma, look at me. This has got to stop. It is too much. I can’t see you go through it all again.”
“I know.”
“I love you,” Breigh said.
“What if he…”
“Nothing…love him for what he is, or move on. Sick of the yo-yo shit.”
I held my hand up to her while taking sip of my coffee, showing her I got the message. And she was every bit right like she always was.
“So now that my lecture is done, tell me… what happened when you followed him? Hanky-panky in the bathroom?”
“Hanky-panky? Good Lord… that is what your grammy calls it. You are not using her lingo now, are you?”
Breigh laughed and I laughed along.
“He ravished me in the supply closet and I enjoyed every minute of it… other than the fact I was on a date with another guy… completely PG-13.”
“Be happy, Emma… just be happy. Wyatt has given me that. I didn't really know what it was before that.”
“I’m trying.”
15
CASH
I knew going on a date was a bad idea, but Maddy wouldn't lay off. She had called me repeatedly and my plan was to tell her I wasn’t on the market anymore. She was one of the women I had met while in or around Hilltop, and while I should have called it off a long time ago, I hadn't put much thought into it. I had more important things to worry about.
The other women hadn't called and if and when they did, I would just tell them I was off the market. Never thought I would say that.
Maddy was persistent and had a way of always finding me, annoyingly so.
I had set up a meet up with her when she called me yet again, and I agreed to meet her at Blue’s, a dive bar in Hilltop. There were three bars in Hilltop and this was a nicer one in comparison to the others. That was not saying much though. Blue’s was named after a drink that apparently would knock you on your ass. I had never sampled.
I sat at the bar, sipping on a Jack and Coke, wishing she would hurry and get here so I could get this over with. I pulled my phone out to look at the screensaver from Olivia’s party. It was all of us Wyatt, Breigh, Emma, Olivia, and myself, but I had edited and zeroed in on Emma and myself. Her chocolate eyes always seem to draw me in as they had since the night I met her. Okay, and her body, but her brown eyes definitely spoke to me. She was who I wished I was meeting, doing anything with rather than meeting Maddy.
Immediately upon her arrival and her hands reaching my chest from behind, I knew this was going to be unsettling. She had never taken no for an answer, quite ironic now that I think of it. She was the equivalent of a female me. I shuddered at the very thought.
“Hey, baby, I’ve missed you.” She moved to my side, trying to place her lips on
mine instantaneously. Her perfume filled my senses, a stronger more powerful mix of flowers that almost was overbearing.
I pulled back and she became annoyed quickly. The drink she normally ordered was already sitting beside mine waiting for her, a vodka soda.
“You finally agreed to meet me and now you are pulling away from me?” She said with confidence, determined to address the issue at hand.
“Let’s get a table and talk.”
“Why is that necessary? I say let’s get a drink and go back to my place.”
“That’s not going to happen,” I said, seeing the confusion in her eyes.
I stood up and took her hand, taking her to a circular bar height table sitting next to the window. There were several spread along the establishment. Blue’s was unusually quiet tonight, which I was thankful for. The last thing I needed to do was repeat myself when telling her it was over. Whatever we had was over. O-V-E-R.
“Is something going on? You are acting so out of character, Cash. You have been dodging me for weeks!”
I held up my finger to get the waitress’s attention for another drink then pointed at the glass.
With a nod from her in understanding, I began to talk.
“I’ve had some developments since we last met, hence why I haven't called you back.”
“And they are?”
“Life-changing things, actually.” I paused but continued. I wasn't someone who normally cared about a person’s emotions. But I felt bad for her. “Anyway, I don't know if you watch the news but our investment firm has been shut down by the federal government. In fact, I no longer have a job there, and my father is in jail.”
“That is horrible. Did you lose everything?” she asked, knowing how I cherished my possessions.
“We are still waiting everything out. I had to prove what is mine is mine, and luckily a lot of it was. Doesn't really matter anyway since I got rid of it all.” I paused and she looked at me completely confused.
“My father at this point is saying no one was involved but himself, which is surprising considering he really only cares about himself more than anyone else.”
She laughed as the waitress handed me my drink and asked if she needed anything else.
“So father like son,” she said with a wicked grin.
My gut reaction was to get mad… but she was right. The reality was she was the same way. Cutthroat and willing to do what she had to make it, not caring who it effected.
I took a sip of my drink and swallowed, letting it burn my throat.
“I… yes, you are right. But if you remember that was one of the things we had in common, you, being the same way.”
“And I make no apologies for it, Cash. Still I don't know why that has anything to do with what we… do…” She said the last bit of the sentence slow to drag it out.
“In the time that everything has happened, it has brought a lot of things to light… mainly how I want to spend my life, and make changes. I guess you could say I’ve seen the light.” I cleared my throat, “That being said, I can’t continue to see you.”
“Is that so?” She paused. “Well, Cash, you know we were just a fun time. I never had any intentions of this becoming a relationship, rather more a good time, which you have always been. The old Cash that is. This new one is a bore.”
“That’s my point… I don't want just a good time anymore with just anyone.”
“Is there a someone?” Her blue eyes narrowed and I could have sworn they turned black.
“There has been for a long time… long enough that I should have seen it far before this happened for me to realize it.”
“By all means, I wish you all the luck in the world. But let me say this before walking away… You can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig. You can pretend to have changed but I don't see it happening.” She moved close to my face and I stayed as still as a statue. “People like you and me, selfish people, don't change. Your company went under, so what? We look out for number one, and that was one of the things that made us work.”
I shook my head in doubt. Not anymore.
“That’s where you’re wrong. I am changing, have actually in a lot of ways already. Losing my job, the company going under, is the best thing that ever happened to me.”
She stood up with confidence in her step, her head held high, like she was going to make sure I heard what she was going to say. In the past I would have been looking at her chest, or how good she looked under me, but this time… this time was different.
“Well, if you are ever looking for a good time, call me. My number will be the same, because unlike you, I love the chase, and I love to look after myself.”
“I won’t ever be calling you again.”
She winked. “We’ll see, won’t we?”
She made the statement reaching out to touch my face, then leaning in for a quick kiss before turning around and walking out.
I took a deep breath… glad it was over.
I should have done that a long time ago.
Whew, I felt a hell of a lot better releasing that disaster waiting to happen.
EMMA
I had been waiting outside of Blue’s for ten minutes, losing my patience. My friend and work colleague, Jessica, still hadn't showed up. I kept checking my phone for my emails and my texts, wondering what held her up.
She had begged me to go out with her, and told me about this place. I had rejected her and rain checked so many times that this time I felt like I was committed. I hadn't planned on turning into that woman who would start dissing her friends so she could stay home and relax, but I had.
I still had the dress on I had worn to work, a black dress that was slim fitting until it ruffled around the bust line and the bottom. It was one of my favorites. Matched with my blue heels, it popped. The thought of ditching the heels for my UGG house shoes sounded heavenly about now. When had I become the woman who would rather be at home with a glass of wine instead of out at a bar?
I stood on the side of the building under the light at the entrance, waiting before deciding to go in. I would order one drink and when I was finished with that, if she wasn’t there I was leaving. Then I could say I legit when in.
See, I wasn't as old as I was thinking. Great thinking proving myself wrong, right?
As I walked over to the bar, I scanned the room predicting my path to my destination. The lights were dim, trying to set a mood I was resistant too.
Then I saw him.
With another woman.
Cash was kissing another woman as she held his face. Her touch clearly sent the message that this was not the first time. It was intimate and she was sure of herself. Her body language said all I needed to know and the look of his eyes on her. They had something…
I watched him as he kept his eyes on her walking away. He finally looked down, and pulled out his phone.
I turned to the bar, realizing I was there, standing in front of a stool that had been vacated for me. My feet were frozen to the floor by the imaginary super glue.
The lump in my throat was suffocating me and I felt like I couldn't get any oxygen.
I sat down for a few minutes, trying to compute what I had witnessed. That dirty-ass dog. I bought every word he had been saying…the sweet text, our nights together.
How many times was this that he had disappointed me at this point?
I could hear Breigh's words in my head, she warned me, she was right, and I let it happen. It was just as much my fault as it was his. And I couldn't argue with her.
She was right. I didn't like to tell anyone they were right. Ever.
When the bartender got to me, I ordered a shot of tequila with a lime, and tried to calm myself. I was getting angry with Jessica not being here, Cash for the piece of shit he was, and then myself.
My phone dinged and I checked immediately, hoping she was going to cancel. I could take this shot and leave, crawl into my bed, and hide for the rest of the night.
Cash: I miss you.
I hope you got my text the other day.
If I weren't in a bar packed with people, my phone would have been airborne across the room, hitting the wall. I would get satisfaction as it shattered. Or possibly throwing it at his head. That would have felt terrific.
I was done. I sent a quick text to Jessica, telling her I was leaving. I took the shot that was just delivered, sucked on the lime, and stood up.
Screw this day.
After the shot of tequila, I felt a newfound bravery flowing through my veins.
I marched over to Cash and stood right in front of him.
He immediately smiled, “Emma! I just texted you.”
I didn’t respond. I looked into his joy-filled eyes, wishing I could inflict the pain he had just forced on me.
He had a glass of water sitting in front of him and I grabbed without hesitation.
Cash observed my every moment, trying to predict what I was about to do.
I poured the water over his head then threw the glass on the table. It shattered and suddenly we had an audience.
He stood up in rage. “Emma! What in the hell was that for?”
Instead of answering a question he should already know the answer to, I made one last statement before walking out.
“You bastard. You fooled me again!”
He reached for me and I pulled back.
“Don’t you ever touch me!”
The look in his green eyes said it all. He knew I was serious, that this was a no-go, and that he hadmessed up.
I turned to stomp out and heard him saying my name. I ignored him, feeling the immense squeezing on my heart. I was about to suffocate from the pain in my throat.
I was mad… furious…at my weak heart.
16
EMMA
The queasiness hit me in the middle of a conference meeting with my president and other executives. I was sitting beside the president, listening to the proposals Ron and Elizabeth were running through when the nausea hit me like a Mack truck.
Our Season (Lifetime Love Series) Page 9