To Mend a Broken Heart

by K. A. Hobbs

  “It doesn't need to, no one is comparing. You chose it, I will love it.”

  I lean over and pick up the box that houses Daniel's present. I hand it to him and wait, and while I wait I try to work out exactly why this incredible man has done this. Why he has spent so much money on me? A person he has only known for six months. I know in the six months we've been in each other lives he has come to mean more to me than anyone, besides Ginny, Ryan and Aidan, but they are my family. I guess Daniel is my family now too.

  “Oh, Katie.” Daniels choked voice brings me back to the present. I look up and into two blue eyes that are swimming with tears, “It’s perfect.”

  I struggled to think of a present that would be fitting for Daniel this year. I didn’t want to make it any sadder than I knew it would be, but I didn’t want to ignore the significance of today, and this year especially. I knew it would be perfect. I’d named a star after Poppy and his present explained that.

  “She is with you always, even in the darkest times, especially then, she will shine brightly, she will guide you and she will always help you find your way.”

  Daniel crawls over and wraps me in his arms, pulling me into his lap. Burying his face in the crook of my neck, he lets all the emotion he feels come flooding out. Today was always going to be difficult. It was always going to be emotional and traumatic, but I hope being here with him makes it a little easier. As difficult as this day is for me, I can’t even imagine how awful it is for Daniel, the fact he has even got up today amazes me.

  “It is the best present I’ve ever received. The only one that could top it was the day Poppy was born. Thank you, Katie. Thank you so much.”

  Present giving isn’t over, I reach over for another gift I have for Daniel. I found this quote weeks ago and asked Ginny to help me get it stylised. It’s just writing with a pile of books underneath, a pile of books containing all of Daniel’s favourites. The quote reads; a reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one. When Daniel unwraps it, he smiles from ear to ear then gets up and goes into his reading room to hang it up. When he comes back, we unwrap the gifts Ginny gave to me yesterday.

  “I gave them your presents yesterday, right along with mine.” I tell Daniel as I watch him unwrap his present from them.

  “Thank you, they really didn’t need to buy me anything. I just wanted to say thank you.” he tells me, lifting the photo frame out of the box.

  The frame contains a series of photos. The photos Ginny took the first time they met Daniel are in there, as are others from the summer. Every photo brings back happy memories for both of us. Daniel gives the frame pride of place at the bottom of the fireplace, smiling at me as he places it there. When I think all the presents are finished, Daniel surprises me with one last one. The most beautiful photo of me I’ve ever seen. It’s one from our trip to the beach. I’m looking into the camera and laughing, the light is a golden glow behind me and I look happy and carefree.

  “Thank you, so much. It’s beautiful.”

  “Of course it is, it’s a photograph of you.” he smiles.

  Christmas day ends with Daniel and I watching Harry Potter on the TV. I’m curled up on the sofa, with my feet in Daniel’s lap watching Harry take his place on the stool as the sorting hat is placed on his head. The hat yells Gryffindor and everyone cheers. I don’t remember falling asleep, I don’t remember coming up to bed, but I wake up surrounded by darkness and a sleeping Daniel next to me. I roll back over and curl into his back, the comfort and peace I need washing over me when he sighs sweetly in his sleep and covers my hand with his. I drift off to sleep safe and warm with a smile on my face.

  * * *

  The Christmas week passes quickly. Daniel has moments of being utterly consumed by grief, in those moments, I hold him and try to soothe him with my words. I’m not sure if it helps. Tonight is New Years Eve and Daniel and I are going to a party that Ginny and Ryan are having. I am looking forward to it and I am pretty sure Daniel is too. I’m in the spare room getting dressed while Daniel gets ready in his room. Ginny said it’s a smart do, dresses for the ladies and suits for the men. I’ve been shopping especially to get a new dress, I haven’t dressed up in months and I want to make an effort.

  I’ve fallen in love with a black dress; it’s halter neck and the top and back is lace, I love lace. I’ve decided to team it with my simple black pumps. Simple? They are Louboutin’s and were a gift from Richard. They go with every outfit and I adore them. I’ve pinned my curls up loosely, with hair framing my face and decided on heavy eyes and natural lips. Simple diamond stud earrings finish off the outfit and I’m pleased with how I look seeing as I’m out of practise. I’m just slipping on my stockings when there’s a knock on the door.

  “Katie? Can I come in?”

  “Can you just give me five minutes?” I huff, trying to attach my suspender to the lace top..

  “I’ll be downstairs.”

  I finally manage to attach it and look at myself in the mirror. The strapless basque is giving me a shape and it looks pretty sexy, not that anyone is going to see it, but I know it’s there. I slip into my dress and heels and spritz myself with some perfume. I throw my lipgloss and phone into my bag and head downstairs. Daniel has his back to me so I can enjoy looking at him without him knowing. He’s wearing a black jacket and trousers and going by the white at his neck, a white shirt finishes the look. His broad shoulders look incredible and I know when he turns around, he’ll look perfect. As my heels hit the tiles in the kitchen, he turns his head and his eyes go wide. I guess he likes my outfit too. I’m right, he is wearing a white shirt and a thin black tie, the look is perfect for his tall, lean frame.

  “You look, sensational, Katie.” he smiles at me.

  “You look pretty dashing yourself, Mr Lambert.” I grin.

  “Are you ready?”

  “I am. Let’s go celebrate a new year.”

  Daniel drives us to Ginny and Ryan’s and parks his car over the road. We both walk over to their house, Ginny throws the door open and squeals in delight at our arrival. She wraps her arms around me so tight I squeak.

  “Ease up!” I cough, “I can’t breathe!”

  “Sorry, I just missed you this past week!” she smiles.

  “That would be my fault.” Daniel says from behind me. Ginny steps up to Daniel and wraps him in a hug too.

  “How is the Blonde Giant?” she teases him.

  “I’m good, how are you?” he smiles.

  “Good, let’s get inside shall we? Ryan is just taking Aidan to his parents.”

  “Oh no, I don’t get a hug!”

  “Not tonight. You’ll get plenty tomorrow though if you come round for lunch?”

  We walk through to the kitchen and I smile, Ginny has a gorgeous silver and purple colour scheme this Christmas. The house is covered in twinkly lights and there are balloons and streamers everywhere. It looks perfect and I’m not at all surprised. Ginny knows how to throw a party.

  “Wow, it looks amazing, Ginny.” I tell her.

  “I know,” she grins, “It took me ages!”

  “Where can I put this?” Daniel holds up the bottle of champagne he brought with him.

  “Oh,” Ginny grins, “The good stuff! I’ll put it in the fridge for later.”

  Ryan appears then saying hello and the boys go into the lounge, Ginny and I stand and arrange little mini quiches on trays and then place them on the table. Everything looks delicious and my mouth waters.

  “You look so happy, Kate.” Ginny whispers.

  “I feel happy right now.” I whisper back.

  “How was your week together?”

  “Christmas day was tricky, it was sad for both of us but we worked through it. We’ve had a few wobbles this week, but overall, it’s been good.”

  “You’re amazing and I love you.” she says simply.

  “And I love you.”

  “Enough with the flirting you two, come and help me choose the mus
ic!” Ryan calls from behind us, “Unless you’re going to let me join in?”

  “No chance!” Ginny tells him, slapping his bottom.

  “Always worth a try.”

  Ginny and I compile a playlist of songs for the evening and press play. The first song to come on is one of Ginny’s favourites and she pulls me to the big cleared out lounge to dance with her. I forgot how much I enjoy dancing and being carefree. It feels good to be smiling. When the doorbell rings, Ginny goes to answer it while I go in search of a drink. I find Daniel helping Ryan arrange drinks in the kitchen which is doubling up as bar tonight. He’s smiling and chatting, he looks relaxed and happy. I help myself to a glass of red wine and head back to the lounge where the guests are now standing around chatting. I say hello to everyone, knowing almost everyone and get chatting to a couple I remember from last year. An hour and three glasses of wine later, Ginny and I are back dancing with the other ladies while the guys stand around chatting. I look up and catch Daniel’s eyes on me. I bring my hand up and crook my finger at him. He puts his glass down and comes over to me.

  “You look a little lost over there.” I smile, putting one hand behind his neck and continuing to move to the music.

  “Do I?” he doesn’t move.

  “Yes. Can’t you dance?” I ask, cocking my head to the side.

  “Do you want me to dance?”

  “Well… Yes.”

  He brings both his hands to my waist and moves us both to the song playing, James Brown. I am pleased to say, Daniel can dance. Memories flood my mind, Richard was an awful dancer and it was something I teased him about all the time. I shake my head and push those memories away.

  “You can dance.”

  “Apparently so, yes.” he smiles down at me.

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’m okay. Better than okay actually, I’m having a really good time. Are you?”

  “Yes. I’m having a good time too.”

  We dance to another couple of songs, Ginny and Ryan dancing too. When The Real Thing comes on, Daniel pulls me into his arms. I am so relaxed and comfortable with him, I let him and I don’t even question it. He rests his head against mine as we dance and I can feel his heart beating against my chest. I look up and meet Ginny’s eyes, there is understanding there and something else too. I can’t work out what it is, but she smiles at me and nods encouragingly. I close my eyes and just block everything else out for a minute, needing to gather my thoughts. Everyone here knew Richard, they all know what happened. Am I being judged for dancing in the arms of another man so soon? For being happy? Even if Daniel and I are just friends?` It’s only then that the words of the song sink into my intoxicated head.

  “Katie?”

  “Daniel?”

  “Are you okay? You’ve gone very tense?” his mouth is right by my ear and the feel of his hot breath on my neck makes me shiver.

  “Yes,” I mumble, “I’m fine.”

  “You don’t sound fine, did I.. Did I do something?”

  “No, Daniel, you didn’t do anything wrong,” I pull back and look him in the eyes, “You never do.”

  He smiles and moves us to the music again. When another song begins, we dance to that too. I look around us, couples everywhere are dancing. No one is paying us one bit of attention. No one is judging me, it’s all in my head. I’m overthinking everything again. When Bruno Mars comes on Ginny comes to steal me away from Daniel, we dance together and I let the music relax me again. When the countdown to midnight starts, Daniel and I stand close together holding hands. When Ryan announces it’s midnight, I don’t think about it, I reach up on my tiptoes and kiss Daniel, I hold his face in my hands and I kiss him. Pulling back only to whisper eleven little words to him.

  “Happy new year, Daniel. This is going to be your year.”

  “Our year. Happy new year, Katie.” he whispers against my lips.

  A song comes on and I wrap my arms around Daniel and we sway to the music just like every other couple in the room and it doesn’t matter that Daniel and I aren’t a couple. All that matters is that we are two broken souls on the road to being healed, and right here and now, all I need is Daniel, his warm body pressed against mine, his beating heart and warm hands on my hips. Another song comes on and we stay holding each other, I close my eyes and rest my head on Daniel’s chest. As we move to the music, I talk to Richard in my head.

  You might not be here, and I might be dancing with Daniel, but I still miss you every day. I still love you and I’ll never forget you. But Daniel is helping put me back together. He is such a wonderful man, you would like him. I wouldn’t be standing here today if I didn’t have him. I hope wherever you are darling, you’re having a happy time. I miss you.

  The songs ends, and with it, so does the party. Everyone is tired and ready for the night to end. Daniel has been nursing the same glass of wine all night so he’ll be able to drive us home. We say goodbye to Ginny and Ryan and accept their invite to lunch later that day. The drive back to Daniel’s is quiet, I hold his hand the whole way back needing to feel his warmth. When we arrive back, I slip my shoes off and climb the stairs, going to remove my makeup and get ready for bed. When I’m changed into my pyjamas, I head to his bedroom to say goodnight only to find he isn’t there. I find him downstairs with a glass of amber liquid in his hands, sitting at the kitchen counter, his head bowed.

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’m not sure.” he raises his head and takes a sip of his drink.

  “Was the party too much?”

  “I think you were too much. Being so close to you…” he sighs and takes another long drink.

  “I…” I don’t actually know what to say.

  I just stand there, wringing my hands in front of me, looking around the kitchen, not sure what I’m expecting to find. He turns his head and looks at me, there is a haunted look in his eyes and I feel a pang of regret.

  “I’m sorry,” I whisper, “I’ll phone a taxi.”

  “Don’t.” His hand reaches out and holds mine. He looks up into my eyes and I see a thousand emotions and feelings reflected back to me.

  “I don’t want to make this difficult for you, Daniel.”

  “I make it difficult for myself, Katie,” he sighs, “I’m sorry.”

  “Do you want me to leave?” I whisper.

  “No. I want you to stay.”

  “Okay.”

  I just stand there, my hand in Daniel’s, not knowing what I should do. I squeeze his hand then step back. His eyes snap to mine and I feel my knees go weak. There is such a look of desire and need in them it startles me.

  “I’m going to go to bed. Thank you for a lovely night.” I all but whisper.

  “Thank you too, Katie.”

  “Goodnight then.” I whisper.

  Daniel stands and pulls on my hand, bringing me closer to him. When I’m mere inches from him, he reaches for my face, stroking his fingers across my cheek lightly. I feel a shadow move over my face, I know what he’s about to do, but I don’t stop him. When I feel his lips on mine again, it takes all my willpower not to hold him to me, to lose myself to the kiss, to keep my mouth closed and not slip my tongue into his mouth. Daniel presses his lips harder to mine for a second before he pulls back.

  “Happy new year, Katie.” he breathes over my face.

  “Happy new year, Daniel.” I whisper before I turn around and disappear upstairs.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Things are changing between us. We are still friends, but there is definitely a feeling of something more there too and I’m not sure how I feel about it. I’m not sure I’m ready to be anything more than friends. After Christmas and New Year spent entirely together, there has been a shift. I welcome the company and the closeness and being with Daniel is easy, it was as easy as breathing. The feelings I have to try and work out however are not easy. I’m beginning to feel things for him I never thought I would feel for another man again and they scare me. A lot. When Daniel invited me over for
dinner tonight, I didn’t think anything of it, we often have dinner together during the week, in fact, more often than not we have dinner together. I park on his drive, fetch my overnight bag from the boot and knock on his door. He opens it looking relaxed and warm in a big grey jumper.

  “Okay?” he smiles, holding the door open.

  “Brilliant, how are you?” I smile, slipping inside and removing my jacket.

  “I’m really good too. Dinner is almost ready.”

  We make our way to the kitchen the smell of pasta and creamy sauce filling the air. The table is already laid and Daniel has some soft music playing, a soft female and males voice. Daniel dishes up dinner and we sit together at the dining table.