To Mend a Broken Heart

by K. A. Hobbs

  Daniel steps a little closer and pins me to the wall gently, dropping his head, he presses a soft kiss on my lips, a kiss I return wholeheartedly. I’d missed him today. The lift arrives at our floor and we step out, walking the short distance to our room. Once inside, I place my purchases on the bed and let out a surprised gasp when Daniel, spins me around and pulls me to him.

  “I’ve missed you.” he murmurs against my lips seconds before he kisses me.

  This kiss isn’t soft or gentle, this kiss is demanding and deep, this kiss is claiming and makes my legs feel like they are going to give way from under me. Luckily for me, Daniel’s strong arms are wrapped around me.

  “I see that.” I grin against his lips.

  “Do you want to shower with me?” he asks, pulling back to look at me.

  “I’d love to.”

  Daniel leads us both into the bathroom, he starts the shower and begins to undress us both. His hands lingering on the swell of my breasts, the curve on my bottom, the little indents on my lower back. His eyes roaming hungrily over my body making my nipples pebble. When we both step into the hot water, I groan and close my eyes. Daniel presses his chest to my back and reaches for the shampoo. Massaging it into my scalp as his deep voice fills the bathroom.

  “Tell me about your day.”

  “I went shopping. Other than coffee and pancakes, that was all I managed. The time just seemed to vanish!” he chuckles against my shoulder before placing a kiss there.

  “And you bought a pair of shoes?”

  “I bought two pairs of shoes… and a dress.”

  “Will you wear it tonight?” he asks, turning me to face him.

  “Yes, I plan to,” I lean up and kiss his tattoo, tasting his skin and the water flowing freely down his body, “Tell me about your day. Was the shoot good?”

  “It was. They would like me to take some more the day after tomorrow.” he smiles.

  “You know I’m so proud of you.” I smile. reaching up with shampoo in my hands to wash his hair too.

  “I do now, yes.” he smiles sweetly at me.

  “Are you going to tell me where we’re going tonight?”

  “No. It’s a surprise. Are you going to show me the shoes and dress?”

  “No. It’s a surprise.” I tease him, pulling his head towards me to rinse the bubbles out of his hair.

  We finish our shower and wrap ourselves in the fluffy white robes hanging on the back of the bathroom door. As Daniel said we would this morning, we climb into bed, both of us yawning, still suffering a little with jet-lag and snuggle. We fall asleep wrapped in each other and wake up in much the same way. I know Daniel is awake when I open my eyes, his hands are running up and down my bare thigh, my robe having either fallen open or having been opened by Daniel.

  “Did you sleep well?” I whisper into the darkened room.

  “I always do with you here.” he whispers back, his hand continuing to explore.

  “Are you after something, Mr Lambert?”

  “Would it be unreasonable to say, yes?”

  “No,” I turn in his arms and look at him, “What would you like?”

  “You. Always, always you.” his eyes shine with the truth of his words.

  “You always, always have me.” I tell him.

  “Then… I’d like to make love to you, Katie.” his gaze drops to my mouth and I know he is picturing what I am picturing.

  “Then, make love to me.” I reach for him, pulling him on top of me as I fall back onto our cloud of pillows.

  * * *

  I look good and I feel even better. The dress, the heels, my hair pulled back loosely and the smokey eyes are perfect. I am in the bathroom putting the finishing touches to my make up before Daniel and I go out to dinner. He hasn’t seen the dress or the heels… or the lingerie I’m wearing under my dress for him. Taking a deep breath, I open the door and step out. Daniel is standing looking out of the huge windows, dressed for dinner in my favourite navy suit. His jacket is laying on the bed. From the back, my eyes travel along his broad shoulders, down his back encased in a crisp white shirt and navy waistcoat, then further down to his bottom, Daniel has a spectacular bottom. His legs are long and muscular, his feet incased in a pair of slightly pointed shoes that make his big feet look even larger.

  “What do you think?” I ask, alerting him to my presence.

  He turns slowly, his eyes going wide as he takes me in. His grin is so wide it takes over his whole face as he steps towards me, holding out his hand. I take it and he swirls his finger in the air indicating I should turn for him. I do as he asks, grinning.

  “Wow.” he breathes when I turn to face him again.

  “Good?”

  “I don’t think there is a word, Katie. You look sensational, breathtaking.” his eyes meet mine and I can see the truth in his words shining there. I see love too.

  “You look incredible,” I lean forward and run my hands down his chest, “A waistcoat? I definitely needed a new dress.”

  “Too much?” he raises an eyebrow at me and looks unsure.

  “No!” I shake my head, “A waistcoat is never too much. Especially,” I lean closer and rest my mouth at his ear, “When you look as incredible as you do in it.”

  “Shall we go to dinner, beautiful?” he asks, reaching for his jacket.

  “I’m taking my coat, I’m going to freeze out there!” I look at the dark night and know it’s cold.

  “We’re getting a taxi there and back, they’ll drop us right outside. You won’t have chance to get cold. And if you do?” he steps towards me and pulls me to him, “I’ll be sure to warm you up when we get back.”

  “Always the gentleman.” I smile, slipping my scarf around my neck and my coat on.

  “I’m not sure I’ll be entirely gentlemanly when we get back with you looking like that, Katie.” he shakes his head.

  “Mr Lambert,” I gasp, “Whatever do you mean.”

  * * *

  I’m spoiled all night. I’m treated to a candlelit dinner overlooking the New York skyline, there is champagne and the most incredible meal I’ve ever had. Daniel is relaxed, laughing and reaching over for my hand, placing soft kisses on my knuckles at every opportunity. After the dessert is cleared away, Daniel declines the offer of coffee and practically drags me out of the restaurant and into a taxi. We ride up to our floor in silence, our mouths joined together the whole way, Daniel’s hands on my waist. When we tumble into our room having consumed a bottle of champagne between us and several glasses of wine, we are all hands and mouths, our need for each other sizzling the air between us.

  “Would you like a coffee?” he pants, stepping back from me.

  “Now?” I breathe.

  “I think we could both do with calming down a little, I don’t want to rush this. I never want to rush a moment with you, Katie.” his hand comes up and he traces my swollen bottom lip with his thumb.

  “Okay, yes. Coffee.” I sigh, slipping off my coat.

  I watch as Daniel makes us a coffee, he removes his jacket but leaves everything else on. He is incredibly handsome tonight. So graceful. So manly. His profile one that I don’t think could ever be beaten. When the coffee is ready, he comes over and sits opposite me, resting his knee against mine. Both of us stare intently at each other, unable to look away. The air in the room seeming to crackle and sizzle with our mutual desire for each other. Daniel takes me by surprise when he stands and walks over to his coat pocket, he reaches inside and takes out his phone. Scrolling through till he finds what he wants, he presses play and a piano begins.

  “Dance with me, Katie.” he asks, holding out his hand to me.

  I stand, taking his hand in mine as he pulls me to his warm body. We move, slowly to the music, swaying back and forth in our own private little moment. The words washing over me so beautiful, clearly words Daniel feels right at this very moment. When the song finishes, we slowly, without having to say a word, begin to undress each other. Taking time to explore each oth
er’s bodies. I relish discovering just where to touch Daniel to make him groan, where to touch him that seems to shred his self control. In turn he enjoys discovering I love to be kissed on my hipbones, that I love having the soft skin behind my knee caressed. With more kisses and caresses, we learn that our love making can be intense and all consuming, that joining our bodies in this way is beyond anything either of us have ever experienced.

  “Can you feel that?” Daniel whispers as we move our bodies together.

  “Feel what?” I whisper, pressing my lips to his shoulder.

  “My heart, it’s racing, Katie.”

  “That’s….normal…when—”

  “It’s because of you,” he kisses me, “It’s all because of you.”

  “I love you, Daniel.”

  “I love you, Katie. More than I thought it was possible to love another person.”

  Sometime later, I lay on my tummy in bed watching Daniel sleeping. The moonlight is sneaking in through a little gap in the curtains and it’s casting Daniel in the most beautiful light. His dark blonde hair looks almost white, his strong jaw looks even more powerful in this lighting. He is peaceful right now, no bad dreams, nothing but peace. It’s a rare thing for him and I treasure knowing he has found that peace with me.

  I’m waiting. Waiting for the guilt I’m sure will hit me but so far, it hasn’t. Am I finally able to accept my relationship with Daniel is the right thing? The natural thing? Something I shouldn’t feel guilty about? I hope so. Life has been difficult for so very long, I’m scared of it being easy again. When you’re this happy, surely something is going to come and take it away. Isn’t that what happened to both of us? I guess I have to trust that life is happy right now, that after all our heartache, we are getting what we deserve. I hope we are. Daniel, more than anyone in the whole world, deserves to be happy, deserves love and peace and I’m all of those things for him and he is all of those things for me too.

  * * *

  The next three days we spend as much time together as we can. When Daniel is needed for another shoot, I busy myself in bookshops, sometimes losing entire mornings just looking through all the many paperbacks the shop has to offer, smiling at how different American paperbacks are to the ones we have in England. We fly back home tomorrow. The trip, although a little short, has been one of the most incredible I’ve ever had. If books make you a geek, then Daniel and I are definitely geeks. After spending hours in bookshops yesterday, we have ended up in the New York public library, because, where else would a book lover want to go? It is huge, packed full of books and it’s our idea of Heaven.

  “I’m pretty sure all the people here are residents and looking for a book they can actually take out.” I whisper to him as he picks up a huge photography book.

  “Who cares? Are you enjoying yourself?”

  “Of course I am.” I grin stupidly.

  “Then it doesn’t matter.”

  “I suppose it doesn’t.”

  “Books make you sexy, Katie.”

  “And books definitely make you sexy, Daniel.”

  He steps forward and presses me up against the shelves of books, I can feel his need for me through his coat and I gasp a little when I feel him press his lips to mine in a kiss that leaves me no doubt he wants to make love to me, right here in the public library, surrounded by New Yorkers.

  “Are you being turned on by books, Daniel?” I tease him.

  “No. I’m being turned on by you.” he kisses me once more before stepping back and shaking his head at me.

  “Well that’s okay then.”

  We spend another hour surrounded by books, I find a copy of Cinderella and sit reading while Daniel searches book after book on photography. By the time we leave it’s late yet the city is still buzzing. We walk hand in hand to our hotel soaking up the sounds and the atmosphere. When we get back, we both get changed then head down to the hotel bar for drinks. I don’t know what causes us to start, but we sit there laughing at a round of quick fire questions.

  “Sweet or savoury?” I ask, popping a peanut into my mouth.

  “Sweet. You know I have the worst sweet tooth, Katie,” he laughs, “I eat more chocolate than you do.”

  “No, you just don’t see me eat half of it!”

  “Sneaky!” he smiles, leaning forward and placing a kiss on my lips.

  “You don’t know the half of it.”

  Daniel takes my hands, suddenly looking serious. His eyes shine, his cheeks are a little flushed after one too many drinks.

  “Thank you for coming with me, Katie. It’s been the most incredible few days.”

  “I think I should be the one who says thank you, Daniel. Thank you for giving me the chance to experience this, not only experience it, but experience it with you.”

  “What happens when we get back, Katie?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I don’t want this,” he gestures between us, “To change. I want to be with you, more than anything. I can’t not be with you.”

  “I want to be with you too, Daniel. Why,” I reach up and cup his face in my hand, “would anything change?”

  “I don’t know. I just can’t let it. The thought of living, alone, without you, it kills me, Katie.”

  “You’re not alone. You’re not without me. I promise you.” I tell him, leaning to kiss his fingers.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  “So I think, if we push this table back, we can make space for the photo booth here?” I suggest to the couple whose wedding is on Saturday.

  “I think it would work, Katie, this is why you’re the best!” Connie tells me.

  “I’m just sorry I won’t be here for it, I wish I could be.”

  Connie looks at me with sympathetic eyes. I explained to them early on in their planning I wouldn’t be working the weekend of their wedding. Their wedding just happens to fall on Richard’s one year anniversary. I booked the entire weekend and part of the weeks either side of it off, knowing I will be in no fit state to work.

  “It’s okay, we understand.” Connie takes my hand and gives it a little squeeze.

  Once we finish up the last minute plans, I head to my office. Laying my head in my hands I sob. I let every single tear I’ve been holding back for the last hour fall. Each one splashes onto the table making a pool of sadness that doesn’t seem significant enough for the amount of grief I feel right now. It has been three weeks since Daniel and I came back from New York. The first week, we were still on a high, reliving the moments we shared together, the things we wanted to do again. It was perfect. Then we entered March and the date I’ve been dreading seemed to be hanging over me, over us like a storm cloud.

  I’ve been pushing Daniel away. I know I have and he keeps pushing right back, letting me know it’s okay, that he understands and he isn’t going anywhere. There is only one problem with that, I’m not sure I want him around for this. I’m not sure I want him to witness what is surely going to be the most painful weekend since Richard died. How can I even ask him to be there for me? Now we are together, now that we’ve shared our hearts, bared our souls and our bodies to each other, how can I possibly ask him to be there for me while I mourn the loss of another man, regardless of the fact that man was my husband.

  I finish what I absolutely have to then I leave work. I drive home and let myself in. There is silence and there is nothingness and it only adds to the grief I feel. I walk through the house and into the lounge, picking up the photo album that houses our wedding photos. I take it into the kitchen and pour myself a large glass of wine before sitting and flicking through the pages. As I turn each page I can hear him, I can hear Richard’s voice, his laugh, I can almost feel his hand in mine as we said our vows to one another; I vow to love you always. Nothing will ever separate us. To you I’ll always belong. Today we are joined as one. Forever and always. We could never have known what life had in store for us. We could never have known life planned to rip us apart and separate us, to take him to the one plac
e I couldn’t follow.

  I don’t know how I get there, but I wake up in bed and it’s dark outside. I lay there for a few seconds trying to work out what has woken me up, then I realise it’s my phone buzzing on the bedside table. I reach for it blindly and swipe along the bottom, holding it to my ear.

  “Hello?”

  “Katie, are you okay?” Daniel’s worried voice comes down the line.

  “I’m fine, Daniel. I just fell asleep.”

  “Can I come over?” he asks, sounding just as unsure as he did last night when he phoned.