Don't Let Me Fall

by Briana Pacheco

  He caught my hand and stared into my eyes.

  “You wanted your mom dead?” he asked.

  I nodded slowly, never looking away. “I didn’t think it was fair she got you to herself. And you loved her so I couldn’t–”

  “I didn’t love her,” R cut in.

  “You didn’t?” I asked with hopeful eyes.

  “No,” he said sliding his hands onto my waist, fingers digging into me. “She was just a distraction. Until I got you.” His lips let mine and his hands started sliding up my shirt.

  “Wait,” I said pulling back. “I want to ask you something. Everything I thought I knew was wrong so if you didn’t love her…did you want her gone too?”

  “Yeah,” he said pulling me back to his lips.

  “Did you kill her?” I whispered, pulling back again.

  R stared at me with a questioning look.

  “Why are you asking questions?” he asked, looking around the house. I know he’s getting worried. He’s thinking something. Shit. Wheel him back in, Becka.

  “Because that would be such a turn on,” I said smiling again. “The whole story. You and my mom. You wanted me. You killed her. Now you have me.” I stepped back and pulled my shirt off, biting my lip so he’ll lose focus.

  R’s eyes drank me in slowly. He looks like he’s going to eat me. I want to punch him or kick him until he dies but I can’t.

  “So…?” I asked.

  His eyes met mine and he smiled.

  “I did,” he said pulling me into him. “I killed her.”

  “How?”

  He slipped his hands down to my ass and picked me up. I had no other choice than to wrap my legs around him. He started walking to the living room.

  “I cut the brakes,” he said dropping me onto the couch with him falling on top of me. “Police assumed it was just an old line.”

  I grabbed his shirt and rocked my hips against his, causing him to growl as he bit my neck.

  “You have no idea how hot that is,” I moaned. “What else have you done? You seem like you’ve done some things that I don’t know about.”

  R’s fingers went to my jeans and unbuttoned them. Don’t freak out. Don’t freak out!

  “It won’t freak you out?” he asked.

  I shook my head and said, “Turn on remember. Tell me how bad you are.” I ran my hands down his shoulders and pressed on his chest when he wouldn’t talk.

  “I was with this older woman once. Let’s just say it didn’t turn out fine. She killed her daughter and I had to help clean up the mess,” he said, smiling.

  Fucking asshole. I should kill him.

  “Her daughter? Why?”

  “She was jealous of the daughter’s friend. I guess some guy liked her and the mom didn’t like it. She thought she’d just kill the daughter and frame the friend for it. She sounds like a bitch. I don’t know why I slept with her,” he panted.

  I know he’s talking about me but it’s still weird. He’s obsessed with me and Melissa didn’t like it. Alice died because of me. Her mom wanted me to be framed for the murder of her daughter because she was jealous? Are you serious?! That’s so fucking wrong that Melissa deserves to rot in hell too.

  “You go for older women,” I said catching his eye. “So why are you with me right now?”

  “Because I’ve wanted you since that first day we met in Seattle.”

  His lips were back on mine as he got his jeans unbuttoned.

  “And you know how to fuck better than your mom.”

  I brought my hands up to his chest as I pushed him back.

  “Wait,” I said pushing him away harder. Do it. Get away from him. “Are you fucking serious right now? Don’t tell me that shit and expect to fuck me. What is wrong with you? I don’t need to picture that.”

  Fucking gross.

  “Come on, Becka. You’re a slut. Don’t over think this.”

  Excuse me?! I know I am but he didn’t have to say it!

  “Get the fuck off me,” I snapped.

  He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

  “Can you just shut up and get naked? I’m not in the mood to talk.”

  I cocked an eyebrow at him.

  “I don’t know who you think you’re talking to,” I growled as I stood up. “But don’t ever fucking tell me what to do.” He stared at me like I was a new creature in a museum. “Fucking asshole.” I grabbed him and threw my arm back. The moment my fist made contact with his jaw, I felt so good. So I did it again and again. “My sister was in that car! You could have killed her!”

  “I should have!” R spat blocking a hit and throwing his elbow out. It hit my jaw but I didn’t stop attacking him.

  Hands wrapped around my waist and pulled me off R. He’s on the floor groaning while blood seeps out of his nose, his mouth, and his eyebrow. I did that to him. And it felt fucking good.

  “Relax,” Logan said in my ear. “They got everything. Breathe. Rebeckah, breathe.”

  I turned in his arms and breathed him in.

  This felt so good that I feel like I’ll snap R’s neck if I look at him.

  The police were around us, picking up R and arrested him for the confession of what he did to Mom and Alice. Melissa ratted him out because she wanted a deal but I needed something on the death of Mom. My family loved her and they needed the truth. I knew R would have done something. He’s psychotic.

  When he was out of the house, I pulled away from Logan and grabbed the microchip out of my bra cup. In this little device is the confession of the man who had a part in killing my best friend and my mom. All because of me. He was obsessed.

  “Let’s go home,” Logan said kissing my forehead. “You’ve done everything you can.”

  I grabbed his hand and found his eyes. “I love you,” I said. I tell him whenever I can because I don’t ever want to lose him.

  He smiled and wrapped his arms around me. “I love you, too,” he whispered softly. “I would kiss you but I’m pissed at the moment. You have that asshole’s spit on you.”

  “Next time don’t ask for details if you don’t like them,” I said shrugging, trying not to look like a complete bitch. I know he was worried but I had to do it. R wouldn’t have confessed any other way.

  “No guy wants to hear that his girlfriend is going to try and seduce a guy into confessing his deepest secrets,” Logan deadpanned.

  “It wouldn’t have worked any other way. You know he wanted to sleep with me.”

  Logan rolled his eyes but pulled me into him.

  We walked out of my mom’s house. I handed the microchip to an officer sitting in a van. He was listening the whole time with Logan beside him. It should be awkward but I can’t seem to feel it right now.

  I gave my statement then Logan helped me into his car and we headed to my dad’s place. I crashed on the couch with my family and friends around me.

  I did something useful today.

  I feel special and worth something.

  Alice’s death means something now and no one got away with it.

  She’s finally at rest.

  She’s free.

  I love you, Alice. Always.

  Epilogue

  Two years later…

  It’s Valentine’s Day so Jacky and Remy decided to use the day filled with love for something useful other than sex and chocolate. They got married. There’ll be sex and chocolate later though. I helped plan the honeymoon with Remy so Jacky can be surprised.

  I’m leaning on the kitchen island in my dad’s house staring at the wedding invitation and I can’t stop smiling. And crying. I can’t help it, I’m emotional. And it doesn’t help when Kelsey walks in here with Micha on her arm smiling at each other like they’ll never meet again. They look so happy and I love it.

  “Please tell me you didn’t finish the cake,” Matty sighed, walking up to me. “Dad got the last piece and he doesn’t want to share. His girlfriend wants it.”

  I held up my paper plate with a half eaten slice of ca
ke. “Depends,” I said. “Is it for you or Katrina?”

  Matty grabbed my plate with a smirk.

  I didn’t let it go.

  “It’s for me,” he whined.

  Mhm. That’s what I thought. When I made this cake for Jacky’s wedding, Matty complained the whole time saying it’ll taste like shit and it looks like shit so he’s not going to eat it. He had more than the other guests did. He just doesn’t know I have another cake hiding at Logan’s place waiting for me to devour it.

  “Here,” I said letting him have it. “I don’t want you to starve.”

  “You’re the best. Love you, Becky,” he said stabbing the fork into the soft chocolate cake. I almost attacked him when he put it into his mouth but I controlled myself. I will eat that cake later. “Logan wants you,” Matty said with a full mouth. “They’re outside.”

  “Who’s outside?” I asked.

  “Everyone,” he deadpanned.

  When Matty shoved the last piece of cake into his mouth, we walked outside. Aimee and Caleb are whispering to each other on the swinging chair, Darren and Alyssa are fighting over cake near them, and Victor, Jon and Adam are busy telling Finn that he needs to stop having sex and study because his grades are slipping in college.

  It’s pretty fun to watch actually.

  Finn rolls his eyes and tells them what they want to hear but I know he won’t do it. He’ll just grab Gaby and have his way with her in the laundry room when he walks into the house any minute now.

  Kevin, Juan, Max and Shaun are over too with their newest girlfriends. I honestly don’t know why they’re here. I don’t know why everyone is here actually. Kelsey just told me to come by after the wedding. Why everyone is sitting in my dad’s backyard is a mystery to me.

  “Can you walk any slower?” Matty asked behind me.

  I stopped and made him bump into me.

  “Don’t rush me, bitch,” I said.

  “Whatever, chubby whore,” Matty said raising an eyebrow as he smiled. My mouth dropped. I know he means that in the nicest way possible but it’s still weird because he knows I fucked a lot of guys before I dated Logan.

  “Fuck you! Logan said I was too skinny so he shoves food down my throat,” I snapped.

  “Yeah. He just wants you fattened up to get pregnant.” My jaw dropped even further. “Are you pregnant? Because you look like you gained some weight. In a good way. Becky?”

  I blinked.

  Logan wants me to get pregnant?

  Why does Matty know this and not me?!

  What the fuck!

  Tears pricked my eyes as I thought about it. Logan never talked to me about this. We’re happy the way we are. I don’t want kids. I mean…not right now.

  I’m getting choked up because I never thought about this. Shit. I don’t want to get pregnant because of my tattoos. I’ll look weird afterwards.

  “I don’t want kids,” I whisper sobbed.

  Why am I so damn emotional?!

  Matty’s smile dropped as he saw the change in me. “Shit…um…nevermind. Becky, I was joking,” he said, his eyes scanning the crowd because he’s nervous. “Want more cake?”

  “Ugh!” I pushed him out of the way and walked back toward the house. I’m not comfortable. I want out of these flats and I want to be in my bed…eating a bowl of ice cream. I just want to be alone…with food.

  “Becky!” Matty tried to grab my arm but I jogged my way back into the house, toward the freezer. I pulled out a carton of ice cream, grabbed a spoon and walked to the living room.

  I sat my ass down and turned on the TV.

  Now I’m comfortable.

  Wait…wasn’t I suppose to be outside?

  I don’t remember and I don’t care.

  “Hey,” Logan said walking into the living room, eyeing the ice cream. “Why’d you run away?” God, just looking at him makes my libido spike.

  “I was hungry,” I said licking the spoon with ice cream. “And Matty called me fat. I’m stress eating.”

  Logan slipped onto the couch and turned off the TV.

  “You’re not fat,” he said. “You need to gain more weight actually.”

  “Yeah,” I said rolling my eyes. “So I can be prepared when you knock me up.”

  His eyes widened as he went tense.

  “You don’t think about it?” he asked softly, his damn blues taking me in. “Us. Together. Starting a family.”

  I ate another spoon of ice cream because I can’t answer that. I never thought about it. I just wanted us to be…happy. We are. Why add more with little messy babies?

  “Are you ignoring me?”

  I didn’t answer him.

  “Aw, don’t ignore me,” Logan said rubbing his nose against my shoulder. “I might cry.” He’s making fun of me. I’ve been emotional for the past week. What an asshole. His lips traveled up my arm to my neck and it was getting harder and harder to ignore him. “I love you.”

  I took another spoon of ice cream and nudged him away.

  “Why’d you two leave?” Toby asked behind me. “Oh, did you…” Logan looked up and most likely told him now isn’t a good time. Toby walked up to us, I think he shook Logan’s hand and then he left us alone.

  “Can I tell you something?” Logan asked reaching for my hand. He unhooked it from the ice cream carton and pressed something into my hand. My eyes tried to see it but Logan turned my hand over. I glanced at him and his eyes were waiting for me.

  “What?” I asked.

  “Do you remember our first date?” he asked. I nodded. “You told me if I won Hunter, you’d give me whatever I wanted.” My eyes fell to his lips as he spoke and I started thinking about that day. I thought he wanted a sexual favor but he just wanted my middle name.

  “Are we going to have sex now?” I asked looking up into his eyes. “You cashing in a sexual favor?” I wouldn’t mind taking him into my old bedroom and doing things.

  He smiled and pecked my lips.

  “No.” Damn. “I was thinking about something.” His thumb caressed my hand and I was once again trying to see what he’s hiding. “I got you the bear. You told me your middle name.” I nodded. “Well…” He finally let go of my hand. I turned it over and stared at a Hershey’s kiss. “It’s Valentine’s Day,” Logan said as I unwrapped the chocolate. Only…it wasn’t a chocolate. It was almost shaped as one but I unwrapped it and a ring stared back at me. “Will you be my Valentine?” Logan murmured.

  My eyes found his.

  No…

  “Logan,” I stared at the ring in my hands and then back at him. My middle name is Valentine. He’s not talking about me being his valentine, he’s talking about me being his Valentine. “Baby, I was already yours,” I said dropping the carton of ice cream on the coffee table and throwing my arms around him.

  I change my mind. I’d want to press pause and live in this moment. Right now. Because it honestly can’t get any better than this. Logan just proposed to me. And he did it in a way that makes me feel special. He made me like my middle name. He just made me feel worth it. Wanted.

  “Yes, I’ll be your Valentine,” I said pulling back to hold his eyes. I couldn’t say anything else and the smile on my lips hurts so I crashed my lips against his and let my unspoken words flow between us.

  “I love you,” I breathed. “Always.”

  He slipped the ring onto my finger and glanced behind us.

  “This was supposed to happen outside,” Logan said, looking back at me. “So everyone is waiting.”

  “They knew?”

  “Why else would they be here? Jacky and Remy are on Skype.” He kissed me again and I melted. Now it all makes sense. “We shouldn’t keep them waiting.”

  “Wait…did you ask my dad if this was okay?” I asked glancing at the ring.

  Logan smirked and said, “No.”

  “Oh, this is going to be good,” I said breaking into a shit eating grin.

  Dad loves Logan. He just wants to keep pretending I’m a little girl.
And little girls don’t date. Or have sex. Or get married.

  Dad will most likely beat the shit out of Logan for this. But then he’ll see how happy I am and rethink everything.

  Logan helps me.

  In more ways than one.

  I love him.

  “Baby…” Logan whispered as he leaned into me, his lips brushing my ear softly.

  “Mm?” I asked closing my eyes, breathing him in.

  “We’re pregnant.”

  My eyes snapped open.

  No!

  This is not happening.

  We just got engaged.

  This is too fast!

  I tried to pull away but Logan wrapped his arms around me and told me how he guessed it for the last two weeks. I don’t even want to know how he could tell. And I got my period last week! It was light but I got it!

  Logan’s been shoving food down my throat when the doctor called him and told him to keep watch on me because I’m ‘malnourished.’ Why the doctor didn’t tell me this is a fucking mystery. Fucking douchebag. I’m the mother! I’m going to be a mother! How is this happening?!

  “We can do this, Rebeckah,” Logan said pulling away to look at me. His thumb running over my cheek, wiping away the tears is doing nothing to calm me.

  I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.

  I can’t care for a baby!

  I almost ended my life the first time hearing this news.

  “What if I can’t–”

  “No ‘what-if’s’. Just now. Live in the moment. I’m not letting you go. I won’t let you fall.”

  Dammit.

  The tears ran down my face as I shook my head.

  “You already did,” I whispered.

  His brows creased and the curiosity in his eyes made me smile.

  “I fell for you.” Duh.

  His hands fell to my hips as he dipped his head, his lips hovering over mine.

  “Now you need to fly.”

  The old me needs to fly. She needs to be free.

  I need to be happy. Complete. Loved.

  The old me has worries.

  The new me has family.

  My family.

  “Okay,” I breathed, slipping my fingers into his hair. “We can do this.” I fucking hope so. Logan’s face is killing me. He loves this. Hopefully so can I. I mean, I have a few months before I blow up like a balloon. I fucking hope and pray my tattoos don’t look weird!