Chasing Christmas

by Steven Hunt

  Like he should have done with Mandy. He should have pulled her into his arms and held her, telling her that everything would be all right. He should have shown his love by doing whatever it took to help her.

  And Jane. He shouldn’t have been such an absentee husband. He should have discussed his feelings with her over his parents’ death instead of shutting her out. He should have been the man she married by fighting to keep the house instead of surrendering to what life had dished out. He should have shown her how special she was—every day—instead of neglecting her and taking her for granted. He loved her beyond comprehension, and he should have shown her.

  Tears raced down his cheeks. The numbness slipped away, replaced with pangs of guilt. He turned onto his stomach, burying his face deeper into his pillow, allowing the cleansing water to rid his emotion and renew his soul. His shoulders jumped with each shuddering breath until total exhaustion finally freed him.

  “God, it’s been a long time since I’ve prayed…”

  30

  The sun had barely crested over the horizon when Love burst through the door. He tossed a sausage and egg breakfast sandwich on Teddy’s bed as he held out a cup of coffee.

  Teddy poked at the puffiness surrounding his eyes.

  “So, what did you learn last night?” Love leaned against the top bunk across from Teddy’s. “Any soul-searching?”

  How could he have known?

  He knew the same way he’d known about the botched suicide attempt, what Ezi and Yebo had taught, and everything that had happened during the past five days.

  “Matter of fact, yes. I had a breakthrough.” Teddy sipped his coffee.

  “Good. Then you’re on your way.” The tough sergeant’s eyes seemed to sparkle as opposed to the emotion-free, steely ones of yesterday.

  Teddy swallowed a bite of the sandwich before asking, “So, what’re your plans for teaching me about love?” Even though Love had indirectly led Teddy to last night’s revelation, his suspicions about the man’s motivation still ran high.

  “Nothing really. Love is not one of those subjects a person can teach. It cannot be learned. It can only be felt. You needed to find it for yourself. I only pointed you in the right direction.”

  “So what is love?”

  “Truth.”

  “What?” Teddy set the remainder of his food on the bed—his appetite gone—as he slid to the edge of the bunk.

  “I said Truth.”

  Teddy shook his head. “Yes, I know what you said. I didn’t understand your answer. Are you asking if I want the truth or are you saying that love is Truth?”

  Love propelled himself from the bed to stand between the rows of bunks. “Truth is love. The Truth is where you’ll find love.”

  Teddy ran his fingers through his hair. “Why are you the expert?”

  “Like I said, I’ve been where you are.”

  “That’s not what I meant. How do you know things like my having a breakthrough last night? And about unconditional love?”

  Love walked to the end of the bunk, leaning against the support post. He shrugged. “Would you believe I had a great teacher?”

  “No. I mean…I’m sure you did. But you seem to know more about what’s happened to me than my other teachers.”

  With his arms outstretched, he said, “What can I say? I’m good.”

  “But not very humble.” Teddy mumbled.

  “Seriously, it’s because I’m a good listener.”

  Teddy dropped his gaze. “And I’m not. You said so last night.”

  “Yes, that’s one of your problems. But you can overcome it.”

  “How?”

  Love propped his elbows on Teddy’s top bunk. “By not only hearing with your ears but also with your heart.”

  “Hear with my heart? How is that possible?”

  “With faith and hope, my friend. Didn’t you say to Ezi that your faith is hoping for comfort, protection, and peace while you are certain of the existence of Truth? You also learned that all of our needs—not our desires—are provided to us from the Truth. Since this is the way, how do you expect to listen to the Truth if you do not listen with your heart? Your heart is where love lives, not in your mind.”

  “But how do I prove I’ve changed? To Jane and Mandy and everyone else?”

  “What good are faith, hope, and love without deeds?”

  Teddy nodded. “So prove through deeds.”

  “Let me ask you a question to see if we can shine some light on your confusion.” Love said. “Have you given any thought to how or why your Christy showed up when and where she did?”

  Finally, the answers he’d been seeking for four—no, five—days. “Like every day! But I can’t ever get a straight answer from her or anyone else. They always say that when the time is right the answers will be revealed. What kind of an answer is that?”

  Love smiled, but his eyes remained serious and steady. “A good one actually. And a true one. But the reason you haven’t been able to get a straight answer is because the answer would have hindered your learning and only confused you.”

  Teddy jumped to the floor. “I can see you are one of them. I can’t seem to get a straight answer from you either.”

  Love ran a hand over his steel jaw as he turned to Teddy. “Tell me this: how do you think you would have behaved if you knew Christy was a genie?”

  “That’s ridiculous. Genies don’t exist.”

  “Just answer the question.”

  Teddy nodded as he massaged his temple. “A genie? OK, if she was a genie why did I have to suffer through the anxiety of having a deadline? Of having to hike days through the This-Leads-To-Nowhere Forest? Of having to paint Ezi’s house? And don’t forget about having to fetch a stolen locket at whatever cost from the largest killer I’ve ever met. OK, that last one’s not fair because I’ve never met a murderer before Jason. But you get my point. How would I have behaved? I would have asked her to snap her fingers, or twitch her nose, or do whatever she had to do to make my depression disappear and fix my life to the way it once was.”

  “You would have gone for the quick fix, then?”

  “Sure, who wouldn’t? Think of all the time I would have saved.”

  Love walked to the dirty window by the front door and peered out. After a moment he turned to face Teddy. “So in six months, or one year, or three years from now we would be back at this very spot teaching you about hope, faith, and love because you chose the easy way the first time. And because of that easy way, you would not have received the instruction of these life-changing lessons.”

  He walked to a double bunk, resting his elbows on the upper mattress. “And in those six, twelve, or thirty-six months where would your life have taken you? And Mandy’s? Would she still be attending those parties? Or maybe during that time she would’ve suffered an overdose? Hmm? And Jane, what about—”

  Teddy raised his palm toward Love to silence him. “Stop! Just stop! I get it. It would have been a major mistake.” He faced the sergeant. “I understand the need for secrecy. I would have missed this opportunity to not only change my life, but also the lives of the ones I love. Living would have been chaos.” He turned to the chair Love had sat in the night before and plopped down.

  Teddy lowered his gaze, imagining how the past six days would have gone if he’d known Christy was a genie. He didn’t like what he saw. “Christy is not really a genie, is she?”

  Love chuckled. “No, of course not. She’s an angel.”

  Teddy felt his eyes widen as his mouth gaped open. An angel? Christy, the child who had appeared out of nowhere on the train and seemed to always be in the right place at the right time? The little girl whose clothes never dirtied? His Christy? Teddy shook his head. “What did you say?”

  Love pushed off the bunk, turning to him. His face remained stoic as he said, “Come on, Teddy. Don’t tell me you didn’t have any suspicions. You even mentioned the color of her clothes.”

  “No.” He shook his head. “
Well, yes, I did. It just didn’t add up. I don’t know what I thought.” He stood. “That explains a lot.”

  “She’s not actually ten, you know.”

  “I know. She kept telling me. I just didn’t believe her. I’m ashamed to admit that I’d grown complacent in believing only what I saw. My mind doesn’t think out-of-the-box much.”

  “This is where your lesson of faith has its benefits. We believe the Truth is real even though we cannot see Him. But with this faith, hope of being led along the path of righteousness and of being loved unconditionally exists.”

  “So when Christy referred to Father she meant…” Teddy ran his fingers through his tangled hair. “Wow!” His legs felt weak, forcing him to sit again.

  A thin smile crossed Love’s lips. “Do your lessons make more sense now?”

  Teddy’s mind darted back to a smiling Ezi and his lesson of faith. The old man had grown dear to his heart, even though Teddy had tried to self-destruct by leaving. Ezi had been persistent, but not pushy. He’d shown Teddy that even though he couldn’t see something didn’t mean it wasn’t real.

  And Christy being an angel proved the Truth was real.

  Yebo taught him anything could be achieved through hope. When she told him to retrieve the locket from a murderer, he had his doubts—and fears. But through hope—and faith—he’d succeeded, even though Jason sacrificed himself for Teddy’s future.

  Faith and hope were strong entities. Teddy would never again think of them as just feelings or emotions. They were real and, with their powerful strength, they had shoved the cloak and fog away.

  Teddy’s mind drifted. He saw an excited Uncle Bud standing in the pulpit of his small church. Bud point toward Teddy as his strong voice declared, And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love. Teddy smiled.

  “Are you going to let me in on the joke?”

  “Huh?” Teddy shook the thought away.

  “I asked if your lessons made more sense and the next thing I saw was you smiling from ear to ear.”

  “Oh, that. It was nothing—just a fond memory.” Teddy rubbed the coin in his pocket. “Does that mean that Ezi, Yebo, and…” Teddy stood and looked Love in his eyes; eyes now filled with warmth and compassion. “…you are also angels?”

  Love’s smile widened. “Not likely. We’re just people who’ve been in the same situation as you and want to help. Like you one day will help another who’s suffering. That’s how this system works. The angel employs her previous students to assist with the future students. But all the accolades go to the Truth. Without the Truth, none of this would be possible.” Love leaned against a bunk bed, crossing his ankles.

  “Christy…Christopher…Christine…Christal.” Teddy counted them on his fingers, holding up a finger for each. “Four angels?”

  “No, only one. Remember what Christy told you about her image being the one your heart needs to see? Each of us being different requires different images. Angels are everywhere actually and we never know when we’re in the company of one or more. They might be a stranger we meet on the street, a clerk in a store, a homeless man standing on a corner, or a coffee vendor.” Love winked. “One could be a cop who pulls you over for speeding or a nurse in the emergency room. We just never know. But that’s a great reason to treat everyone with respect and love. In your situation and mine—very unique situations, mind you—the angel identified herself to us, making us special students. And a special life should not be wasted.”

  “Let me get this straight. You’re saying that Christy, Christopher, Christine, and Christal are the same angel?”

  Love nodded. “Amazing, isn’t it?”

  “I don’t know what to say other than why me? Certainly there are others who need her help more than I.”

  Love pulled up the metal chair, twirling it around before sitting on it backward. He pointed to another chair for Teddy to use before resting his muscular forearms on the back of his chair. “You must understand that in the Truth there isn’t one that’s more important than another. Your problem does not rank lower or higher on a trauma scale than say a person in prison, or someone in financial need, or someone whose life is a total mess because of drugs and alcohol. Even though we don’t know the number of angels in the Truth’s army, there are plenty to go around.

  “As for why you, there’s a plan in the works for your future. Something special has been set aside for only you to do. If your life continued to be consumed with the depression, there wouldn’t have been anyone to fulfill that plan. I don’t know the details—only the Truth knows—but I can speculate that you’re a vital part of His plan. It may be something as simple as saying a word of encouragement to somebody—but that word plants a seed. Or, since you are out of a job, maybe the Truth has a new career in your future—a job that will touch lives.”

  Teddy rubbed his head. “This is so surreal.”

  Love scooted his chair closer to Teddy. “I know it’s overwhelming, but don’t get caught up in the whole angel thing. Focus on what you’ve learned. Remember your deadline.”

  “But we’re not talking about a physical death…you said so.”

  Love looked at Teddy for several moments before speaking. “You met a man in the woods. His name is Flagg.”

  Teddy nodded.

  “I believe Christy told you his job is to deceive and confuse, right?”

  A second nod.

  “OK. If you do not meet the deadline—if you do not return home with these lessons in your heart—it is true you’ll never see your family again because you will belong to Flagg. Believe me when I say that Flagg’s concern does not lie with your return to your family.”

  “What am I? A prize that goes to the loser?”

  Love leaned back. “No. Not at all. This is not a game. It is very serious.” His eyes locked on Teddy’s. “You were lost when you tried to kill yourself. If it hadn’t been for Christy snatching you from your car at the last possible second, you’d be dead now. Not only would you have found yourself in a vile place filled with more suffering, pain, and anguish than you can possibly imagine, you would have spent eternity with Flagg and evildoers like him.” He scooted his chair closer. “This is your second chance, a chance not many people get. The Truth saved you, but you were only given seven days to learn what you needed—to renew the faith, hope, and love that child who sat on the front pew of Bud’s church many years ago knew. The one filled with peace and compassion that showed others charity and goodwill. The Truth doesn’t want anyone to suffer depression. You had to be redirected so you could become the person the Truth intended.”

  Teddy touched his chest where he’d felt the strong force grab his coat. Christy. She’d been the gust of wind? His chest tightened. Gratitude bubbled within him. Christy cared for him before she even met him. The Truth loved him enough to send His angel. Even when he lay broken and battered—a poor testament for a husband and father—the Truth knew what was best for him. Instead of watching him destroy the rest of his life, healing wrapped his broken spirit with love. Teddy dropped his head, bracing his hands on his knees. Shuddering sobs racked his body. He’d never felt this much love before and simple words were inadequate to express the gratefulness that filled him.

  A warm hand found his shoulder, squeezing and providing comfort. Teddy slid from his chair to his knees.

  Teddy felt Love’s whispered words in his ear. “Abraham was tasked to find ten good people in the corrupt city of Sodom or it would be destroyed. He couldn’t find even one. Only Lot and his daughters were saved before God destroyed the city. You are one of the ten, Teddy. Hold the Truth in your heart. Take these lessons and use them in your life. Return home to your family. They love you more than you will ever know. Don’t let the Flaggs of the world or evil defeat you. You have the power to win. You are a child of the Truth!”

  Uncontrollable tears of joy streamed down Teddy’s face.

  31

  By mid-morning, Teddy and Love had discusse
d unconditional love, its power and resilience. Teddy couldn’t resist the guilty feelings of failure that lingered as he remembered his shortcomings. Love told him to forget them because the Truth had forgotten them, so he pledged to turn them into a burning desire to do better for himself and his family. And for the Truth.

  “How is it possible that I missed this about love before now?” Teddy asked. “I mean, my marriage and my relationship with my family would have been so much better if I’d only known this years ago.” Teddy stood from his chair and paced the aisle between the bunks. Paper coffee cups cluttered the floor and inside the window sills. Love’s thermos, now empty, lay at the sergeant’s feet.

  Love drained the last of his coffee from his cup. “You’re there now. Just make good use of your new knowledge.” He glanced at his watch. “It’s almost time.”

  “Time for what?”

  “Time for the last leg of your journey.”

  “You mean going home?”

  The sergeant smiled. “Yes. Going home.”

  Teddy couldn’t restrain himself. He leaped as high as he could in the confines of the hut. As soon as his feet struck the floor, he broke into a silly dance.

  Love laughed.

  “This is going to be the best Christmas ever!” Teddy said, out of breath.

  Still laughing, Love kicked Teddy’s empty chair toward him. “Hold your celebration for later. There’s something else we need to discuss.”

  Teddy stopped. As he walked to the chair, he said, “That didn’t sound good. You really know how to kill a party.”

  The sergeant shuffled to a green duffle bag lying by the front door. Teddy hadn’t seen Love bring it in and wondered where it had come from. From the duffle Love removed a small, polished wooden box.

  He handed the box to Teddy. “Take this with you, but do not open it.”

  Turning the box over in his hands, Teddy asked, “What do I do with it?”