Tidal Love

by KM Lowe

  “Damn bag. That looked a little less messy in my head.”

  “Why don’t you show me.”

  Gio untangles us and throws down my bag with a clunk on the tiles and looks up at me. “I hope you don’t have any breakables in there.”

  “Nothing that can’t be replaced.”

  My answer clearly satisfies Gio, because he stalks towards me like I’m his prey. My whole body feels like electric is pulsing through my limbs.

  He pushes the straps of my dress down my arms and the garment falls to a puddle on the ground. I’m standing in my strapless bikini, staring up into Gio’s eyes. His thumb rubs against my lips softly before his lips find mine and devour my mouth. Our mouths are connected ferociously; probing, duelling, exploring. If I could die from a kiss, then this would be one of those kisses. It leaves me gasping, seeing stars.

  Gio lifts me off my feet and walks backward with me in his arms. We crash into something, but it doesn’t deter our movements. I rip at his shirt, trying to give me skin on skin contact with him. There’s too much clothing between us.

  Gio puts me down on a couch and crawls between my legs, pulling his shirt over his head easily. He kisses down my chest, hooking his fingers at either side of my pants and pulls them down my legs teasingly slowly. I’m ready to combust. I need him now.

  He kisses back up the inside of my leg and lands on my core. His tongue circles my clit, sucking, pulling it between his teeth. My body is writhing below him. Holding onto his head, moving him to places I need, sends me spiralling into oblivion. He kisses back up my stomach, pulling down the cups of my bikini, nipping at my nipples. I’m trying to get my breathing under control, but all he’s doing is sending me spiralling again. He wriggles out of his shorts and gives me no warning as he plunges deep inside of me, hitting my cervix with the tip of his dick. I feel so full, but in a good way. I’ve never had as many orgasms in my life, but Gio is only satisfied when I’m sated.

  “This is going to be quick, honey.”

  I can’t even answer him. I grip my legs around his waist and pull him in deeper with my crossed ankles. Thrust for thrust, kiss for kiss, we climb higher and higher until we explode together. I’m seeing more than stars as Gio empties inside of me.

  Gio rolls off me and pulls me into his arms. My head rests on his chest comfortably. I can feel his beating heart underneath my ear. It makes me smile that I can do that to a man. A man I like. If I could bottle up that feeling I would. It’s the biggest boost to my confidence.

  “I’m never going to get enough of you, Harleigh. I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do when you go home.”

  And just like that reality hits me like a bucket of cold water. I’m going home in about three weeks’ time. What will happen then?

  I take in a deep breath, let it out slowly, and decide to speak my mind. One thing I love about Giovani is that he never judges anything I say. He’s supportive, and for me, that’s the biggest plus side. I’ve never had a relationship where the man has listened to me, put me first, and encouraged me to be me.

  “I’m growing fond of you, too, Giovani.” I look up from his chest and see him watching me closely. “We’ve not got long left before I go home.”

  “Then what, beautiful?”

  I shrug. Tears fill my eyes and I look away from Gio’s intense stare.

  “Hey…” Gio pushes me onto my back and hovers above me. “Don’t cry. We’ll figure out something. All I know is, I’m not ready to say goodbye to you. I don’t think I ever will be.”

  “It’s scary, because I never thought I’d find myself in this position again. To be here with you, to trust you, it has taken guts. But the confidence I’ve gained in myself is something else. I think I like the person you make me.”

  “I’m glad you’ve noticed a difference in yourself, baby. I’ve noticed the difference too, and I love the person I’m seeing. I loved the person I crashed into on your very first day too. I think our broken souls connected in a way I’ve never felt before.”

  “Crazy, huh?”

  “It is, but I’m looking forward to the next three weeks we have together. We’ve got so much more to see and explore.”

  “It must be boring for you, because you’ve seen it all before.”

  He shakes his head. “I’m seeing it with fresh eyes, Harleigh. It’s like I can see again for the first time in such a long time. I have no barriers up to protect me. You have my heart and soul in your hands.”

  “I better not squeeze too hard then.” I smile.

  “Squeeze as hard as you like, just don’t break me.”

  “Never.” I reach up and capture his mouth with mine.

  And in just a few days, my world has turned on its axis, but for the first time in my life, it’s for a good reason. This holiday and meeting Giovani seems like it’s too good to be true. As exciting as it is, I’m constantly thinking that something is going to tear it all away from me.

  Good things don’t happen to me… ever.

  Chapter 20

  Giovani

  Another glorious week has passed with Harleigh by my side. We’ve spent every spare minute together, enjoyed each other’s company, and made love so many times I can’t even count. I like it. No, I fucking love it. Having this connection with another person is euphoric. Even more so, because I had given up on love a long time ago. I believed I was destined to be businessman of the year for the rest of my life. I never expected to have a need to share my life with another woman.

  Spending every moment with Harleigh has changed me. Having breakfast, lunch, and dinner together, waking up beside her, smelling her coconut shampoo. I can even tell you how many lines she has on her face, because I’ve studied her beautiful features when she was sleeping. I can hear the little whimpering noises she makes when she’s in a deep sleep. Every detail is engraved into my memory. I will never forget one moment we spend together.

  Today, I had to take care of paperwork and Harleigh went to the beach on her own to read and soak up some rays. I think I’ve tired her out lately - and not just with the sightseeing - not that either of us is complaining. The last ten days has showed us both that we can’t go back to life as we once knew it. Things need to change forever. This relationship can’t be over at the end of her holiday. I won’t let it.

  “Hi, sweetheart,” says my mum, as she places a plate of sandwiches down in front of me. “Roast beef and English mustard. Still your favourite, right?”

  “Hi. Thanks. Yes, still my all-time favourite. I never heard you come home.”

  I look back at my house, but my father isn’t anywhere in sight. Usually, where one is, the other isn’t far behind.

  “I didn’t want to disturb you. You looked so busy with work. Your father went for a nap, so I thought I’d make sure you’re eating and keeping hydrated,” she sits down beside me at the table. “Someone needs to take care of you boys. You work too hard.”

  I put down the pen and take a bite of my sandwich. I didn’t realise how hungry I was until I smelt the delicious salad decorating my plate.

  “I’m perfectly capable of looking after myself, Mum. But, thank you. You saved me a job.” I smile at my mother warmly.

  My mother has always been the perfect mother, cooking and cleaning for us, teaching us right from wrong, and shaping us into the men we are today. Even now I have my own life away from home, she still takes care of me when she comes to visit. In fact, she spends most of her time in my kitchen, trying to entice me back home to Italy with all her delicious Italian food and recipes. I must put on several pounds every time she visits.

  “How are you, sweetie?” She reaches over and squeezes my arm.

  I nod. “I’m good, Mum. I’m really good, in fact.”

  She smiles warmly at me and I see her sparkling blue eyes. “I think that’s all down to that beautiful young woman.”

  “Your guess would be right.” I beam.

  “Young love. I’m so happy for you. You deserve this happiness
. I never thought I’d see you with another woman again.”

  I’ve never said it out loud to Harleigh, but I do love her. I know I do. I just don’t want to frighten her away with words too soon. I’d rather show her with my actions. I’ll take this relationship as slowly as possible. It will kill me if she decides a long-distance relationship isn’t going to work.

  “You haven’t told her you love her, have you?”

  I lean my arms on the table and look out into my garden. “I haven’t. She’s going home in less than two weeks. She’s been through so much, Mum.”

  “When I first met her, I could see the pain in her eyes. But, each day that has passed, I’ve seen it less and less. You’re a good influence. Just like she’s a good influence on you. You can’t pass up that kind of friendship and love.”

  I know the change I’ve witnessed in Harleigh, but to hear someone else say it is different. I’m glad she trusts me enough to let her guard down around me, but I don’t want to push too far too quickly. We’ve got our whole life ahead of us if we’re willing to give it a go.

  “I’m so happy to see a genuine smile on your face.”

  “I’m always happy, Mum.”

  My mum scoffs and squeezes my arm tighter. “You might think you can fool me the way you fooled everyone else, but I saw the hurt and pain you’ve been harvesting over the last few years. It was going to take someone extremely special to get through that tough wall you built around yourself.”

  I open my mouth to speak, but then close it again. I thought I had been a good actor, but clearly not.

  “One day, when you have kids of your own, you’ll know what I mean when I say we see everything. A mother or father sees every little change in their child, no matter what age they are. Just like I can see how happy and in love you are today. I’m surprised you’re getting any work done knowing Harleigh is out there somewhere, on her own.”

  My mum isn’t wrong. I’m trying to work, but all I have thought about is Harleigh. I’ve thought about calling her to make sure she’s got plenty of sunscreen on, making sure she’s keeping hydrated. But, most of all, I’m imagining her wrapped in my arms. The thought alone has got my dick stirring to life in my pants.

  “I’ve never felt this way before.”

  “My papa always used to tell me that when you find the one, every piece of your heart is complete. Your soul is as bright as a star. And when that happens, you’re the strongest you can be. I can see that strength when you and Harleigh are together. I’m just sad you’ve both had to have heartache before you found one another.”

  “Things happen for a reason, right?” I take the last bite of my sandwich and sit back in my seat.

  “They sure do. When I met your dad, things were different. We didn’t have the time to court. We were married within six weeks of knowing each other. Now, you can build a relationship, watch and feel it grow, and nurture it to be strong and unbreakable. If you and Harleigh are meant to be together, you’ll figure it all out. You’ll find a way to make it work.”

  “I hope you’re right, Mum.”

  My mum stands up, leans across to me, and places a kiss on my forehead. “I’m always right, sweetheart.”

  And with those parting words, she walks into the house, leaving me staring at her retreating back. I can always rely on my mum to tell it to me straight. She has always been a strong, independent woman that I look up to. She taught me to treat women right, to respect them. ‘Never treat a woman the way you wouldn’t like being treated yourself.’

  Without my mum, I don’t know where I’d be because my father is the complete opposite of her. He always provided for us financially, but he lacked parenting skills. Maybe that’s why he and Lucca butt heads at every turn. They lack a connection. Lucca and I are more like our mother. We feel things. We’re not your typical Italian males that provide for their family and leave the rest up to the woman. When, or if, I have kids, I want to be a hands-on father. Maybe I can thank my father for teaching me what not to do.

  I gather up all my paperwork, make a neat pile, and get up to file it away for the day. I’ve done everything I set out to do. Now I’m ready to take some time for me.

  I’m actually enjoying taking me time, and I never thought I’d hear myself say that.

  Chapter 21

  Harleigh

  I’ve sat on the beach for about two hours, maybe even longer. Time just rolls away from me on days like today where I’m stuck in my own head. I’ve enjoyed this quiet time, just to gather up some thoughts and try to make sense of them. Not that it has worked, because my thoughts and feelings are still confusing the life out of me. My head and heart are not on the same page. My past is still colliding with my future, making it difficult to move on.

  I give up trying to analyse everything now, because I’m just making myself sink further into a dark hole. A place I hate myself for sinking to, because I’ve spent too much of my life there already. I take out my book and get transported to another world by the marvellous Toya Richardson. Her new beach read series is the perfect escape from reality. But, reading this type of story lets me see that holiday romance can exist, not only in books, but real life too. The end of my holiday doesn’t need to mean the end of Giovani and me. Our holiday fling can be so much more if we want it to be. We just need to be open with one another and willing to work at a relationship. I need to stop being timid and just voice my thoughts and feelings.

  Eurgh! Of course I want everything with Gio, but who says he wants the same? He’ll probably be glad to see the back of me at the end of this. I’m surprised I haven’t scared him away with the amount of baggage I come with. I’m damaged goods; that will never change. With the amount of physical and emotional scars I have, I’ll always feel broken. I heard Martin’s derogatory comments often enough to know that I’m useless, worthless, and no man will ever want his sloppy seconds.

  “What did I ever see in you?”

  Martin grips my hair tightly and pulls my head backwards. It feels like he’s about to snap my neck and there isn’t one thing I can do to stop him.

  “You make me sick. The day you walked into my life, everything changed.” He spits in my face.

  “You can let me go,” I cry out. “I’ll leave.”

  He laughs hysterically. He looks like a maniac. A mad man possessed.

  “I’ll never let you go. You’re mine. To do with as I please. You’ll be seen and not heard from this moment on, do I make myself clear?”

  “Yes.” I sob.

  He pushes me away from him and I land on the floor on my backside. I look up carefully in time to see him walking out of the kitchen. I take a huge breath in and out, feeling my lungs fill up with pure air. This is what happened because I answered the phone to his boss. Well, I didn’t know it was his boss. The phone rang and it was only me here. I take it I’m not to answer the phone at all now. Just another rule in my forever growing list. I’d be as well stuck in a cage. Animals have more freedom.

  My phone rings and snaps me out of my depressive state. I’m having one of those days when my rational self can’t remain positive. It’s too easy to think about the negative things and let them tear me down. The least little thing transports me back to the past. I’m not strong enough to walk around with a permanent mask on that says I’m okay all the time. Occasionally, it slips, and the whole world gets a glimpse at the dark place I’m in. While I’ve been here in Bulgaria, that dark abyss hasn’t consumed me as much as it did back home. I’ve been happy. I’ve felt alive for the first time in God knows how long. I feel free here.

  “Hello.” I sigh.

  “Hey. What’s wrong?” asks Gavin.

  I turn onto my back on the lounger and take in a deep breath. “Nothing. I’m at the beach.”

  “Yeah, and I know you better than that, doll. Every time I’ve spoken to you lately you’ve had a burst of energy. Today, you sound…” He pauses for a few moments and I move the umbrella to block out the sun from my face. “I don’t k
now. You sound defeated. Talk to me.”

  “I’m just being silly.”

  “Let me be the judge of that. Now, start talking before I book a flight out to Bulgaria.”

  I sit up quickly because I know my brother is impulsive where I’m concerned. It won’t take him two seconds to book a flight and be on his way out here.

  “I’m just having one of those days where I let my dark thoughts consume me. I’ll be fine.”

  “And…?”

  I bang my hand down on my knee, because my brother is like a dog with a bone when he wants to know something. He won’t let go until he gets what he wants.

  “I just…” I look out to the sea and try to think about what to say. “You know this guy I’ve kind of been seeing a lot of?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Well, I really like him, Gav. He’s kind, considerate, attentive, and he treats me like a queen.” I take in a deep breath. “I’ve never felt so cherished before.”

  “Okay. So, what’s the problem?”

  “It will have to end when I come home.” I sigh dramatically.

  I feel like a child being told I’m not allowed something. I want to stand in the middle of this beach and have a tantrum. I know how childish that sounds, but that’s the mood I’m in today. Why couldn’t Giovani and I cross paths when he lived in Scotland? Why now, when we’re a million miles apart? Okay, that’s probably a slight exaggeration, but it feels like we live different lives. His life and my life are so extremely far apart.

  “Harls, why does it need to end?”

  “Because I live in Scotland and Giovani lives here for part of the year and goes travelling for the other part. He’s easy going. Whereas I’m this hermit that likes routine and structure.” Tears sting my eyes, but I’m determined not to let them fall.

  “Listen to me, because I don’t want you to do something irrational. Think about your life, Harleigh. Think about where you’ve come from, what you’ve faced, and then think about the last couple of weeks. If you like this Giovani guy, tell him. You can work anywhere in the world, doll. Whether you teach or edit, you can do it freelance. By the sounds of it, this guy has made his mark on you and I know you wouldn’t just let anyone roll into your life. That means he’s special. That means you have something worth fighting to keep.”