Razing Kayne

by Julieanne Reeves

  Jess gave up and placed the box on a display shelf. She'd ask Kayne about it sometime, she decided. For now, she had too much to do to play around with some pretty baubles.***

  Kayne sat in his patrol car outside of Darcy's Kids as two o'clock rolled around. He signed off duty just as Jess pulled into the parking lot. She'd been on his mind all day long. He wasn't sure if going down on her would fall under the heaven or hell category. She'd been so damned responsive he'd forgotten his end game—to show her she was desirable. He wasn't sure who'd learned that lesson. He just hoped to hell he hadn't fucked up.

  She gave him a cautious but seemingly genuine smile as he approached.

  “Hey, baby.” He brushed his lips across her temple. He turned his attention back to his phone, knowing that if he stared for too long, he'd get hard. Hell, he was already halfway there from smelling that soft almonds and vanilla scent, mixed with what was uniquely her.

  “This phone program is very cool.” He hoped the benign conversation would give him a moment to will his libido into submission. Jess had sent him an app that would link her calendar to his.

  She smiled sweetly. “When I update mine, it will send you a notice and update yours as well, unless you want me to turn the feature off.”

  “No, this is good. I like knowing where you are.” He pointed her out on his GPS feature. “Do I need to do something with my phone so you can see where I am and what I'm doing?”

  “Yes, but I'll show you how, later. I need to get food in before it melts. Carry a tray of cupcakes?” She pointed to the covered trays stacked on the front passenger seat and floorboard.

  “Those are cupcakes?” He couldn’t help but admire the beautifully arranged cakes shaped and decorated to look like a large basket of wildflowers.

  “Somewhere under all the icing, there are cupcakes.” Jess laughed.

  What a beautiful sound.

  Her voice sobered. “So what are you doing here?”

  “I thought I'd—” Kayne stopped midsentence, suddenly certain he had made a huge miscalculation in coming. Not once had it occurred to him that she might not want him with her, that maybe she didn't want to share this part of her life.

  Oksana had never wanted him around the Russian Community Center. She claimed it was her place to be free from the duties and responsibilities of being a wife and mother. As if she'd ever been either.

  Kayne took a step backward. “I'm sorry. Maybe I should go.”

  “Kayne, stop.” Jess caught his arm. “I didn't know if you were here on business, or if you decided to meet us for the party. That's all.”

  “I wanted to see what this place was all about.” He studied her, trying to get a read on her true feelings. If she was unhappy about his arrival, she hid it well.

  Jess shrugged. Her eyes scanned the property. “As you can see, it's not much, but you're welcome. Just don't be surprised if someone puts you to work, or take it personally if your uniform gets a cold shoulder or a cagey look from some of the parents.”

  “I hadn't thought of that. Maybe I should go.” He felt foolish for presuming she'd want him here. This was her life, her friends, and he didn't belong.

  “Come on, you're here. Besides Judge Johnson is here.” She pointed to an old, rusted-out Chevy truck. “You can meet his granddaughter, Tiffany. She’s Maddy’s best friend and spends a lot of time at our house.”

  Kayne closed his eyes tightly. Contrary to what Jess believed, he knew in his heart he’d come so very close to losing Gracie yesterday. Jess’s next words pulled Kayne out of his thoughts. “Just don't arrest anyone unless they have an outstanding warrant for homicide. Anything else gets overlooked today.”

  Kayne nodded, grabbed one of the trays of cupcakes, and followed Jess through the door he’d seen the kids disappear through mere seconds after the Tahoe had come to a complete stop. He'd thought Jess was exaggerating until he received a few wary looks from several of the adults. They had that cornered fight-or-flight look about them. He fought to stay relaxed and ignore it, hoping if he stayed calm, they would too.

  Judge Johnson jovially slapped Kayne on the shoulder. “Now this is what I like to see. How are you doing, my boy? I see the whole family is here.” His fingers tightened on Kayne’s shoulder. “You can call me Buck.”

  “Pretty good. Fairly uneventful day at the office.”

  He took the tray of cupcakes from Jess. “That's what I like to hear too, especially at the start of fishing season.”

  Jess rolled her eyes. “Don't forget hockey, football, baseball, and basketball season. Oh and hunting season. This town all but shuts down for the first official day of hunting season.” Jess laughed.

  “Nice to see you aren't holding a grudge.” Buck leaned in and kissed her cheek.

  Jess frowned. “Oh, I'm furious with you, but that's work and...well, this isn’t. Which, speaking of, are you allowed to come watch game six of the Stanley cup playoffs at my—our—place next Sunday? Figured we might as well make use of that theater downstairs.”

  Kayne loved the built-in movie theater-like media room in Jess’s basement with its wall-size flat screen and stadium-style seating. He could easily imagine watching the playoff game in there.

  Buck looked at the ground, rubbed the back of his neck. “I don't know, Jess,” he hedged. “Kayne and his attorney might not feel comfortable with that. The case may be closed, but I don't want anyone questioning its outcome.”

  “I don't mind. I'll let Brian know. He seems like a good sort, he might even be speaking to me by then.” Kayne laughed. Brian was anything but happy with him, and, in a way, he could understand why. Brian had made it clear that he felt Kayne had made a colossal mistake by giving in instead of fighting for rightful custody. Kayne hadn’t called him back yet, but he knew he couldn’t do that. He could not rip Gracie or Jessica or any of the rest of the kids’ world apart.

  “Well, then it's settled.” Jess thumbed over her shoulder. “I need to run back out to the truck for a minute. Keep an eye on Gracie and Isabelle?”

  “Will do, short-stuff.” Kayne laughed when she wrinkled her nose at the endearment. He watched her walk away before turning to locate the munchkins. The east wall was a series of French doors that had been thrown wide, allowing for an unobstructed view of the playground. A man lurked nearby, and his body language bothered Kayne.

  “You're Maddy's new dad.” A little girl hurled herself into Kayne’s side for a hug, pulling his attention away from the man he'd been watching. He’d swear the guy’s focus was on Grace and Isabelle. He assumed he was one of the other parents, but something about him didn't sit right, and that left Kayne feeling uneasy.

  Kayne looked down into the smiling face of a precious little girl with Downs Syndrome. “I am.” Kayne’s own smile was bittersweet. He hadn’t been anyone’s dad for a long time, and a part of him felt disloyal to his deceased children.

  “I'm her bestest friend, Tiffany.” The little girl bounced up and down excitedly.

  “It's very nice to meet you, Tiffany.”

  Maddy ran up to them and grabbed Tiffany’s hand. “Sorry, Kayne.” She started tugging on that hand. “Come on, Tiffany, I need a partner for the three-legged race.”

  “But I only have two legs,” Tiffany argued, letting Maddy lead her away. Kayne couldn't hold back a chuckle over her sweet innocence.

  Buck shook his head. “Maddy is an amazing child. My granddaughter can be very challenging at times, but Maddy has defended and befriended her from the day they met. Even on days like today, Maddy seeks her out to make sure Tiffany gets to participate, even knowing they're going to lose.” Buck gave a hearty chuckle as the two came in dead last. “Boy, she does it with such grace and dignity.” Maddy gave Tiffany a high-five and a huge hug, as though they'd won first place.

  “I thought Cody was your only child?” Kayne looked pointedly at Buck. To say Kayne had been shocked to learn that fact after court yesterday was an understatement. He still didn’t know what to think a
bout how close he’d come to losing his daughter again.

  Judge Johnson had the good grace to look guilty. “Ah, yes. Cody got a young lady in the family way, so to speak, and refused to do right by her. When little Tiffany there was born, her mama abandoned her at the hospital, refusing to raise a child with Downs Syndrome. She at least had the decency to name Cody as the father. Regrettably, Cody refused to step in and raise her. My wife, who'd always wanted a little girl, took one look at Tiffany, and it was love at first sight. She’s been with us since the day we brought her home from the hospital ten years ago.”

  “How does Cody feel about her now?” Kayne couldn't help but ask. How the hell could he turn his back on his daughter? Especially one as precious as Tiffany.

  The judge gave him a long steady look as if to say, “Do you really have to ask?” before he replied, “Looks like that pretty little wife of yours could use some help.”

  Kayne glanced over his shoulder in time to see Jess carrying two giant, covered food containers, one stacked on top of the other. Of course she'd be supplying the food. He mentally kicked himself for not asking what she needed out of the truck.

  Quickly crossing the room, he took the containers out of her hands. “You're making me look bad, short-stuff.”

  “Sorry. I'll work harder at playing the damsel in distress.” She batted her eyes dramatically. “Would the big strong State Trooper help poor little ole me out and carry in the heavy food from the Tahoe while I start setting everything up?” She held out the keys.

  “Boy am I glad I'm wearing boots,” Kayne grumbled

  Jess laughed. It was a good look on her. He loved seeing the sparkle in her eyes and that damned dimple he'd yet to get his tongue on. Kayne leaned in close and whispered, “We'll have to work on that whole rescuer-damsel fantasy later. Sounds like fun.” When he pulled back, he was well rewarded. Her cheeks were stained with a pretty blush.

  Jess hadn't been kidding, Kayne realized once he reached the Tahoe. She appeared to have brought everything from crustless sandwiches cut in the shape of butterflies and flowers, to fruit on shish-kabobs that looked like a bouquet of flowers, and vegetables cut and pieced together to look like insects. Even the ice cubes had gummy bugs frozen inside. She’d gone all out.

  Kayne learned, as the party progressed, that Jess was a whirlwind of activity. She never sat down once. She seemed happy, in her element, and he received several alerts on his phone, showing she'd added more activities to her already bursting schedule. A play date here, a doctor's appointment there. Notes about finding ways to solve utility, housing, and transportation issues for families of Darcy’s Kids. But the one that brought him up short read: Plan Mother's Day gift and Luncheon for Darcy's Kids. Mother's day. That definitely had to go on his calendar.

  Kayne was sure there had to be well over a hundred people in attendance. However, when it came time for Casey to open her presents, with but a few exceptions, the bulk of gifts were the ones Jess had purchased. It made Kayne’s throat tighten with emotion when he realized Casey was as happy over new socks and underwear as she was over dress-up clothes and a tea set.

  ***

  As the party wound down, Jess found Kayne standing off by himself, watching the kids play. His expression betrayed a whirlwind of emotions. “So what do you think?”

  He was silent for a long moment. “That I wish I'd had some place like this to come to growing up.”

  “Was your mother that bad?”

  Kayne let out a heavy sigh. “She was a prostitute.” There was little emotion in his voice. “I guess I was about six when her Russian equivalent of a pimp sold us to an American looking for a wife. I don't even remember the guy’s name; we were with him for such a short time. Just long enough for Nina to get her citizenship.”

  He paused and looked at Jess thoughtfully. “I remember he was nice. He read me stories. Let me call him dad.” Kayne shrugged. “She left him to be someone's high dollar whore, and I was pretty much left to take care of myself.” He laughed bitterly. “If it weren't for Ben and Luann Dobrescu, I'd be dead or in prison.”

  For a moment, she glimpsed a bleakness in his eyes, then it was quickly masked.

  “Stupid twelve-year-old that I was, I tried to pickpocket a retired Force Recon Marine. Right in front of the cops, no less. Pop had turned in his uniform and become a youth pastor of all things.” Kayne shook his head. “He's this huge guy. Has a good two inches and forty-pounds on me still.”

  To Jess, Kayne was huge. She had a hard time imagining Ben.

  “He gave me an ultimatum that day. I could either attend youth group for eight weeks, or he'd press charges. I didn't want anything to do with him or his church, but I wasn't stupid enough to choose the alternative. I was still attending six-months later, when Nina came home one night and told me to pack, that we were flying back to Russia the next morning. Some guy from her past wanted her back. There was no way in hell I was going. I was finally getting my life together.

  Kayne shifted his stance so he could keep an eye on Gracie and Isabelle when they moved from the sandbox to the swings. “I didn't know what else to do, so I called Ben. I went to live with them that night. There were eight of us—nine once my baby sister was born—in a three-bedroom house, until we started going off to college five years later. It was crowded and chaotic and there was never any extra, but there was always enough. Enough shelter, enough food, and certainly enough love. When I left home, it was with my Eagle Scout medal, an Honors High School diploma, and a full two-year scholarship to a community college.” There was unmistakable self-pride in Kayne’s voice.

  Jess's heart broke for the child Kayne had been, and she thanked God for Ben and Luann Dobrescu. God, she'd accused him of having no idea how rough her childhood had been. Hers had been a walk in the park by comparison.

  TWENTY-ONE

  Jess pulled onto the long paved driveway after the school board meeting the following Wednesday night, surprised to see a dark sedan parked along the driveway near the house. When she slowed down to try and get a better look, the driver flipped its lights on high, nearly blinding her, and sped away.

  Her gut clenched with disappointment. Kayne had obviously had someone here who hadn’t wanted her to know their identity. Though the last week-and-a-half hadn’t been perfect, it had seemed like they were making progress. Obviously, she’d been wrong.

  When they arrived home last Saturday, Jess had shown Kayne the bedroom she'd prepared for him. He'd simply smiled and said, “Thanks,” then proceeded to move his clothing and personal items into the room. Since then, he’d been a quiet presence in the house, interacting with the children, claiming responsibility for them—all of them—on his days off, being helpful and polite, and maybe even a little flirty with her. But he had kept his physical distance. Except for those moments after they’d tucked the kids in when he kissed her goodnight. Each kiss started out chaste and ended with them breathing hard until Kayne finally bid her ”Sweet dreams, Jess,” and disappeared to his own room, leaving her hot and achy, wanting and wondering.

  Intent on locating Kayne and asking him about the strange vehicle and his visitor, Jessica accessed the security screen and discovered he was in the nursery with Gracie and Isabelle.

  She made her way upstairs, wondering what she’d say. When she reached the nursery and heard the little girls splashing in the bath tub, Jess's heart tapped a frantic beat against her ribcage. She silently peeked around the corner, and the sight before her nearly broke her heart.

  Gracie and Isabelle were happily splashing away, while Kayne sat on the floor next to the tub, his back to the wall, his forearms resting on his up-drawn knees. He had a towel bunched up in his fist, squeezing it so tight his white-knuckled hand shook.

  “Hi, short-stuff.” Kayne didn’t take his eyes off the little girls. Though the room was cool he was covered in a fine layer of sweat. It broke Jess’s heart to see Kayne battling his demons.

  “Yay, Mama's here!” Isabelle shouted. �
�Now can we put more water in?” she asked indignantly.

  Jess slowly made her way forward and looked in the tub. There was maybe two inches of water in the bottom.

  She shook her head. “I think that's plenty of water for tonight. Are you guys all scrubbed up?”

  “We didn't wash our hair.” Isabelle pouted

  Jess leaned in and pulled the plug. “You're done for tonight.”

  ***

  Kayne felt like he'd just run a marathon. He'd always been the one to give his kids their baths, even when they were tiny babies. He'd seriously considered putting the girls to bed without one, afraid of the memories doing so would conjure. He hadn't imagined it would be this difficult, but he'd done it. Mostly.

  Kayne read the girls a story once they were tucked into bed, then kissed them goodnight, thanking whatever powers that be that he had these precious moments. Together, he and Jess checked on Ash, who was patiently awaiting his own story, though he preferred to read to Kayne.

  Maddy simply wanted to be tucked in and left to read on her own. So independent. But then, according to Jess, she always had been. At five, she'd managed to keep her infant brother alive for over a week when their crack-head mother had abandoned them. Regrettably CPS separated the two well before Maddy came to live with Jess and Jarred, and though Jess had tried, she'd never learned what had happened to that baby brother. It explained why Maddy was so much older than her years and so fiercely protective of her siblings.

  Once they stepped outside Maddy's room, Jess turned to him. “Who was here tonight?”

  He was surprised by the question. “Just me and the kids, why?”

  “I saw the black car, Kayne.” She crossed her arms defiantly. “It sped out of here the second I pulled in.” She held up her hands to stop any response he would have made. “You know what, never mind, I'm sorry. I promised you I wouldn't ask any questions about your relationships, and I won’t.”

  That got his attention, more than the presence of the strange vehicle. When she turned to walk away, Kayne captured her arm. Jarred had been a class-A prick for cheating on her, but dammit he wasn't going to pay for his sins.