Intractable Souls : Book 1 of the Bound for Ireland Series

by Tricia Daniels

  “No! You guys have stressed me out.”

  “He sure is wound tight right now. I told you he loves you.”

  “Oh that’s right, that’s why he asked Hannah big boobs out on a date!” She frowns.

  “Well, I think I understand why he did that. I think he was trying to prove a point. I think he was trying to prove to you that you really don’t want him to see anybody else. So was he right about that?”

  She shrugs her shoulders. “Is it ok if we call it a night? I’m exhausted.”

  Noah sighs deeply. “Of course. I’ll see to the bill.”

  “I’m just going to say goodbye to Rachel.”

  It isn’t easy ignoring Ethan when he’s only a few feet away, but she does as she gives Rachel a hug. Barely holding it together, she tries to avoid his unnerving stare when she hears Noah’s voice across the room. It grows louder with his escalating anger. Standing alert, she tries to hear what’s being said.

  “$300? Just what the fuck was in that brownie?” He screams at the waitress. “Even ‘special’ brownies wouldn’t cost that much. Fucking O’Connell!”

  Olivia looks over at him suspiciously. “Ethan? What the hell did you do?” Looking mighty pleased with himself, Ethan turns away avoiding eye contact and saying absolutely nothing as he tips his glass to his lips.

  When Noah starts to scream at the poor waitress again, Olivia grabs Cindy by the arm as she passes. “I need your help.” Dragging Cindy towards the table, Olivia shoots Ethan a nasty look as she passes. “You’re an asshole, Ireland.” When Olivia is far enough out of the room, Rachel turns to look at him. “Did you really charge him $300 for a brownie?”

  Ethan nods and tries to hold back his laughter.

  “Nice! I’m impressed!” Rachel nods her head in acknowledgement.

  Once Olivia and Cindy have gotten the bill sorted out, Olivia starts towards the bar and notices Ethan is no longer there. The music is really loud now and she puts her hand on Rachel’s shoulder to get her attention.

  “Hey girl! Are you leaving finally?”

  “Yes, this was a bad idea and I really want it to be over with.” She frowns. “Where’s Ethan?”

  Rachel opens her eyes wide. “Um, well Scott suggested he go outside and get some air.”

  “Is he still angry?”

  Rachel laughs. “That’s an understatement! Seething is more like it.”

  “Oh, just great.”

  Noah waits for her at the front door, holding it open for her. Walking out into the cool evening air, she shivers. Ethan is parked right out front, leaning against the hood of his car waiting for her. Standing when he sees them come out, he begins to walk towards them, making Olivia nervous. She glances at Noah. “Please, don’t get into a fight.”

  He smiles at her but doesn’t answer.

  “Noah?”

  “Ok, I promise I won’t start anything.”

  When Ethan reaches them, he ignores Noah all together. “Olivia, can I talk to you for a minute?” He stands in front of her, stopping her from passing. “Please.” She looks up at Noah who doesn’t look too pleased but he waits for her cue. “It’s ok, Noah. Can you give us a few minutes?” Noah locks his eyes to Ethan’s, giving him a silent warning. “I’ll go get the car.” He finally says as he walks away leaving them alone.

  “Ethan, please don’t make a scene.” The cool breeze makes her shiver again, prompting him to take off his jacket and wrap it around her shoulders. “I just want to talk to you.” She can hear the distress in his voice. “Can I drive you home so we can talk? Please.”

  Ethan watches Noah pull his car up beside them and then get out, waiting at the passenger door for her. Oh hell no! He’ll lose it, if she gets in that car.

  “Olivia. We need to talk.” His voice is low, desperate. Something in his eyes traps her there. Stopping her from leaving. She thinks on it a long time before walking over to where Noah is waiting. Ethan paces, muttering in Gaelic while he waits.

  “What’s going on?” Noah doesn’t like the look on her face.

  “Would it be extremely horrible if I let Ethan take me home?”

  “Do you think that’s a good idea?” Noah asks concerned. “He still looks really angry.”

  “You’re the one who made him angry, he’s not mad at me.” Her tone has a little bite to it and she quickly apologizes. “I’m sorry, Noah. I’m just… he won’t hurt me. He just wants to talk and I guess you’re right… maybe I do love him.”

  Noah shrugs. “Well if that’s what you want, then my job here is done. Any chance I can get a good night kiss?”

  “That would not be a good idea.” She says rolling her eyes.

  Glancing over, he catches Ethan’s glare. “Yeah, you’re probably right and now that I realize just how much he loves you, I feel a little guilty for yanking his chain tonight. Listen, Olivia, if ever there is a time that he doesn’t treat you right, you give me a call… I’ll kick his ass. I promise that I’ll take good care of you, if you give me the chance.”

  She smiles. “I believe you. Thank you so much for tonight. I think that was the worst date I’ve ever been on.” She gives him a small smile.

  “What are you talking about worst date? I got a dessert date with the beautiful Cindy. You figured out that you’re in love with a tightly wound Irishman. It’s a win win situation right?”

  Olivia wraps her arms around his middle giving him a friendly hug, knowing that Ethan hasn’t taken his eyes off her for a minute. When Noah drives away, she walks back to where Ethan is waiting at the Challenger with the passenger door open. Smelling his cologne on his jacket, she inhales deeply and wraps it tighter around herself as he closes her door. Getting behind the wheel, Ethan drives towards the road, then suddenly pulls into a spot at the back of the parking lot away from everyone.

  Consumed by jealousy and fueled by his anger he puts it in park and takes his hands off the steering wheel. They sit in silence for quite some time, Ethan’s body rigid and tense as he stares straight ahead. His silence is tormenting her, making her wish he would say something… anything. It’s not his style to keep this still. Why is he so quiet? She’s just about to plead him to just get it over with when he turns towards, her finally breaking the silence. “Are you warm enough?” What? She looks at him trying to gauge what’s going on in his head.

  “Yes, thank you.” Growing nervous, she fidgets with the sleeves on his jacket.

  As Ethan does, his tone goes from quiet and concerned to angry and combative without warning. “Olivia, tell me you didn’t kiss him goodbye.”

  She’s startled at his change in tone. “Not this again, Ethan.“ The frustration makes her want to scream. In the faint illumination of the parking lot light, she can see his jaw tense and his rapid pulse thrumming in his neck. “Why do you insist on asking me these kind of questions? Why do you care who I’m kissing?”

  “Because I’m jealous!“ His loud voice is evidence of his rising anger. “You had to know that seeing him touch you was going to push me over the edge!“ His eyes wide open and brows rise. “Are you happy now?”

  “Why would I be happy about that?” She says feeling defensive.

  He turns in his seat shifting himself sideways so that he can see her. “I can’t handle seeing you with that guy. I don’t want you to see him, ever again.”

  She laughs at his ridiculous statement. “Well you have a lot of nerve!” She feels her own temper start to flare now. “I do believe that it was you who asked Hannah on a date first.”

  His expression takes on a hard edge. “I only did it because you told me to date other women!” His tone threatens to engage her in a full-blown screaming match. “That’s all you’ve talked about for two days.”

  “Well you didn’t waste any time did you? But then she practically throws herself at you every day.” Raising her voice, Olivia has no intentions of backing down this time.

  “And how many times has Noah tried to get into your panties?” Staring at her with ste
ely eyes, the muscles in his jaw clench and his nostrils flare as he tries to hold back his anger. What was I supposed to do? I figured you really must want me to do it, you just kept pushing.”

  “I never pushed you to see other woman!” Or did she? Olivia can feel herself getting antsy as her natural flight response starts to kick in and she battles the urge to run.

  “Yes, you did!“ Ethan erupts. “Jesus, woman!” His arms flail angrily as he speaks.

  “Ethan, I said you could date other woman if you wanted to… not that I wanted you to!“ She can’t look at him anymore, her eyes drop to watch her hands still fidgeting frantically, twisting at the cuffs of his jacket.

  Furious, he bangs his hand down hard on the console making Olivia jump. “How am I supposed to know what you want?” The angrier he gets the stronger his accent is and she has to concentrate hard in order to understand some of what he’s trying to say. “You tell me it’s ok to date other women and point them out to me for two days. Then when I ask someone out, you’re upset because you don’t want me to see other woman?” After running his hands through his hair, he leans his head back against the headrest. “I can’t fucking win! Then you show up here tonight with that jackass?”

  “Well, if you didn’t get drunk and pass out on me at the hotel maybe you would have remembered that I agreed to be your girlfriend that night.” She blurts it out and then watches the uncontrollable rage flash across his face.

  “I knew you were fucking lying to me about that night!” He says through gritted teeth. “Why? Why didn’t you just tell me when I asked you? We could have avoided this whole fucking mess.”

  Startled by the intensity of his outburst, she slowly retracts towards the door and further out of his reach… just in case. Ethan notices, stops and forces himself to take a calming breath but he just can’t let it go. “What a surprise. You don’t have an answer?” Ethan struggles, his ability to control his rage is declining. “I can’t stand it anymore, Olivia. You get into my head and I can’t think straight. I knew the very first time I saw you that we’re meant to be together. I can’t stand the thought of you being with another man. I’ve explained to you before that I’m the kind of man who needs to be in control. Every second of every day, I fight against my desires for you, and look at all the fucked up shit that’s gone on in the last week because of it. Well, from now on we do things my way. Starting with this ‘seeing other people’ garbage. That shit stops and it stops right now!”

  Olivia looks at him, locking his eyes to hers, her breathing starting to come at a quicker pace. There is something in her expression that he can’t read until she speaks. “Why do you have to fight your desires because of me?”

  Fuck. He takes another calming breath and lets it out slowly.

  “Ethan? Answer me. I knew exactly what I was getting myself into with you. We discussed it at the beginning. How things would be. How sex would be. You’ve been holding back and I want to know why.” She doesn’t look away, no longer feeling intimidated. For once Ethan hesitates, not wanting to answer.

  “Rachel told you everything that happened, didn’t she?”

  “Olivia...” He starts.

  “So is that why you won’t do those things we talked about? Dominance, false resistance, submission.”

  “Olivia. There is nothing wrong with the sex that you and I have.” His jaw tenses and he tries to keep his voice calm. “It’s pretty fucking amazing.”

  “You’re deflecting.”

  “How can I possibly take you there after what happened to you?” He growls out in frustration.

  Olivia gets angry. “Damn it, Ireland! See? That’s why I didn’t want to tell you about it. I told you that you would treat me differently if you knew.”

  Rage can no longer be contained and he yells his frustration. “Different how? By caring about your physical and emotional well-being? Damn right! There is nothing more important to me than that. And yet, despite how hard I try to put you at ease, you keep yourself so closed off to me that we can’t seem to move forward together. Things would be fine if you would just stop fighting me. I could make you happy… I know that I’m what you need. There’s no question that I’m the one you want. But you’re so damn... Intractable.”

  Olivia sits still, not moving, not blinking. His harrowing words hit her hard, and the few moments of absolute silence that follow them are daunting. “You think I’m that difficult?” She can’t hide the hurt in her voice.

  He calms his tone but he is still aggravated. “Yes… more than stubborn. Like a precious metal from some other fucking planet that won’t be shaped.”

  She sits pensively, her hands stilled in her lap. ”Rigid.” She whispers sadly.

  Ethan continues, not even noticing that she’s given up and no longer fighting. “You won’t just let things happen, it’s like you try to calculate every little thing that can go wrong and then avoid everything that would put you on that path.”

  He’s right, that’s exactly what she does. She can’t even bring herself to defend herself.

  “Life shouldn’t be lived that way, Olivia. You should jump in with both feet and experience it. Life is not a straight line… it has BENDS in it. You have to learn how to bend.”

  The message would have been much better received, if not growled at her in anger. Tears form in her eyes as her emotions turn to sadness. “Well then… I understand why you would prefer to be with the pretty blonde with all the boobage. She certainly seems to be more… bendable.” Her voice cracks as her insecurities take control of her. She’s been dreading this day; the day she can no longer restrain the tears.

  Ethan still has no idea why she feels so threatened by Hannah. Realizing how damaging his words have been, he softens his approach. “How could you possibly think that I would rather be with Hannah? Haven’t I proven to you, time and again that it’s YOU that I want? God knows why… you are the most difficult woman I have ever met.” He shakes his head and rubs his hand along the whiskers on his jaw. “When I’m with you, I feel like our souls are tangled together and we’re not meant to be apart. Don’t even suggest that you don’t feel the same. How can you question something THAT strong?”

  She says nothing, and it makes him angrier. Sighing, he continues to fight hard enough for the both of them. “Has it ever occurred to you that I’m scared too? This is new to me, I’ve never felt like this before either and you don’t make it easy on me. I have to weigh every word before it comes out of my mouth, every action and movement has to be carefully considered. I fight my own nature because I’m terrified that I’ll scare you away. Please stop running. Let me love you… we’ll figure it out together.”

  Olivia wishes she could believe him, but how? How long could he be happy with her? How long would it be before another Stacey or Hannah comes along and gets his attention? “Why her, Ethan? Of all the girls that fall all over you, why did it have to be her?”

  The guilt hits him right in the stomach, harder than one of McCabe’s punches. “Olivia,”.

  “Every night I go to bed,” She interrupts. “And I worry that all those things she said to me a few weeks ago and again tonight are true.” Tears well up in her eyes and she fights them with everything she has.

  “What did she say to you, Olivia? Tell me.” There isn’t a word to describe the emotion he feels when he sees the tears in her eyes. “Please, don’t cry. For fuck sakes, just tell me what she said. How many times do I have to beg that of you?” Begging, he reaches for her hand, tortured by seeing her so upset. He gets a sharp pain in his heart when she pulls away, moving closer to the door.

  Sniffling, she sits forward and drops his jacket off her shoulders and onto the seat then pulls away from him, wiping her tears with the back of her hand.

  Ethan becomes distressed. “Olivia, what are you doing?” He recognizes her response. She’s going to run. Pulling on the handle, she opens the door, swinging her legs out and standing. “I’m walking home.”

  “Don’t you dare
walk away, we’re not finished talking about this.” He commands. Jumping out of the car, he quickly rounds the hood and gets to her side. Continuing to walk towards the road, she completely ignores him. Desperate, he grabs her arm from behind, stopping her in mid-step and forcing her to turn around and look at him. “You have to know there’s not a chance in hell that I’m letting you walk anywhere alone at this time of night. Get your ass in the car!” He yells.

  Looking down at her elbow where he has a firm hold on her, anger starts to pulse through her blood like a jolt of electricity. When she lifts her gaze, Ethan sees for the very first time, unsettled anger in her eyes. Finding the strength to challenge his authority, she glares at him with a cold, dark look of fury. Frightened by what he sees in her expression, he releases her immediately, his hand dropping heavily to his side. A stabbing pain pierces his chest and straight into his heart. He doesn’t ever want to see that expression on her face again. His anxiety is evident in the rise and fall of his chest as he desperately considers how to stop her from leaving.

  “Olivia.” Whispering in a gentle, non-threatening tone, he tries to persuade her to stay. “Be reasonable. I’m sorry. No more yelling, we’ll just talk. Please, just get in the car.”

  She takes a step back, not once looking away from his eyes.

  “Olivia, wait.” He reaches for her again and she stops him with an arctic stare, stepping back, further away from him and out of his reach.

  Turning, she moves away at a brisk pace leaving him frozen where he stands, watching her disappear, her voice trailing off into the cool dark veil of night. “Go fuck yourself, Ireland.”